Thursday, November 30, 2006


Me: "Sage, what are you doing?"

Sage: "Umm, pickin nose."

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Heavy Breathing

Incident relayed to me by my husband:

Drew, hearing noise coming from the boys room, sounding like Sage singing and talking to no one in particular, opens the door. The room is quiet, Sage is laying motionless in his bed. Drew walks over and says,

"Sage, no singing, talking or making noise."

Sage breathes heavily.

"Sage, if you talk, sing or make noise again, you will get in trouble."

Sage breathes heavily.

Drew stands silently, watching.

Sage's head moves slightly, his eyes slitting open, and quickly shut, more heavy breathing.

Drew covers Sage with the blanket, what he has termed 'the final test'*.

"Bankie off!"

*'the final test' refers to Sage's hatred of being covered with the blanket. He will only allow a sheet to cover him, if you violate these terms, he will let you know.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Baby vs. Puppy

Someone told me that a dog is harder than having children. Her reasoning? Because you can take kids with you everywhere you go. Hmm. A dog is easier than having a baby. After having thought about it, I wonder, should I be offended? I am a stay at home mom, to kids, a baby and a toddler. I don't have a dog, I am not a stay at home dog-carer. And would a dog be harder? I haven't owned my own dog as an adult yet. But we did have one as I grew up and I am going to say that taking care of kids, much harder than a dog. Here are my reasons.

1. A child, you have to shepherd their heart. A dog, you have to train them to pee and poop outside and not chew things.

2. A child, you have to take with you everywhere you go. It is illegal to leave them home caged up.

3. I wipe poop off their butts, enough said.

4. I make milk for them and let them suck it out of me, do you do that for your puppy?

This is just a small list, I am sure there are others that I can't think of right now. As I reread this, I am thinking, I can't believe I am even defending myself that children are harder to take care of than dogs.



I have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding. Actually, hate is too strong of a word. I usually like it, most of the time love it, especially while I am nursing. But sometimes, it hurts again, like a newborn is learning to nurse and everything has to get worked out hurt. Like he is latching wrong or lazily. And then my mind plays tricks on me like I can't leave Kolby EVER because he has to nurse and no one else can nurse him and aaaaaagggggghhhhh, too much pressure. But I love knowing that I can comfort him like no one else can. I love knowing that he is getting the best of what he needs. I love knowing that he is so chubby because of what I fed him. I love that is always with me, no bottle required to leave the house. I love the ease. I am tired of nursing him in public. He wants to look around too much and flash me to the world. I am tired of wearing nursing bras. And they are too big because I have shrunk again but I bought a new one, wrong size and the stupid company won't return a stupid email or a stupid phone call so now I have a stupid bra that doesn't stupid fit and I spent stupid money on it and the company is stupid. I am tired of always having to think about what I am wearing, where we are going and what will be easiest to nurse in and not flash the world my boob or my stretch marked stomache and side.

So, basically, I am selfish and selfishly tired of nursing and it is not all wonderful and happy. Some of it is stupid. And I am stupid and selfish. And so I must continue. I told myself that I would make it to one year, less than 4 months to go. Should I buy another stupid bra? Stupid company. Don't buy from, sure they give you free shipping but zero customer service. I should have dragged the boys to the store where they measure you and you pay more for it and you have to have an appointment but the bra would have fit. Lesson learned.

Friday, November 17, 2006

My God is so BIG!

Last Wednesday or Thursday, I can't remember, I decided that I needed to start praying that Kolby would roll over from his back to his front. It has been over a month since he got his bar off during the day and he was showing no signs of rolling over. The pediatrician said not to worry, she expected a delay because of the bar, but worry I did. So, I told God, I am worried about him not rolling and I am asking You with faith that only You can make this happen that Kolby will roll from his back to his tummy by next Friday the 19th. I wanted to ask for a specific time and something that would seem impossible to me. When Kolby would be laid down on his back, he would lay there and move his head to look around. It was like he didn't realize that the bar was off and his legs and feet could move. After I started praying Kolby started showing huge signs of improvement. He started to lift both his legs and play with his feet. Then he kind of started rolling toward his side. Last night, he was all the way on his side and just couldn't make it over. I knew God was doing this. I did however doubt God on Tuesday, I confessed it and went back to praying in faith.

