Merry Christmas!

Today is Christmas Eve. A day we should take time to stop and think about what we are celebrating. I am celebrating the birthday of Jesus Christ.

Because Jesus was born, I will live for eternity.
Because Jesus was born, I live with joy.
Because Jesus was born, I live with grace.
Because Jesus was born, I live with peace.
Because Jesus was born, I will live for eternity.

The best part, everyone can! I am not saying life will be peaches and cream. I have trials in my life, same as everyone. But because of Jesus, I can live with joy, grace and peace. I won't always, but I can by looking to Jesus everyday and relying on Him. The one and only person who will not fail me.

In other news, we have been in MN for a week now, eating too much food and watching too many movies. Movies that I mostly slept through and didn't really care about. I slept through Bewitched and Star Wars 3. We went to see Narnia. I thought it was really good and would recommend seeing it. We leave tomorrow for IA. I am excited to see my family. Our families are so different. His is scheduled, mine is fly by the seat of your pants. And am I ready for that!

The Apprentice

Did anyone watch the finale last night?

I did and I must say that I am disappointed. Mr. Trump hired Randall. Randall was an incredibly talented man with an incredible education and work experience. A good pick. I had respected Randall through out the show and was glad to see him win. Personally, I liked Rebecca better, but they were both such great choices. But then a question was asked by Mr. Trump to Randall. Mr. Trump asked Randall if he would hire Rebecca too. Randall answered with the stupidest most selfish answer I have ever heard. He said Mr. Trump, this is The Apprentice, not the apprenti, I think there should be only one. WHAT? That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard. If that was my husband saying that on live tv, I would have been so disappointed in him. He had power in his hand to give Rebecca a job too. And he blew it. He blew it in a big way. I lost all respect for him as that one sentence rolled out of his mouth. He wanted the spotlight to himself. He didn't want to share the limelight with another incredibly talented human being. Selfish. I couldn't believe it. I went to bed sad for Rebecca and disappointed with Randall.

He had been on the same team with Rebecca, worked with her, sung her praises several times and then dismissed her.

Rebecca, sorry you aren't the apprentice. You should have a job with Mr. Trump today.

Randall, nothing to say to you.

Mr. Trump, I think you lost a great employee. It would have been neat to see you stand up to Randall and hire her anyway. Maybe you will down the road.

Merry Christmas!

Why do people not say Merry Christmas anymore and instead say Happy Holidays? I realize that there are many holidays celebrated this time of year but I celebrate Christmas. I celebrate Christ's birth to this world to save my soul and anyone else who chooses to believe in Him. When I say Merry Christmas to someone, I mean it. I mean have a Merry Christmas. Take time to think about what Christmas is, Christs birth, His coming into the world.

I don't want to wish people Happy Holidays because I am not celebrating the holidays. I am celebrating Christmas. I would not at all be offended if someone said Happy Hannikah to me because that is what they are celebrating.

I do think that Christmas is downplayed. I heard a story about Wal-Mart this year, they had a Hannikah aisle, a Kwanza aisle and a Holiday aisle. WHAT?! We can call Hannikah and Kwanza what it is but not Christmas? Sounds like discrimination to me. One woman wrote several letters and they changed the name. That is outrageous.

I am a Christian in the Biblical sense of the word. I believe that God sent his son Jesus to this world as a baby (Christmas) and that he died on a cross (Good Friday) and he rose again the third day (Easter). I celebrate and cherish these holidays. What has our culture done to these holidays? Commercialized them. Christmas is all about Santa and gifts. Easter is all about the bunny, eggs and candy. These have been turned into "me" holidays. Everything is about me and what I want and what I get. I don't want Sage to grow up with that mentality. Sure, we will talk about Santa. But I won't let him believe in him. I will never tell him Santa is real. In fact, I will probably tell him it is fine to pretend that Santa is real and is coming but we don't really believe that and if he wants a certain gift, he better tell mom or grandma, cause he'll be disappointed if he only tells Santa! And yes, we will hunt Easter eggs and he will get a basket of candy but he will know the true meaning of Easter and why it is such a special day.

I love to think about Christmas and the coming of God's son to earth. Can you imagine how excited God was that time of year? He knew that he was sending his son to earth to teach us about himself and to die for our sins. I bet he was thinking, oh, I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they figure out that I am taking away the sins of this world. And how sad he was when we crucified him 33 years later. He sent us his only son and we killed him. I realize it was many years ago, but I can imagine that if I had been alive during that time, I would have been yelling Crucify, Crucify! Why? Because I am a sinner. And I don't like to think about being a sinner. I don't like to think that I was born a sinner. But I see it in Sage already. He is a sinner. He hits other kids. He yells meanly at other kids. He doesn't come when I say come here. I didn't teach him to do these things, he just does. Why? Because he is a sinner. He needs Jesus to help him to obey and to be kind. Just like I do. Everyday, I need Jesus to help me be patient with Sage, to help me not judge others, to help me live a life that reflects the goodness of Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

Busy

We have been busy the past couple of days and I am tired! Sunday, we went to NYC to see Rockefeller Center, VanGogh drawings at the Met and see some friends who were visiting. It was a fun day with a lot of walking and for a 25 week pregnant, out of shape girl with braxton hics, made the day kind of long. But we did have fun.

Monday, I had a dr. appointment and did the glucose test. That night, we got our first professional photograph taken at Picture People. Our appointment wasn't until 8pm, so I didn't know what to expect from Sage. He did great! We haven't seen the pictures yet because we couldn't wait around for them to be developed, Sage needed to go to bed! We will go look at them tonight!

Tuesday, Sage and I met a friend at a mall about half hour away and hung out with her and her 8 month old. Then we had a playdate later in the afternoon and then I got to go hang out with some friends. It is actually a moms club and I am still getting to know everyone. But they are really nice and we will meet during the day to do stuff too and then have one night a week called moms night out. I don't usually make it to those but had fun last night.

Today, Sage and I are both still in our pajamas at noon! I love these days. We ate breakfast, I read my Bible for an hour while he destroyed the living room, I did some laundry and some cleaning and now he is happily eating leftover mac-n-cheese for lunch! This afternoon, we need to go to Target for diapers and such and then pick up Drew from work and off to the mall for a no cooking kind of day dinner at McDonalds and to view/purchase our pictures. We will probably only buy one or two because we are cheap and I don't mean poses, I mean actual pictures!

I need to finish Christmas cards tonight! And pack tomorrow and make a cheesecake for Friday morning! We will fly out, weather permitting, Saturday and Sage and I will not return until Jan. 9! We are so excited to see family and friends and be in the good ole Midwest again! And when we return, I will be in my third trimester and will have to start getting ready for the baby to come... switch Sage to a big boy bed and many small detail things!

So, I will try to blog while I am away, but, might be having too much fun or nothing to write!

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Why I blog

I blog because it is a release. I blog because I live away from family who love to know all the small details of my life, which is my son, Sage. I blog because I can reflect on things that Sage is doing, I am struggling with, things that happen to be mommy things. Why? Because I am a mommy. I am a mommy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. At this time in my life, it seems it is all I do. When do I wake up? When Sage wakes up. When do I eat? When Sage eats. Everything that I do is for my family. I make breakfast, we eat, and I clean up. I shower (sometimes) or go mall walking, or go to a playgroup. I make lunch, we eat, and I clean up. Sage takes a nap and so do I (sometimes). We might go to the grocery store or Target and then I make dinner, we eat and I clean up. In between those things, I wash a load of clothes, hang them up and put the washer away, I clean the bathroom, sweep and mop the floor, swiffer the floors and while I do those things, I listen for what Sage is doing. As I type, I listen as he crawls under the table and plays with his Thomas train. I listen as I sweep to make sure he is playing in the living room and not destroying the Christmas tree. I listen as I clean the bathroom or watch to make sure he doesn’t put his hand in any harmful chemicals. I also think. I think about what I need to do today, can I play with my son a lot or a little? Do I need to bake anything to take somewhere? Do we have enough milk, bread, and cheese? Do I need to go get anything? My thoughts and actions revolve around being a mommy. I am also pregnant and I worry. Do I pray enough for the child growing inside me? Do I think of him enough? Do I eat right so my new son can have great health?

Some of my blogs are my frustrations with my life, husband or son. Some are funny or at least I try to make them funny. I blog to brighten others day. I blog because it brightens my day.

This blog is in response to a blog I read about not wanting to read about mommy blogs. It upset me at first. But now, after blogging, I realize that for me, it doesn't matter if people read my blog, it is an outlet for me. Maybe I don't have the most creative subject matters, but it is a way for me to release feelings and opinions. As my name states this blog is about my thoughts and happenings. Some good thoughts, some bad, some good happenings, some bad. I choose to share with you, the blogging world. Sometimes, I don't share things because I don't want to offend anyone. But not offending people is not my purpose for this blog. So, from now on, I am going to be more real with you. By more real I mean tell you more of my thoughts. Not more gritty details but thoughts about life. It seems scarier to put my thoughts out for your consideration than it does the details of my day. You will judge me. And, at this moment, I don't care.

