Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Today is Christmas Eve. A day we should take time to stop and think about what we are celebrating. I am celebrating the birthday of Jesus Christ.

Because Jesus was born, I will live for eternity.
Because Jesus was born, I live with joy.
Because Jesus was born, I live with grace.
Because Jesus was born, I live with peace.
Because Jesus was born, I will live for eternity.

The best part, everyone can! I am not saying life will be peaches and cream. I have trials in my life, same as everyone. But because of Jesus, I can live with joy, grace and peace. I won't always, but I can by looking to Jesus everyday and relying on Him. The one and only person who will not fail me.

In other news, we have been in MN for a week now, eating too much food and watching too many movies. Movies that I mostly slept through and didn't really care about. I slept through Bewitched and Star Wars 3. We went to see Narnia. I thought it was really good and would recommend seeing it. We leave tomorrow for IA. I am excited to see my family. Our families are so different. His is scheduled, mine is fly by the seat of your pants. And am I ready for that!

Friday, December 16, 2005

The Apprentice

Did anyone watch the finale last night?

I did and I must say that I am disappointed. Mr. Trump hired Randall. Randall was an incredibly talented man with an incredible education and work experience. A good pick. I had respected Randall through out the show and was glad to see him win. Personally, I liked Rebecca better, but they were both such great choices. But then a question was asked by Mr. Trump to Randall. Mr. Trump asked Randall if he would hire Rebecca too. Randall answered with the stupidest most selfish answer I have ever heard. He said Mr. Trump, this is The Apprentice, not the apprenti, I think there should be only one. WHAT? That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard. If that was my husband saying that on live tv, I would have been so disappointed in him. He had power in his hand to give Rebecca a job too. And he blew it. He blew it in a big way. I lost all respect for him as that one sentence rolled out of his mouth. He wanted the spotlight to himself. He didn't want to share the limelight with another incredibly talented human being. Selfish. I couldn't believe it. I went to bed sad for Rebecca and disappointed with Randall.

He had been on the same team with Rebecca, worked with her, sung her praises several times and then dismissed her.

Rebecca, sorry you aren't the apprentice. You should have a job with Mr. Trump today.

Randall, nothing to say to you.

Mr. Trump, I think you lost a great employee. It would have been neat to see you stand up to Randall and hire her anyway. Maybe you will down the road.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Merry Christmas!

Why do people not say Merry Christmas anymore and instead say Happy Holidays? I realize that there are many holidays celebrated this time of year but I celebrate Christmas. I celebrate Christ's birth to this world to save my soul and anyone else who chooses to believe in Him. When I say Merry Christmas to someone, I mean it. I mean have a Merry Christmas. Take time to think about what Christmas is, Christs birth, His coming into the world.

I don't want to wish people Happy Holidays because I am not celebrating the holidays. I am celebrating Christmas. I would not at all be offended if someone said Happy Hannikah to me because that is what they are celebrating.

I do think that Christmas is downplayed. I heard a story about Wal-Mart this year, they had a Hannikah aisle, a Kwanza aisle and a Holiday aisle. WHAT?! We can call Hannikah and Kwanza what it is but not Christmas? Sounds like discrimination to me. One woman wrote several letters and they changed the name. That is outrageous.

I am a Christian in the Biblical sense of the word. I believe that God sent his son Jesus to this world as a baby (Christmas) and that he died on a cross (Good Friday) and he rose again the third day (Easter). I celebrate and cherish these holidays. What has our culture done to these holidays? Commercialized them. Christmas is all about Santa and gifts. Easter is all about the bunny, eggs and candy. These have been turned into "me" holidays. Everything is about me and what I want and what I get. I don't want Sage to grow up with that mentality. Sure, we will talk about Santa. But I won't let him believe in him. I will never tell him Santa is real. In fact, I will probably tell him it is fine to pretend that Santa is real and is coming but we don't really believe that and if he wants a certain gift, he better tell mom or grandma, cause he'll be disappointed if he only tells Santa! And yes, we will hunt Easter eggs and he will get a basket of candy but he will know the true meaning of Easter and why it is such a special day.

