7 month Check Up

Kolby had his 6 month check up today, at 7 months. Good news, his weight is back on the charts! 97% at 24lbs. 9oz. Length was 27 3/4 inches at the 25%. Short and fat. He is doing great. She (Dr. Ann) suggested that he doesn't need to eat in the night anymore. I have known that he probably doesn't need to but am struggling with how to get him to sleep through. I admit that I haven't really tried... except for the one night that I forgot to turn on the monitor. Did I mention that was the one night we had friends in town who were sleeping on our living room floor. Drew and I didn't hear a thing, they however heard a lot. Kolby usually wakes up anywhere from midnight to 3am and I hear him cooing and talking, not crying. I go get him because he and Sage share a room and I would rather deal with one awake baby, not a baby and a toddler. Well, this particular night, Kolby woke up and then started screaming at some point (I assume he had been awake for a little while and was wondering why no one came to get him) then Sage woke up to Kolby screaming. Naturally, Sage thought it would be helpful to yell at Kolby. "Holby, no, Holby, nigh-night." When that didn't work, it was "MOMMA" And when that didn't work, alternating back and forth until Kolby fell back asleep. A little while later, Kolby cried out again but not as long and apparently Sage slept through that one. At 6:39am I woke up and rolled over and processed the time. "Kolby slept through the night!" Then I instinctively checked the monitor channel and heard a screaming baby. I felt awful. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't known the details to the middle of the night cry/yell fest. I am sure the elephants upstairs loved that night!

All that to say, Dr. Ann suggested giving Kolby a bottle of water instead of nursing him. That will discourage him to wake up because it isn't as comforting or as yummy. In my mind, I am resolved to start tonight. I am going to move the pack-n-play into the living room and when he awakes I will give him the bottle of water and then his passy and his blanky and put him in the pack-n-play. Hopefully, my resolve will be so strong at bed time and again in the middle of the night. I really need some sleep. Especially when Kolby thinks 5:30 is a good time to wake up for the day and my sweet hubby thinks 6 is a good time to have the alarm go off. So, after I nurse Kolby and I think he is finally settling down in his pack-n-play in our room, the alarm goes off causing him to wake up. Then I get him out and snuggle him in our bed, again more nursing, sweet hubby decides to open bedroom door and let light stream in so he can find his shoes or whatever. So, we are up for good. Not that I have slept since 5:30 and I am sobbing. I rock Kolby for awhile and then put him in the magic swing. I hop in the shower for a long hot shower and prayer time asking for help and being reminded of a song about my soul resting in the Lord, and Kolbs is asleep in the magic swing. A cup of coffee* later and all is okay with the world.

Why is it when I try to take a nap during the afternoon, I receive 3 phone calls and one package? I didn't answer the phone, but the door, I couldn't ignore. I never get calls. Such is life. I did get rest and maybe that is all I needed.


*When I say coffee, I mean chocolate coffee with 4 scoops of hot chocolate and french vanilla creamer mmmm good. They are called Kristychinos around our house.

Almost Embarrassing & Other Random Thoughts

Tonight Drew, Sage, Kolby and I were in Target getting some groceries. Sage is in the cart and Drew is pushing him. Sage says "Dada, poopoo." Drew had farted! No one heard. Drew even had to tell me. Someday, I hope Sage uses that to embarrass Drew and not me!

Kolby is enjoying life without his brace. I worry that his leg strength is weak and behind. We have a dr. appointment in 2 weeks so I will talk to the pediatrician about it then. He doesn't roll at all when he is on his back. One time, he rolled to his side on his back but I haven't seen him do it since. I worry that I don't give him enough time to play on the floor. Like today, he didn't play on the floor at all. He was in the exersauser for a little bit and I think that is helping his leg muscles some. But then we were at a park and then McDonalds and then he was either sleeping, nursing or being held the rest of the day and evening. We went out to eat and I held him and then we were at Target and he was in the Ergo. My prayer is that he gets on track devolpmentally. Nights have not been so easy with the shoes. He doesn't seem to mind getting them put back on and will fall asleep okay but then he will wake up, usually twice and then settle down for the night around 10 but that is with me nursing or at least rocking him for a good bit. Of course, once I think I have him figured out, he will do something entirely different. When do babies not need to nurse in the night? Kolby still wakes up once and sometimes twice. I am tired. When can I sleep again? Seriously, I am doing good if I get 4 hours in a row. And that is only once a night.

In other news, I bought a new camera with my babysitting money. I sound like i am 14. I should get it next week. A Canon SD70 IS. Go ahead, google it. It is really cool. It has image stabilization which means, Sage can be running around and the picture does not come out fuzzy or out of focus. When I get it, I will post pictures of all the cool things it can do. Next up on my babysitting purchase list. Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers.

I realize that I haven't talked about cloth diapering in a while. I did it for a while then we went on vacation in July and when we got back, I had a hard time starting again. Kolby had outgrown the covers that I had for him and I didn't want to put more money into cloth diapers. Finally, I did and I am so glad. The more I read, the more I am convinced of health benefits and environmental benefits. And honestly, it is so easy. I wash diapers every other day. I do them at night, which sometimes causes me stay up a little too late. I don't have a wet pail of stinky diapers in my bathroom, in fact, they have never stunk. I love not buying diapers again and again. I love that if I need diapers, I am just a load of laundry away. I don't love the diaper that I have. I have fitted diapers which means I don't fold them but they do need a cover. I don't like changing his wet diaper and putting said wet diaper on the floor until I put a clean one on and reclothe him and then pick up wet diaper and carry it to the bathroom to put in the pail. Which is why I want to purchase Fuzzi Bunz! They are a pocket cloth diaper. Which means, that I will stuff the absorbant part into the cover. So, when I change him, it is one step like a disposable except I don't throw it away, I shake out the liner, wash it, stuff it and reuse it. Now, I don't think disposables are awful or that people that use them are awful, I just like cloth for me and mine, for today.

Cute pics

What I see in my kid rear view mirror. So sweet. Yes, I took this while driving and no, I caused no accidents...yet. However, this scene is not so sweet when Sage is yanking on Kolby's hand yelling "Holby, wake!" But I want to remember the sweet times.

Kolby and Sage. We were trying to take a picture of Kolby learning to sit up and Sage jumped right in!

"Perfect Feet"

Picture of Kolby, Dr. Thomson and Sage


And that is a direct quote from Dr. Thomson regarding Kolby's feet.

He also said that his feet might be pointed out a little too far now. I didn't ask but he didn't say that is a problem. He did change the setting. Originally they were pointed 70 degrees out, now they are 60. Kolby has to wear them at night still and Monday, Wed, and Friday naps. The naps are more so Kolby stays used to wearing them. The last couple of days he has done really well. He is enjoying being on his stomache more and rolling a little more. He doesn't know exactly what he is doing yet so doesn't do it every time. He rolled to his side when he was on his back the other day which he has never done before. Perfect feet!

Sage vs. The Duvet Cover

Sage got stuck in his duvet cover. He pulled part of the blanket out and then climbed in the hole. He was supposed to be sleeping. He started crying and I listened for a minute then decided that I should check on him. He was starting to cry pretty hard. I opened the door and tried to let my eyes adjust to the dark. I saw a form with a blanket over it and assumed that the blanket was over his head so I started pulling but it wouldn't move. I figured out that he was inside and turned the light out and got him out. I laughed just a little. Then Kolby started crying because we had woken him up. I retucked Sage in, Kolby fell back asleep and now Sage is talking to himself.

I guess I will get out his quilt instead of the duvet cover!

Why I am Not Up for Mother of the Year

I forgot to nurse Kolby this morning.