A Little, maybe a Lot Deeper

As I read one of my normal blogs of a long time friend, she wrote about why people don't write about deeper issues on there blogs. Most are about kids and work, a documentation of peoples lives. Mine has mostly been about my son and living in a new state and city and how it is affecting our lives. I am excited to be able to look back and read my posts and see how far we have come. Kind of like my online journal that I let you read, if you want. But today, I am going to do something different. I am going to talk about a deep subject that I have read a few posts about and today something clicked in my mind.

Believing in the death penalty and anti-abortion

I believe in the death penalty. I think it is right for a murderer to be executed. I also don't believe in abortion. I don't believe that an innocent baby should be murdered. Today, as I was reading a blog, I realized, these two completly opposite subjects are getting pushed together by people and they are saying people who believe in both are hypocritical. I think they are wrong.

A person who is sitting on death row, waiting to be executed has received a trial, he has had opportunities to prove his innocence beyond a shadow of a doubt. He understands why he is being executed. He understands the choices he made through his life and now he has to be punished for his wrong choices. Jesus was crucified next to two thieves. They crucified two thieves. A thief. I don't know what those thieves stole but evidently, it was bad enough to be crucified.

A baby inside a mothers womb has not been given a fair trial, he has not even seen the light of day. A baby inside a mothers womb does not realize that he doesn't get a try at life, he doesn't understand why he is being killed. He hasn't made a wrong choice.

In life, a lot of wrong choices are made. Parents first shape our wrong and right and we also look to society. Laws are made. But still we choose wrong. And punishment must follow.

A baby doesn't choose to be aborted. A mother chooses to have sex with someone which results in a pregnancy. That baby didn't choose to be created and he wouldn't choose to die. A criminal chooses to commit a crime. He probably wouldn't choose to die either, but he did have a choice to start.

One elephant...

TWO ELEPHANT!

The boy elephant that lives upstairs has returned from his sailing trip. He is a sailor. A real live sailor/elephant. And he is home. And boy elephants have bigger feet than girl elephants and they make more noise. A lot more noise. Sometimes, I wonder if the ceiling is going to fall.

But, we get back at them, ha ha ha. Sage's bedroom is right under theirs. And we let him cry for at least 10 minutes if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Ha ha ha. And they probably hear him. Ha ha ha. And when the new baby sleeps through the night. Ha ha ha. They will both be under their bedroom. Ha ha ha. (No, mom, we don't make Sage cry in the middle of the night on purpose just to get back at them.) I know, they can't help that they are a strange breed of elephant people.

Why do I do that?

Why do I check on Sage before I go to bed? I went in to check him because I put him to bed with a 102.6 degree fever. Yes, I gave him Tylenol but I just wanted to check him. His floor squeaks so I snuck over to the side of his crib and looked at him. Yep, still there. I reach for his forehead, my hand makes contact and POP goes his head and up he stands reaching for me. Bummer. I hold him and lay him back down to listen to 4 minutes of crying.

I hate waking him up. Can you imagine being woken up from a perfectly good sleep. Everything is going well and BAM someone is touching you. Then they don't even stick around.

He is only 16 months old, I feel like I still have the right to check on him before I go to bed. But, it doesn't seem worth it when he wakes up. I mean, I can turn on the monitor and listen to him breathing. Isn't that good enough? NO, I want to see him. I want to see how he is laying in his crib. Is he on his tummy or his back? Is he covered? Does he need to be? I like to watch him sleeping. Slowly, I am losing him. This is just the first of many small steps on the road to independence.

Have I told you how he likes to hold our hand now when he walks? I love it. I say, Let's go to the living room to play and he comes to me and takes my hand. He will hold my hand as we walk into a store or church. Usually, as soon as we see unfamiliar people, he wants to be picked up, but we are making progress. I love the feel of his small, chubby usually cold hand in mine, feeling his long fingers wrap around mine. He is so sweet. Today at MOPS, he didn't cry when I left him in the nursery. He was interested in the toys. That is a good and a bad feeling. I want him to be well adjusted and know that I will always come back for him, but maybe just a wimper as I walk out the door?

Do you have...

family "traditions" that you have started in your own family?

My mom used to make homemade pizza. She would make the dough and add toppings. I always thought it was so great. So, we have incorporated that into our family. I try for Friday or Saturday nights. I make the dough ahead of time so when it is time for dinner, spread sauce, sprinkle cheese and bake! So easy and yummy and for some reason, I feel like it is healthier than ordering pizza. I even make whole wheat crust!

time to pee alone during the day?

Not very often. Only if Sage is sleeping. And sometimes, he wants me to hold him!

Well, I am off to Target now that Sage is awake!

Do you ever...

have to pee so bad you can barely walk to the bathroom?

That happened to me last night. I was laying on the couch watching tv, feeling the baby move around inside me and all of the sudden my lower abdomen started to ache and gets really hard. Now, this has been happening a lot and I attribute it to the stretching of ligaments and muscle. Just another joy of being pregnant. Then I sit up and feel like ohhh my. I have got to go. I walk to the bathroom half bending over, Drew passes me in the hallway and gives me a funny look.

lay your hand on your husbands belly and try to imitate the baby movements?

I did last night. Drew thought it was funny. This occurred after he asked if it is weird having a person moving around inside of me. My answer, yes and especially because you don't know when or where you will feel the next movement. Here let me show you I said. I put my hand on his belly and pushed hard 3 times. Stop. Wait. Once. Hard. That's when he pushed me away.

ask people for money instead of gifts?

I would like to ask for money for this baby so we can put it toward the insanely priced double stroller that we love. I have only mentioned this to my mom and sister and now the rest of the internet world.

bake your own bread?

My dad does for special occasions. So I wanted to. Surprisingly, easy and oh so yummy! People are amazed when they ask how I make it. Do you have a breadmaker? No, I say, I do it by hand. Even my dad was skeptical of the kneading by hand obstacle.

Living Away From Family

We survived our first Thanksgiving away from family and it wasn't too bad. We were a little homesick but we have some awesome friends and I am used to spending Thanksgiving with friends and family so it wasn't too big of a stretch.

The hardest thing about living away from family: a babysitter. Finding someone or a couple you trust. Plus, not wanting to pay for one or really being able to afford one. Babysitting is like a business out here. I could make the same per hour babysitting here as I did at my full time job there! Sage gets to go with us a lot of places because of this reason, for example, the football game. It wasn't our first choice and we had asked some friends to watch him but they seemed aprehensive or like they had something else come up so we changed our minds and took him. No big deal, he is a great kid and we had a great time as a family. But, Drew has a fancy, schmancy dinner/dancing Christmas work party that we would really like to attend. We are on strike 2 with a sitter. I am going to ask our neighbor tonight and if that is strike 3, then we are going to have to ask someone whom we will have to pay, $10 an hour. Making a free night out, not so free. But I guess it will be better to pay someone and not have to pay for dinner! But man, do I miss our family right about now. They were always up for it and always free! I can't wait to go home for Christmas and take advantage of those facts!

Drew and I have talked about living away from family long term and how that would affect our lives. Of course, we would want to "get home" about twice a year which means those times would be our family vacations which means, no Disneyland, no camping, no Washington DC etc. Not that family isn't worth that. I just love vacations and seeing new things.

23 weeks

The first belly picture! Poor baby, with Sage we already had about one a month!

Setting up the Charlie Brown Tree

Sage helps daddy put on the lights. Drew is already teaching him the "man" jobs.
Putting on ornaments. Now it is hard to tell him do not touch!
The big finale!
It's a Charlie Brown Christmas tree!

Baby Update, Thanksgiving etc.

Weight: 154
Babies heart rate: 124

Everything is going well. I measured 24 but am 23 weeks along. I have been wearing maternity jeans for a little over a week and I try to not wear the shirts yet since most of them are huge still.

Thanksgiving was fun. It was different and we didn't stuff ourselves to oblivion like normal but we had a good time. We tried to set up our Christmas tree when we got home but our lights were all burnt out. We got an okay picture for our Christmas cards. I am hoping that they come in the mail today or tomorrow. I really need to finish the letter but am waiting for creative inspiration. Hopefully, it comes sooner than later!

Update on Sage staying dry through the night: If I put his overnight diaper on, chances are he won't leak. If Drew puts it on, chances are he will leak. I just figured this out with Drew being home for the past couple of days. So, which do I enjoy more, getting a break from putting Sage to bed or not doing as much laundry? I am going with the laundry at this moment. Ask me around 7:15.

Sage is officially ready for snow. A friend gave us some snow pants and we bought $10 boots at Wal-Mart. We are excited to get some fun pictures! He is really funny to watch walk around in the boots! Such a little man. He still isn't talking with words yet, but he babbles a lot and has a lot of influctuation. He also sings. And his dance changes with different forms of music. He bobs his head for rock and he sways back and forth for jazz. It is really funny. He will often point to the computer and bob his head. That is his way of asking for music to be put on. He has started to throw more fits lately. He will lay on the floor and scream. It is hard to know how to react to him. It seems like he always throws fits when Drew and I are getting ready to go to church. He is never happy when we are at church either. He doesn't cry the whole time or anything, he just isn't himself around people after we pick him up from the nursery. Normally, he is very social and smiley and waves at a lot of people but at church, he just gives them the cold stare.