I love to think about Christmas and the coming of God's son to earth. Can you imagine how excited God was that time of year? He knew that he was sending his son to earth to teach us about himself and to die for our sins. I bet he was thinking, oh, I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they figure out that I am taking away the sins of this world. And how sad he was when we crucified him 33 years later. He sent us his only son and we killed him. I realize it was many years ago, but I can imagine that if I had been alive during that time, I would have been yelling Crucify, Crucify! Why? Because I am a sinner. And I don't like to think about being a sinner. I don't like to think that I was born a sinner. But I see it in Sage already. He is a sinner. He hits other kids. He yells meanly at other kids. He doesn't come when I say come here. I didn't teach him to do these things, he just does. Why? Because he is a sinner. He needs Jesus to help him to obey and to be kind. Just like I do. Everyday, I need Jesus to help me be patient with Sage, to help me not judge others, to help me live a life that reflects the goodness of Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


We have been busy the past couple of days and I am tired! Sunday, we went to NYC to see Rockefeller Center, VanGogh drawings at the Met and see some friends who were visiting. It was a fun day with a lot of walking and for a 25 week pregnant, out of shape girl with braxton hics, made the day kind of long. But we did have fun.

Monday, I had a dr. appointment and did the glucose test. That night, we got our first professional photograph taken at Picture People. Our appointment wasn't until 8pm, so I didn't know what to expect from Sage. He did great! We haven't seen the pictures yet because we couldn't wait around for them to be developed, Sage needed to go to bed! We will go look at them tonight!

Tuesday, Sage and I met a friend at a mall about half hour away and hung out with her and her 8 month old. Then we had a playdate later in the afternoon and then I got to go hang out with some friends. It is actually a moms club and I am still getting to know everyone. But they are really nice and we will meet during the day to do stuff too and then have one night a week called moms night out. I don't usually make it to those but had fun last night.

Today, Sage and I are both still in our pajamas at noon! I love these days. We ate breakfast, I read my Bible for an hour while he destroyed the living room, I did some laundry and some cleaning and now he is happily eating leftover mac-n-cheese for lunch! This afternoon, we need to go to Target for diapers and such and then pick up Drew from work and off to the mall for a no cooking kind of day dinner at McDonalds and to view/purchase our pictures. We will probably only buy one or two because we are cheap and I don't mean poses, I mean actual pictures!

I need to finish Christmas cards tonight! And pack tomorrow and make a cheesecake for Friday morning! We will fly out, weather permitting, Saturday and Sage and I will not return until Jan. 9! We are so excited to see family and friends and be in the good ole Midwest again! And when we return, I will be in my third trimester and will have to start getting ready for the baby to come... switch Sage to a big boy bed and many small detail things!

So, I will try to blog while I am away, but, might be having too much fun or nothing to write!

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Why I blog

I blog because it is a release. I blog because I live away from family who love to know all the small details of my life, which is my son, Sage. I blog because I can reflect on things that Sage is doing, I am struggling with, things that happen to be mommy things. Why? Because I am a mommy. I am a mommy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. At this time in my life, it seems it is all I do. When do I wake up? When Sage wakes up. When do I eat? When Sage eats. Everything that I do is for my family. I make breakfast, we eat, and I clean up. I shower (sometimes) or go mall walking, or go to a playgroup. I make lunch, we eat, and I clean up. Sage takes a nap and so do I (sometimes). We might go to the grocery store or Target and then I make dinner, we eat and I clean up. In between those things, I wash a load of clothes, hang them up and put the washer away, I clean the bathroom, sweep and mop the floor, swiffer the floors and while I do those things, I listen for what Sage is doing. As I type, I listen as he crawls under the table and plays with his Thomas train. I listen as I sweep to make sure he is playing in the living room and not destroying the Christmas tree. I listen as I clean the bathroom or watch to make sure he doesn’t put his hand in any harmful chemicals. I also think. I think about what I need to do today, can I play with my son a lot or a little? Do I need to bake anything to take somewhere? Do we have enough milk, bread, and cheese? Do I need to go get anything? My thoughts and actions revolve around being a mommy. I am also pregnant and I worry. Do I pray enough for the child growing inside me? Do I think of him enough? Do I eat right so my new son can have great health?

