Tuesday, August 24, 2010

First Day of Kindergarten

The First Day
I gave you a little wink and smile
As you entered my room today.
For I know how hard it is to leave 
And know your child must stay.
You've been with him for five six years now
And have been a loving guide,
But now, alas, the time has come 
To leave him at my side.
Just know that as you drive away
And tears down your cheeks may flow
I'll love him as I would my own
And help him learn and grow.
For as a parent, I too know
How quickly the years do pass
As I remember the day it was my turn
To take my child to class.
So please put your mind at ease
And cry those tears no more
For I will love him and take him in 
When you leave him at my door.
~Author Unknown

The teacher handed me this poem as we dropped him off at her door.  I had choked back tears already and then almost did the ugly cry reading it in the van.  I didn't have time to cry, we were off to Annika's 2 week check up!  I made cookies as a special first day of school snack.

The little boy sitting across from Sage we "met" at meet the teacher.  I asked his name and he said "I don't talk very much.  I do tai kwon do.  I defend myself."  And that was that.
Because my sister asked nicely.  And she's really cute.  No, I don't know who she looks like. 

Sunday, August 22, 2010

stream of conciousness

Last week, Annika and I continued to get her heel pricked and I continued to be Queen of the Valet as Gretchen kindly named me!  Seriously, I parked valet almost everytime, and everytime, they greeted with me a big "Hello!", left my van in the circle and put my key in a special place.  It was especially helpful on Friday when I took all 4 kids by myself.  It was our first outing the five of us and it went really smoothly.

Sage starts kindergarten tomorrow!  We met his teacher and got to see his classroom.  I am so excited for him, he's so excited.  I can't believe he's going to kindergarten.  He got the teacher that I would have chosen for him.  She seems so sweet.  I'm preparing for his first week to be emotional for both of us.

Kolby gets his cast off on Tuesday!  And we'll find out the next step.  I'm excited and of course, nervous.  We've made some big decisions regarding Kolby.  We decided to not send him to preschool and Drew and I will do preschool with him at home.  I'm reallly excited about it for a number of reasons.  I think he and I will love having this time together and he will really thrive with one on one attention from me.  I pray that he and Levi will learn to love each other more and play together better.  Sometimes, they do great and sometimes, Levi is an antagonist.  We're going to take it one year at a time and see what he needs.  He'll still do some speech through the public school.

Last week, Drew's sister, Krista came to help.  She was such a help!  This week, I'm all on my own.  I can do it!

The boys have adjusted really well.  They aren't overly excited about her, but they are sweet towards her.  Does that make sense?

I need to write a post about Levi.  I start and stop in my head because to describe him in words is so hard.  He's so funny.  And so smart.  And so naughty.  And so funny.  He can buckle and unbuckle his high chair.

I can't believe Sage is starting kindergarten tomorrow!

Our house got really small, how did that happen?  And I got really anal about having clutter out, it makes me twitch.  Sage loves to clutter the top of our bookshelf because he can reach it and the other boys can't, so he puts things up there that he doesn't want them to get and it drives me crazy!

I need to stop writing.  I could go on and on. 

I will get out of the house today.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


We had picked up Drew's sister from the airport and Annika decided she was hungry.  We were still 30 minutes from home so I decided to find a parking lot and feed her.

I heard Kolby say "Drive, Mom!"

Sage responded "She can't!  She's milking!"

Sunday, August 15, 2010


I messed up last night and wrote that Titi broke my water at 9:32, it was actually 9:45 and she was born at 10:32.  I really want to remember that correctly!  

In honor of August 15th, Annika's due date,  I thought it appropriate to write out her birth story.

Last Sunday, I was feeling so great, so content to be pregnant.  Then I woke up on Monday.

I didn't feel good.  My body hurt.  And just ugh.  I had begged kindly asked a friend to take Sage for the day because we'd had a really low key weekend with Levi being sick and I knew I wasn't going to be able to take them anywhere because Levi was still sick and I wasn't sure where we could go with Kolby's cast.  It just seemed too much.