I just noticed he is getting more teeth! He is getting some in the back of his mouth. What a big boy! He has 4 on top and 4 on bottom and on the bottom right side of his mouth he is getting 2 more! They skip a space and then 2 more have broken through.

He is especially whiny today because I had my dr. appt. He fell asleep in the car and stayed asleep in the umbrella stroller half of the time. Then he didn't sleep when we got home. Making for a grouchy Sage and a grouchy mommy!

Everything is FREE!

Sooo tired! He didn't like it when the crowds cheered- he would cry! No pic of that, too bad.
Mommy and Sage enjoying the game!
"The Game" One t-shirt read, Harvard sucks, Princeton doesn't matter, The Game!
Handsome Dan and the fam!




Except for the $32,000 per year tuition.

I am talking about Yale. Drew is studying to get his masters in architecture. Saturday was the Yale versus Harvard football game. So, we went! It was so much fun!

Free parking, free burgers, free hotdogs, free cookies, free chips, free Coke, free water, free admission!

The weather was perfect, a little chily in the shade but no complaints. We took Sage and had so much fun! It was weird being at an Ivy League football game and realizing that it is a lot like a big high school. I mean nothing seemed better than the public university that I attended. The students that attended the game were still drunk and yelled obsentities. One chant was "School on Monday!" because Harvard has school Monday and Yale doesn't. I thought, you guys go to an ivy league school and that is the best you can come up with?

I will give Yale props though. They have made a sense of community within their colleges. Everyone lives in a different college, I think there are 11. And there is a lot of pride that goes into each college. It is neat to see. I compare it to a giant Greek system except these kids are more privalaged. Drew was telling me that they will have teas with very important people so the students can network and make connections.

I should mention that we spent a small fortune on Yale gear to wear to "The Game"! But we will get our use out of it. Sage's is a 2T so, next year it better fit also!

Different

I am feeling more pregnant. I feel the baby move more, even during the day which is exciting. My hips hurt when I sleep. I look more pregnant. And my maternity jeans are not falling down as much today! So, I can be comfortable without wearing sweatpants! My size bigger jeans still fit but by the end of the day, are not very comfortable. I will definitly wear maternity jeans to Thanksgiving dinner!

What is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? Ours will be different this year. We always went to my parents city and got together with 4 other families. We have been doing that for years. Ever since I can remember. It worked in our marriage to do Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his. But this year lots of things are different. We moved half way across the country and can't get back but even more of a change, one of the families that we got together with, moved to Kansas City. My parents are going to KC, my sisters family is going with her husbands family, my brothers family is going with his wifes family and my other brother lives in NC and will be with his wifes family also. So different! Selfishly, I am glad that none of my family will be together because then I don't wonder what I am missing. The other day was my sisters birthday and she had gone to my moms house to scrapbook all day and go out to lunch with friends while her husband took care of the kids. But they were all going to have dinner together and I just felt lonely. I wish I could go to stuff like that. Maybe someday. Anyway, we are going to a friends house for Thanksgiving. It will be small, just the 2 friends, their baby daughter, his parents and us. I am used to a lot of people around for Thanksgiving. 4 original families plus the kids getting married and then adding kids. Of course, not everyone could come every year, but that was the fun, getting to catch up with someone! We announced we were pregnant there 2 years ago and then last year got to bring Sage with us! Usually, they would do a thing where we would share what we were thankful for but it was very big that year and we didn't do it so, one of the "kids" asked me when Drew and I were going to start having kids and I answered actually, this July! My sister was sitting there and was like what, what did you say. Then my niece went running to tell Grandma (whom i told that morning). It was fun.

Anyone have any fun Thanksgiving traditions? Memories?

Decisions

Nothing crucial, just trying to decide which double stroller would be the best. If I want to spend in the $500 - $600 range, Phil and Ted's Excellent Buggy would win without a doubt, but we could almost buy a new car for that price! I need to decide which is better, side by side or front and back. Everyone has a different opinion and the reasons all make complete sense. I like Phil and Ted's the best because when Sage is done riding in a stoller, it can be a single stroller very easily. I also like the sit or stand stroller but don't think Sage will be quite big/old enough for that. One of the criteria is that is be easy to take on the NYC subway system. Not that we go there a ton, but when we do, our Graco is a PAIN! Too bulky to carry. It seems like our best option is the Maclaren Twin Traveller. Most people give it a big thumbs up, but shopping with it will be difficult because of the side by side issue, stollers are hard enough to get around stores! Then I think, Graco duo glider. Huge, will it fit in our trunk? And HEAVY. So, do you understand my dilemma? Our car is a Saturn so everything will be a question of whether it fits in the trunk!

And a name! But we won't be revealing that until he is born, because we could change our minds and you already know it is a boy which narrows the name field down considerably!

I hit up an Old Navy store and got 3 packs of cute onesies for $4! That is like his whole summer wardrobe!

Any ideas on the double stroller, I would be glad to hear!

What do you do all day?

Today is a day where I try to figure out what to do all day with Sage and myself. We went to church as a family, came home, made lunch, ate lunch, cleaned up from lunch, Sage went down for a nap, I cleaned up after Drew's closet cleaning and made the bed, "rested on the couch", and now we are both up and I am wondering what to do for the rest of the day. I try to take one day a week where I only do normal cleaning things like dishes. And I try to make that day Sunday but I get so bored since Drew is typically not around. Sage is currently eating a snack while I blog. And I would like to go someplace but that usually involves spending money and that isn't the best idea either. I thought about walking to see Drew but he is working on a group project so if we walked there, we would walk right back without really seeing him. So we have almost 4 1/2 hours until bed time and nothing constructive to do.

What is it like to have a "normal" family life? And what is "normal"? I think of normal as being a mom and dad and kids and the dad has a job working 40 to 50 hours per week and the mom stays home and takes care of the kids. I totally realize that this is not "normal" but it is the normal that I want for my family. But our "normal" is the mom stays home and takes care of the kids and all household duties minus taking the garbage out and the dad is in school. He goes to school by 7 in the morning and comes home around 6 for dinner and goes back to school around 8, after Sage is in bed. Fridays, he doesn't have class so he might sleep in and go to school around 10 and then it depends on what is going on in school if he will come home for dinner and go back or stay home. Usually, he stays home. Saturdays, he tries to go to school early again to get a head start and then come home for dinner around 6 and sometimes go back and sometimes stay home. Sundays, we sleep in (kind of), go to church at 10, come home, eat lunch and he is back to school until the wee hours of the night, usually midnight but a lot of times later. He just informed me today that this week is going to be especially bad because they have a review a week from Monday. Especially bad means that he will get home much later and still have to go in at the same time. So, the way our family is affected is that when he is home from 6 to 8, he usually will take a half hour nap. This is our "normal".

Please don't think I am ripping on my husband. He is a wonderful man and a wonderful father. He hates that he is gone so much and loves to spend time with us. But by working so hard now, he hopes to make a better life for us later by being able to get a better job and better pay. I love him so much and support him in all he does and in all his dreams. I want him to be successful and to feel success in all areas of his life.

I guess, right now I get lonely. We don't have family around that we can go visit and we don't have a ton of friends. And it is the same dilemma I face every weekend, people with families and jobs are home on the weekends and want to spend time with their families, not their wives frineds and kids.

Is it bad that we are listening to Christmas music already? And I want to start a countdown of when we leave to visit family? Today is the 13th, we leave the 17th. Okay, maybe I should wait until it is at least one month.

Pregnancy update: 21 weeks I feel the baby move now but not a ton. Mostly when I am laying down. And I am not wearing maternity clothes yet, well some shirts because they are longer but I have always had that problem. But not my jeans yet. I have tried, don't get me wrong, they are just too big and I am constantly pulling them up and I have a major saggy butt when I stand up after sitting. And I noticed yesterday that I have some braxton hics. Usually when I wake up in the morning or after a nap. I need to take a picture of my belly so I can post it and so that I can have it for the baby book!

Napping, Showering and Laundry!

Sage slept for 2 hours after going to Rascals Gym and 2 hours yesterday afternoon. The thing both days had in common was that he slept in the car for about 10 minutes in the morning and then went down for a nap about 1. Today, no car ride so we will see if his nap lasts as long.

Drew and I went on a date last night! Our friends watched Sage at their house and even put him to bed successfully in a pack-n-play! We ate at Arby's because we were trying to catch a movie. We saw the movie about Edward Murrow. It was interesting and we both really liked the black and white effect. Then we went to Starbucks and got hot chocolate. It was so nice to hang out with Drew and really be able to talk instead of having an interruption to tell Sage to do something or stop doing something.

This morning was kind of lazy. I did a load of laundry and showered and that is about it. Drew got sick during the night so hung out at home this morning instead of going to studio to work. Again, so nice to have him around even if we were both kind of doing our own thing. Sage went into the bathroom while Drew was showering and acted like he wanted to get in so Drew agreed. He screamed and screamed hating the shower. I washed him while Drew held him and then took him out, but I did get one picture!

And Sage helps me with the laundry and Drew got the pics and a movie to prove it! It is so cute!

And apparently, I haven't figured out how to put the pictures where I want them yet! The laundry pictures go from the bottom up.