I got him out of bed, took him to the bathroom with me, got a cover for his diaper, went to the bathroom, took him back to the changing area, changed his diaper and put his clothes on. We went out to the dining room and I put him in the swing and I went downstairs to start a load of laundry and put the diapers in the dryer. I came back up and got Sage milk and eventually breakfast, made Drew and me hot chocolate, and sat down to eat with Sage. Kolby started fussing so I picked him up while I ate. He stopped fussing. I thought he seemed interested in my oatmeal and watching Sage and I eat. Then I put Boz on for Sage to watch while I showered and decided to be a good mom and not put my 6 month old in front of the tv...today. I put him in the bouncy seat in the doorway of the bathroom. When I got out of the shower, he started fussing. I picked him up. He stopped. Fast forward through 2 more loads of laundry, washing dishes, Kolby going down for a nap that he seemed to fuss longer than normal before he fell asleep, the 7 month old getting to our house, me finishing dishes, and laundry, feeding the 7 month old food and then finally then at 11, I realized I had yet to nurse Kolby. Last time I nursed him you wonder? 3:45am.

What kind of horrible mother forgets to nurse her sweet baby? ME! I totally and completly forgot. And you know what I really wonder, why can he go 7 hours during the day and not at night?

A Rare Moment

I have the house to myself! I folded laundry, made dinner, washed dishes and now get to blog!

Drew took the boys to the park, Sage riding his trike and Kolbs in the stroller. When I say riding his bike I mean, pushing with his legs as fast as he can go. Yesterday, he did use the pedals for about 50 feet. But he can go faster the other way. And then he threw a fit because he didn't want to get off the bike to walk across the street and he had to walk home. Crying all the way, still wearing his helmet while I pushed the stroller and carried the trike. Fun times.

One week and two days and Kolby will be brace free during the day. I won't have to answer questions anymore! I won't have to ignore peoples stares and pointing. I won't have to talk nicely to people who ask why he is wearing roller skates. And hopefully, Kolby will start to move! Roll and get around the floor.

And dinner is done and they are home...

A New Day

Today is a new day, a new day that the Lord has made and we can be glad.

The weather makes me glad, it is turning cool and fall like. Jeans and jackets come out of the closet but flip flops and sandals stay out. Soon, it will be time to replace them with shoes...

2 weeks from tomorrow and Kolby will be able to wear real shoes, shoes without a bar! Now to find some cute shoes to celebrate! I am so excited to balance him on my hip and wear him in the Ergo as much as possible. I am excited for him to get stregth in his legs and start to roll both ways... I am excited to see what he does with his new freedom.

Drew's birthday is Thursday and I already have a babysitter lined up so he and I can go to dinner! That is also exciting and makes me glad.

I Remember

September 11, 2001.

I was in my fifth and final year of college. I lived in an apartment with two other girls. I got ready for my 9:00 class and started to leave, my neighbor next door whom I had said hi to a couple of times opened her front door as I was locking mine. She asked if I had been watching the news. I replied no. She explained how a plane flew into the world trade center. I went back into my apartment and started to watch tv. I didn't know what to do, go to class, stay home or drive the two hours to my parents. I am embarrassed to admit that I didn't even know what the Twin Towers were. I didn't even realize the extent of what was happening. I lived in the middle of Iowa and hadn't ever been to NYC. I decided I better go to class but called home on my way. I asked my dad what I should do and he calmly replied to go to class, he was sure everything would be okay, it was just a scary time.

In my first class the mood was somber and the professor announced that the Twin Towers had fallen. Somehow, we all got through the lecture.

I was desperate to find a tv. In the Union of the campus they had set up a projector and screen and were airing the news. I watched horrified. I was surrounded by so many people and didn't know anyone in the room or anyone that lived in NYC but we were all shocked. The gravity of the situation was starting to sink in.

I went to my nannying job that afternoon and didn't watch tv again because of the kids. That night my church held a prayer service but I didn't go. The parents of the family that I nannied for went and I stayed with the kids. I remember feeling so alone and sad. I felt so alone all day surrounded by so many people who were hurting and scared and I didn't reach out to anyone.

I have always regretted not going to the prayer service. Instead, I fed 5 kids dinner and put them to bed.

Since moving to the East Coast, I have had the opportunity to visit the World Trade Center site three times. Every time is powerful and emotional. I can't hold back the tears. I don't hold back the tears. The last time I visited they had photos displayed of the scene unfolding. I walked in front of Sage so he couldn't see the terrifying photos. And then I came to one of a little girl, probably 3 or 4, on a mans shoulders and someone had placed a respirator over her face. Probably to protect her from the air, but also it protected her from seeing the horrifying images that she was living in.

I will not forget 9/11 or the people that died.

Today, 6 Months Ago

I went to my 37 week ob appointment. I found out that I was dialated to 6cm and the head was low, so low. "Let's go over what to do if you deliver this baby at home." Said the midwife. I went over the basics and then thought, no way am I allowing that to happen. This baby needs to come out now. I went about my day. Sage took a nap. I laid on the chair and contractions started. Not hard, a little painful and so I started timing. They were sporadic and not too intense. I called Drew so he would be on guard. He came home at a normal time and we decided to go to the mall for dinner and a long walk. We called our friends to be on guard so we could drop Sage off with them. We decided to take him with us for dinner and a walk. As we walked, the contractions got more intense but I never needed to stop walking through them. I wasn't convinced this was real, we got in the car and drove toward our friends house. We called the hospital and they said come on in. I was convinced, worried and upset they would send us home. The contractions had become very irregular since getting in the car. Getting farther apart. They were 5 minutes apart. We got to the hospital, she checked me and said I can't send a woman home who is 7 cm dialated. We got all checked in, laughing and joking through paperwork and being hooked up to the monitor. I was having contractions, the monitor confirmed it. Phew. Then they went to break my water. The student midwife too her turn and I have to admit, it was painful and she didn't get it. So, the expert took over and whoosh came the water. I guess it was hard because the baby's head was so far down and she didn't want to snag his head. Thanks for that. And then the most intense contractions started almost immediatly. I was laying on the bed, still hooked up to the monitor and asked how long do I have to wear the monitor? 20 minutes to make sure the contractions are coming strong. Take it off, I can't stay on the bed. Shower? Yeah, let's try that. I get out of bed, making my way to the bathroom and decide against it. I sit in the rocker and rock back and forth back and forth finding a rythm. The student midwife stayed in the room to help or watch or whatever. She said to tell her when I felt like pushing. Pushing, I thought, I haven't been having contractions for long enough. Then the next contraction I said yeah I felt like pushing with that one. Back in to bed. The real midwife telling me I shouldn't have to push, this baby should slide right out. Then saying give me one push. I pushed. Then stopped. And yelled "I AM NOT PUSHING!!" But this baby was coming out. I could feel him coming out, moving his way down. From the time I said I wanted to push to Kolby coming out? 6 minutes. 6 painful minutes.

I was ecstatic, they laid him on me. What is that matter with his feet? They wisk him to the warmer and start rubbing and diapering him. They pick up the RED phone. I look at Drew and say they are using the red phone. Almost feeling like I am not really there, like this is joke that they would use the RED phone. It calls the NICU without them dialing, meaning something is wrong with my baby. They are not supposed to use the RED phone with my baby. He is perfect. I get distracted by the pain of delivering the placenta. Then a NICU person introduces herself and explains she is there because Kolby was born with club foot. No problem, very correctable and so forth. Oh and also, Kolby is having a little bit of difficulty breathing because he came out so fast and didn't get the extra squeeze as he came out.

We get moved to our room and the move Kolby to the nursery and say they will bring him in soon. I had already nursed him and he was doing great. Then after I get my percaset (love it!) the nurse tells me he has been moved to the NICU nursery because of his breathing. But he should be fine and I shouldn't worry. I fall asleep crying because my baby isn't in my room and he has club foot and what does that mean?

The next day, I spend mostly alone in my room. Kolby is in the NICU and I go down to hold him for awhile and nurse him but it is a little sad and scary in that room. They do let me change his diapers and I am feeling better.

Drew brings Sage to see me but he can't meet Kolby. The anticipated meeting is put off until the next day. One visitor. That is how many people came to meet Kolby at the hospital. One. Our associate pastor from church. He had to track me down in the NICU.

I had so many emotions. Kolby had an IV coming out his head and his feet are pointed the wrong way. I passed another new mom in the hallway and noticed her new baby all bundled up and I could only think about his perfect feet and how my sons feet aren't perfect.