Some of my blogs are my frustrations with my life, husband or son. Some are funny or at least I try to make them funny. I blog to brighten others day. I blog because it brightens my day.

This blog is in response to a blog I read about not wanting to read about mommy blogs. It upset me at first. But now, after blogging, I realize that for me, it doesn't matter if people read my blog, it is an outlet for me. Maybe I don't have the most creative subject matters, but it is a way for me to release feelings and opinions. As my name states this blog is about my thoughts and happenings. Some good thoughts, some bad, some good happenings, some bad. I choose to share with you, the blogging world. Sometimes, I don't share things because I don't want to offend anyone. But not offending people is not my purpose for this blog. So, from now on, I am going to be more real with you. By more real I mean tell you more of my thoughts. Not more gritty details but thoughts about life. It seems scarier to put my thoughts out for your consideration than it does the details of my day. You will judge me. And, at this moment, I don't care.

A Little, maybe a Lot Deeper

As I read one of my normal blogs of a long time friend, she wrote about why people don't write about deeper issues on there blogs. Most are about kids and work, a documentation of peoples lives. Mine has mostly been about my son and living in a new state and city and how it is affecting our lives. I am excited to be able to look back and read my posts and see how far we have come. Kind of like my online journal that I let you read, if you want. But today, I am going to do something different. I am going to talk about a deep subject that I have read a few posts about and today something clicked in my mind.

Believing in the death penalty and anti-abortion

I believe in the death penalty. I think it is right for a murderer to be executed. I also don't believe in abortion. I don't believe that an innocent baby should be murdered. Today, as I was reading a blog, I realized, these two completly opposite subjects are getting pushed together by people and they are saying people who believe in both are hypocritical. I think they are wrong.

A person who is sitting on death row, waiting to be executed has received a trial, he has had opportunities to prove his innocence beyond a shadow of a doubt. He understands why he is being executed. He understands the choices he made through his life and now he has to be punished for his wrong choices. Jesus was crucified next to two thieves. They crucified two thieves. A thief. I don't know what those thieves stole but evidently, it was bad enough to be crucified.

A baby inside a mothers womb has not been given a fair trial, he has not even seen the light of day. A baby inside a mothers womb does not realize that he doesn't get a try at life, he doesn't understand why he is being killed. He hasn't made a wrong choice.

In life, a lot of wrong choices are made. Parents first shape our wrong and right and we also look to society. Laws are made. But still we choose wrong. And punishment must follow.

A baby doesn't choose to be aborted. A mother chooses to have sex with someone which results in a pregnancy. That baby didn't choose to be created and he wouldn't choose to die. A criminal chooses to commit a crime. He probably wouldn't choose to die either, but he did have a choice to start.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

One elephant...


The boy elephant that lives upstairs has returned from his sailing trip. He is a sailor. A real live sailor/elephant. And he is home. And boy elephants have bigger feet than girl elephants and they make more noise. A lot more noise. Sometimes, I wonder if the ceiling is going to fall.

But, we get back at them, ha ha ha. Sage's bedroom is right under theirs. And we let him cry for at least 10 minutes if he wakes up in the middle of the night. Ha ha ha. And they probably hear him. Ha ha ha. And when the new baby sleeps through the night. Ha ha ha. They will both be under their bedroom. Ha ha ha. (No, mom, we don't make Sage cry in the middle of the night on purpose just to get back at them.) I know, they can't help that they are a strange breed of elephant people.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Why do I do that?

Why do I check on Sage before I go to bed? I went in to check him because I put him to bed with a 102.6 degree fever. Yes, I gave him Tylenol but I just wanted to check him. His floor squeaks so I snuck over to the side of his crib and looked at him. Yep, still there. I reach for his forehead, my hand makes contact and POP goes his head and up he stands reaching for me. Bummer. I hold him and lay him back down to listen to 4 minutes of crying.

I hate waking him up. Can you imagine being woken up from a perfectly good sleep. Everything is going well and BAM someone is touching you. Then they don't even stick around.