Rascals Gym

Sage and I went to a gym class this morning. We went for free since we were trying it out. We both had a lot of fun! And I learned how coordinated Sage is! He climbed up ladders and bounced on a trampoline holding onto a bar, both things I didn't think he would be able to do. I also let him hang by himself from a bar and I would catch him while he dropped although I missed the last time because he dropped so quickly! Oops. There was a giant mat to soften his fall and he didn't even cry! He was not impressed with circle time. It was kind of a beginning and ending time with some songs and "stretches". He was more into running around and playing.

I would like to join for the cold winter month but it will have to be a discussion since it is kind of pricey although I heard that it is one of the cheaper kids gyms. Tomorrow morning, we are going to tour the YMCA and look into membership and swimming lessons.

And I have friends! I joined a Mothers and More group. I found it on the internet and there is a local chapter just starting so I decided to check it out. I have been to 3 events and then this girl invited me for this morning and to go to a museaum this afternoon! And we went to McDonalds for lunch! It is fun to have friends with kids about the same age so we can do things together!

I need to get some stuff done while Sage naps, he was exhausted!

So sweet

Sage is the sweetest little boy. As he plays during the day, he will often come to me for a quick hug. Those hugs always brighten my day and bring a smile to my face. I hope that I never forget those sweet little hugs during the day. I am sure there will come a time when he is embarrassed to hug his mama. And much to soon for me!

This morning, after he waited patiently for me to drag myself out of bed to get him out of his crib, he signed to me that he was hungry. I asked him if he wanted milk first, he shook his head yes and started signing milk. I asked him if he wanted milk in a sippy and again he shook his head yes. This is the first morning in almost 16 months of life that he hasn't nursed or taken a bottle first thing in the morning. My little boy is growing up! The night time bottle is a different story. I don't think I am ready to give that up. It is such a sweet time to cuddle with him.

I sometimes wish that we had gotten Sage used to sleeping in our bed. I long for the time when he wants to come jump in our bed with us. Right now, he sees it as play time. And on the other hand, I am glad he is an independant sleeper. I wish I could have the best of both worlds!

Yesterday, we went to a new park. It was so nice. Sage had so much fun climbing, sliding and exploring the wood chips and sand. None was eaten, that I saw. He is so independant and doesn't care if he wanders far away from me. And he isn't intimidated by anyone. He just looks at them and sometimes waves and goes on his way. Often in the store while my back is turned, he will wave at someone. It is fun to have such a sweet boy who can bring a smile to other people.

I love Sage.

Houston, we have a climber

Sage just conquered his first chair climbing! He is so proud!

A few rants and updates

So, we moved to CT in May. Here are the things that I have a hard time getting used to and frankly, don't really like. In no particular order.

1. Bad Drivers!!!! CT is full of bad drivers! They must teach bad driving 101 instead of drivers education like the rest of the country. Lane markers are a suggestion and if you feel the need to cross over, go ahead. The car in that lane will move, don't worry. Streets are narrow and usually one way with parking on both sides but feel free to stop in the middle of the lane and put your flashers on to let someone in or out of your vehicle or sometimes just to chat with someone on the sidewalk. On a side note, honking at someone is like saying get going, helll-llo green light for .5 seconds now or i am going through this yellow more like red light so you better stay where you are.

2. Pedestrians and Bikers. They will walk out or ride out in front of any moving vehicle if they are within 5 feet of a crosswalk. The crosswalk will stay stop but they know that vehicles will stop for them. So, I sit at a red light waiting to turn right (no right turn on red) and when the light turns green if you don't gun it and get out there, you will sit through the green light waiting for the pedestrians to get out of the way!

3. Babysitters. We had our second paid babysitter for Sage this week. The first was in Iowa and I paid the highschool babysitter $2 per hour to watch Sage. She was also watching his cousins so she made out with $6 an hour. I asked our sitter how much she usually gets and I was expecting $5 - $7 an hour. She said $8 - $10!!!!!!! No freakin way! She is in college and I was ready to pay a college girl more, but $8 - $10!!!!!?????

4. Seagulls and fish smell. I can't get used to hearing and seeing Seagulls when I walk out of Target. And the fishy sea smell is right outside my door! It is just weird, nothing wrong with it.

Updates

Today we went to NYC to see the Statue of Liberty. This summer, we just saw it from Battery Park but didn't want to wait in the lines. Today, it was the only thing on our list. We took the ferry from Battery Park and walked around the Statue. Pretty impressive. Thanks France! Sage was so tired and crabby. I was holding him on the ferry and he was so crabby. Drew was happily taking pictures (he did offer to switch- sweet husband of mine) but I declined. As soon as we got off the ferry and put Sage in his stroller, he was out. It was amazing. Not a minute after being in his stroller. We got off at Ellis Island but then got right back on the ferry, I was starving and Drew was really wanting to go to Gray Papaya for hot dogs and papaya juice. Going to the Statue was a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of waiting. We got there at 9:30 and got to Liberty Island at 11, walked around for an hour and then waited for the ferry to take us to Ellis Island. I would have liked to walk around more at Ellis Island but my belly was growling! I would imagine that some friends will want to do this again so maybe we will tag along and see it more in depth. We got back to Battery Park about 1 and got on the Subway and made our way to Gray Papaya and surprisingly, I like the papaya juice and the hot dogs but Sage loved the papaya juice! He was slurping it down! We also went to McDonalds because Sage wasn't biting the hot dog very well and they were a in and out, no sit down kind of place to eat. Anyway, I also really needed to change Sage's diaper and was surprised when there was no changing table. So, I laid back the stroller seat and changed him in the womens bathroom while he proceeded to scream and thrash about the entire time. He is not usually like this during diaper changes but I had to take away the papaya juice to change his diaper and he was not happy about that at all. We fed him half the cheeseburger and then walked to Washington Park where he finished his burger while Drew went to get us Chipotle (yea!). And then we let him play/walk around for awhile. I have never seen so many $700 strollers (Bugaboo Frog) in one place before! I felt cheap and like a bad mama for pushing my son in his $100 Graco. That was our day. We made it home for dinner, Sage is in bed, dishes are done, and Drew is back at studio. And I am off to soak in the tub and call my mom and thank her for the calendar she sent me!

I h-e-a-r-t NYC!

Halloween?

Drew was busy with school so I took Sage to a church fall festival party. He could have cared less that we were there. He was so happy walking around, picking up leaves and bottle caps and didn't care about anything else. We went through McDonalds for dinner and went to my friend, Jenna's house to eat and hang out since her husband was working late. We stayed too late and Sage was exhausted when we got home. Maybe that had something to do with no nap yesterday?! Surprise, surprise! I put him right to bed and picked up the house and did the dishes and went to bed myself. Drew crawled in around quarter to three!

Sage has slept through the night the past 2 nights! When Drew got home last night we heard Sage jumping in his crib through the monitor. We wonder if he is awake and jumping and then laying down and going back to sleep or if he is sleep jumping. If he is sleep jumping, that makes me a little scared to have him move to a big bed. Speaking of moving him to a big bed, should I do that before the baby is born? I am planning on having the baby sleep in the pack-n-play in our room for the first couple of months and then having them share a room. Would it be better to have Sage out of the crib and into a big bed before the baby comes and just leave the crib up in his room for when they share? I found a twin bed at Ikea today that I really like. It is only $109 and it is low to the ground, although I would still get one of those rails.

Enjoy the pics!

Bloginality

My bloginality personality is ISTJ. Unfortunatly, I don't get how to copy the link so that you can click on it and go see what yours is! www.bloginality.love-productions.com

Go there and see what you are!

Appointment

Weight: 149
Babies Heartbeat: 120

I gained 2 lbs. in the last month. That gives me hope that I won't gain as much this time as I did with Sage (40 lbs.). But I am skeptical also because I remember putting more weight on in the second trimester so I guess next visit will be an indicator. I am definitly not eating healthier!

Sage slept through the night last night! But today, I didn't give him a morning nap and now his afternoon nap, he has been yelling for 15 minutes now. I am not too hopeful for an afternoon nap. On the way to my appointment, he fell asleep in the car for about 5 minutes and I was hoping he wouldn't consider that his nap, but....

Drew is busy with school again this week. He has a big project for Wed. and then a 15 page paper due next week. He isn't even going to come home for dinner tonight and that is very unusual.

Sage and I are going to a Fall Festival party through church tonight. I am going to help and hand out candy or something, I don't remember. At least we have something to do since we won't look forward to Drew coming home.

I will try to post Halloween pics tomorrow!

Correction and Admittal

Correction: Yesterday, Sage did not sleep in the afternoon. Bed time, he whined for 30 minutes, cried hard for five and fell asleep. I was up at 3 with him after letting him cry for 10 minutes then going in and comforting him and he cried for 10 more minutes. Have I ever mentioned that 10 minutes of crying is magical for Sage. If he cries for more than 10 minutes, chances are he isn't stopping but usually, right at 10 minutes he will stop. It is so weird and it is always at 8 minutes that I have to tell myself to be strong, give him 2 more minutes, it just might work.