6 months. So many changes. His feet, perfect. When he doesn't have his brace on, no one would know he was born with feet pointed the wrong way. He is perfect. So happy and smiley.

When he was in the NICU, they gave him a bottle. I didn't know until I went down to nurse him. The next time I tried nursing, he had a hard time. I thought that might be the end. And then told myself to try again next time. He latched on like a pro. I even had a lactation consultant sitting there and she felt unneeded.

6 months. So many changes. He nurses so fast sometimes I am sad he is done so quickly. He eats solids. 2 meals a day.

After his 3 day appointment, they said he wasn't gaining enough weight. He had to come back in a couple days to get re-weighed.

6 months. So many changes. He weighs 20+ pounds. And still growing.

6 months. It has flown by. Half a year.

Long Time, No Post

It has been awhile, I might forget how to do this. Oh, right, just write whatever personal information I want anyone on the internet to read. Got it, will do.

Drew surprised me with a laptop! It is an Apple iBook, green. It is really old but I have always wanted a laptop for some reason and now I have it! What do I do with a laptop? I don't know, it hasn't left the computer desk yet! But, in my defense it hasn't left because the battery will die within 5 minutes and honestly, what am I going to do in the living room with a computer? I guess I could blog...

We went to Boston! I love Boston. It is my new favorite city. NYC is out, Boston is in! It is so cool, historical and beautiful. We walked the freedom trail. We just drove in for the day so we will have to go back at least once if not twice or more. I love it.

Kolby is eating two meals a day. And he is fat. Not sleeping through the night, but he did roll over the other day when he had his brace off. He was laying on his stomache having tummy time and he was trying to look at Sage or something and his big ol' head helped him roll over. We were all there and clapped and cheered and his face looked confused and startled. And then he did it a second time! He tries to roll back to tummy but only with his brace on and that gets him stuck in the middle. When his brace is off, he is just so happy to kick his legs individually. I am counting down the days until his dr. appointment and he goes to wearing it only at night. It will be so much easier to be able to balance him on my hip. He has become Mr. Mellow. He is generally very happy and smiley unless of course i want to cook dinner or shower then he is demanding and wants to be held.

Sage is talking more, putting more words together. And is still as obsessed with music as ever. He sings all the time and plays his guitar or piano. He raises his hands and sings holy and hallelujah. He loves to watch this Cornerstone music dvd everyday. Mu ddd? He asks over and over and over and over again.

Drew has started school again. I don't even want to think about how many years he has been going to school. 21. Enough said. He needs to be done. 2 more years, including this one. So far, his schedule is pretty good. He generally leave by 7 or 8 and is home around 6. He does have quite a few evening things he has to attend. And those stink because they are during the dinner hour, ending around 7 or 7:30. That makes a long day at home with the kiddos for me. By the time he gets home I am starting baths or done and getting them ready for bed. But, he has been able to do homework during the day keeping the late evenings free to do some other work, oh and spend time with me.

I have not been getting out of the house as much lately and am okay with that. Kolby is getting to the age of 2 naps a day and I hate messing up his schedule. Probably because I am a freak and not because he seems to care. Again, he is a really easy baby. I have also started babysitting a 7 month old girl on Monday and Friday mornings and Monday afternoons. So far, I have only done it once for a morning and it went okay. We just hung out and played with toys and tried to keep all babies happy. Sage enjoys singing and entertaining and the stretches aren't too long, like 3 hours so it seems like it will be manageable.

Life is pretty routine right now. I don't have anything exciting or funny stories. Oh, Sage loves cheese. He saw Drew put it on his sandwich this morning and all morning asked for cheese. Finally, lunch time. I made him a ham and cheese sandwich and blueberries and put another slice of cheese on the side. He eats the cheese, blueberries and then looks at me. I said "Eat your sandwich." He takes off the top slice of bread, picks up the slice of ham and gasps when he sees a second slice of cheese! It's the little things in life.

Big Changes

So, I haven't posted in a while. We went camping last weekend, we had so much fun and both the boys did awesome sleeping in the tent. One afternoon we all laid down in the tent for a nap!

Big Change 1: Kolby now sleeps in the crib in "the boys room". Sometimes Sage wakes up when Kolby cries out letting me know it is time to eat and says "Holby, ssshhhh." His voice is the I am sooo annoyed with you right now, voice. And Kolby usually cries louder because it startles him!

Big Change 2: Drew started school today. 2 more years, 2 more years, that is my almost daily chant.

Big Change 3: Kolby is eating solids. I started him about a week ago and he is doing great! After his first meal was done, he cried. That was a pretty good sign that he was ready.

Big Change 4: Kolby is in the big boy car seat, no more infant carrier. His weight wouldn't allow it! Grocery shopping and errands are a bit trickier. I carry Kolbs in my Ergo and Sage sits in the cart. It is kind of a pain since when we get there I have to take Kolby's shoes off and then put him in the carrier so that he can have his shoes off some other part of the day also.

Sage gets annoyed with Kolby on a regular basis. For example, if Kolby's leg drifts toward Sages when they are in the stroller, Sage yells "Holby, no touch you!" Or if Kolby's hand drops over the edge of his car seat and happens to touch a toy of Sages that was not previously being played with or even cared that it was there he yells "Holby, no!" Now Sage has been kicked by Kolby in the stroller while Kolby was wearing his bar so he probably is a little extra sensitive. And since I have been on the receiving end of those kicks, I can understand why he is extra careful! I do have bruises on my legs.

I have a new friend, actually lots of new friends! But one, I really click with. She is down to earth and has a nine month old little boy. We plan on swapping kids and getting together as often as possible! And we relate to each other really easily.

God is so good, he is moving our best friends that we had here away and he immediatly filled the gaping hole that they would have left.

I went to a partners lunch for Drew's school today and the one comment that sticks in my head is "Remember it will get better, fall semester is really tough on these students." 2 more years, 2 more years, 2 more years. And "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Actually, I will be leaning more on Him and He will drag me through!

First Meme

ABC's from Rachie

A is for age:
27

B is for booze of choice:
vodka or rum, anything that mixes to make a sweet drink

C is for career:
stay at home mom, assistant property manager (seems like a long, long time ago)

D is for your dog's name:
no dog yet, but someday Corbu after the architect Le Corbusier

E is for essential items you use/love everyday:
computer, mascara

F is for favorite song(s) at the moment: "Flip Flops" by Paul Wright

G is for favorite games:
peek a boo

H is for hometown:
I'm paranoid about internet stalkers

I is for instruments you play:
none, I wish piano and violin or fiddle

J is for jam or jelly you like:
raspberry jam

K is for kids:
Sage, 2 and Kolby 5 months

L is for last kiss:
Gave: Sage Received: Drew

M is for most admired trait:
integrity

N is for name of your crush:
Drew

O is for overnight hospital stays:
having Sage, having Kolby, stayed with Kolby while he was being observed after falling off the bed at 2 months old

P is for phobias:
snakes

Q is for quotes you like: "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." Ralph Waldo Emerson

R is for biggest regret:

comparing myself to others, not being comfortable in my skin, but getting better

S is for sweets of your choice:

chocolate

T is for time you wake up:
7:00

U is for underwear:
Victoria's Secret cotton bikini

V is for vegetables you love:
corn

W is for worst habit:
procrastination

X is for x-rays you've had:
wrist when I fractured it

Y is for yummy food you make:
chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake, cupcakes

Z is for zodiac sign:
Taurus

Now you know my ABCs... Won't you play along with me!
Do it on your blog and then leave me a comment that you did it.

4 month check up

So, as you can see, Kolby is almost 5 months! But we had his 4 month well baby check up today.

Weight: 19 pounds 11 ounces putting him... off the charts!
Height: 25 inches putting him in the 40%

Creative Memories

I have had creative memories stuff (scrapbooking supplies) since I was a senior in high school. My mom and I started because we wanted to get stuff together for my high school graduation. Like a baby book. I started a book about high school and never finished it. I wish it was done, but someday...