This morning I laid him down on the floor while I changed Sage's diaper. And he immediatly rolled to his side and almost all the way over but got stuck on his arm, of course I started cheering, he whipped his head around and back to his back he went. I started crying because I knew today is the day. God is going to show himself to me. I asked and he is answering in a big way. After his morning nap, back to the floor he went. I didn't give him any toys but put them around him just out of his reach. He laid there and was content to just look around for about 10 minutes. Then he looked behind him, and rolled from his back to his tummy. Again, I started crying and cheering and Sage started cheering and we were yelling "Praise the Lord!" and he immediatly rolled to his back again!

Why is it that I can give total credit to God for this yet feel so silly doing so? I prayed, he answerd yes and now I feel silly that i prayed for that. It is just Satan trying to rob me of my joy in my God. My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there is nothing my God cannot do, for YOU!

Friday, November 10, 2006
LogoThere are:
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Been thinking...

Never a good sign, I know!

I have been thinking about where we are going to be this summer. You see, Drew has to do an internship. It is looking like Minneapolis is out of the running. Not for sure, but looking that way. I realized that I was looking forward to an adventure for the summer. Something different. Going somewhere. Not staying here. I am ready for a change. And that got me thinking. I have always thought that I wanted Drew to graduate, get a job, move to Minneapolis and settle. Stay there for the rest of our lives. Stay put. Put down roots. Settle. Now, I wonder if I really want that. I kind of want to move somewhere else exciting, not back to the midwest. Am I always going to feel this way? Am I ever going to want to settle? Put down roots?

I grew up in the same city, we never even moved houses. I always assumed that is how I would want my family to be. And then we moved. And I have survived and come to like it! I like living here. Sure, there are still things I miss. Like Cornerstone and food prices. But I like living here. I like walking to Trinity, the grocery store, to vote and the park. I like Pepe's pizza. I love Pepe's pizza. It will be hard only having normal chain pizza.

My answer to both questions. I don't know. I don't know where we will be this summer or when Drew graduates but I know that I am not in control and that is good for now. I pray about it and talk to God about my desires and dreams, but ultimatly, it isn't up to me and that makes me feel...peaceful, at ease, I can only pray about it and it will work out how it is supposed to. It is that easy!

Swimming Lessons

I have always said that my kids were going to take swimming lessons very young. I don't want them to be afraid of the water and I want them to know how to swim. I love swimming. I swam competitively while growing up and it is a great sport and a great life skill.

Sage has yet to take a lesson. Not for the lack of trying. It seems that lessons are either very expensive or for older children, like 4, when fear of the water has already set in. My only hope is open swims. Saturdays from 11 - 2. Already this Saturday, we have a conflict, a birthday party and next Saturday, Drew is going to be gone, so no one to watch Kolby. Frustrating.

Monday, November 06, 2006


Sage says pairplane for airplane. Tonight, Drew decided to teach him to say airplane. Now he says airpairplane.

I tried to teach him the other day that what state we live in. I told him we live in Connecticut and he said, "No, pairplane."

He now describes things as "Neat!"

Tonight, Drew was taking Sage to pick up a pizza and I stood back and said, "bye, have fun" and he ran back down the hall with his arms outstretched and said "Tiss, mama."

He gives the best kisses at bedtime. I lean down and he wraps his little arm around my head and holds my head into his lips and gives me a smack, smack, smack. And I have to pry myself away from his grasp or the smacks would continue indefinitly.

"Tornertone!" He watches a dvd from Cornerstone almost daily and then later will get his toy guitar and point to himself and say "Me, Wally." And he will sing and raise his hands in the air.

Consequently, he prays for Wally almost everyday at lunch or bedtime and sometimes both!

And he asks/tells me everday, Tornertone, Iowa?! He is looking forward to attending Cornerstone when we visit!

He is getting sassy and will talk back. One day I told him he was being sassy and right on que, he looked at me and yelled "Sassy!"

He calls yogurt, yog.

He finally added ton to but. For a long time a button was a butt!

He is learning to say "May I be excused, please?"