Admittal: Did I mention the new noise machine that I had bought for Sage and set on the wind setting during all naps and bedtime instead of the fan? Today, we came home from church (a 5 minute drive) and Sage was cashed in the car, Drew got him out, he was asleep in his shoulder, I came in turned on said noise machine and Drew laid him down, Sage stood up and cried. We were perplexed. How could he be so tired and be so asleep and then so instantly awake. Drew went in to comfort him and immediatly Sage was asleep on his shoulder. Laid him down and was immediatly standing and screaming. A few more minutes passes and I say hey lets try turning off the noise machine. Drew goes in and turns it off and comforts, a few minutes of crying and then SILENCE for an hour and a half! Amazing! Now, I feel awful for having played said noise machine in the first place. But, we are crossing our fingers and hoping that we can continue the sleeping in silence. Crazy idea.

Now, to get through these night wakings... and have I mentioned my new idea to keep him dry at night? I use size 5 Huggies Overnights on him and then put a washable diaper on top of that. It worked last night so I hope it continues to work. Plan B is to buy every brand of diaper on the market and go with the one that works at night! I'll evaluate each brand if it works overnight or not. Exciting reading!

Can we get some sleep here?

Yesterday, Sage took 0 naps. 0. Big. Fat. 0. And last night he woke up twice. Once at 2:15 and then at 5:15. I didn't let him cry it out because when we put him to bed he seemed to be getting a cold. At 2:15, I gave him more Tylenot Cough and Cold and a bottle and change the diaper. I thought we were golden until at least 7. 5:15am he starts crying, I give him 10 minutes no settling back down. I change his diaper again and then think, fine another bottle but only 4oz this time. He downs the 4 oz and is mad that the bottle is empty, fine another 4 oz. He signs all done, I lay him down, he cries for 5 minutes. It is 5:50am by this time. Elephant girl gets up above us. I hear her walking around her room and then get in the shower. 6:30, Sage starts crying. I get up all pissy because Drew hasn't helped yet. I pray for patience with Sage and mess with him until 7:50. I got him back to sleep twice but as soon as I lay him down, he stands up in his crib and cries. So frustrating. I have been awake since 5:15 and had trouble sleeping between 3 and 5:15 anyway. I go back to our room, Sage is still crying and has been since 7:28 when I laid him down. Drew and I talk, he says I need to ask for help because he knows that I want to let Sage cry for a little bit and he doesn't know how long etc. I say he can at least let me know he is willing and awake and ask what we are going to do. That is settled and I had prayed about my attitude while rocking Sage sitting on the floor of his room. (If I go to the LR and sit in the comfy black leather rocking recliner, he gets mad and tugs on my shoulders to stand up) And I needed a lot of prayer! Drew got up with him and let me sleep 2 more hours! Sage cried for an hour and a half while not sleeping during his morning nap. Maybe I should just give up on the morning nap. I guess it is possible it is time for him to drop that. So, when do I shower?

On a happy note, he did fall asleep for his afternoon nap! I pray tonight goes better. He has been coughing and sneezing today also. And I am just tired.

Getting things done

Yesterday, Sage and I stayed home and cleaned the apartment. I got a lot done and I feel like I have gotten a lot done today. We went to Baby Catalog Outlet store and Sage and I tried all the double strollers that I wanted! He was so good getting put from one to another and me trying the car seat in the stroller. It made him happy to hold my purse and chew the strap. Kate Spade is good for something! I am still in a quandry about which one to get. I have heard not to get the side by side because you can't fit in any stores. I have heard not to get a front and back seater because they are hard to push and you can't see the front child. And price plays a large factor in my decision making process. I found one that I really like but it is a brand that is unknown to me. Compass. It is an umbrella style front and back seater and weighs only 23lbs. I want see it folded up because it also needs to fit in my trunk and leave room for other things. Like what if we want to go on a trip and take the stroller and we have luggage and 2 kids in car seats makes things a bit tight in our small Saturn. I couldn't fold it because of lack of hands. Drew, Sage and I will go back sometime. Price is great at $160. The Graco Duoglider comes in at $180 and was a lot longer and the weight isn't listed which probably means HEAVY! Side by sides, the clear winner would be the Mclaren twin traveler at, hold your breath people, $299 and that is the cheapest I have heard. But it seems like there is not enough room for Sage's shoulders and he is only going to get bigger. Funny because I have seen these out and about and never thought that the kids looked scrunched in them and Sage isn't huge, a little above average but not much.

Sage isn't taking morning naps anymore. He talks, cries, whines the whole time he is in there. Today was the third day like that. Afternoon naps aren't going much better. An hour at best and this afternoon is looking like nil. I thought he was asleep but he just started crying again. What is the deal?! Frustrating because I need time to myself and if he doesn't sleep, he is going to be grouchy! Mostly because of the grouchy factor. Part of this nap problem might be because I didn't turn on the fan in his room. I bought a noise machine and turned the wind noise on. I am hoping this works because it is just too cold to run his fan. He also wakes up at night, probably because he is cold. Now that we don't run air conditioners in our rooms, I am starting to notice how much you can hear in this apartment. Everything. A human elephant lives upstairs. No joke. I don't know how much louder one person can walk! I think she wakes up Sage in the morning like right before 7. I think that because he wakes up crying and he was waking up and just talking to himself and playing with his aquarium.

Too many random things. This post probably only makes sense to me.

Getting Bigger!

Sage, not my belly. We went to his 15 month check-up this morning and he weighed in at 25 lbs 9 oz and was 32 and 3/8 inches tall! 75th percentile for weight and 60th for height. Exactly the same as last time so he is growing perfectly! He got two shots but only whined through them didn't really full out cry. He isn't really talking yet and the doctor didn't seem too worried but said if he isn't talking by 18 months, we should have him evaluated. He does say dada consistently and he was saying ball but he hasn't said that in a while. Sometimes it sounds like he is trying to imitate us when we say all done. He does hear and understand because if we say "do you want to take a bath?" He walks to the bathroom and he usually follows me if I say "Sage, follow mommy". And he can point to his foor and nose and sometimes he will get mouth and head too. But he won't do it all the time.

Can I get a day off? I mean a day where I don't have to cook, clean, wash dishes, do the laundry, or be responsible for someone else. This mom thing is a super full time job with little breaks. And sometimes, I just want to pee without saying no, don't unroll the toilet paper.

I'm tired today. Sage woke up around 3 but I decided to give him 10 minutes to go back to sleep by himself and he did! He wasn't crying like he was scared or a hard cry just kind of yelling. Normally, I would have gotten him right away and given him some milk but I really want to break that habit. It is bad for his teeth and he doesn't need those extra calories in the middle of the night. And I really don't want him getting up in the middle of the night. I really don't think I can handle getting up with 2 kids! Anyway, I am tired because I had such a hard time falling asleep and then falling back asleep after Sage woke up. Partly because I was sure he would wake up and cry out again. So, it kind of felt like I just laid there until 5 when Drew's alarm went off. And then I went back to sleep until 7:30, laid there until 10 to 8 when I decided to shower for the day before Sage got up since he had his dr. appt.

Well, I need to do something productive, like pay bills!

It's a....

BOY!

So, I was totally wrong. I have been wrong with both babies so far so next time I will know it is the opposite of whatever I think it is! I have to admit to a little disappointment. But later as I thought about it, I reminded myself that he looks healthy and all his parts are in place and that is the most important thing. I could have been coming home from that appointment because they saw a potential problem. I should have been coming home rejoicing that he looks healthy, is on track developmentally and icing on the cake should have been that they were able to see the sex and now I will have two boys!

I had to change my attitude and my way of thinking. I have to do that a lot! And I will be returning all the baby girl clothes I bought! I will have to look through Sage's stuff and see what sizes and seasons I need to fill in.

Now, we have the difficulty of deciding on a name. We had such a hard time with Sage. I don't ask for peoples opinions because frankly, I don't care. It is my kid and you won't say one mean thing about his name after he is here but you might before he is born.

Sage is in a wierd stage of sometimes needing a morning nap and sometimes not. Today I laid him down at 9 and he still isn't asleep at 10. He isn't crying more just whining, yelling sometimes. Crazy kid.

Random clothing thoughts: I have discovered why I dont' like my clothes. It is because I buy cheap clothes. I look at cute shirts for $20 and then see long sleeve t-shirts that are 2 for $20 and will buy those. Therefore, I don't have that many dress up clothes and always look/feel like a slob. And having been nursing/pregnant, that makes me buy cheap clothes because I know that it is only a phase and if I am not nursing at this time next year, I will need a smaller size. It is such a hard place to be in life! Hopefully, someday, we will have some money that I can buy decent clothes and will be done with childbearing and can buy clothes that will last more than 2 years!

I'm so bad

I bought some baby girl clothes. I know, I know, we don't know what we are having yet but I was at Baby Gap outlet (25 minutes away and only because I had driven a friend to a counseling session and had to kill time) and the deals were unbelievable! The most expensive thing that I bought was $5.97 and I know from working at the Gap that when things are priced at .97, they aren't getting any cheaper. And I got onesie shirts for $1.97 and matching pants for $3.97 and now, I am bidding on girl clothes on ebay. I am so bad! I am probably jinxing myself and for sure we are having a boy! Oh, well.