Mom became a consultant. I kept thinking how many albums and pictures I have to scrapbook. It does make sense, it is fun and I love to look at picture albums that she had made of some family vacations. Then I had Sage.

I had always vowed that I wouldn't be like my mom. That I would finish all my kids' baby books. We bought a great digital camara and my husband was picture happy. We have a bazillion gazillion pictures of Sage as a baby. And I have barely started that album. Pictures are printed, too many to fit in one album and I always feel overwhelmed.

Then Kolby was born. I haven't finished Sage's one year baby book and now I have two kids! And he was born with club foot. Of course, right away I wanted to make a special scrapbook of Kolby's feet. When I was home in July, I picked out an album, 8 x 10, denim, with natural pages. I was excited and my scrapbooking sense was renewed! I went through the pictures and printed them off at Sam's club.

I have started and am not up to date yet, but close on Kolby's Foot Book. It is really cool. I am a plain scrapbooker. Pictures, paper and a lot of writing. Every page is with a different primary color. Red, green and blue to start. And of course, the pen matches the paper.

When I put it away today after nap time. I was overcome with thankfullness to my mom. She has given me something that I can pass down to my kids. Something special. Something that only I can give them. And I now have a scrapbooking passion! For now, it will remain in my dining room and someday I will have a scrapbooking room.

Thanks mom!

Breastfeeding

I breastfeed. In public. In my house. In my car. Where ever we happen to be, I breastfeed Kolby. I am not ashamed or embarassed. I discreetly whip it out. I rarely use a blanket. I wear an Isabelly cover. It looks like a tank top that stops right under the bra leaving your nursing bra available. I wear one almost everyday. It makes nursing anywhere easier. I don't use a blanket because my back and side are not exposed to the world. And Kolbys head is large enough to cover everything else!

I am not embarrassed when other women breastfeed. It is normal, natural and a lot easier than bottles. I nursed Sage until he was 9 months old and then weaned him to formula and a bottle. I had to think about how long I would be gone and take the appropriate bottles and formula. I probably should have been taking water too. When I nurse, it doesn't matter how long I am going to be gone. I just take a couple diapers. And when Kolbs is hungry, I feed him. It is easy. I know not everyone has an easy time of breastfeeding, but I do.

Now, I am not saying this is all roses. Because every rose has thorns. Kolby is with me all the time. I am the only one who can feed him. Sometimes, comfort him. And sometimes, that feels suffocating. He does take a bottle veeerrryyy slowly, but he will take it and I am blessed to have a patient husband to feed him, about once a week when I leave the house without the kids.

And, right on time, Kolby cries because he is hungry and I will go nurse him!

Andrea Yates

Andrea Yates got a not guilty verdict by reason of insanity. It seems obvious that she is/was insane. Is that an excuse? Does that mean she is less guilty? Wrong is wrong. Murder is murder. It shouldn't matter what her state of mind was. It is so sad and will continue to be so sad for the rest of her life. And she is the one who has to live with the guilt the rest of her life. Would you feel more guilty for "getting away" with it rather than being punished? Or is living in her torment punishment enough?

My Favorite

Do you ever play the my favorite game with your spouse? We played yesterday. It is amazing how much we learn about each other just asking what our favorite things are.

Favorite State: His- Minnesota Mine- Colorado (so I have only been there once, but in my mind it is the perfect state)

Favorite Color: His- Black Mine- Green, pink, blue or black (not all together, one at a time, except black, black goes with everything and can be worn all the time)

Favorite Book: the duh factor- Bible for both, non-Bible His: Three Muskateers (who knew?!) Mine: No idea

Favorite Movie: His- the second Lord of the Rings Mine: again, no idea

Favorite Candy: His- 3 Muskateeers Mine- M&M's plain

And as an add on to yesterday's post, Mia Hamm and Kristi Yamaguchi, both born with club foot!

Boyz II Men

We saw them in concert last night. It was the boys first concert! It was free, like we would actually pay to see them! We forgot the camara, of course. We got there and sat in the rain for almost an hour. They are great singers, not so great entertainers. After an hour of sitting in the rain, we had to tell ourselves it was fun!

Troy Aikman, who knew?

Did you know that Troy Aikman had club foot? "Troy Aikman was born with what doctors call "Thrid Club Foot", Troy was in plaster till he was 8 months old, then he wore speical shoes till he was 3 years old, since then he has not suffered from any form of Club Foot." Quote taken from clubfeet.net. An interesting web site that I stumbled upon after googling club foot. So maybe Kolby is going to be like Troy Aikman. He is big enough to be a football player!

Kolby giggles now. He is such a happy baby! I remember not too long ago writing about how much he cries! He still cries but not nearly as much. It is much better for my sanity!

Drew is at work today, for the 11th day in a row. Basically, we got back from vacation and he has been working everyday since. I did get to go out the other night. It was so nice to have a break from the boys and talk to grown ups. And Drew said the boys were angels. And it took him until 9:30 to get the dishes done and have time for himself after getting the boys to bed and he didn't have to give anyone a bath!

2 Year Old Check Up

Sage is 2! And along with a birthday comes a trip to the pediatrician. He weighs 32lbs putting him in the 95th percentile for weight and is 35 in. tall which is the 75th percentile for height. He gained 4 lbs in the last 6 months! She said that is a big jump, has there been an increase in appetite? Ya think?! Since he eats a kids meal at restaurants and can eat as much as me? And then she looked at porker Kolby and just smiled.

Sage is so sweet. At the mall the other day (escaping the heat of our apartment), I got him out of the stroller and had him stand next to me while I got the high chair ready. He was supposed to hold my leg so I knew where he was and he wouldn't run off. I felt him let go and turned around to see what he was doing. He was leaning over Kolby, kissing his head. Precious. His new word yesterday was "Hollllbbbeeee". I interpret that as Kolby, finally Baby has a name! And Sage is very protective of Kolby. As we had driven to the mall, Sage had falled asleep. I got the stroller out, set it up, put Kolby in and Sage slept on. I got Sage out of the car and as I lifted him into the stroller he said, "Baby?" Making sure that I remembered to get Kolby too. I have yet to forget but he always makes sure that I get him.

The boys took their first bath together. I put Kolby's baby bath in the big tub and filled both up. Sage thought it was pretty cool to bathe with Kolby.

Sage also says cool, sounds like cooohh. And dude, duuuu. He is talking a lot and always asks for daddddyyy in the morning. When I tell him that daddy is at work, he says "Bike?" "Yes, daddy rode his bike." "Hat?" "Yes, daddy wore his bike hat." And then he says "Baby?"

The neighbors across the street bought Sage a kiddie pool for his birthday. We have been enjoying it a lot! Last night, Sage spent about an hour in it. We squirt water guns at each other and he will splash and even try to stick his head in the water. How do we teach him to close his mouth?

Sweet Sage. Sweet Kolby. My two favorite boys.

Today we went to my friends house, had lunch and played in the kiddie pool. Sage thought it was great fun. At first, the water was cold and I made him sit down and he cried and then quickly got over it. Of course, I left the camara at home! These are my best friends in the state that I live in, which you probably know but ahem anyway. They are moving. To Texas. I am so sad. I am happy for them because they will be much closer to family and have a wonderful job opportunity but am selfishly sad. I have only known them a year, but it seems like much longer. She is goofy and always makes me laugh and brings a smile to my face. I will miss them a lot. A lot. Tears are now in my eyes threating to spill. And they will move soon. By September 1. And they have 2 vacations to take before then. Time is precious to spend with them. I hope we get to see them often in the next month and a half.

Uh, hello. I forgot to tell you the exciting events that occurred for Sage's 2nd birthday! We went to Friendly's as a family. Sage cried as they sang Happy Birthday and Kolby screamed after they were done! Kolbs was tired though, not sad that they were done. But all was good when he realized they brought him ice-cream (Sage not Kolby, do you really think I would feed my 4 month old ice-cream). Then we came home and sang again, no crying this time and ate cupcakes. He blew out the candle perfectly. I can't get him to say two though. The icing had melted because it was about 8000 degrees in our house. It did that last year too. Someday, we will have central air and the icing on Sage's birthday whatever will not melt. We had considered taking him to Chuckee Cheese and then thought, why start that madness? We had considered having a party for him and again thought, why start that madness? He wouldn't know and would probably be rude to all invited.