We took him to the meeting place since they had to come near our house for a dentist appointment.  I had asked if I could pack him an overnight bag "just in case".  This is a family with 4 boys, the youngest 2 being 6 and 8.  Later that day, she offered to keep him overnight and I decided that was a great idea. 

I had contractions on and off all day, but nothing really significant.  Probably about one an hour.  From 3 to 4, they started coming more frequently.  But the more I moved around, packing a bag for the other boys, picking up the house, the less I felt them.  I just felt so irritable and yucky.  I would read a blog comment about how great it was that I was so content and feel worse because I was feeling so yucky! 

Drew was working late that night.  He had a ton of work to do last week with a presentation on Tuesday morning.  I felt some pressure not to have the baby since he had so much to do.  I guarantee that was all in my head and Drew didn't put that pressure on me.

So, around 5 I started to get the feeling that these weren't really going away, maybe we should be prepared to do something about them.  I finished packing my bag, packed a bag for Kolby and Levi, and texted Drew.

I started to get irritated around 6 that Drew was still at the office and not on his way home.  I had been texting him the contractions, from 5 - 6, they were about every 10 minutesish.  Not super consistent but some bringing tears to my eyes.  Did I mention that the previous Wednesday at my appointment I was dialated to 4, probably 5?  And received instructions for what to do if we delivered in the car?  We were told not to mess around with contractions.

I called Drew and talked to him about the contractions.  He asked what I thought we should do.  I said "I think you should come home!" 

When he got home, I called the midwives to let them know what was happening.  We still needed to take our boys to a different friends house, so I told her we were probably still about an hour and 15 minutes away by the time we dropped them off and then drove back to the med center.  She seemed a little like hmm, your still an hour away?

Drew took the boys inside, I said good bye from the van, I was crying a little because of a hardish contraction.  Our friends were so sweet yelling encouragement as we gave them no instructions for our kids and took off.

As we drove towards the hospital, my contractions kept coming but kind of further apart.  I started to think we might get sent home.  Maybe laughed at.

We pulled into the valet and a wave of pain overcame me.  I told Drew I would get out in a minute.

After we got admitted, Titi, the midwife, checked me and said I was 7, probably 8.  A wave of relief overcame me and I smiled.  I was so glad she wasn't going to send us home!

We asked what she thought about breaking my water.  (Some of the midwives would be a little more hesitant and want to see what happens)  She said it's up to us.  We said, bring it!

We told her we really wanted an 8-9-10 baby, she smiled and said "Well, lets get this going!"  You have to imagine a beautiful black woman with long dread locks saying that in a British accent.  She is Nigerian British.  Her voice is incredibly smooth and calming.  

She struggled breaking my water saying I had a hard bag of waters.  I guess that was a good thing!  After she broke my water, the contractions changed dramatically.  It was 9:45 pm.  I have no idea how often they came, but they hurt, a lot.  She monitored the baby through a few of them and then let me get off the bed.

I immediately moved into a position of leaning on Drew and rocking side to side.  She was rubbing my lower back, the perfect place where it had hurt all through my pregnancy.

I moved to leaning on the bed and even squatted through a couple.  She was really encouraging and told me to think about those muscles relaxing and opening up and bringing the baby down.

She suggested getting back on the bed at one point so I climbed up.  I remember gasping and Drew asking "What's wrong?!"  I gave him a dirty look and said "It hurts!"  I was proud that was the only mean thing I said through the labor.

She checked me again and said I was complete but still at a plus station.  Here's where it might get too graphic.  She kept doing something, pulling something back(? fuzzy details, for a reason! I can't remember and it's probably a good thing!).  I just know it hurt terribly.  And I wanted her hand out of there! 

At that point, she said if I gave her two or three good pushes, I'd be done.

Then she made me turn around and face the back of the bed.  It felt worse, so I turned back around.  Later, she told me she saved me from a lot of pushing by having me do that.

It probably took 5 good pushes with me telling myself I can do it and Drew and Titi kept encouraging me that the baby was coming.  She's right there.