What is the deal with pregnant women not wanting to wear maternity clothes? I am 18 weeks, about 4 months along and want to wear my maternity jeans because they are more comfortable. No buttons digging into my stomach, no pants falling so low that I am always hiking them up... So I gave in and wore them to a MOPS meeting. Then I felt dumb because 1) I am not that big yet and 2) there were 2 other preggers there, farther along than me and not wearing maternity clothes yet. So, today I went back to my jeans that are a size too big normally but they fall low and I constantly am jacking them back up. Drew, Sage and I went to run errands and it is raining and they got so wet that I had to change into comfy sweats when we got home. My point of this rambling is why do pregnant women, who would be more comfortable and look pregnant instead of a little bit large, not wear maternity clothes?!

Mother

What does being a mother mean to you? Being a mother means to me being a person who is a caregiver, who is there emotionally, physically, spiritually, politically for her children, being a person who is dedicated to raising a child, teaching them right from wrong, offering unconditional love, being a living example and a friend. These are not easy things. These are not things that come naturally. Love, that is the easy part. The first time you see your newborn baby you fall in love faster and harder than you ever have before. I don't have to work at loving my son, it just happens, every minute of every day. But the other stuff, I have to work at. He is now at an age where he needs discipine. I don't want to discipline him. It is hard and no fun. But, if I don't teach him not to touch the oven because it is hot, who will? Or worse, he will find out on his own and end up hurt. I am not a compassionate person but I need to show compassion towards Sage. When he hurts himself or is sick, I need to show him that I love him by how I care for him. I didn't love cleaning up his puke, in fact, it made me puke! But I would never let him sleep in a bed with puke in it!

Spirituality is hard. I believe in Jesus. I believe he died for my sins, was buried and rose again! Hallelugah! But teaching Sage that God commands us to obey and love him is hard. I am reading a book Everyday Talk that helps me learn how to teach Sage about God and His love for us. It has taught me that the things that I talk about everyday with my kids when I mean to and more when I don't, mean to be talking to them, those are the things they are going to learn from me. I want my kids to learn the importance of the Bible, it is God's Word given to us to guide us through life. I want them to know that I always look to the Bible for answers. I always look to see what God says on a certain subject. I want them to hear me praising God. I want them to hear me talking good of other people. It sure makes me think twice when I call another driver stupid!

I think being a mother is the hardest job in the world. Harder than being the President of the United States! If we don't raise our kids well... what is going to happen to the world?

Don't know...

I don't know what to do with Sage when I lay him down for his nap, he talks to himself for 30 minutes and then cries for an hour. I just gave him a bottle (yes, in the middle of the day!) to see if that would calm him down. It doesn't seem to have done any magic trick. I know he needs a nap. Or by the time dinner comes around, there will be a complete meltdown.

I don't know what to do with Sage when I am trying to fix dinner and he holds onto my legs and cries to be picked up. Distracting him with toys doesn't work, not even his own cupboard in the kitchen works! This doesn't happen all the time, just the last two nights in particular. And Drew isn't home yet because I am trying to have dinner ready when he gets home or a few minutes after so that he can get back to school as quickly as possible. (Midterms this week - should be better after tomorrow.) But I do like to have dinner mostly ready so that we have as much family time as we can before Sage goes to bed.

I bought a gallon of milk yesterday at the grocery store. Drew started to drink it for dinner. And said yuck. He checked the expiration, it read Oct. 3! Why is it on the shelves?! I will now be checking my expiration dates on my milk.

I put Sage's new slippers on him this morning and he was pretty fascinated. I told him they are slippers. Later, I asked him if he showed Daddy his new slippers and he lifted up his foot and pointed! This morning, I wanted him to stay in the living room with me while I read the Bible so I put the gate up. After I was done, I was sitting in my chair and said "Okay, Sage now we can leave the living room." Before I got up or anything, he walked over to the gate and waited for me to move it! I am amazed at how smart he is!

Well, he is still crying so my bottle trick was a no go. I guess I won't try that again. I guess we will go to plan b, no ironing for me and we'll just go to Target instead!

Our Family

I thought I would post a picture of our family. This was taken in June, so a little old. And yes, I have gum in my mouth.

Why is it when I finally decide to do something other than cleaning or blogging during Sage's nap, he cries for an hour and a half? Yesterday, I decided to work on his baby album while he slept. I got three pages done and was irritated the entire time because he wouldn't go to sleep. He was so tired. Maybe I waited too long to lay him down. I don't know but the rest of the day was miserable for both of us. My patience was low to start the day and then he doesn't nap and then he is whiny and wants to be picked up and put down the rest of the day. I became the mother I don't want to become. He would be naughty and open a cupboard and I would yell at him. Yell. Don't like that. Don't want to become that. And it didn't work anyway.

It has been raining here since Saturday. We have already been to the mall once this week for lunch but we are going again. There is a little playland that he likes to walk around in and sit in the car. It boils down to me needing to leave the house. The one friend that I have here is in Texas, visiting family so I haven't gotten out too much this week. Monday and Tuesday I stayed busy, Wednesday we were low key because I was worried he would puke again and yesterday was normal but we never left the house. Probably why we were both grouchy when Drew got home.

I watched Beauty Shop last night. Pretty dumb. I thought it would be funny but it just wasn't. Last week I watched Fever Pitch and laughed a lot. It was pretty funny. I tend to watch more movies now that we have Netflix and Drew is rarely home in the evenings.

Well, this was pretty random and boring. Sorry about that. Anyone have ideas for what we should wear for our first family portrait? Something classy but that doesn't scream Christmas. Maybe black shirts and jeans? But Sage and I are pretty pale. I already ruled out white because of that. Definitly a solid color. Maybe I will go to Old Navy and find something matching.

A small rant

S and I went to the mall yesterday to get a baby gift. Anyway, they have this nice new parking garage and they have 4 reserved spaces for patrons who are expecting and who have stollers. I happen to fall into both categories so I gladly parked there. When I was leaving, a man pulled into one of said spots (with no car seat to be seen) and parked there. I am pretty sure that he wasn't expecting either. It really bugs me that people who clearly have no business parking there park! I mean people like me have to go to a lot of work to get to the mall (this happens at the grocery store too) and am so thankful for a close parking spot. Where do they get off just jumping out of there car and worrying about no one but themselves. I get out of the car, pop the trunk, set up the stroller, close the trunk, get the diaper bag and my purse into the stroller basket, get S unhooked from his car seat and strapped into the stroller all the while trying to remember where I put my keys so I don't lock them in the car! And I have to remember to lock all the doors that I have unlocked. (Cheap car- don't ask)

So, yesterday I made lasagna for dinner and we had a friend over for dinner whose wife is out of town. S eats normally and eats well and then starts acting really tired and kind of cranky. I put him in the tub and give him his bottle and then go to lay him down in his dark room, when he pukes. I turn the light on and he pukes again. D has already left to go back to school to work so I grab my phone and call him to come back. I get S out of his pukey pajamas and start to clean the sheet out. My sister had told me you have to clean out the chunks, they don't magically disappear in the washer! So, as I am cleaning out the sheet, I start puking in the kitchen sink! D walks in the midst of this, hands me the dish washer tub and sends me to the bathroom because the sink is backing up. So gross. He deals with the sink then bleaches the heck out of it. I put clean jammies on S and we put clean sheets on his bed. Dishes need to be washed and a load of laundry needs to be started. D washes the dishes as I rock S. I start the laundry when D is done with the dishes. Remember our portable washer hooks up to the kitchen sink? We get all that done and I keep rocking S and at 9 decide to lay him down again. I have tried and failed previously. He cries for 10 minutes but he was acting fine. He didn't even want to be rocked, he just wanted to walk around and play. At 10:30 when I am wanting to go to bed, I go check on him and as I open the door, he stands up in his crib. So, I get him. And try to bring him to bed with me. He is having none of that. He won't even let me sit or rock. He keeps pointing and signing please. I have no idea what he wants. Finally, I give him some water and make him wait 1o minutes between drinks. At 11:11 I decide he needs to go to bed. He is playing with cars while sitting on my lap which involves dropping them where he has to wriggle around to get them and then dropping them in the same place again. He screams for 1 minute and then stops. I call D who was back at school by 9 and tell him to check him when he gets home. D gets home at 1, checks S who wakes up. D tries to comfort him and ends up giving him a couple ounces of milk to calm him down and get him to go back to sleep. He told me this in my sleepiness and I sit straight up in bed and freak out. I am like, he is going to puke again and we don't have any more sheets for his bed. (No dryer) D apologizes over and over and says he will get up in a few hours and check on him. I wake up at 4, needing to pee, so check on S who is sleeping peacefully with no puke around him. I go back to bed, S wakes up around 7 and starts talking and then falls back asleep until 8:30. I also sleep until 8:30. He is now taking a nap, and has had a piece of toast for breakfast with water. And is acting completly normal. I think I will stick with water today and bland foods.

First Picture!

Remember how Sage grabbed my glass of Diet Coke off the desk the other day? Well, now he just wants the cans. This is what he does while I make dinner.

Today was such a busy day! I did 2 loads of laundry, cleaned half the bathroom, swiffered 3/4 of the apartment, ironed 13 shirts, went to Wal-Mart, Lowes, Sam's Club and Best Buy. Needless to say, we had leftovers for dinner! And I finally figured out how to post pictures which was very easy!

