Monday, December 29, 2008

Merry Christmas! 4 days later

I feel like I have to tell you about our Christmas. It was great. We spent our first Christmas as just our small family, no traveling. And, we really liked it.

We went to church on Christmas Eve. Next year, remind me to have cute outfits planned for all of us cause that's what most people did. And you know me, always wanting to be like everyone else. Not really, but they just looked so cute that I would really like to be that cute too. Church was good too, heehee. Really, it was fun, we sang hymns, heard a short sermon and lit our candles. Drew held one with Kolby and Sage and I held one, while I also held Levi. I tried not to be too nervous. I think Sage was more nervous than I was.

We had a yummy dinner of homemade pizza. So traditional. Then the boys opened a present from Drew's aunt and uncle. It was awesome and they love it. Then they opened matching jammies. So cute.

The boys went to bed so quickly and easily after making sure there were 3 (one from each boy) sugar cookies set out for Santa.

Then the elves went to work. We just had a few gifts to finish wrapping and stockings to stuff.

Christmas morning came bright and early, 6:30. We opened presents and were done by 8:30. Then we started constructing legos, watching movies, and playing with everything.

We went to a friends for brunch, went through a car wash and came home to do more of the same.

I made fettuccine, salad, garlic bread, and a cake for Jesus' birthday. Sage had requested a cake and then told us he didn't want to eat it for dessert. We made him eat cake. What kind of parents are we?!

I'll post pictures later. Kolby got a Cabbage Patch newborn baby, named Tristan. He is so sweet and cute with him. He sleeps with him all cuddled up, he takes him everywhere. It makes my heart happy.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Sage is at the perfect age where all the commercials stick.

Have you seen the one where the officer walks up to a car and the driver rolls down his window and all this liquid starts pouring out as the driver looks at the officer with bloodshot eyes?

Sage has.

Sunday he asked Drew "Sir, have you been drinking this evening?"

Friday, December 19, 2008


I have decided that I have lived in Texas for 7 months now, I can officially start saying ya'll. And typing it. In my posts. Thank you.

My sister in law is here this week which means help for me and getting to run errands by myself. Almost by myself, I take Levi. But, it goes a lot faster with one than with three. It has been wonderful. I've taken her places too, don't worry. We all went (minus Drew) to the Galleria which is probably the most important place in Houston to take someone. And the childrens museum. Good times, I'm sure she is convinced to move here.

I have written some thank you notes. I am beyond late in getting them written. And realized that we have zero addresses. We had them in our palm pilot. Which got misplaced when we moved. And the battery died. We finally charged it yesterday. And realized all our information has been lost. Forever.

I haven't done our Christmas card. I need to write the letter. We do have the picture to send with it. But, we don't have any addresses. So, if you get an email from me...

Question: I bought a dress for my brother in laws wedding. I got it from Ann Taylor for 19.99, normally $188. I know! It's navy blue. It looks like this. But, navy like I said. So, what shoes?! Silvery? Taupe? And the wedding is in Iowa. In January. Where it will be -400 degrees. Am I dumb? Cardigan? Silvery, gray? Help!

And that my friends, is my rambling for today.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Doesn't he look like he's having fun? This is the ride that seemed to never end...

And this was the quickest ride. One lap and yer done!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

What I've been up to

Thursday night, I went to Converge with my friend, Becca from my Bible study. We left at 6pm for a 30 minute drive and it ended up taking us 1.5 hours. Houston traffic, gotta love it.

Anyway, Converge was incredible. We missed Cece Williams, but since I'm not familiar with her music, I don't know what I missed! We got there in time for Travis Cottrell who has an amazing voice. He sang one Sunday at our church and I've been wanting his Christmas cd ever since. My mother in law just sent us some new Christmas cd's and his was one! Thanks Judy! Anyway, I so enjoyed listening to him and worshiping. Then, Beth got up to speak. And wouldn't you know, Levi decided that at 8:30, he needed to be awake after sleeping most of the day? I stood/sat out in the hallway but was still able to hear what she had to say.

Her first point was that in this Advent season, Look for Him! So many times, we miss things of Jesus because we aren't looking.

She spoke from Luke 1 about Zechariah and Elizabeth, how they were people who were obedient to God, blameless in his sight, good people but who lived with a lifetime of disappointment. Disappointed because they weren't able to have children. She talked about how disappointment can become a stronghold in our life. Disappointment that we let turn into bitterness. And then we start to doubt God. And start to believe that he is against us. She said that we have to believe that God is for us. It made me think about how Drew will say that he and I are on the same team. (I forget sometimes and think he's working on the opposite team.)

She also said that it's a blessing when what comes naturally to most, comes supernaturally to you because it gives all the glory to God.

It was a really great evening and Becca and I had good conversation and yummy Sonic tator tots on the way home.

Saturday we took the boys to Candy Cane Lane at our church. It was like a mini carnival. There were pony rides, bounce houses, mini ferris wheel, mini tea cups, mini swings, a petting zoo, cookie decorating, hot chocolate making, an ornament to make, it was really cool. The boys had a lot of fun, mostly. Kolby wants to do all the rides and is scared of nothing, Sage, not so much. He was kind of grouchy. And then fell asleep in the car at noon on the way home. There was a camel, a real, live, huge camel. I was shocked. The things our church pulls off, amazes me.

Last night was our Sunday School Christmas party. We tasted fried okra for the first time. It was okay, not great. Kind of tasteless. We got made fun of for not knowing what it was and having never tasted it before. We did a White Elephant gift exchange and the present was supposed to be worth $20. We didn't know what to bring so we picked up a $20 gift card to Goode Bar-b-Que. Next year, we won't be so generous. We came home with a Christmas flag. We had a lot of fun though.

Today was church and as we were strapping the boys in the car, my friend, Amanda calls to see if we want to meet for lunch! We took them to our favorite artery clogging deli, Sam's. We had a really fun lunch talking, laughing and getting to know them better. Sage and Kolby had fun with Jackson too. It's kind of funny to watch 3 little boys together. We had to tell them to not hit each other in the playful way little boys do and no spitting. The things that boys think are fun to do to each other!

Now that you know more than you wanted about my life, go read my brothers blog about being a square peg. He's got a great point!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Random Thoughts

-Tomorrow night I am going to Converge and I'm really excited.

-Our rocking chair squeaks and it is really annoying.

-I think our swing is dying. It doesn't keep it swinging. Kind of not the point.

-It's cold here. Yesterday was 75 and humid. Today is 40 and rainy.

-I kid you not, it is snowing here. The smallest flakes that I've ever seen but it is snow. I don't think a camera would capture the flakes.

-It captured the small flakes! The boys didn't cooperate but I got a pic of the flakes!

-Just yesterday, I was wishing it would be like this again:

(Picture of Kolby in Connecticut)
-Sage is going to play out on our deck in the snow! He's singing about how much he loves it. And how excited he is for Christmas.

-Sage talked to Santa on the phone (Drew's uncle) and told him he wants a motorcycle and a backyard to ride it in. Sad.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Presents under the tree?

We're having a discussion around these parts.

When do you put presents under the tree?

I won't tell you who votes waiting for Christmas Eve and who votes now, today!

I'm curious what you all think. I don't know if it will change my mind.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Pregnancy Brain?

How long can I blame things on pregnancy brain? Oh, I'm not pregnant so it doesn't make sense?! Right.

Then how come I've been convinced that Sage had choir practice last night and would be singing at church tonight, for weeks.

I was wrong.

We figured it out last night. At church. We thought we were taking him to choir practice.


It didn't really matter because we were also dropping Sage and Kolby off for Parents Night Out.

Sage does sing tomorrow at all 3 services. I wasn't completely losing my mind.


As requested, pictures of Levi. I am starting to call him Piglet because he snorts a lot. He snorts while crying, it's pretty funny.

He is such a sweet baby. He likes to be held but every once in a while will sleep in the swing or other various places that would not be his bed. I love holding him and slinging him but every once in a while, it is nice to be baby free.