Have I told you how rude he can be? It is amazing. And of course only to people we know. At the store, he says hi and bye to everyone. At church, no one and gives them an evil look and turns his face away from them. I talk to him a lot about being kind to everyone. It hasn't worked so far.

Vacation etc.

So, we went on vacation, to the midwest. We saw family and friends. Blah, blah blah. Seriously, it was really great and we loved every minute. Now we are home sufferring in the humidity with air conditioning only in our bedrooms.

As we left for vacation, Drew pulls the back door shut, CLICK, and asks
"Do you have your keys?"
"Nope, do you?"
"No, we just locked ourselves out."
"At least we have both kids!"

I look at Drew about to explode and say "We have to laugh and keep going."

The taxi honks out front waiting to take us to the train station. Drew starts walking down the driveway, Kolby is in the Baby Bjorn and Sage runs after his dada. And trips. And scrapes his knee. And cries. Drew doesn't look back. I scoop up Sage and continue rolling suitcase to the taxi.

The taxi and train ride are uneventful. The flight was pretty uneventful except that we sat on the runway for 2 hours. When we got to MN at 10pm that night, I said to Drew "Do you realize we were on the plane long enough to fly internationally? And the kids did great!"

Coming home, took 14.5 hours. Flight, bus, train, taxi. What some people will do for free airline tickets. Airtran.

Breastfeeding. There is your warning. I have been nursing Kolby for 4 months. We have had some problems, reflux but have overcome. Tonight, it seemed like he couldn't get enough. He nursed for a long time on both sides, long time for Kolbs is like 7 minutes per side, pulled off the second and cried. Normally, he would lay down and put himself to sleep. Tonight, he kept cried even after I gave him the pacifier. I picked him up to rock and and give him his passy. He stopped and then realized it was just the pacifier and SCREAMED. I fixed a bottle, he drank 2 ounces and fell asleep. Normally, I would have tried nursing him again, but it had been half an hour. And I have been really sore lately. Also, yesterday since we were travelling, he nursed whenever he made a peep because seriously no one likes a crying baby. I thought today I would be huge and uncomfortable and haven't been at all. Very strange. Thoughts?

Sage turns 2 tomorrow. 2. 2. Let me type it again, 2. Hopefully I can post how sweet he is. The sweetest. 2!

Do you ever feel like you can't do anything right?

Today at Target, Kolby wants to be held so I whip out the new sling and stick him in. Crying continues except louder. I take him out. Crying simmers. I face him outward. Crying stops. The rest of the Target trip I holding him on one hip, facing out trying to push the cart. Lately, I feel like the worlds worst mother. I am short with Sage and can't seem to keep Kolby happy. There are many factors entering this equation.

Factor 1: Kolby likes to be held. I like holding Kolby but when I hold him, little gets accomplished. Enter Baby Bjorn. It helps a lot. Kolby is happy, I am happy and able to get a little more accomplished. Kolby weighs about 17 lbs. That is a lot of weight on my shoulders in the Bjorn, too much weight. It hurts, it kills my back. Some chiropractor is going to make a lot of money off me someday. I start searching for other options. Remember, Kolby is in a Dennis Browne Splint 22 - 23 hours a day. I email a couple different companies asking for advice. Rockin Baby Slings emails back right away saying they think a sling could work. I order immediatly. Receive it yesterday. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't work, I insist to keep trying. It doesn't work. The snuggle hold which they suggested, keeps his bar in the sling and he kind of squats in the sling and is facing me. It is okay for about 5 minutes if I put him in happy then the crying starts. I think it might hurt his legs. I think I am going to send it back.

I had also emailed the Ergo company. They never got back to me. I don't think that one would work either.

I am stuck until Sept. 27th when we go to the doctor and supposedly Kolby can start wearing the bar only at night. And then any kind of carrier will work because he won't be wearing the bar.

Factor 2: Sage is almost 2 and his favorite word is no and he dawdles everywhere. Especially when I am carrying Kolby in the "break my arm" carrier. The thing that Sage is the worst at being obedient is when we say come here. He walks from our apartment to the garage. And sometimes does a really good job and comes right to the car but most of the time, he walks around the lot and looks at dirt and the trash cans and sticks and rocks and anything. I know it is his age but come on already. It takes 5 minutes just to get to the car. I would just carry him when I am in a hurry but I am already carrying Kolby, the diaper bag and whatever else we need for that particular trip.

Both of these things are wearing on me. A lot.

Good news? Kolby only woke up once last night to nurse! Sage has been going down for naps without crying! Sage also told me today that he was poopy! It is the little things in life.

Sage wears Pampers and they feature Elmo. So whenever we change his diaper, he says Melmo? And when we change Kolby's diaper, Melmo? Even though Kolby's diapers don't have Elmo on them.

Off to do more laundry!

Spinning and Spinning and Spinning some MORE

Today at Trader Joe's an older gentleman told me Sage is going to be a good skier because he is pigeon toed. Thank you old man. Sage the skier and Kolby the snowboarder.

Sage loves to spin. He will spin and spin until he is so dizzy he falls over. Example: Last night, he was spinning in the hallway, hit the wall and bounced off the opposite wall and fell over. He cried and got back up and started spinning. At the park today, there was something like a sit and spin. He loved it. He got off and couldn't walk. My fear is that one of us will have to take him on spinny rides at amusement parks. We'll have to play rock, paper, sissors.

Kolby can be such a good baby and such a difficult baby. It is like he has two personalities. As if to prove that point, he just started crying.

What is it with purple?

Sage just ate a purple crayon! I think I am so clever letting him color while I type and he thinks he is so clever eating markers and crayons! I was thinking of buying play doh, but maybe I will wait!

The other day I told Sage to go put his pajamas in his room. Later, I went in his room and didn't see them on the floor or his bed. I checked his pajama drawer and to my surprise, there they were! I didn't know he knew where to put them in his dresser. He learns so much by watching!

He doesn't like to get his diaper changed. He won't fight me changing it, but when I ask him if he needs it changed, especially when poopy, he says no and runs the other way. The other day, I thought I smelled something but he claimed he wasn't poopy and we played on. He was running and walking funny and I decided we needed to change his diaper. He had the worst rash ever! Now, I just have to say, we don't want you to get another diaper rash and he comes running for the change!

Every night, he wants the same two books read to him before bed. and My Big Book of Animals and Love You Forever. Neither Drew or I can read the second one without tearing up.

Kolby is getting so big and he is so happy and so smiley. He is waking up happy in the mornings now. He will look around and coo and smile. He still wakes up screaming from his naps, though. I worry that his head is getting too flat in the back, so I bought the Boppy Noggin Nest that is supposed to help prevent that. We use it in the swing, stroller, car seat and ssshhh, don't tell, but his bed too. Last night, we caught on video how Kolby pulls his knees in, kicks his legs staight up in the air and plops them down. It is pretty funny to watch since he wears the Dennis Browne Splint.

Sage just demonstrated that he can now open the garbage can with his foot! It is one that you step on the lever and it opens the top.

Drew has been working long days, like from 6 to 6 or there abouts, but he doesn't go back in the evenings unless it is completly necessary. I am loving having him home so much!

Sage got Drew a bat and ball for Fathers Day that we got to use at the park last night. Okay so maybe the bat and ball were for Sage and Drew gets to play too! Sage was getting the hang of it after about 10 minutes. His favorite part was chasing the ball while yelling, BBBBAAAALLLL!

Kolby had his appointment yesterday morning and the doctor said his feet look perfect. Everything is straightening out just like it is supposed to. They did the first x-rays of his feet. Kolby didn't like those so much. They have to hold his feet a certain way with plastic boards to get the picture right. We go back in 3 months when Kolby will get to stop wearing them during the day and wear them at night only.