With one of the pushes, I felt her right there, I felt her coming and pushed harder.  There may have been some screaming involved.

I heard Titi explain to Drew that she would deliver the head and then he could catch the baby.  I heard her explain how to position his hands.  I remember wanting to open my eyes and see what was happening but I couldn't.  I had to keep pushing.

It was 10:32 pm.  47 minutes.

Drew describes catching her like catching someone who had bathed in plaster of paris.  And it was beautiful.  He laid her on my stomache and there she stayed for awhile.  Then she went over to be weighed, 8lbs. 9oz. We were surprised she was so big, our second biggest after Sage, 8lbs. 14oz. 

After she was weighed, measured (19in.) and swaddled she came back to me to be nursed for the first time.  After nursing, her blood sugar was low, so I gave her an ounce of formula by syringe.  It came right up and stayed up after the next time I nursed her.  She scored an 8 then 9 on her apgar.  

I loved the midwife that I delivered with, Titi.  She stopped the nurse from giving me an iv and she kept reassuring the nurse that she wasn't worried about my bleeding.  The nurse seemed to think it wasn't enough.

I also loved the hospital.  They were very hands off.  I even gave her first bath.  The second night, they didn't come in once, just let me take care of her as need be and get as much sleep as possible.  I enjoyed not being poked or prodded all night long.   

I'm hitting publish because I want to be done and Annika needs me again!  Sorry for any typos, I'm trying to remember everything for my sweet baby girl.

She is perfect in every way.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Saturday Thoughts

Annika's billirubin is still high.  15.0 today, down from 15.1 yesterday.  She's supposed to be in the billi bassinet as much as possible.  Right now she is sleeping on my chest which is absolute perfection.  Not as perfect was when she spit up on me after nursing, all over my clean nursing tank!  Oh well, she's worth it.

We've been to the hospital everyday since Thursday and will go back again tomorrow and probably Monday.  And yes, I 've parked valet everyday for free and they even leave my van in the circle, moving it only if needed.  In fact, yesterday, they didn't let me walk the 100 feet that they had parked it, instead having me wait for them to drive it around the circle again.  And then he folded up my stroller for me. 

And yes, they smile, wave or say hello when they see me get out.

The boys seem to be adjusting well.  Kolby and Levi are pretty enamored with her.  They ask to see her and ask about her.  Kolby likes to hold her.  Sage is more like "eh, whatever, a new baby."  He's adjusting to being a big helper as I need him to hold Levi's hand to get to our house from the van. 

I look forward to having a morning where I don't get up and get ready to go to the hospital for a heel prick.  But putting it in perspective helps, she's not in the hospital, it could be so much worse.

Physically, I'm feeling really great.  I know it is God's grace and his face shining down on me. 

Kolby got his cast changed yesterday.  He wasn't scared of the saw at all!  He laughed the entire time they used the saw.  He picked blue this week.  He'll wear it until next Tuesday when the doctor is back in town and at that appointment, the doctor will determine if he needs surgery on his foot to move a tendon.  I'm not thinking about it unless we have a need. 

And in total honesty, Kolby is having many accidents again.  Both.  It started before he got the first cast but got worse with the cast.  I'm at my witts end with this.  I kind of feel like he's playing us.  He stops getting candy and praise for doing what he needs to do and then he goes back to going in his underwear.  It's really frustrating.  We keep telling him his preschool won't let him come if he doesn't act like a big boy.  I'm really considering pulling him out.  Maybe he just isn't ready. 

If only each kid came out with an individualized instruction manual.  

Sage starts kindergarten a week from Monday.  I still need to register him.  It's on the list of things to do Monday before noon.  Along with get another billi check (most likely) and pick up Drew's sister from the airport. 

In other news: life, it just doesn't stop.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

First Day Home

We got up early and started getting ready to go back to the hospital for a simple billiribon test. 

Sage, Annika and I went, Kolby and Levi were still at a friends house. 

To make things even simpler, I parked valet. 

After we waited to be admitted for 30 minutes, the heel prick went fast. 