Nights are okay. He eats about every 3 hours at night. He still sleeps a lot during the day but when he is awake is generally content to look around, in someones arms.

It is amazing how easily he fits into our family. It just seems like he has always been with us but it's only been not even 4 weeks. Life just keeps going on and he is along for the ride. Sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Changing Priorities

I wanted to do some cleaning this afternoon.

Levi had other plans.

He rather likes to be held while he sleeps.

I'm not complaining.

Just brush the crumbs off your feet on the way out the door.

Typing left handed is slow going.

He wasn't feeling the sling or the Baby Bjorn.

This might be my saviour.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Start then Stop

I have started at least three posts that I have then had to stop and go do something else, like feed the baby or change the baby or maybe take care of one of my other boys.

Church gets started, stopped and paused for me now. This morning we went to the 9:10 service because we didn't have Bible Study and church started at 9:10 and then paused at 9:30 to get to the nursing room before Levi started screaming and then stopped at 10:30 when it was over. On a side note, the nursing room is really nice, they have rocking chairs and a couch, even nursing pillows and a stool, a changing table which is stocked with everything plus little water bottles! And, the service is on a tv. Talk about supporting the nursing moms!

When my life seems to be on a start, pause or stop mode, my train of thought is out of control. I don't know what I'm supposed to say next or how to segue to the next topic. Or maybe that is the lack of sleep.

We have really enjoyed our 4 day weekend with Drew. We got out our Christmas decorations and set up our tree. The boys put on every single ornament this year. The tree looks kind of funny but cute. And since we have a Charlie Brown tree, it seems appropriate. When they were done, Drew was taking their picture in front of the tree and Sage said "Say, we did it!"

I got to shop some sales on Black Friday. We got the boys some gifts that they are going to love! And I took advantage of the Gap's sale of buy one sweater get one free for our family picture in January. I did not get up any earlier than normal and was still able to get the things that we wanted. This is the first year that I have intentionally gone shopping on Black Friday and I think it won't be the last! I took Levi with me and Drew took the boys to Lifetime. The weather was so hot and humid, I had a hard time controlling my irritability at the hotness! But today, I got to wear a sweater to church, that encouraged me. It's the little things in life.

We celebrated Thanksgiving with our own little family this year. I made a turkey breast, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, raspberry jello salad and Swedish rye bread. Sadly, I did not give myself enough time for the bread and it didn't rise and didn't work. I was very disappointed. Next time I will make it the day before. I had got a pumpkin pie for free from the grocery store so I didn't make dessert. We still haven't sliced the pumpkin pie! I made m&m cookies in the afternoon while Drew took the boys to the park.

It was different to celebrate just ourselves but good. Next time, we want to be a little more purposeful with our day. We had talked about serving dinner somewhere but thought our kids were a little too young this year, especially Levi! Maybe next year. It ended up seeming like just another day that we called Thanksgiving.

Any ideas for our Christmas day?!

Now, you're mostly caught up with us. I haven't even mentioned that my dad and sister drove from Iowa to meet Levi and pick up my mom. It was so fun to have them even for a short visit. And my dad made and brought the boys an early Christmas present, a train table! It is so nice. They love it!

And did I tell you that Levi weighed in at 8'8 last week?! He left the hospital at 7'6 and 14 days later weighed 8'8.

Have a happy Sunday!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Dear Mother

This is a cool project.

Here's mine.

Dear Mother,

I’m tired. Will I ever not be tired?

I have the new mom feeling. I just had my third baby, a boy. I know this feeling. I remember it so well. Taking the kids out of the house seems like such a huge accomplishment. Never mind the fact that I didn’t shower.

I just need one thing from the grocery store. I decide to walk, it’s just two blocks. The fresh air will do us good. I get us all dressed and in sweatshirts. We get the stroller out of the van. And take the sweatshirts back in the house. I forgot we live in Texas and it is 60 degrees and warm out.

The baby is fussing, the two year old is quiet, looking at a book and the 4 year old is talkative. I’m starting to sweat.

I decide to stop in a second hand store next to the grocery store. I want to try on a pair of jeans, second hand that cost $98. They don’t go past my thigh.

The baby is still fussing, the two year old still quiet and the 4 year old a little too rambunctious for the store owner. I take the baby out and cradle him in my arm, push the stroller and instruct the 4 year old to hang on to the stroller handle.

We haven’t made it to the grocery store yet.

We walk through the grocery store, while I give many warnings about not skipping through the store and be careful of the displays. I’m still sweating.

I find my one item after looking in the same aisle for what felt like 5 minutes. Pay for it and get out.

The baby is asleep, I put him back in the stroller and we start our walk home.

I got the wrong thing.

I’m giving myself permission to not finish folding the laundry; instead I will enjoy my newborn as he snuggles on my chest. I’m giving myself permission to not vacuum, instead I will read a book to my 2 and 4 year old. I’m giving myself permission to not dust the living room, instead I will play cars. I’m giving myself permission not to compare myself to that other mother; I don’t really know her or her struggles. I’m giving myself permission to not make that special bread, my husband isn’t. I’ll go back to the store when he gets home.



Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Non Mothers Day Out Day

Did you know that Mothers Day Out was canceled today? I didn't. I showed up with all three of the boys, with two of the boys very excited for MDO. And three of us walked away very disappointed.

It meant that I had to take three little boys to the grocery store with me, for the first time. I wasn't mentally prepared for that but I prayed and asked for a good attitude and the Lord blessed me and we made it out alive and with no balloons.

Now, I love my grocery store. The HEB. Really, I love it. It is the best grocery store ever. It is brand new and it is amazing! I can't describe my love for it. The first time that I went, I walked around with a huge smile on my face the whole time. (I was alone- that may have helped) I wanted to go up to strangers and say don't you just love this grocery store?!

BUT. Why do they have someone stationed at the entrance waiting to hand out balloons to me sweet boys? When they get balloons they are no longer my sweet boys. They turn into these balloon hitting machines. I'm telling you, balloons walking through the grocery store with two boys strapped down but their hands and arms free? Not a good idea. Kolby figured out his legs were free too and that his foot could reach just about anything.

And the store is crowded. Like I felt like I needed a blinker to pull out after getting something off the shelf.

We didn't get the balloons. I'm no fool. I pushed the cart so fast through the entrance while giving the balloon man the evil eye that said don't even think about handing that to my child. The boys didn't have time to notice the balloon man. They noticed the other mom who took the balloons for her boys. She had them tied to the cart where her boys couldn't touch them. Sucker. Then they noticed that she had found a beloved car cart for her children to drive.

They did notice that I did not take the HEB bucks so they could get a sticker out of the machine at the end. Out and back in the cart for stickers? Not worth it.

Honestly, they really did do well in the grocery store. But I would consider having all extremities strapped down also. And maybe a piece of tape over their mouths.

Just kidding. Kind of.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Rest of The Story

My mom was babysitting the boys and she decided to give them a bath. She got Sage out and they played "where's Sage" and got him all dried off. She thought he was going to his room and she turned to get Kolby out.

Next thing she knew, he was sprawled on the floor, with a bleeding head. She thinks he hit his head on the toilet handle. He says he tripped.

He's proving to be so graceful!

We're going to have to start budgeting money for our ER visits. Unless someone knows where I can get my kids' heads stitched somewhere besides the ER? Please?!

Is it bad that both times as I've walked into the ER with Sage skipping beside me, I've thought, there goes that new purse I've been wanting.

The joys of boys.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hot Date

Monday night, Drew, Levi and I went to see Fireproof. We were enjoying the movie, Levi was behaving perfectly and then Drew's phone vibrated. He looked at it and said, "It's your mom." I told him to answer it and he did as he walked out of the not so crowded theater. As he walked away, I prayed that everything was okay at home.

It wasn't.

He came back in and said Sage fell and needs stitches on his head. I set Levi back in his car seat and handed it to Drew as he asked me "Where's the baby? Where's the baby?"

We ran/walked out with Drew going to pull the van up and me stopping to buckle the baby.

As I hopped into the van, I asked if he had heard Sage crying in the background. He hadn't.