I read R and kether's blog and they were talking about having the wants. I totally understand. We have been married 3 years are due with our second child in March and live in a 2 bedroom apartment. I was thinking yesterday that it is actually nice not owning a home becaues I can't paint any walls or really decorate anything which saves us money. And I can't think about it either which I know would consume a lot of my thoughts. Not that I don't get the wants. I was just trying to think about the positives of my situation. And really I have a great life. I am able to stay home with S and do things that I like to do like cleaning, running errands and sometimes cooking (okay I don't always like to do those things) but they are things that you can see are done and are easy tasks to do. More on this subject later. S needs me!

Random happenings

Sage slept unitl 9:10am this morning! It was amazing. Drew and I slept unitl 8:30. Sage was up in the night however around 3:30. I gave him a bottle and he went back to sleep. At 6, he cried out for 2 minutes and then not a peep until 9:10! And I am going to have a newborn?! Just when it is getting so good!

Yesterday morning Sage and I went to a MOPS group. It took 25 minutes to drive there but there are about 50 women signed up and about 30 were there. I saw moms who looked to be around my age but didn't get to meet them. Sage did great in the nursery and that always makes me feel good. I did get a phone number of a mom who said I should come over for lunch or something. She has a 5 month old boy. Then there was a message on me cell phone from a friend who was coming to town to go to Ikea and could I meet her. So, we jumped back in the car and went to Ikea for lunch. I never knew there Swedish meatballs were so yummy! Sage liked them too! So we had a fun day.

I have had a headache for the last 3 days but today it seems better. I am drinking a ton of water. And baths help a lot at night to help me relax and be able to fall asleep.

Sage has our old cell phone for his play phones and he will walk around all day with it up to his ear. It is so funny to watch this small child "talking" on a cell phone. And he is obsessed with the garbage. He likes to take things out and put things in.

Drew is working at studio today all day. It is a bummer. I am sick of this school thing. When can we just have a somewhat normal life?

Who wants Diet Coke?

Apparently Sage does. As I was cleaning up the floor from his lunch, he walked over to the computer, reached up and grabbed my glass of diet coke, which came spilling down on his face, back and of course all over the floor! It was pretty funny. I was bending over sweeping up the floor of crumbs and I hear this fffffiiiiiiizzzzzz and then crying. I look up to see Sage standing there with the glass still held above his head tipped over. He wasn't too happy. I don't know if the fizz got in his eye but I was laughing too hard to comfort him, which probably didn't make him happier. He lived through it. We changed his clothes and I cleaned up another mess made by Sage. I did think to put him in the pack-n-play while I cleaned so there wasn't another mess waiting for me.

So, we have this booster seat. Made by First Years. The top tray comes off for easy washability or as Sage figured out, easy dumpability. We scratched the top tray. The tray also swivels for easy one handed in and out of the child. Sage figured out that if he pushed with his feet and pulled with his hands, he can also get this tray off. So, we have now put a phone book on the seat for him to sit on and pull him up to the table for meals where he is learning to eat off a plate. Which he has figured out, is even easier to dump than the two previous trays. We are also exploring the world of self feeding with a fork. I thought fingers were messy but boy this fork does so much more! Fingers threw food onto the floor, forks mash food into tiny crumbs so they can be deposited on the floor by the fingers. For the next baby, we will buy a plastic high chair and I will read a ton of online reviews before I buy it. Moral of the story: Don't buy First Years Swivel Tray Booster Seat- it stinks!

15 weeks and 2 days

That is the official count of how far along I am. I weighed in at 147.5, up 4 pounds from last visit. The baby's heart rate was 148. My ultrasound is Monday, October 24 at 1:00pm.

I tried to lay Sage down for a nap at my friends house while I went to an appointment this afternoon but no such luck on the nap part. She said he was really good though when he was up. So his afternoon nap was 15 minutes in the car. Oh well. Win some, lose some.

I took Sage to the park yesterday and he went head first down the twisty slide. He learned it from his cousins in Iowa and had no doubts about it when we got there. It was pretty funny, especially considering last time we tried to video him going down the slide, he bonked his head on the side and didn't enjoy it so much. It is fun to watch him grow up! He loved being outside in my friend's backyard today. He just walked all around, put rocks in his mouth and was pretty dirty by the time we came in!

Too Much Bragging

Sage has woken up the past two nights. And I don't know why. The first night I tried rocking and rocking and finally gave up and got a bottle, second night I went straight to the bottle and he cried when I laid him back down. That is very unusual, before he would lay down and fall back asleep. He cried for 6 minutes. Yes, I timed it. I was giving him 10 because that is the magic number during the day. If it is longer than 10 minutes, I might as well get him because he isn't going to sleep. I hate it when he cries. It breaks my heart. I was sitting on our cold dining room floor waiting for him to fall back asleep. Maybe he is having a growth spurt. It doesn't make sense because we were gone for 2 out of 4 weeks this month and he did awesome staying in other pack n plays at strange houses and now we get back to our own comfy crib and home and he starts waking up? Maybe it is because I am not as close. I was sleeping in the same room as he was when we were away. Who knows.

He now says Dada, ball and boo. And he uses boo appropriatly! He will peek his face out from behind a chair and say boo. It is so cute!

I think I may have just felt the baby move for the first time! It didn't feel like gas, it felt different. At first I thought, what the heck and then remembered, I'm pregnant. I have a doctor appointment on Monday so will give the updates of everything then.

I love my kid!

He is so great! We rode on two airplanes yesterday and not once did he throw a fit. In fact, on the way there, he was great too. At the end of the flight everyone would always comment what a good baby he is. I had to force myself to say thank you and not I know! And on the last flight there was a little girl who screamed a lot and made Sage look even better! And just now, he came over and started to fuss a little and I asked if he wanted to go night night and he signed please. I laid him down and he didn't even peep.

Except now, 20 minutes after I laid him down, he is screaming and I went in and checked on him to make sure he wasn't poopy. He is just crying. I don't know what he wants but he needs a nap. I think I will get in the shower so I can't hear his crying. It just breaks my heart. It is so hard because I know if I get him out of bed, taking a nap is no longer an option to him. He will let me rock him for about a minute than he will want to get down to play. His cries are subsiding. Sometimes, he needs a good 10 minute cry then he conks out.

I love when he is playing and then he will walk over to me and give me a hug and go back to playing. It is so stinkin cute. He is now quiet and I want to report that was only 2 minutes of crying.

We had a fun time visiting friends and family. It was kind of a lonely breakfast this morning with just Sage and I since Drew had already gone to school. I am pretty tired from the trip. I think I am 14 or 15 weeks and baby center said my energy will be coming back but I haven't felt that yet. But I haven't thrown up in over a week!

My Grandma Mary died yesterday. She wasn't really my grandma but an adopted grandma. Her daughter and grandkids had died in a helicopter accident 20 years ago and my brother reached out to her and then our whole family kind of adopted her. I got to say good bye last Tuesday. It was so sad to see her that way but I am glad that I got to say good bye and tell her that I love her one more time.

Is this my child?

Sage has been sleeping 11 - 12 hours at night. It has been awesome! Ever since we returned from NC, he has been going to bed at 8 and getting up at7:30 and this morning was 8:15! It was like sleeping in! I am not holding my breath for it to last though. Especially since we are traveling, that means he will be up earlier. And we are going back an hour in Iowa so 7:30 to Sage will be 6:30 Iowa time.

Drew is signing up to take the GMATS to try to get into the school of management here at Yale. They have a program that if he can get in to the school, he can get his masters in business by adding one more year of school. It sounds like it will be pretty difficult to get in, so I said go for it and let's see what happens! That is what I said about Yale masters of architecture and look where it got me! I guess we will just have to wait and see. Always waiting for something.

Sage and I went to meet Drew for lunch to get a burrito from a street vendor. They are really good! They rival Chipotle and they are only $5. A guy from China approached us and invited us to a house church. He went to Russia and was saved and met his wife and now he works at Yale Hospital. It seems kind of sad to me that a foreigner came up to me and invited me to learn about Christ. Shouldn't I be doing that to other Americans or foreigners? We will probable go sometime but we will be gone for the next 2 weeks. And one of those weeks, I will get to attend Cornerstone! I am so excited! Speaking of my trip, I better go pack!

Fun Trip

Sage and I had a really fun time in North Carolina visiting my brother and his family. We left just before the hurricane and am glad that we got home safely! It was so much fun to see all the changes in my brothers life. All good changes. He plays in the worship band at their church! It was neat to see him praising God!

Sage and I leave again on Sunday. This time we are going to Iowa! We will spend some time at my sisters house in Cedar Rapids and some time at my brothers in Ames. I am so excited to see everyone! I already know it will go too fast and be hard to come home again. So, the last couple of days have been a whirlwind of laundry and cleaning. It rained all day yesterday and has been today also so i can't hang the clothes out to dry and I really need the laundry to get done so I can pack all of us. Drew will be going to Finland while we are in Iowa. The flight will be long. The first leg going to Minneapolis will be a 3 hour flight! Pray that Sage stays happy and I stay sane! He did really well flying back and forth to North Carolina. His ears didn't seem to bother him. I kept making him drink from his sippy, even when I knew it was practically empty! Then we have a 3 hour layover. It will be a long day. Any travel tips? Should I check my carseat or gate check it? Carrying it around the airport for 3 hours sounds like a pain but what do I do if they lose it? Ahhh the dilema.