I am going to get a pedicure tonight and Drew will be home with the boys. We'll see how Kolby does taking a bottle...

Non-Toxic

Good thing crayola makes non-toxic markers, Sage just bit the tip off the purple one.

I think we will put the markers away for a while, maybe until he is 5!

Sage stories

Yesterday, while I was nursing Kolby in our dining room, Sage was in the living room playing. Suddenly, he starts crying/whining (not unusual). But he keeps crying and I am yelling "Sage, what is the matter?" "Yeah." He yells back (his response to most questions). Finally I walk in the living room. He has the foot rest popped open on the recliner and has managed to get his arm stuck in between the boards with the foot rest half open. He had big tears running down his face but as soon as I got him unstuck, he was done crying.

Last night, he was outside in our "backyard" otherwise known as a parking lot in the back of our apartment. But we are the only ones who drive or park there. He was playing with one of those big balls. Throwing it, chasing it, repeat. Over and over again. He threw it, chased it, tried to pick it up, and missed his body twists around and he lands on his forehead on the ground. Immediatly he cries. His forehead and nose are scratched but nothing serious. Not even too much blood. I showed him in the mirror later and asked if it hurt to which he replied "Noo."

Kolby is sitting in his bouncy seat. Sage gives him a hug by laying on Kolby and giving him kisses and his feet are up in the air behind him!

Sage loves music. He loves to play his xylophone and sing! He uses toys as pretend microphones!

I want to start writing more of these because I so quickly forget!

2 Month Check up

Kolbster had his 2 month check up today even though he will be turning 3 months on Friday the 9th. He weighed in at 16lbs. 11oz. which puts him off the charts for weight, height is 25th percentile at 23.5 inches and head is 50th percentile. That is as exciting as the visit was. He got his first shots and screamed!

Sage fell asleep on the way home from the doctors and I carried him in, laid him down, took his shoes off, took his pants off, changed his diaper (which had leaked-pampers, not cloth), took off his jacket and then laid him in bed. I laid with him for about 5 minutes and he is still sleeping. He has been waking up really early lately like 6am. Last night he was up until 10pm. His naps have been getting earlier and earlier like noon. Yesterday morning I noticed he was really tired. He is getting to the age of meltdowns. At the park yesterday, someone brought one of those little cars you sit in and walk around. He LOVES these. And was so upset that he couldn't play with it because it wasn't his and someone else was playing with it at the time. Crying fit. We left. It was a hard park day. He was so excited to be there and we were walking in and he tripped on the bricks right through the entry gate. He smacked his face on the ground and got a bloody lip and nose. Then he was playing on this big see-saw type thing. It was a four seater, two kids on each side. He was by himself on one side and two 3 or 4 year olds were on the other. He decided he wanted to get off and started to slide himself forward under the safety bar. The kids kept going so his little body was getting bucked back and forth, back and forth. I was about 50 feet away with Kolbs in the Baby Bjorn running towards them yelling STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP. I felt like the freaky mom at the park.

Split Personalities

I have two different personalities when it comes to mothering. The first is the laid back, natural mothering style. I breastfeed, in public, where ever I happen to be and rarely with something covering the baby. I have started using cloth diapers. My baby is kind of on a schedule, kind of a nurse on demand baby. He sleeps in the swing for his naps, most of the time. The other mom is scheudled, disciplined, and routine driven. Sometimes I want Kolbster to drink formula from a bottle, take a passy like nobody's business, and wear only disposable diapers. And sleep only in his bassinet. It is like a battle going on everyday. I have given in to some things and others I haven't (like the bottle). Part of me figures, Kolbs is still little, he will settle into more of a routine in about a month and part of me is like it is my own fault, I don't always make him eat, have awake time and then sleep. Why haven't I figured out who I am yet, and why am I not always comfortable in my own skin? Why do I feel the need to try every option? For example, I have tried all brands of diapers, never loyal to one. And now, I had to try cloth diapering. I can't even tell you why I wanted to try. Maybe because I know people that do it and I wanted to try it too and maybe because it has always interested me so why not try or maybe because, if my mom can do it, surely I can too, maybe because it would save us money(?), maybe because it helps the environment, maybe because I wanted to try it.

Cloth diapering and saving money. I am not sure I buy that any more. We were doing the math and for the money I have invested I would have to cloth diaper exclusively for 6 months to make them break even with disposables. And that doesn't even get me enough diapers to do it full time. I have 12. (1 is defective and they are sending me another one) I have used 7 today by 3pm although one was because Kolby peed when his diaper was open and got the clean one wet. So, I am doing a mixture of cloth and disposables. Cloth around home and for short trips out and about. Disposables to fill in the gaps and when we will be gone for extended periods of time. And I am not brave enough to try cloth for overnight.

Kolbs has only poohed in one cloth diaper and it held it all in! This was going on the third day of no pooh action from him, so with that I am impressed.

Target diapers have worked great for Kolby. No leaks and they seem to fit great. Why didn't I try the ultra cheap brand of Target diapers before I bought cloth and why didn't I do the cloth math correctly before I bought cloth?

What is up with the weather? I can't keep up with it, first really hot shorts and t-shirts now we are back to low 60's.

Kolby's clothes. I need one piece outfits that snap in the crotch for him. I can't pull pants on and off because that requires taking his shoes and bar on and off and that takes too long and he doesn't especially like it. Although today after he peed on his socks and I changed them and put his shoes back on, he didn't cry at all! And now with this weird weather, I only have 2 long pants with short sleeve option for him. And that particular combination with snaps all along the legs is kind of hard to find.

A lot of times as I write, I think who cares about this stuff in my life, does anyone read this?

First Time For Everything

First ER Visit: Kolby fell off Sage's bed. I irresponsibly and stupidly laid Kolby at the foot of Sage's bed while I changed Sage's diaper. By the time I was done, Kolby was crying on the floor. The hardwood floor. He isn't even 3 months old. He is crying. Sage is crying. I am praying. I try to nurse him, he cries, he latches on, he falls asleep, immediatly. I try calling the doctor, Drew. No one answers. I put him in his car seat. He stays asleep. He always crys when I put him in his car seat or put him down. He prefers to be held. I decide to go to the ER. I call Drew approximatly 8,000 times. He finally calls. He will meet me at the ER.

The nurse takes Kolby back to get him started. Sage cries. He doesn't want his brother to leave. Drew walks in. We all go back with Kolby to get him weighed and looked over. We sit in the waiting room. We get taken to a room. He is doing better. Wide awake. Looking around. Smiling. We call our parents. They order a Cat Scan. We decide Drew and Sage will go home. I stay with Kolby. Cat Scan done. I finally nurse him. Cat Scan read. They see a small spot on one of the hundreds of pictures. They might want to keep him overnight to be safe. They take some blood and put in an IV. He screams. They want to watch him overnight. We wait for a room on the pediatric unit. I talk to the nurse and the doctor. Kolby sleeps. Cell phone keeps ringing. Finally, I can sleep. Kolby wakes up. Nurses one side. Falls asleep. Won't wake up. Rub water on his face. Call the nurse. Says she isn't worried since he ate on one side. Kolby wakes up every couple of hours. Long night. Drew calls at 7:15 and wakes me up. Kolby wakes up. He nurses. We get discharged by 10.

Long night, Kolby is back to normal. He is supposed to avoid activities that might cause head trauma.

I remember one or two, now three!

Disappointment: I wish that I could carry Kolbster in a sling. There, I said it. That is one thing I am disappointed about with his club foot. Silly, huh? I think he would like it because he loves to be held and always wants to be held. But having a metal bar in between his feet is a little cumbersome. And I am not going to apologize for being disappointmed about this because he could have something else wrong and this isn't that big of a deal, this is just something that I am still having a hard time with. And I do use the Baby Bjorn and am glad to wear it and use it but man the thing can hurt my back! I have a heavy baby! But man is he cute!