We knew little information, just that Sage fell and needed stitches.

We hit the first red light. Got on the freeway and it seemed like we hit every red light on the way home.

I could only pray "Lord, be with Sage, be with my mom and be with Kolby." I felt like crying.

We got in to the house and all was quiet. All three of them were in the boys bathroom, Sage on mom's lap with a bloody towel pressed to his head. Kolby sitting in the now drained tub with a towel around him for warmth. Sage was calm and it was evident he needed stitches. It is on his forehead right by his hairline and it was deep.

Drew, Sage, Levi and I loaded up and headed to the ER. We got there at 8pm and after much waiting got home at 1am.

It was nothing like my experience last month. Sage was so tired he fell asleep around 11 in the waiting area, slept on the bed in the room and was angry when he got woken up to get stuck in his head.

This cut bled, a lot. As the doctor was trying to clean it and numb it, it was gushing blood. Drew was holding his legs and I was holding his hands and arms. Drew got the hard end. I had to sit down a couple times it was so gross. As the doctor was stitching it, with every stitch he made, it bled more. And Sage screamed. And screamed.

We promised WALL-E, a shake, a cheeseburger, anything for him to calm down.

WALL-E worked. Kind of.

So, last night, we went back to the theater and saw Fireproof again. It was good, we even got to eat dinner.

In the waiting room.

Back in the room. Waiting some more.

The final product.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

International Babywearing Week

I read this post Monday morning before I went to my doctor appointment that I had hoped would get me sent to the hospital to have my sweet Levi.

And I got to!

The sling is from Nonny and Boo. It is the cherry bomb print and it's on sale!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Not Feeling So Hot

I did something stupid. I made a mistake. Again. Is there a theme on this blog of the stupid things I've done?

I weighed myself. And then. I tried on a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans.

And none, zero, zip, nada, not one shirt fits either.

I'm stuck wearing maternity jeans and t-shirts. And not cute t-shirts, t-shirts of various colleges and places I've been. And quite honestly, even those are a little tight.

And I know, it has only been 5 days. But, I have had to actually leave my house. Levi's bilirubin level is up. I had to take him to the doctor yesterday and then to the lab for his blood work. It went up from 12.2 yesterday to 13.5 today. The doctor wants it retested tomorrow except that the lab is closed tomorrow. I'm not worried and I know I should lay him in direct sunlight but we aren't getting any sunlight in our house today.

I probably have a little bit of the baby blues. Kind of weepy. Irritable. Or maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep.

I can totally talk myself out of my thinking. I am so thankful for my beautiful, perfect baby and for my mom doing all my work. I haven't cooked or cleaned up from a meal. Sage and Kolby are so adoring to Levi. Especially Sage. He loves to hold him, he talks to him and is so sweet. Kolby is sweet too if not always gentle!

I have so many thoughts and emotions rolling around in my head. Most of them kind of silly and probably selfish too.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I'm feeling hot, hot, hot.

Well, maybe not hot, but really good. I mean who can feel hot in sweatpants and a t-shirt and besides, I made the mistake of weighing myself. And it made me scared to try on actual clothes, which I should not be doing anyway and I know that but I am so excited to wear actual clothes. Pants without a stretchy waist. Shirts that don't bulge in the front. Wait, they do still bulge in the front, they just aren't made to do that!

I hope you are getting the vibe of this post. I'm trying to be funny. But, I really do feel quite good.

My mom is here and she is managing and playing with the boys. My work load is minimal. Nurse the baby, hold the baby, take a nap and I went one step further and made myself a cup of half-caf coffee.

He's sleeping in the sling right now, which has been something of a dream for me. I wanted to be a baby wearer with Kolby but always felt fake because I used a Bjorn because of his shoes and bar. And that wasn't fake, I just wanted to use slings and such more. And can I tell you how not stressful this is? I mean, when we brought Kolby home, we were immediately researching club foot and how to treat it and what doctor would be the best. And now, we're just home and hanging out. Not making doctor appointments, except for the jaundice check on Friday.

I mean really I should have a baby everyday. Totally joking.

He eats about every 2 hours and loves to be held and snuggled. And I love obliging him. So does Sage. And Kolby. And Grandma.

We're having a blast.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

A Few Silent Moment

Levi is in the nursery waiting for his pediatrician to check him over one last time, I'm waiting for my breakfast, Drew and the boys are on their way to get my mom from the airport.

I'm tired. Very tired. Levi slept all day yesterday and was awake most of the night. His nurse kept coming in to see if he'd had a diaper change or if he'd nursed so between him nursing and his nurse coming in, sleep was scarce. And I was nervous of getting caught of having him sleep in my bed with me after the nurse told me he needed to sleep in his bassinet. (I'm a rule follower and don't like to get in trouble) The whole you'll sleep better and more in the hospital thing isn't working out for me.

I'm cramping a lot more than my other two births. I feel more in need of the strong stuff, vicadin. I'm even taking a prescription home. And I have not been smart about keeping on top of the pain, I haven't taken it as often as I should.

And oh the pain of nursing! I can't believe that I have forgotten all this?!

But, I have a beautiful, perfect new baby. And it makes it all worth it.

I started writing Levi's birth story but need to check details with Drew, surprisingly, my mind is a little fuzzy on the details!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

2 Weeks Ago Tonight

You read the doctors office story from the morning of November 10th.

So, I knew I was having a different doctor deliver me and I was fine with that. This would be my first ob-gyn experience. With Sage and Kolby, I had a midwife. Very hands on. In the room most of the time. Nothing monitoring me. No iv. Not the case his time.

I had to wear two monitors, one for the baby's heartbeat and one for the contractions. I understand the baby's heart beat, they want to monitor it to make sure it doesn't dip or anything. Except that the baby kept getting lower and lower and hard to keep the monitor in the right place. Many times the nurse had to come back in and rearrange the monitor.

The contraction monitor just allowed Drew to see how painful the contractions were or weren't and when they were coming. Except that it was a little behind my pain level. He figured it out pretty quickly. And, I don't understand why my contractions needed monitored but what ever, I could handle it.

My first iv. I had to get my first iv. I understood why they wanted me to have it in, "just in case" I needed an emergency c-section. I get it and I was okay with having it. BUT. I didn't realize that after the baby was born, it would most definitely be used. They put some saline mixed with petocin. So, all night long, my uterus was contracting. And it was painful. Keep me awake painful. I would not have agreed to that, but it was already done and started. I hated the whole iv experience. I even thought to myself "I can't wait for my labor to pick up so that I don't think about the iv anymore." And then I found out I had to keep it in.

So, those were the things that I didn't like about my experience.

And now from the beginning. We took the boys to our friends house and got them settled for the evening/night. As an aside, they did so great.

We got to the hospital a little bit after 4 pm. We did paperwork and waited for the doctor to come and break my water. She got there and broke my water about 5:25. I was at 4 cm. And, we waited. Drew and I thought that immediately contractions would come fast and furious. That was what happened with Kolby, so of course it would happen this time too, right?! Not so much. The first hour, contractions picked up but nothing too horrible and they were like 8 minutes apart.

Pitocin was suggested at 6:15. I declined and said lets see what's happening at 7. By quarter to 7, I was at 7 cm.

Contractions got harder. I mentioned not doing a natural delivery next time and that this would be our last child. Drew told the doctor that historically we're really close when I say those two things.

I told myself many times to pull it together, get myself under control. Also, this was the best labor and delivery that Drew and I have done together. He was so encouraging and loving. The other two labors, the midwives or nurse really "took control" of me and keeping me focused. Drew and I really connected this time and when I opened my eyes, his face was the one I was looking for and his voice was the one that I listened for. He said the right things at the right times and I know I fell more in love with him during the labor and then watching him with our new son, amazing.

I remember one really bad contraction. And then, a lull. I even said "What's this, the calm before the storm?" And it turned out to be just that.

The next contraction, I was pushing. He was coming and there was no stopping him. Except for the nurse telling me not to push. I screamed instead and asked why. The doctor didn't have her gloves on yet. Then she told me to push, Drew told me how great I was doing. And two pushes later and he was out.