We paid for valet and sat down to wait.  And wait.  And wait.  And wait.  Then, we waited some more.  After 20 minutes, the valet man came up to me and asked if it was a single key or if it was on a keychain and what color is the key.

Then we waited some more.  After about 10 more minutes, I started to walk towards the valet desk, as they walked towards me. 

My key is lost.  They're going to look a little more. 

More waiting and 15 minutes later, the key is really lost. 

Arrangements are made to drive the 3 of us home, get a spare key and come back to pick up the key. 

I had seperated the van key from the rest of my keys so I had the clicker to get the infant seat. 

Drew taught me that.  Always seperate the keys.  Don't give them all the keys.  I always rolled my eyes. 

Thankfully, today, I rolled my eyes as I did it myself. 

And then, they lost my key. 

The manager thanked me for not freaking out and for seperating my keys.  She felt like they would find it by noon tomorrow.  If not, we'll take steps to replace the key.

I got two complimentary valets.

5 minutes after we drove away, she called. 

They found my key.

So, tomorrow when we go back for another billirubin test, valet or no valet?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Annika in Pictures

Moments after delivery. 

Proud Daddy

Sweet Sister

Birth Story Coming Soon...

And Pictures with Brothers (Maybe)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Annika Louise

Made Her Grand Debut 8-9-10 at 10:32pm.  

Weighing in at 8lbs. 9oz! 

19 inches long.

  Pictures coming soon.  Like when we're home from the hospital and have a faster internet connection.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

39 Week Thoughts

I can't believe I haven't met our sweet girl.  But, I'm strangely, rarely anxious about getting her out!

God's timing is perfect as he showed us this weekend when Levi came down with the flu Friday night.  If we had agreed to breaking my water last week like the midwife suggested, we would have been bringing a newborn home to a flu infested home.  I'm so glad Levi is feeling much better this evening.  He was back to his naughty self, climbing the fridge and bugging his brothers.

I'm 5cm dilated as of last Wednesday.  The midwife was willing to break my water the next morning.  But I really wanted to take Kolby to his doctor appointment.  After we got home, I kept thinking, anytime, I'm ready, maybe this weekend.  And then Levi got sick and I thought, not this weekend, please don't make me pass off a sick kid to a friend.

Tomorrow, I'm ready!  I always kind of wanted tomorrow because of the date, 08/09/10, but I didn't really think that I would keep her in this long.  Sage was born 11 days early, Kolby was born 16 days early and Levi was born 15 or 6 days early depending on which due date you go by.

I'm starting to wonder if my body will just keep dilating, but will contractions start, will my body really go into labor or will I get to 10 and then just push and there she comes!  My sister was dilated to 4 or 5 with her fourth baby, her doctor sent her to the hospital with no contractions and her baby was born 38 minutes after they broke her water.  My midwife did tell me what to do in the event we have a car birth.  I'm more nervous about giving birth at home.  The mess, and what would the boys see and do?  I'll just push that thought back to the back of my mind.

I've had my bag packed and have been driving around sitting on a towel, just in case.

Me, today. 39 Weeks.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Kolby's Casted

It felt like forever in coming and then such a non-exciting event. I've been anticipating this doctor's appointment for 2 weeks. Will I like the doctor? Will he agree with the first prognosis? I didn't sleep well at all last night. Not surprising being 9 months pregnant but worse than usual. I could tell I was anxious. I kept giving it back to God, but it kept eating at me.

He listened to my story, felt Kolby's foot for dorsiflexion, asked if I wanted to start casting today and told us to meet him in the casting room while asking Kolby what color cast he wanted.


Walking into the casting room, a flood of memories came rushing back. A little baby boy lay on one of the casting tables waiting to get his tiny blue casts removed. He didn't look like Kolby in anyway. He had dark hair and smooth chocolaty skin. But, I saw my little Bo. I saw my little white, chubby, dark haired baby. Kicking his legs a little as he waited so patiently for one of the cast men to remove his casts. His mom stroked his face, just like I used to stroke Kolby's, knowing that as soon as the saw started, there would be tears and cries, but all because we love you and want to see you walk and run someday. I choked back tears as I situated Kolby on his cast table.