He is only 16 months old, I feel like I still have the right to check on him before I go to bed. But, it doesn't seem worth it when he wakes up. I mean, I can turn on the monitor and listen to him breathing. Isn't that good enough? NO, I want to see him. I want to see how he is laying in his crib. Is he on his tummy or his back? Is he covered? Does he need to be? I like to watch him sleeping. Slowly, I am losing him. This is just the first of many small steps on the road to independence.

Have I told you how he likes to hold our hand now when he walks? I love it. I say, Let's go to the living room to play and he comes to me and takes my hand. He will hold my hand as we walk into a store or church. Usually, as soon as we see unfamiliar people, he wants to be picked up, but we are making progress. I love the feel of his small, chubby usually cold hand in mine, feeling his long fingers wrap around mine. He is so sweet. Today at MOPS, he didn't cry when I left him in the nursery. He was interested in the toys. That is a good and a bad feeling. I want him to be well adjusted and know that I will always come back for him, but maybe just a wimper as I walk out the door?

Do you have...

family "traditions" that you have started in your own family?

My mom used to make homemade pizza. She would make the dough and add toppings. I always thought it was so great. So, we have incorporated that into our family. I try for Friday or Saturday nights. I make the dough ahead of time so when it is time for dinner, spread sauce, sprinkle cheese and bake! So easy and yummy and for some reason, I feel like it is healthier than ordering pizza. I even make whole wheat crust!

time to pee alone during the day?

Not very often. Only if Sage is sleeping. And sometimes, he wants me to hold him!

Well, I am off to Target now that Sage is awake!

Do you ever...

have to pee so bad you can barely walk to the bathroom?

That happened to me last night. I was laying on the couch watching tv, feeling the baby move around inside me and all of the sudden my lower abdomen started to ache and gets really hard. Now, this has been happening a lot and I attribute it to the stretching of ligaments and muscle. Just another joy of being pregnant. Then I sit up and feel like ohhh my. I have got to go. I walk to the bathroom half bending over, Drew passes me in the hallway and gives me a funny look.

lay your hand on your husbands belly and try to imitate the baby movements?

I did last night. Drew thought it was funny. This occurred after he asked if it is weird having a person moving around inside of me. My answer, yes and especially because you don't know when or where you will feel the next movement. Here let me show you I said. I put my hand on his belly and pushed hard 3 times. Stop. Wait. Once. Hard. That's when he pushed me away.

ask people for money instead of gifts?

I would like to ask for money for this baby so we can put it toward the insanely priced double stroller that we love. I have only mentioned this to my mom and sister and now the rest of the internet world.

bake your own bread?

My dad does for special occasions. So I wanted to. Surprisingly, easy and oh so yummy! People are amazed when they ask how I make it. Do you have a breadmaker? No, I say, I do it by hand. Even my dad was skeptical of the kneading by hand obstacle.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Living Away From Family

We survived our first Thanksgiving away from family and it wasn't too bad. We were a little homesick but we have some awesome friends and I am used to spending Thanksgiving with friends and family so it wasn't too big of a stretch.

The hardest thing about living away from family: a babysitter. Finding someone or a couple you trust. Plus, not wanting to pay for one or really being able to afford one. Babysitting is like a business out here. I could make the same per hour babysitting here as I did at my full time job there! Sage gets to go with us a lot of places because of this reason, for example, the football game. It wasn't our first choice and we had asked some friends to watch him but they seemed aprehensive or like they had something else come up so we changed our minds and took him. No big deal, he is a great kid and we had a great time as a family. But, Drew has a fancy, schmancy dinner/dancing Christmas work party that we would really like to attend. We are on strike 2 with a sitter. I am going to ask our neighbor tonight and if that is strike 3, then we are going to have to ask someone whom we will have to pay, $10 an hour. Making a free night out, not so free. But I guess it will be better to pay someone and not have to pay for dinner! But man, do I miss our family right about now. They were always up for it and always free! I can't wait to go home for Christmas and take advantage of those facts!

Drew and I have talked about living away from family long term and how that would affect our lives. Of course, we would want to "get home" about twice a year which means those times would be our family vacations which means, no Disneyland, no camping, no Washington DC etc. Not that family isn't worth that. I just love vacations and seeing new things.