They set him on me, told me to kiss him and whisked him away. All the while, saying how big he was. We got him for an hour, he nursed and we both cuddled him and then they took him to the nursery for observation for 4 hours and took me to my room to settle in for the night. I didn't sleep until the nurse brought him back to me.

I can't believe it has been two weeks already. The pain of his delivery is still so fresh in my mind but my body is healing so quickly. Women's bodies really are amazing.

Levi Gunnar

Born at 7:19pm
7 lbs. 15 oz.
19.75 inches

First Family of Five! Picture

Monday, November 10, 2008

No Drama

This might be scattered, I'm trying to collect my thoughts as best as possible.

I had an ultrasound and doctor appointment this morning. The baby looks good, size is estimated at 7 lbs. 5 oz to 8 lbs. 5 oz.

We'll be finding out today how much he really weighs!

Yes, I said today! We are getting ready to take the boys to a friends house for the evening/night and then we'll go check in at the hospital. We hope to be to the hospital a little after 3.

My appointment was so crazy. The ultrasound tech told us that my doctor had fallen over the weekend and wouldn't be back in until Wed. He fell changing a light bulb in the bathroom, and landed in the tub. At first, they thought he had a concussion and bleeding in the head but it ends up he only has facial fractures not requiring surgery.

After all that, she said they are just testing urine, weight and blood pressure today so I sent Drew back to work and kept the boys with me. I got called back fairly quickly, she checked the normal stuff and then left saying someone would be with me soon.

It seemed like quite a long wait with two little boys that I was trying to keep entertained in there and finally they come in and tell me that I am going to head over to a different doctor for my cervical check.

The boys and I trooped through the rain outside and made it to the other office. After another fairly longish wait in the waiting room and then getting right back in with the doctor, she determined I was at 4cm and said she would call labor and delivery to see if they are busy.

And that is the story of where we are at now.

I'm a little nervous, I am heading in for some voluntary pain and I'm praying that I have my expectations managed for how long I'll actually be in labor. I probably have too high of expectations. Sage was 4 hours and Kolby was less than an hour, it's hard to not have high expectations of a speedy delivery. We'll see.

I'm not positive the hospital has Wi-fi since I have never actually been on the labor or delivery floor! Guess, we'll be finding out.

Sorry this is scattered and I'm not going back for a read through. We need to be scooting out the door!

I won't leave you hanging...

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Every Sunday

and Wednesday night, I drive away thinking, I am so thankful for our church.

And every Sunday, I think how I should write something about why I love and enjoy it so much.

I was desperate for a good church moving here. I needed some solid, Biblical teaching that I could relate to and understand. (For all those from CT reading this, we did go to a solid church, I however rarely left understanding what the message was about, it was over my head.) I also needed people, women whom I could relate to. I needed young, stay at home moms who love Jesus and that I clicked with. (Again, for the people in CT, I just didn't have that "click" friendship, values were a little different and I was one of the few that I knew who hadn't taken the gmats or attended some sort of graduate school.)

We didn't search for a good church too much here. We knew there were plenty of solid, Biblical churches so we kind of jumped in with our heads first and decided to stick it out with the first one that we visited. We did visit a few others but would want to be back at the church that we first went to. We also saw a baby announcement for some friends that we knew that we didn't realize lived in the same city, kind of a God thing.

We went to the contemporary service and really enjoyed it but felt a little lost in the crowd. So, we read through the list of Bible studies that are offered every Sunday morning. Yes, most churches call those Sunday schools. We didn't visit any different studies, we felt very welcomed and like we could fit right in. So we jumped in and started showing up every Sunday to the same study. Then they started teasing us about joining the class so we could get official name tags. We were a little hesitant because of the size of the class, about 40 couples, but Drew talked to the leaders about starting a smaller group for guys for accountability and they were wide open to it. So, we did it again, jumped in head first.

We also signed Sage up for the pre-school choir on Wednesday nights and Drew and I figured we would find something to do too. So, we go to Midlink taught by Curtis Jones. We are going through the life of Elijah, which is a lot more exciting and convicting than I thought it would be. I think Drew would agree.

Anyway, I just wanted to put it out there that I am so thankful God led us to First Baptist and that if you are looking for a church, plug yourself in, church is the people and you have to stick your head out or in, to find one.

This isn't very eloquent of even thorough but it gets the point across. I needed to hear, learn and see Jesus' love, I craved it and I found it. I knew it was there all along but now I see it in action and hear it and am convicted by it every Wednesday and Sunday. And most days by my own studying. Thank you, Jesus!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Baby Slash Guest Room

I wanted the room to be decorated in such a way that I can take down the crib and the changing pad and it is a comfortable guest room. Also, I wanted green. I found the Target DwellStudio Circle collection and knew I could make it all work.

Also, I have it totally redecorated for a little girl. I'll have Drew paint pink stripes down the walls and get some pieces from the Target DwellStudio Olivia collection. You know, if Target still sells it when or if we have a girl.

These are taken from two corners of the room. You can't see the closet doors, but they're white if you need to know.

Okay, so I know we need pictures above this bed and we will. Sometime. I'm thinking maybe a shelf too. I want to print some in sepia tones and frame them in a natural color frame matching the crib. But, if I waited to show you pictures after we got the pictures hung, it might be years. Just kidding, but we just printed pictures and hung them in our powder room and it has been painted for months.

And the red chair is my cheap version of a bedside table. I looked at some at Ikea and didn't love them and didn't want to pay for them. We had this chair for Sage to sit in at the table, so I bought him a new one ($20) and put this one in the room. I really like how it turned out. I also need a clock.

Here's an up close look at what we call "The Tree". It's a Drew original. He used two packages of the circles to create it. I found the circles on clearance for $1.98 per package!

And, if you can tell me the one thing the room is still missing, besides the things I pointed out, you win. In your own world, you win. That's it. I'm not sending out a prize, just curious if anyone can tell what's missing.

It's our first "nursery" that we've decorated. When Sage was born, we knew we were moving in temporarily to my brothers basement apartment, so we set up the crib and put a chair in there. With Kolby, well we had a two bedroom apartment, so we set up the crib or actually, we kicked Sage out of the crib and gave him a big boy bed that someone had given us. Their room had pink floral wallpaper. Don't judge, we were renting!

We anticipate moving this little boy in with his big brothers at some point. I'm not sure why, but that's what we're thinking. If we ever move, I would love to have one big room with 3 twin beds in it. I saw a Pottery Barn spread that was so cute!

Hope you enjoyed this little peek into our house!

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Updates and Rambling on Everything

I found a pair of pants that I think will work for Kolby! Only $12.98. From Macy's. I can't find them online, they are the Greendog brand, an Everyday Value. I might have to look for more.


The boys had their first pediatrician appointment here with their new doctor. He is really great. Sage is 46 lbs. 43 inches which puts him in the 97th percentile for both height and weight. Kolby is 40 lbs. 38 inches which puts him over 97th percentile for weight and 75th percentile for height. (Junk in his trunk?)

Sage got his 4 year old shots and screamed and cried. He went first and when he was done, Kolby climbed right up for his. He only needed the flu vaccine. Can't wait to see if he gets sick this time like he did last year (catch the sarcasm). I really hope not.


I had my OB appointment this morning and I am disappointed to tell you that I am the exact same as last week. I am embarrassed that Braxton Hic contractions made me cry on Sunday and they did nothing.

I'm back to my theory that I am really only 37 weeks now and I wish they never changed my due date. One week is a big deal at the end. Especially when they start checking me so early and getting my hopes up. He scheduled me for another ultrasound for Monday to see how big or little this punkin is. So by then, I'll either be 38 or 39 weeks depending on which due date you go with.

The theory has never left but when the doctor tells you at 35 weeks, there is no way you'll make it to 38 weeks, it gets old. I know I'm not past due or even due, it is just a mind game right now.