He has learned to kick with his bar on. Which means sitting on my lap, his bar is rubbing up and down on my thigh. Not too great with shorts on!

Beach: We went to the beach this weekend and had so much fun! Kolby was happy most of the time, laying on the blanket looking around and Sage wanted to only be down by the water, picking up the sand and throwing it into the ocean. He even ran in to the ocean up to his waist and liked it! It was cold water though!

Dipaers: Ever tried the Target brand? I will let you know. I am trying them for Kolby next. And I am going to try cloth diapering. Yeah, you read correctly. I ordered some from Motherease. My biggest scared factor is the laundry (doing it all the time). I'll let you know how that goes too.


I have the two cutest boys in the whole world! Yes, they are both sleeping, why do you ask?

BIG BOY BED: Sage sleeps in one! We started this weekend with a nap and the next day put him to bed for the night. He does okay. He wasn't excited to sleep there but he is doing pretty good. The worst part is that now I have to get him up right away or he starts playing with the window air conditioner unit. He can reach it from the end of his bed. He knows he isn't allowed to get off his bed unless one of us comes to get him. Last night was the hardest so far. We host a Bible study at 7:30 and try to get him to bed before people arrive. But we were late eating and then late getting his bath and late getting him to bed. At one point, Drew went in and put him back to bed because he was crying and we just wanted to be sure that he was in bed. After he laid him down again, Sage kept crying, so I went in to check on him and he was laying in the middle of the floor with his arms in his pajamas but the neck was behind his neck. He was stuck in his shirt with his arms straight above his head! It was a funny sight. I brough him out with me and then laid with him until he fell asleep.

I told him that in a few months, Kolby would start sleeping in the crib and they would share a room and he shook his head no.

I had a whole list of things I was going to write but of course now that I am sitting here, I can't remember them. I'll get back to you if I remember.

New Look

I needed a new spring time look, maybe this will stick for a little while. For some reason, black is my favorite color in the winter but not so much come spring and summer. I need color and something to spice up my world!

We love parks at our house! We go to a park almost everyday and everyday I am amazed at how long we can spend at a park. Sage is really good at climbing everything and sliding and swinging. Yesterday, was his first experience in a sand box. He really like shoveling and dumping! I can't wait to take the boys to the beach! (Except that requires me to be in a swim suit.)

We had two rough nights with Kolby adjusting to his splint. Last night was more normal, but man am I tired! 6 hours of total sleep with getting up every 2 is not my idea of a restful night. And the hubby wonders why I am addicted to Coke! I keep it at one a day. Yesterday, I gave Kolby his second real bath of his life! He loved it. He is so cute! And getting so smiley. He really likes to be held. I remember Sage at this age not really caring. I could set him in the bouncy or swing for hours and he was happy. At least long enough to get a shower. Kolby cried while I showered this morning and then right as I was finishing, he stopped!

What a boring post. I will have to think more creatively. Any suggestions?

Dennis Browne Splint

Yesterday, Kolby got his casts off for the last time! He is now wearing a Dennis Browne Splint 23 hours a day, 7 days a week until he is 6 months old. So, until December. His feet are super sensitive since they have been in casts 10 out of 11 weeks of his life. Yesterday he wanted to be held all the time. If he wasn't in someones arms, he was screaming. Hopefully today will be better. He is actually sleeping in the swing and I got to take a shower so already the day is off on a positive note.

Putting the shoes on his little feet is hard. Yesterday, his right foot slipped out twice. Two moms who were in the office with kids who had bilateral club foot said that if Kolby can keep these splints on then we should be golden. They had trouble with their kids getting them off and so one foot didn't correct like it should have.

Last night was rough with Kolby waking up every 2 hours. It was hard to know when to feed hime and when to try to comfort him, I ended up comforting him with nursing! And it is more difficult for him to nurse laying down next to me now. The first time, it made him very angry and the second time he got it. Everything is an adjustment right now and I know this is for the best for the future but it is hard! Especially when he is screaming and hard to console. Yesterday afternoon, I did nothing but hold him.

It will be interesting taking him out in public and hearing comments/questions. One mom said adults didn't say anything about it and didn't comment on how cute he was or anything. It made her feel bad. I don't know if I would say something if I didn't know what it was. There is always a balance between being rude on either side.

Solution or lack thereof

I took Kolby to the dr. this morning, it has finally stopped raining so we got out and walked there and back. With stops on the way back at Starbucks (love me some java chip frapaccino), the library, and the bank. The walk was wonderful. I feel so much better today. And I love getting out and using our stroller which I love!

So, the dr. basically confirmed that it is reflux and that it is very normal in babies until 7 months of age. She said we could try zantac but she does not love to give medication to such little babies. I am not a fan of that either. She also said we could try thickening his meals which would require pumping and adding cereal. I am not a fan of that either since giving babies solids too early can cause problems later on like diabetes and allergies or so the purists say. Anyway, I am also not a fan of pumping and then giving a bottle, that sounds very time consuming when I am with him all the time. She also said that there is not a formula that would be gentler on his stomache than breastmilk. So I am going to continue nursing and do nothing about his reflux except try to comfort him. My time at the dr. seems like a waste but it was encouraging to hear that he will grow out of it... in 5 months! Sounds short and long all at the same time!

Thanks for everyones comments and posts. Rach, talking to you yesterday really lifted my spirits! Sorry, I seem to have scared people with talking about how sad I have been. Honestly, today things are looking up. Maybe a brisk walk every morning would do us all some good! And i am looking forward to updating the blog more often. And get back to some lighter topics, like spanking! Just kidding. I can not handle mean emails right now!

Fussy Baby

Kolby is a fussy baby. I don't know if I would classify him as high needs like Dr. Sears, but fussy. He is the fussiest during and after I nurse him. It has been this way since about 2 weeks old, right after my mom left (of course). Sometimes while nursing he will pull off, arch his back and scream. There is no way to console him, just hold him until he is done screaming. Sometimes, he will latch back on and sometimes he will bop his head around and act like he wants to get back on but won't really then start crying again. I switch sides and sometimes he will latch on there and sometimes will bop his head around and not really nurse again. Sometimes he will suck a couple more times and start crying again. Needless to say, this is very frustrating for myself, Kolby and Drew. I had taken him to the pediatrician for his cradle cap and mentioned it to the resident pediatrician then and he advised to cut milk out of my diet. But he didn't ask any questions about it and didn't seem to care too much. Anyway... we are going tomorrow and hopefully they can watch him nurse and hopefully it will be one of the bad times and they can help us. The triage nurse I spoke with seemed quick to diagnose him with reflux although uncommon in nursing babies. She suggested they might have me bottle feed him expressed milk and add rice cereal to help keep it down. She said what might be happening is the milk is coming back up into his esophagus and causing him pain. His cry definitly seems like a pain cry but at the same time, he will often fart or burp and then quit crying also. It seems to me like it would be more of a gas issue than reflux, but I am not a nurse or doctor. I hope the dr. can help us tomorrow because I am feeling at the end of my rope with nursing. I don't want to quit, I would feel like a failure but if his stomache can handle a formula better... It would make for a happier household. I don't know. Then I start second guessing myself and tell myself his fussiness is normal, which is why it has taken me so long to call the pediatrician in the first place. As a mom I feel guilty and depressed a lot lately. I feel like everything that I do for my kids is not good enough or enough. I feel like if I give up nursing, I am a failure to me sweet baby. I feel like I fail Sage everyday by not playing with him enough. I am having a hard time and can't put my finger on why. I wake up with headaches everyday.

Mom, if you are reading this from Florida, please call. I know you are busy with your parents, but I need some reassurance that I am doing the right thing. And I might just need to cry...again.

Happy Mama

That is what Sage tells me today. So cute.

I am thinking about using gdiapers. Has anyone used them? I have always considered cloth but am put off by the amount of laundry. These seem like a good alternative. They look like a cloth diaper but you flush the liner and all that goes with it. It interests me because it is better for the environment. Not sure the hubby will go for it though.

Kolby is one week and 2 days away from being cast free! Then he will wear a brace all the time until he is six months old.