Bootball!!! (football) He always wants to watch bootball on tv. And he loves to sit on the touch and eat a nat. (snack)

Baball hoop. He spots them everywhere while we are driving or walking. And he makes buckets, laundry baskets, or containers into his hoops during the day. He shoots with whatever ball he finds first, even if it is a football. When he misses, he says "Ohhhh, miss!"

He will tirelessly throw a football down the hall, laugh, run and get it and throw it the other way.

He can catch! Once every fifteen times and if the ball hits him squarely in the chest, but a catch is a catch!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Ebay is stupid.

I have been using ebay for a couple of years. I like selling stuff that I don't need and buying stuff I do, or sometimes, don't need. I have had good experiences with buyers and sellers. Until I decided to buy some cloth wipes. This was an impulse buy. I looked them up and bid on the first auction because it was ending SOON and there were NO bidders! I won and then felt stupid because I paid way too much for used wipes. Which, I still haven't used. Anyway, they took ffffoooorrrreeeevvveeerrr to arrive. I actuall emailed the seller and asked when I would receive them and I had waited a while because, let's remember, I felt stupid for buying them. Bring on the sob story. Her mother in law is sick and dying. I totally get that and empathize. And I don't really care that the package is taking fffooorrreeevvveeerrr to arrive, I just want to make sure I am actually getting something that I have already paid for. Oh, I forgot to mention that right after the auction, she contacted me to see if I wanted another burp cloth, and would I pay more for that one too. Umm, no, I don't want another burp cloth, thanks, I have more than I use since Kolby has practically stopped spitting up. So, the package arrives and everything is as it should be. Does she deserve positive feedback? Not in my book. Communication on her end was not great. Remember when she contacted me and asked if I wanted to pay her more money for more of the same product I had already bought from her? She didn't mention her ailing grandmother and a slow shipping schedule. Then I didn't hear from her until after I had received the item and I noticed the date sent was the day after I had emailed. Coincidense? I doubt it. And then she was asking if I had received and could I leave positive feedback. Now, to her credit, she did offer to mail me some more burp cloths (Again, no thanks) or if I wanted, she could refund some money for shipping charges. She only offered, she put the ball in my court. I replied saying that the transaction hadn't been the best I had on ebay and thought leaving no feedback was better than leaving someone neutral. It wasn't horrible, just slow, confusing and I felt slightly lied to. I don't think she has been honest in her dealings with me. I just got a lengthy reply about the mother in law having less than a month, dealing with lawyers and I forgot the other part of the sob story, she sells things on ebay for her daughters astronimical tuition which her friend is now doing for her, bless her heart. And she mentioned that she hasn't told many fellow ebayers about her mom in law but the few she has, have been so understanding and nice (cough,cough, you haven't, jerk) So, my few readers, what do I do? Ignore it and hope it goes away? Reply and ask for a refund and offer positive feedback or stick to my guns and reply and say sorry, charlie. I mean all this for one stupid positive feedback. Go sit by your mother in law, talk to your husband and kids, there are bigger things in life than this stupid positive feedback! And that is why ebay is stupid.

But I am so addicted, this won't deter me! I wonder if anyone is selling...

Friday, November 03, 2006

I don't get it.

I don't get abortion. I don't get why it is legal. I don't get why parents would not want to know that there teenage daughter is pregnant and making a hard decision. I was reading a blog, and she wrote about Prop 85, something that is being voted on only in California, at least this particular Prop. What it boils down to is this, "it would prohibit California teens from getting an abortion until 48 hours after their parents have been notified." And I am thinking, this would be a bad thing because??? According to citymama, it would be bad because "If your daughter came to you and told you she was pregnant, perhaps you'd be supportive and try to help her figure out next steps. But think about teens that live in households with violence, rape, incest or abuse. Prop 85 puts those teens in danger. Passing Prop 85 will not instantly make their family situations better. No law can mandate family communication."

What about the families that don't have violence, rape, incest or abuse and the daughter is ashamed, scared of her parents reaction, sad, or disappointed?

And how many of the 1.3 million cases of abortion each year are because of incest or rape? "On average, women give at least 3 reasons for choosing abortion: 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about 2/3 say they cannot afford a child; and 1/2 say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner (AGI)" (

The 3 reasons that women give for choosing abortion? They can be answered with one word. Adoption.

I found my facts on Warning, it is graphic.