Have I mentioned that Drew's little brother is getting married? In January? In Minnesota? So, we are flying and such for the wedding. Which makes me nervous with a newborn. Did you know that if a baby is under 8 weeks and gets a fever it is automatic hospitalization with running a bunch of tests. Just one more reason to trust and pray, pray, pray!

Which also means the sooner he comes, the older he'll be when we travel. And selfishly, the more time I have to lose my squishy belly. Well, what will be my squishy belly which is now not so squishy at all.


Totally random, I got a pedicure today, thinking it might be the last one but decided that if I don't have this baby before November 18, I'm getting another one.

And, I think it is kind of weird that I can use a pedicure in November. I'm still wearing flip flops most days. Partly because other shoes are a tad uncomfortable right now but mostly because we are still in highs of high 70's to low 80's.


I bought the most comfortable pair of maternity pants from Target. I think I will live in them until the baby is born and after he is born. Do you think it was stupid to buy maternity pants? It's just that my jeans are so uncomfortable, they leave a mark and dig in. I only wear them out of the house. Can I wear these pants out of the house without looking sloppy or frumpy? I'll put a cute shirt on and cute shoes, maybe not even flip flops. Karoline?


Have you been wanting a reusable Target bag? Click here to get one for free!


How's that for random? And rambling? Wow, I might have set a new record. Apparently, I need to talk to an adult.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Baseball Boys

Kolby doesn't quite understand that when he hits the ball, he's supposed to run and usually ends up crying because Sage runs after the ball and he thinks that he should have gone to get it. It's funny, the first time.

It looks something like this:

This is actually pretty tame because he got sat down to finish his tantrum. Usually, he is face down in the grass sitting on his knees.

Unsmiling Halloween Pictures

Sage is in the High Five Choir at church and they sang at First Fest(our church's festival). It was the first thing we did and I have to say that Sage did not look excited at all nor did he seem to enjoy singing. But when it was over, he asked why they didn't sing more songs.

Sage the fire fighter.

Kolby the astronaut.

The fire fighter in the truck.

And Kolby.

On the mechanical bull.

And Kolby. It looks like Kolby might enjoy it, but it hasn't started yet.
They both had a really fun time although we don't have one picture of either of them smiling. They both rode a mechanical bull. The most fun part was before the bull started moving.

I missed the picture of Sage going down the giant slide because I was sitting down eating a sucker. I got a picture of Drew taking Kolby down the giant slide but I missed the part where Drew almost tumbled over with Kolby at the top, that would not have been good. Parents at the bottom literally gasped as Drew jumped onto his bottom holding Kolby. It didn't look like it was going to end well but everything was okay.

There was also a petting box with a donkey, 2 ducks and some rabbits. Sage stuck his hand in front of one of the rabbits mouths and got bit, or so he claims. I think he was thinking that like dogs, the rabbit needed to smell his hand before he could pet it. Kolby loved the animals and would squat down and say hi, hi.

I was bummed because we each got 4 pieces of candy. And 2 of the 4 were suckers. And none of it was chocolate. Somehow we missed all the candy. I was so looking forward to gorging myself on Halloween candy at the end of this pregnancy.

It was a really overwhelming festival for all of us. It ws a lot of fun, just overwhelming.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Sunday: A Review

We went to Sunday school, church, and then out to eat at Sam's Deli. Our family favorite Sunday after church lunch spot. Yummy burgers, fries and shakes for cheap!

I had planned to go grocery shopping since it didn't happen yesterday morning since I was sent back to bed my sweet husband who was protecting himself and our children from my grumpiness. And then I started having some contractions, at the restaurant, on the way home and then again when we got home.

Drew started "the list". He has made a list of the times of the contractions with each of our babies.


And then waiting, waiting, and no more.

Not all of them were really hard, but a couple brought tears to my eyes. My doctor has told me not to mess around.

I missed my chance to have this baby today. But I would have felt like I cheated somehow if I went. They were just so sporadic. They probably would have stopped after we got the kids dropped off at our friends house.

Sage was with us through all these and was so excited for the baby to be born. He even prayed that my water would break and the baby would come today.

I have my appointment on Tuesday. I don't know what I hope. I hope I have this baby soon.

And now, I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow morning, with the boys. Bummer.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Plea for Help

Yesterday, a mom was watching Kolby run ahead of us and commented on how cute he is to watch run. His little legs don't move very fast but his arms pump and pump and pump. It's like all the action is in his arms. Then she said, something about how he doesn't move fast but he tries hard.

And then she said "But, I guess he does have a little junk in his trunk."

I was a little taken aback and the only thing I could think of to say was yeah. Later, I decided, I should have said "I had that same thought watching you walk!" That was the unkind thing to say. I'm glad I didn't say it.

He was wearing hand me down pants from Sage and I'll admit, they were tight in the butt. All of his pants are a little tight and a little hard to button. If he is wearing a cloth diaper, forget buttoning!

That brings me to my plea for help. I need pants that actually fit Kolby. I feel bad telling my 2 year old to suck it in so I can button his pants! But, I'm cheap. And don't suggest Lands End because they have elastic waist, I have a pair of shorts from there for him and they were um, hard to pull up and down. Poor Kolby. I feel so badly sharing this information with the internet but I need help! I've looked at MiniBoden but I don't know if I can bring myself to spend $34 on one pair of pants for him.

Who sells a husky 3T?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I Might Miss Something

With the impending birth of this baby, I feel like if I let myself take too much time away from our normal activities that I might miss something.

See, I don't have close friends that I talk to everyday here. (I'm not complaining, just stating a fact.) So, we have things we go to most days of the week and I see the same moms whom I relate to and can talk to and have a little bit of adult time with. And, if I miss those things, I'll miss those connections, those few interactions with people over the age of four.

And, I know that it's not good for me to miss those connections, those snippets of conversations. I feel like they are on their way to making good friends.

Also, after Kolby's birth, I had a really hard time. I got depressed. I probably should have gone to see the doctor but that seemed like too much work. I had dropped our of my MOPS group because of the birth of Kolby and I hadn't made a friend anyway, so it didn't seem to matter. Our internet went down so I couldn't connect to anyone in the internet world either. Not that anyone actually read or reads this blog but it at least feels like something!

I don't want to slip into that depression again with this baby. I want to truly enjoy his infancy and if that means bringing him with us to our differing activities, that is what we'll do.

I have learned that I can be sustained on these snippets of adult conversation. I need those. I have also seen in the last week that I need to wake up before my kids and read my Bible and do my study. It makes all of our days go better.

I have had some not so easy days and they weren't all due to the attitudes of my children. More mine. I have been impatient with them and prone to anger. I don't like it and neither do they. It makes us all grouchy. Which is not surprising.

Last night at our Midlink Bible study, Isaiah 61:3 was read. "...and to provide ff or those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."

I want to wear a garment of praise in my everyday life. Starting today.

What garment are you wearing?

**See, I don't want to miss this stuff. I need this stuff!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

37 Weeks and Counting

The only exciting thing that I have going on in my life is this baby and how soon it will come out. I know, not terribly exciting, unless you're me or my mom. It just freaks Drew out to think how close we are to having a newborn in our house.

So, I am at the same place that I was last week. Nothing has changed. He said possibly you will have this baby in the next 7 - 10 days. I think he might be lying.

Sunday and Monday I felt really good, I wanted our house clean and picked up and I was doing laundry like a madwoman. It made me think that nothing had changed. I just felt so good. The baby isn't resting on my bladder anymore so I can go more than 20 minutes before I have to find a facility.

And all this makes me think back to when I was a mere 10 weeks and they told me after an ultrasound that I was really 11 weeks. It makes me think that they were off. And that would put me at 36 weeks. And then this would all make more sense.

But, in the end, does it really matter? Not really, but right now it matters because the more weeks along I am, the closer I am to feeling comfortable again. Maybe I'll be able to make it a whole day without saying "My belly hurts." or "I need to lay down because my belly hurts."