Kolby immediately turned against the cast as soon as he heard the saw. He didn't want red anymore. He didn't want any color. His way of saying he didn't want a cast. I talked about how the cast will help him to be able to play football, baseball, basketball and to run fast. He protested but didn't fight.

And then we found out he gets to wear a special boot so he can walk. I was relieved we don't have to deal with crutches. When he hopped off the table, he needed a hand on each side but then he got it, it all clicked and he was hobbling around.

My own little Tiny Tim.

We have a week to talk about the saw and how it doesn't really hurt. I think we'll wait a few days to bring up that conversation. And maybe his mom won't be so emotional in the cast room next time.

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Shout It From the Rooftops!

So, my blog is close enough to a rooftop, right?


I might have cried when I got the text from Drew.  And seemingly appropriate, David Crowder was playing How He Loves on our cd player. 

We have an appointment on Friday, I am so excited to get the process started and get this show on the road!  It's been two weeks of making him wear jeans and socks, his bites have all cleared up, now we need to keep him bug bite free for 2.5 more days. 

A First

Not a first that I'm proud of like first tooth, first step, first day of kindergarten.

No, this is my first child to cut his hair with scissors.

The scene: Yesterday during rest time, while I blissfully typed that post and ate two Swiss Cake Rolls. He was supposed to be resting in my room under strict orders to not touch anything that is mommy's or daddy's. He had drawing supplies and a car. It was our first attempt at a rest in my room rather than a nap. Crucial mistake.

As I walked the stairs to get him, ready to clear my room of the Goodwill clutter, I got a bad feeling in my gut. I thought, "I hope I don't have a huge mess to clean up." And then I opened my bedroom door and smelled a mix of hairspray, baby powder and Mrs. Meyers Clean Day Surface Scrub in Lavender. My heart sunk. I noticed some hair on my bed.

Drew's clippers were strewn about the floor mixed with the white powder. My Aveda hair spray was empty.

Kolby's clothes were an incriminate white color.

At first, I thought the hair on our bed and on the floor was from the clippers box and had gotten spread around.

As I looked closer at Kolby, I realized it was his hair spread around.

After the Self Inflicted Hair Cut:

Today, After the Haircut of Shame

Monday, August 02, 2010


Today, I woke up knowing I wanted to get our floor mopped.  I knew it needed done.  It was gross.  And I have told myself that it could be the last time I mop before our baby girl gets here!

And then,  as I looked in our laundry/pantry area, I knew.  I needed to clean it out and organize it.  The boys watched, ahem, 2 hours of tv so I could accomplish both those tasks.  And I feel so good about it! 

Tomorrow, the boys bathroom will be cleaned (one of my most unfavorite jobs) and I have some bananas that need baked into some bread. 

Before this baby gets here, I feel like I need to simplify everything.  My purse seems too big.  I want something smaller and simpler.  Something like this, maybe?  Just dreaming here. 

My bedroom feels much too cluttered.  That's because it is.  It is embarrasing.  There are piles of the boys clothes that need to be put in a bin for Kolby and Levi to grow into.  There are piles that need to fnd a home until winter.  There is a pile to take to Goodwill.  And there are 2 bins of baby boy clothes that need to get tagged and ready to take to consignment. 

And our house is being painted, so there is plastic over every window.  Including the sliding door to the outside storage area of where those bins are.  We did not pick this time to paint and block ourselves out of being able to get things put away. (townhome association = usually good, not having to do the work ourselves, but not so convenient this time)

I can get those clothes bagged and read to take to Goodwill.  I think I will do that. 

Did I mention that when we sorted Levi's closet, we finally unpacked our last box from our move?  2 years ago.  And our bedroom still isn't finished and decorated?  And I already have plans to redo our kitchen?  Will it all ever get done? 

Did you read to the end?  I feel like I need to apologize for such a boring post.  Just writing what's on my mind today. 

I'm going to declutter something!