Ultrasound: We had our ultrasound on Wednesday, the 14th (Happy Birthday Drew!). Everything looks good and the baby measured at 13 weeks. Which makes me happy to be almost done with the first trimester! It is such a miracle to see that tiny completly formed baby growing inside of me that I am completly oblivious to. Except for the throwing up! I am happy to report that I did not throw up at all while at Brad and Al's. I boldly predicted that the morning sickness was gone at the ultrasound and threw up my dinner that night. Typical.

I probably won't write more until we get back from Iowa!

Gettin Ready

Today I am getting Sage and I packed for our trip to NC! I think he is pretty much packed except for the stuff I have to grab tomorrow morning (blankie and sleepy bear). Why is packing for myself so much harder? Because I don't like my clothes. I never do. It doesn't matter how many clothes I have, I don't like them. They don't fit right, it is too big or too small. And now I feel larger than normal anyway. I have already pooched out a little. Guess I never got those muscles back in shape! I don't think most people notice, only if you are really looking. My clothes still fit but I dont like them anyway!

I am waiting to book a ticket to go to Iowa while Drew is in Finland. He is supposed to confirm the dates today but doesn't think the guy is working. The ticket price has already risen by $4! I am just afraid I will miss the ticket for some reason. My parents graciously offered to help pay for my ticket to Iowa. I am so grateful because I really didn't want to stay here alone for such a long period of time. I am so excited! I was telling Drew last night the things that I am going to eat while there. I am going to Hickory Park and order a Saucy Southerner with mashed potatos, no gravy and for an appetizer, cheese balls with ranch and then for dessert a Snicker sundae! All for under $10! With a cherry coke! And I might go to B-Bops too and get a cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake! I can't wait! And of course I am excited to see family and friends also!

I will probably not be posting or blog stalking for about a week. Don't miss me too much!

Life Update

About my power outage post, later I was thinking how selfish and a word that I can't think of I am. I complain about losing power for 6 hours and look at what these folks in Louisianna and Mississippi are going through. The devestation there is awful and unimaginable. My prayer is for healing for the sick and hurt and comfort for everyone.

I had my first pre-natal appointment last night. Everything looks great. I weighed in at 143.5 which was a shock because when we moved here in May, I was definitey more towards 150. I don't know when or how that weight came off. The babies heart rate was 156. My uterus size seemed to be on track for being 10 weeks along so the due date of March 25 is going to stay with us. I am going to the Womens Center at Yale for my prenatal and will be seeing a midwife but anyone who happens to be on call will deliver me. That could be a dr. or a midwife or a student dr. Different. I am glad that this is my second baby so I feel like I kind of know what is going on and what will happen and am okay with whoever delivers me.

Sage is walking more and more. Drew said yesterday at the doctor office, he was standing back up on his own. Here at home, he wants me to help him stand. He is taking about 10 wobbly steps in a row. He gets so rushed and then falls, if he keeps going slow, he does great. It is fun to see him learn!

Power Outage

We were without power yesterday evening for about 6 hours. We were out of milk for Sage so we went to the grocery store and got milk and ice to keep everything cool. My husband is so smart! Except that at 11 when the power came back on, he turned on the air conditioners in our room and Sages room and forgot to take all the fridge food of the freezer. So he gets up with Sage this morning and comes right back to our room saying we have other issues. The whole gallon of milk is completly frozen! He figured out to put it in the microwave to defrost it. It was hard falling asleep in such a warm, quiet room. Sage had a hard time too. He can hear everything from the apartment hall too and he kind of seemed scared. It is not usually that dark in his room but after some rocking and butt patting, he finally drifted off to sleep.

Yesterday, Sage and I went to Westport, CT with a friend and her baby. It is about a half hour away. She described it as some little outdoor shops. I pictured some shops you can only find in a small town with unique items. No, this was Tiffany, Pottery Barn, Gap (with a Maternity), Banana Republic, J. Crew, Mimi Maternity and tons of other stores! We spent quite a bit of time and didn't make it to more than 4 stores! So, we were in Baby Gap and Gap Maternity for a long time! But I did get to try on the jeans and decided to buy a pair! They were expensive but I think they will be worth it since I will be pregnant all during the winter months and jeans are my favorite thing to wear!

SHUT UP!

Drew found out yesterday that his studio is taking a trip...to FINLAND! I am so jealous! Everyone told us that he would only take a day trip this semester. We had planned for me to go to North Carolina to visit my brothers family while he was gone so I didn't have to stay here alone. Well, yesterday morning, we were watching the news about Hurricane Katrina and they were saying fuel prices are going to go up so airline tickets will go up. So, we get on the internet and look for tickets thinking that it doesn't really matter when Sage and I go because Drew won't really be taking a trip anyway. We book tickets for next week! Drew won't be going until the end of September and the dates aren't set! I am bummed that we will be gone at different times. I am going to call Delta and see if I can change my ticket. But the other bummer is that I was going to be in NC for my nephews birthday. I haven't ever celebrated his birthday with him. He is going to be four and we have always lived in different cities. So, I don't know what to do. Ideally, I would leave while Drew is gone too and go to Iowa. But we had only planned on one trip this fall and next semester I will be too pregnant to travel while Drew goes on a trip. And the next semester, I don't know if I will be up to flying with two babies by myself. Sage would be 2 by then so we would have to buy him a ticket anyway and could we afford two tickets?

Pregnancy update- still puking. No weight gain or body changes which is weird because with Sage everything started moving around right away but maybe this time, everything is in place and just waiting to get bigger. I didn't gain weight right away last time either but don't worry, made up for it later!

Elephants upstairs?

New neighbors just moved in upstairs and I think they might be some sort of human elephant breed. They look normal but they are the loudest steppers I have ever heard. This morning I woke up to them at 6:58am! Ummm, my baby wasn't even awake yet. Why am I waking up before him? That is just not right.

More exciting subjects, Sage is trying more and more to walk everyday. It is so fun to see him and cheer him on. We have to be careful and only encourage him when he is walking because if we clap when he falls he thinks falling is cool and he will stand and then fall and laugh. His foot has straightened out. Of course, right after I ask people and get all paranoid.

The weather is finally beautiful. It has been in the 70's all week. I am loving it. Except that I am still sickly so I don't always get out to enjoy it.

Drew starts school at Yale on Wed. He has had orientation this week which has been so nice because it was just in the mornings and he was home in the afternoons. I love hanging out with him and just having him around. Last night he went to Happy Hour at the A & A building (Art and Architecture). Yale provides beer and soda and it is on the roof every Friday night. Crazy. He had fun meeting his school mates. Maybe next week we can get a sitter and I can go with him!

We went to the Farmers Market this morning and got yummy peaches, apples, raspberries, corn and tomatoes! I was glad to see fruits and veggies. I hadn't been in a long time and the first couple of times that I went, they only had bread, pastries, milk and meat. But this time they were loaded with the good stuff!

Houston, we have a walker

Sage took his first steps today. He has been practicing standing for a few days and today he actually took steps! And we caught it on video! The best "run" was 5 in a row! He is so brave! We are so proud!

Getting Big!

Sage, not my pregnant belly! S is getting to be such a big boy! We have started brushing his teeth at night now. He is very good about mommy's turn and Sage's turn. For his turn, he hold the tooth brush and sucks the tooth paste and drools. I don't let it last too long! He is also starting to walk a lot better. Not by himself but at first I was worried because his left foot turned in a lot and he would trip himself. Now, he usually keeps it pretty straight and he uses his thing to push and loves to push it around the house. He can turn it now but hasn't figured out how to back it up to get unstuck out of some spots. He will help pick up his blocks too. He puts them in the bucket one by one and I cheer and he keeps repeating until they are all picked up! Then he starts to take them back out and put them in again so I will continue to cheer!

He hasn't really napped this morning but he is just talking in his bed! I just want to leave him in there! I have already got some cleaning done and now I need to eat, again.

Pregnancy update- I feel yucky most of the time but haven't thrown up in a couple of days, although there have been threats. I haven't gained any weight yet according to my scale. I also don't feel like I am eating enough. I try but nothing sounds good and I am eating just to eat so I don't feel so yucky. 9 weeks down, too many to go!

I hate puking

Not that anyone enjoys it, but I really hate it. Guess why I puked this morning? Because I was brushing my teeth and looked at the dirt on my bathroom counter. This was at like 11am when I finally showered. Maybe it is a sign that I should clean more often. Not that I didn't know that!
The other day I puked at Sam's Club. We ate pizza and then I ran to the bathroom. Luckily no one else was in there! I have puked more with this pregnancy than with S. Maybe it is a girl. I hope we get to find out.

I am having a hard time adjusting to this new situation. D keeps saying that we would have had to move anyway and that it would be hard anywhere. BUT, we would have stayed in the midwest, within driving distance of family and friends. It is really hard for me to think that I won't see family until Christmas. I will be 6 months pregnant! That seems so far away! D will have completed one semester of graduate school. I just miss my best friend. I miss seeing them everyday and playing with the boys and doing fun things with them. I want to go home. This doesn't feel like home. It feels like way too long of a vacation with no fun things happening.
Surely, it will get better.