The other really exciting thing in my life right now? The weather. It has been drastically cooler here this week and it has been so lovely. It was 50 degrees this morning. I wore a sweater and jeans. And took the sweater off after lunch but still. Sage talks about how freezing it is and how perfect it is for us to make a fire and roast marshmallows in our fireplace. Guess it's time to call that chimney sweep!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Picture Day

You might not want to look at these if you are eating or easily disgusted. Or, enlarge them and get a better view!

The Waiting: He's showing us his bracelet.

The Before: This is better looking than at home when I was trying to decide if he needed stitches. I got a good piece of advice from a nurse at our pediatricians office. "If the sides of the wound aren't touching, it needs stitches."

The During: It kind of grossed me out seeing her pull his flesh together with a needle.

The During:

The After: He kept moving so it was hard to get a good after shot. It is all greasy because of the neosporin.

The Proof: He wrote TOY!

Maybe he was able to start writing his name and toy because of this bonk to his head!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Amazing Sage

Yesterday, from the dining room, I hear, "I wrote my name, S A G E!" We told him to show it to us. He proudly walked over with the sheet of paper and sure enough, he had written his name! And, it was in the right order going from right to left.

Drew and I were very surprised and kind of laughed and told him what a good job it was.

This morning, he was playing with the magna doodle and said "Look, I wrote TOY!" And sure enough he had. (I took a picture but I still can't find the card reader.) He learned how to spell toy from Toy Story when Woody tells Buzz "You are a toy, T O Y, toy!" Then he proceeded to write zoo but he got the z backwards.

We have been doing a little bit of "homeschool". I put it in quotations because we aren't consistent with it and I don't have a real curriculum just some Hooked on Phonics for his lower case letter recognition and handwriting (which I haven't really started) stuff and he colors. Maybe I am holding him back by not doing it everyday with him. Just add it to the list of things that should be getting done in a day!

*This post is mainly for my mom. I know many 4 year olds are much more advanced! But we're proud of our Sage!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

My Crazy Body

36 weeks plus a few days.

2 - 3 cm. dilated.

100% effaced.

Head still low.

The nurse had trouble getting his heartbeat because he was moving around so much. She called him a varmint. I thought that was a little strange.

The doctor said to not dilly dally when I go in to labor. Thanks for the tip! He also said he wants to see me make it to 37 weeks but if I make it to 38, which he highly doubts, he will induce me if I want.

With the boys, I guess I was technically induced, they broke my water both times. With Kolby, I was 37 weeks 5 days and they were guessing 5 or 6 cm dilated but his head was so low it was hard to tell. She didn't want to send me home like that, so they broke my water and 56 minutes later out came Kolby without a push!

Sage was born at 38 weeks and some days. I was 5 cm dilated with him also. I had gone in the night before with regular irregular contractions meaning they were coming but not every 5 or 10 minutes like they told me to look for. Once we got to the hospital with all our gear, we spent the night since the contractions completely stopped and they sent us home about 8 that morning. That night about 10 we checked back in, they broke my water and 4 hours later he was born. But I pushed for an hour and 15 minutes.

In my mind, when I am thinking clearly, I want to keep this baby inside until 38 weeks. Let him put on some weight and make sure his lungs are ready to be out here.

When I am not thinking clearly, I think come on! I watch myself waddle towards the glass doors to pick up the boys at Mothers Day Out and think, how am I gonna hold this baby in?! And when I get a painful braxton hic, I automatically look at the time and wait to see if I get another. (Are they called braxton hics anymore, I mean, they can be quite painful, aren't they just contractions? Then I could tell people I was in labor for weeks instead of just an hour or so!)

And then sane Kristy comes back in and thinks about how I would really like a November baby (no logical reason) and how I really want to make it to 38 weeks.

Part of me really wonders how long I would go if I just let my body do its thing.

And part of me thinks that would be crazy and I would end up delivering at home. By myself. And I don't really want that. If I planned a home birth, that would be different.

My doctor did mention that he would prefer to have me in a controlled setting and induce me. Part of me agrees.

The past two nights, I have slept really well. I have actually woken up and forgotten that I was pregnant. I was so comfortable and my belly wasn't hurting me, no head was pressing against my bladder and then I get a swift kick to my belly and remember that I am in fact pregnant and it is in fact going to be painful to roll over and get myself out of bed.

I can't wait to meet this little guy. We have a couple names we agree on and we have agreed to see him and decide.

Don't tell Sage or Kolby but I ordered matching pajamas for all three boys today (a traditional Christmas eve present) and am so excited to take their picture! What are the odds that Sage won't have an accident and that Kolby and new baby's diaper won't leak that night?!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Another First

First for those curious, I do feel a lot better. I didn't make it to church on Sunday but by Sunday night I could complete my mama tasks. And today I feel as close to 100% as possible for a nine month pregnant lady.

I lazily stayed in bed this morning listening to the boys play in their room wishing that I hadn't stayed up until midnight last night putting sheets on the queen bed in the baby/guest room. (Which is almost done! Crib needs set up and I need to get out our tub of baby clothes and organize but we are so close! My mom could arrive and we would be proud to have her sleep there!)

Anyway, as I was rounding the corner to come down the stairs I heard a little crash and a wail. Sage was ahead of me so I started saying "Sage, what happened?" I only got a wail in response. He was standing as I ran down the stairs. I saw that he had dropped his "tickets" (clothing price tags) and beside it looked like some sort of red toy that I didn't realize he had. I sat on the bottom step and noticed blood all over his hands. I saw blood dripping all over our carpeted landing. I couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

I turned him around saw a lot of blood in his pretty blonde curls. I prayed out loud. "Lord, help me know what to do." I took his pajama shirt off and pressed it against his head. I called my mom. She told me to get it cleaned out and see if it needed stitches.

The blood wasn't dripping anymore, so I took him upstairs to our bathroom to try to clean it out with peroxide. I just kept dumping it on his head. He had stopped crying and I could tell that the gash was pretty open but couldn't see how deep since it was always bloody.

This was about 7:50am. I waited until 8 and called the pediatrician and hoped that I could bring him in there to get stitches rather than the ER. No go. But she did tell me that if the two sides of the wound were not touching, stitches were probably required.

Sage was totally calm and back to normal by this point. I figured we should all eat breakfast before we go wait in the ER for who knows how long. So we ate, I packed a bag of suckers and fruit snacks for bribes and a bag of toys for the waiting.

When I came downstairs with Sage to get breakfast, Kolby had helped himself to 3 yogurts and was getting a spoon. The little stinker. I didn't even scold him, just helped him open one to eat! He was just taking care of himself!

We went to the ER, got checked in, taken right back to the ER room and within 5 minutes the nurse practitioner had come in and looked at his head. She confirmed he needed stitches, 2 or 3. I asked if we had to shave any of his hair. I was so relieved when she answered no!

She came back and gave them each a sucker and Sage was working on the magna doodle so she had him look down and do that while she numbed the area and then stitched it and cleaned it.

He did so great. No tears at all. I was so impressed. I had pictured this huge ordeal trying to hold him down while he screamed and screamed.

We had heard a song on the cd that he requested on the way to the ER that said essentially God will give you the power to be brave. I told Sage about it and prayed for him to be brave. God definitely answered yes to that prayer!

I have pictures to show you the gruesome details. But, I can't find my card reader and someone else was the last to use it so... those will have to wait.

Also, remember how upset I got when he got his first bloody nose at Chick-fil-A? I didn't feel that way at all this time. I was calm and collected. I figured out what to do and did it. I think it helped that Sage couldn't see all the blood and wasn't freaking out over it.

And hydrogen peroxide totally takes blood out of carpet. I might be trying it for his Buzz Lightyear pajamas too!

A random note, the nurse practitioner asked if I was pregnant! She couldn't tell. I was sitting down but really, kind of strange. I guess it is good she isn't an OB nurse!

I'm off to nap, I'll try to post the pictures tomorrow.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I'm Stupid

Today, while we were at a birthday party for one of Sage's friends, Sage got another bloody nose. This time, thanks to his brother. Personally, I think Kolby was paying him back for all those tackles that Sage loves to give. Realistically, a two year old was holding a putt-putt club and his 4 year old brother was standing within striking distance. It was a complete accident.

What I did though, was just completely neurotic. I saw the blood, Drew was right there to help Sage, I was a couple steps behind. I took off running to the clubhouse to get paper towels. In my mind, no one out on the putt-putt golf course would have something that we could use to absorb all the blood. I didn't have my purse or diaper bag, they were in the car, so why would another mother be prepared?! As soon as I took off running, my 9 month pregnant body screamed that it was a stupid, stupid decision. Know what I did? Kept running. Yep. I don't know what I looked like, but in my mind, I was running really fast. Realistically, I probably looked hilarious, but let's not dwell on that.

Another mother did have a diaper bag or something, because she provided a wet wipe that worked perfectly. And my paper towels were rendered useless.

So, the useless paper towels that I so desperately needed caused much pain in my body. I can seriously hardly walk.

All for the love of my child. And not getting blood on his precious, green, soccer t-shirt he insisted on wearing. (I hope you catch the sarcasm, I don't love the soccer t-shirt)

And that is why the rest of the day I have moaned and groaned as I've wobbled and waddled my way from the bathroom and back to the couch.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Doctor Appointment

I had my 35 week check up today. And an ultra sound. The tech said it was a bio physical profile. She checked amniotic levels and the baby's movements, listened to his heartbeat and something else. She was surprised at how low he is, she could barely get to his head to check on something else. I could have told her he was low because of the nightly hiccups I get to experience. Not quite as strong as Kolby's but hiccups none the less. She guesstimated his weight at 5 lbs. 10 oz. A little guy!

The doctor did my group B strep test so checked things out. I had also told him that I had quite a few braxton hics on Saturday. When I say quite a few, I mean, they weren't stopping unless I was laying down.

I had been at a woman's retreat until 2:30 and was so uncomfortable during the afternoon sessions. I just couldn't find a way to sit that was comfortable with my belly and it was like one long braxton hic. I got in my car to come home and had had it. I was so tired and so needing to lay down.

I took a wrong exit on the way home. Traffic backed way up. Enter contractions that are harder that I was actually breathing through a little, not bad but very uncomfortable and I may have started crying.

I finally got home and waddled into the house and burst into tears. Drew didn't know what to do with me. I laid around the rest of the day. I was the useless parent in the house.

Sunday, I felt much better but still had a few contractions.

Anyway, the point of this is to say, I feel much better today. I know to go to the 4th floor of the hospital.

Oh and also, I'm a few centimeters dilated already. The doctor made a comment that as long as I stay just a few centimeters, we'll let him stay in as long as possible. Pray that I can be strong and insist that it is okay for me to walk around 4 - 5 centimeters dilated and that this baby will get bigger, stronger and develop everything in time.

With Kolby I was at 5 centimeters at 36 weeks. I know how my body works but I do get anxious at the end. Anxious for details that I have no control over.

I just keep laying it all at the Lord's feet. That's what he's there for anyway!

Reason #485 Moving Stinks

Moving stinks for a number of different reasons. My reason for today is doctors. I hate finding new doctors and then waiting to actually see them.

I made appointments for the boys in June or July for November for regular pediatric appointments. Sage's will be his 4 year old check up and Kolby will be because Sage is going and why not? I can handle that, they aren't really needed for any specific reason.

And, I'm not going to mention that the new OB I've been seeing just informed me that he is moving his office to about an hour away. Oh, and that the pediatrician that the kids are seeing are dropping our insurance come April. I'm trying to pretend that isn't happening.

But, Kolby needs an orthopedic doctor for his feet. His last check up was February 2008. The first available appointment is February 2, 2009. That is a year in between check ups. And there is the small detail of the shoes that he wears to bed every night. He is starting to outgrow them. And at the appointment, I need all his medical records. Which I knew. But my doctor in Connecticut said the new doctor will be able to get them, I didn't need to worry about bringing them with me. WRONG! I have to have them all at the first appointment.

Lesson learned: Do not leave a state without all your medical records to take with you. And, once you have gotten those records, make copies and keep them so that if or when you move again, you will have the first set to take with you to a new doctor. And don't forget to get your current records!

I feel like I have failed Kolby. His feet give me no reason to think that I need to take him to the doctor, but I would like that confirmation from a doctor.

I dragged my feet in scheduling his appointment and finding a doctor because there is one Ponseti certified doctor in Houston. And he of course, is not in our insurance plan. So, I haven't wanted to make an appointment with someone that I don't know what they are going to say to me.

Part of me thinks that the doctor will say, "His feet look great, let's discontinue the bar" and then Kolby will relapse. I am pretty adamant that he wear his bar until he is at least 4. He expects to wear his shoes and bar and sleeps better with them anyway.

It will take a lot of faith on my part to discontinue use of the bar. When he wears the bar, I am doing something. When it is over, it's in God's hands. Actually, it has always been in God's hands. He's got the whole world in his hands, including Kolby's feet.

Breathe in, breathe out. I already feel better. I might have failed in getting a doctor appointment sooner, but God has it all in his hands. I've done my part, the appointment is made. I'll fax the release forms to Connecticut today and then I'll wait on the Lord.

Writing everything out makes me come to my senses. And after re-reading this, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to anyone but me and maybe my mom.

Friday, October 10, 2008

A New Day

I'm sitting at the computer listening to my children sing loudly at the top of their lungs and Sage comes down to share this: "Mom, we are upstairs, praising the Lord!"

But that wasn't what I wanted to write about today. I just thought it was precious.

My level of patience this week has been zero. Zero. Surprisingly, when my patience level is low, very low, the kids don't have that great of a day either.

We were on our way to church on Wednesday night and I said to Sage, "You have done nothing but whine and complain all day."

And then I thought, but what have I done all day? Maybe I am not as vocal as Sage but in my mind and heart, I have only been whining and complaining. Hm, wonder where he gets it?

But you know what, it hasn't been just a day. It's been all week. The week of No Patience.

Even this afternoon as I was trying to take a nap with Sage I was getting so annoyed that he would move and how dare he move in a bed while he is looking at a book and make it so that I can not sleep!

Everyday I think today is a new day. My patience will have returned. And then they want breakfast. And Kolby starts with his "Mama. Mama" every 2 seconds and never follows the "Mama." with anything but another "Mama."

I took this week as a laying low week. Sage has a cough that just won't go away, so we haven't been to the gym all week. I thought that would help with my patience since I wouldn't be trying to rush out the door in the morning so I could get on the elliptical right as Regis and Kelly were starting. But, no. I have still been low on patience.

And, I know what your thinking, mom, pray for patience. I sure have. Many times.

And many times have I apologized to my kids for not having patience.

But tomorrow is a new day. A day where I will be away from the kids most of the time at a womans retreat. And then a new week.

And you know what is coming next week? Pictures of the baby/guest room completed! Even though, there is only one wall of wallpaper border scraped so far. It will be done by Wednesday the 15th.


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Dear Mr. Weather Man,

I don't know why I called you dear because I don't hold you dear in my heart. Not this year, anyway.

You keep giving us weather appropriate for our region, but I can't help but roll my eyes and sigh everyday when I hear or read the forecast. And then you try to give me hope by saying a cold front is coming in! A cold front, bringing mid eighties! That is not a cold front!

Did you know that the date is October 7? OCTOBER! I am supposed to be making yummy soups, pumpkin bread, chili, shepherds pie.

I am supposed to be wearing jeans, everyday. Without thinking about it, wake up and get dressed in my jeans and a sweatshirt. At least a long sleeve shirt, maybe even a jacket on top. Definitely no flip flops anymore.

Do you know what I am wearing everyday? Flip flops. Shorts. Skirts. Short sleeved dresses. T-shirts.

What am I cooking? I don't know. I keep trying to cook fall like meals. They just don't taste as yummy. And it is so hard to want to make potato soup when it is 88 degrees plus humidity.

I try to pretend it is fall and burn my favorite candle but it just isn't the same. I look outside and see bright sunshine and green leaves. The only dead leaves are from Hurricane Ike.

I don't even want to buy gourds and pumpkins to decorate my mantle. It just doesn't seem right.

I try to have a good attitude, but really, the pool is still open. Sage still wants to go swimming every afternoon. I just can't do it.

Maybe in January or February, I will enjoy the forecasts a little more.



Friday, October 03, 2008

Drama Trauma

We went to Chick-fil-A for lunch today. It was a special treat for the boys and then we were going to pick out Sage's school supplies because we have been sorely lacking in that department. We don't have a red crayon or children's scissors or anything else really. It was supposed to be fun.

Sage and Kolby were in the play area and I was chatting with a mom at a different table, just a little and then I heard it. The sound of Sage's cry. He was just coming out of the door, his face was twisted up into his cry and his hands were balled up by his mouth and nose.

I was asking what happened? what happened? as I scooped him up, moved his hands to check for blood and walked back to our table. The whole restaurant was looking at us because Sage isn't a quiet crier. He's loud, very loud. His head went right to my shoulder and something made me want to check for blood again. I pulled my shoulder back and craned my neck to look at his face. And that's when I saw it. Blood pouring from his nose and into his open mouth. I was surprised and stood up quickly carrying him to where there were napkins. It sounded like the whole restaurant gasped, but maybe it was just me. I said "Jesus, help." An employee asked if she could bring me a bag of ice, I said sure. I was trying to hold napkins continuously under his nose and comfort him. As I threw the dirty napkins into the trash can, I noticed the trash can was missing. I knew nobody wants to pick up someone else's bloody napkins, so I picked them up and set them on a clean napkin on the counter where Sage was sitting. The blood slowed quickly to a trickle, I asked for a glass of ice water for him since he had blood in his mouth and he started to calm down.

I grabbed a bunch more napkins and realized that I had left Kolby at our table eating his ice-cream. I looked up and the sweet mom that I had been chatting with earlier had gotten up and stood next to Kolby while I dealt with Sage. I thanked her as she gathered her kids and left. Kolby never stopped eating his ice cream.

We started to make our way out, getting Sage's shoes from the play area and cleaning up Kolby after his ice cream.

Then came the sneeze. The sneeze that sent blood droplets flying through the air landing on me, Sage and the floor. Luckily, the table across from us was empty! The bummer is that I have to wash my maternity shorts that I just washed again and they weren't even stretched out enough as it was.

The story finally came out. Sage was going down the slide and a little girl decided to climb up it. And BAM! Bloody nose.

My son's first bloody nose was from a girl. And he was the only one crying.

(I think, I didn't really look around the restaurant to see if anyone else came out crying, actually I did see one little kid but I thought it was a boy that was crying and Sage said it was a girl climbing up the slide.)

I have a strange reaction when my kids get hurt. I go into fix it mode but at the same time, I am on the verge of bursting into tears. I hate seeing them crying and bloodied. It's part fear too. Fear of what else could be wrong that I can't see yet. Fear that it is something that I won't be able to fix with a handful of napkins, lots of hugs and kisses and maybe a little Tylenol.

Sage decided to forgo Target and opted to go right home. He was a little shook up. Now, he is resting, make that napping next to me on the bed. I might still be a little shook up too.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

On Making Friends

I've lived in this new city for 4 months now. I no longer plug in the GPS every time I get in the van. I can get us around our daily lives without directions. I know where the good library is with the good story times. I know which grocery store I like the best and almost know where all the items on my list are.

We even have a routine of sorts. Monday is laundry day. Tuesday is MDO, grocery shopping and doctor appointments. Wednesday is either MOPS, stay home or do something fun with the boys. Thursday is CBS. Friday mornings are swimming lessons (for 2 more weeks).

Lately, I have been squeezing in time at the gym too. Don't you wish you could see this almost 8 month pregnant lady sweating on the elliptical machine?! The boys love the child center and I love being able to workout and shower knowing the boys are safe and having fun. There are lots of things I love about our gym but that is not the point.

On Tuesday, I decided the MDO days are a little lonely for me. Sure, I can get through the grocery store faster and I usually make sure I get Chick-fil-A for lunch. But it is a quiet day. I don't have anyone to talk to or answer questions. And I know that is kind of the point of the day but it gets lonely. I have other times during the week that I am away from the boys and get a break, the gym, MOPS and CBS. I am away but not really. At those places, we are all getting something good for us.
I am not ready to give up MDO because I know the boys enjoy it and I know I will enjoy the time after the baby is born too, for all those doctor appointments and just extra cuddles with my new little guy and maybe some groceries will get picked up too.

But, I haven't made many friends. Sure, I have friends at the various places that we go. Or rather people that I talk to regularly. I do have one friend in the neighborhood but her 4 year old is in all day pre-school and she works from home, so we don't spend a ton of time together. And, I don't expect to spend a ton of time with friends in this stage of life, moms are busy with little ones at home, I get that.

I really want a good group of girlfriends. I crave that. I fill it with other things like various group activities and our Sunday School class has a girls night out that I go to, but it just isn't the same. I crave the intimacies of a group of girls, I crave being able to call someone and ask them to meet me and my crazies for lunch somewhere or just getting together to let the kids play and drink a coffee or a Dr. Pepper. I crave having girlfriends that know me, that get me, that enjoy being around me for just me, not because we are in the same group activity.

I have filled a void and feel less lonely than when we first moved here, but life still doesn't look the way I had imagined it.

And that isn't to say that I am not content. I am content. I love my life. I can't say I love living in Houston because it has been and continues to be a big adjustment. It just takes time.


Saturday, September 27, 2008

The Baby's Room

This is probably not the post you are hoping for. I have no pictures of a completed room because the room is not complete. In fact, it is still painted pink, has a floral border around the top, with a floral valance and the quilt that used to be on Drew and I's bed.

The crib is in there in pieces, leaning against the wall. The bassinet is ready to go except I need to wash the sheets. The changing pad is sitting on top of the dresser that is still full of the things that we packed inside the dresser.

Yesterday, we picked the paint color, Sassy Green. I have the bedding for the crib. I got the sheet and the crib skirt. And the wall decals. You know what's funny? We aren't planning on buying a new mattress until the baby needs it, so I won't have a mattress to put the sheet on for a couple months!

And I think I might order this for a fun graphic to hang on the wall. Thanks for the idea, Julia! I've always been a little obsessed with monkeys.

The guest bed has this bedding waiting for it.

Drew and I made a deal today. I was feeling very overwhelmed with the room not being ready and time running out. And I know that it doesn't matter if the room is ready for the baby or not. And really, if it were just for the baby, I wouldn't care. But, as soon as the baby is born, my mom is coming. She'll stay, for how long, mom? Then, sometime in December Drew's sister is coming to visit. She leave for Guatemala in early January and won't have another opportunity. Then, the beginning of January, we are traveling to MN for Drew's brothers wedding. Drew's parents will fly home with me and the boys. So, really, I want the room ready for guests. The baby coming is just a good deadline. We were having a hard time getting started today. Drew let me sleep in, I lazily made cinnamon rolls and sat around all morning. Drew took the boys to play outside, shooting rockets and playing catch. Then the football game came on. That is when we started making deals. I expressed my concern with the lack of work going on in the baby's room and he decided that he would do everything if I just left him to it by a certain date. We decided on October 15.

I am not to lift a finger in that room. He will take the wall paper down, tape, trim and paint the walls. Then, we'll decide how we are arranging the wall stickers and I hope to get to make the guest bed because there is just something about making up a new bed. Do you know how hard it is to agree to this? It sounds ideal but then I have no control!

And then, I will pull out the tub of 0-3 month clothing and see what we have. I'm pretty sure we have everything he'll need. I picked up a new package of Carters onesies at a second hand store the other day, along with a Bumbo with a tray.

We may have decided on a name but there is no official word out yet.

And, I'm still looking (not hard) for the perfect coming home outfit. I don't know why that is special to me, but it is!

So, after October 15, I should have a completed baby/guest room. Can't wait to show you pictures!