It seems like I will have posts floating around in my head and I finally get a moment to sit and type and poof they are gone. This blog has been relatively boring lately and with few and far between posts. I had a post the other day that then got lost in cyberspace.

I have been having a hard time adjusting to two babies. On one hand, I feel like I have things under control and on the other, I feel like I am drowning and struggling to get one more breath and somehow I get one more breath and start sinking again.

I celebrated my birthday last week, I am now in my upper twenties, 27 to be exact. We went to dinner last night just me and hubs to celebrate. Ruby Tuesday for an awesome burger and fries. That is one of my favorite meals. Ice cream would have made it complete but it was chilly so we opted for a hot chocolate from Starbucks, another favorite! It was so weird not putting babies into car seats or feeding anyone else but myself. Kolby was good so I feel more comfortable/confident leaving him. And I had such a great time with Drew. We laughed and talked about our future and what that might look like. And we laughed. It was a great birthday dinner.

Ahhh Breath out

Both boys are sleeping. I feel my body relax as I tell myself not to think about what I should do and do what I want to do while they sleep.

Kolby is a great nurser but he seems to have a lot of gas. Sometimes while I am feeding him, he will pull off and scream and poop or fart. It makes nursing him not relaxing and not always a comfort thing for him like it should be. It kind of worries me and kind of not. I asked the dr. and he said stop drinking milk because I don't have to drink it to make it. Idiot. Duh. I haven't really done that because I have still been eating dairy.

I met a friend at the mall for lunch today. In the elevator, I rode with a couple who had an 18 month old girl and a 6 week old boy. She looked amazing! Anyway, later, I wished that I had talked to her more, asked her name, maybe for her phone number so we could have a mommy date. Is that weird? I just don't have many mommy friends here and I would love to have more and don't know how to meet/find them. I am in a moms club but haven't really clicked with anyone.

I feel guilty a lot. Guilty because I don't do things enough or right. I didn't feel this way with just Sage but now I feel it a lot. I haven't written in Kolby's journal that we bought for him. I haven't even put together his baby book. Sage stays in his crib for an hour in the morning before I get him up, because I want more sleep. I am always behind on the laundry. Making dinner is hard. Kolby cries a lot. I don't hold him enough. Sage doesn't get enough one on one attention. Will I ever feel less guilty? I also feel selfish. I want time for myself. I want Kolby to sleep through the night. I want to switch Kolby to formula, maybe that would help his gas issues. It is almost like I look for reasons to quit breastfeeding. And on the other hand, I love it. It is so conveniant, easy and always ready. But I am the only one who can feed him. I want to leave my boys with a sitter for the night. But I feel guilty that Kolby might cry a lot. And he will need me. And I don't want someone else to have to deal with his crying.

I don't feel like myself lately. I feel different. I don't know. It is weird. I feel like I want to be somebody else. But who? I feel tired and lonely.

My friend might move this summer. My one good friend here. Then what will I do? Why is having/making friends so hard? I have an awesome friend from third grade. She understands everything. Why can't we live in the same place?

Kolby has started to smile. He is so cute and so chubby! His cheeks are huge. We get lots of comments on his cheeks. He gets these last casts off on the 23rd. There are so many unknowns with the brace that will come. I don't know how often I can take it off. To change his diaper? How easy will it be for him to wear socks, shoes, pants, feeted pajamas? Does it have to be on his feet or over socks? I just need to be patient but have so many questions. And I know we will get a lot more questions with the brace than we do with the casts. A lot of people don't notice them. Especially since he wears pants all the time or is in his car seat with his legs covered. Can I still use the Baby Bjorn with him?

Now I better go do...

SAHM

Why is it that I love being a stay at home mom but I don't like to stay home? In the morning, I think about what I am going to do and where I am going. I am not usually content to stay home. I joined a moms club that plans activities for us to do with our kids. There are usually 2 mornings or afternoon events per week. Since I moved here a year ago, that has been a great way to meet people and an easy way to get out of the house. It was easier when I only had Sage. Now, it seems like every event is at exactly the same time as when Kolby needs to eat. This morning, I plannned to feed him when we got there, except, I got lost and we never got there. So, I ended up driving around for an hour. That doesn't exactly count as getting out of the house to me. Sage fell asleep so maybe it was worth it!

Some days, I love to stay in my pajamas and clean the house but then by the afternoon, I am ready to get out and sometimes it doesn't work with nap schedules, nursing and needing to figure out and make dinner.

Some days, I feel so lazy because I don't want to clean or cook and then I remind myself that if my kids are clean and fed I am doing my job and most everything else can wait until tomorrow! Except dinner, dinner can never wait for tomorrow and I dislike having to plan and cook for it. I don't know why. I think because it is at the end of the day and I am ready to be done for the day. And I hate grocery shopping and figuring out what to make all the time.

Some days, when it is finally sunny instead of raining, I want to stay inside and not go anywhere. Why? I am just weird. I feel lonely so I stay home and type on the computer.

Some days, I feel so guilty for not playing with Sage more. I should be teaching him and playing with him all the time. I try but at the same time he plays by himself a lot and that is good too. Every kid needs to learn to play by themself too. So many things to make me feel guilty. Guilt to be a better mom and wife. Keep the house cleaner, make better dinners, give healthier snacks, healthier meals, not drink Coke, the list goes on and on.

Internet in da house

Kolby pictures! The far left we were at a park and the only way he wasn't screaming was in his car seat being bounced. The second is sleeping on mom and dads bed!



We finally have our computer back! It is a long story, but thanks to Geek Squad we are back up and running.

Kolby had his surgery yesterday. They cut his heal cords and recast his legs. He will wear these casts for 3 weeks and then we start the brace treatment. The surgery went perfectly. We took Sage with us and he did great with all the waiting. Grandma had sent some tools for him to play with and we got him some of his own keys which were a big hit! I highly recommend them, they are Parents brand and he loves them!

Kolby will be 8 weeks, Thursday. Time flies! He was weighed yesterday before surgery with casts on and he was 15 lbs. 2 oz, so probably without casts, 14 lbs. He is chubby! It will be funny to see him without casts, they just seem a part of who he is! And his legs will be so skinny! His top thigh chubs out around the cast, it looks pretty funny!

Hopefully now I will get to post more, but still keep my house as clean. Funny how clean it has been since we haven't had internet!

Places I want to visit

This will in no way be a comprehensive list, but I need to write them down or I will forget.

Maine
D.C.
Boston
Seattle
Hawaii

For some reason, I have been thinking about trips that I want to take with my family. The top 3 are places that we should go before we move away from the east coast. Which brings me to another question, where do I want to live? Ideally, I don't know. There are so many factors. Family being the biggest factor. Both of our families live in the midwest. We both grew up there. We like it there, but we will probably not live close enough to either family for them to babysit for us on a regular basis. So, do I decide that driving distance is good enough? Or do we want to live farther away and then make our vacations to see relatives? Not that those aren't good vacations, there are just more places that I want to see and experience and places I want my kids to see.

I still feel lonely some days. But then I think about the fact that we probably wouldn't live close enough to family that I could call someone and say meet me here or come hang out at my house for the afternoon. It puts a different perspective on things and makes me realize that I have to be content no matter where we live. I wonder if we will live in the same city for many years like our parents did. Benefits are family friends. I have family friends who are like family. You know the kind that you are so comfortable around? You look forward to seeing them and you don't even have to talk although most of the time, you have so much to say about nothing because you pick up where you left off last time. Will we make our own family friends? Have we already made some? Probably yes to both questions. We will make some in each place we live, and have already made some that will remain friends forever. Friends, you drop in on when you are in town.

My baby is crying so I better go. Last night, he went from 9:30 to 3:30! I don't think Sage did that until like 4 months! Maybe Kolby will be a good sleeper at night.

My in-laws leave tomorrow so I will be off line until our computer is fixed. Good-bye outside world! I hope to be back up and running soon!

Patience

Sage is learning patience. The hardest time for him is when dinner is in front of him, his plate is fixed, but we haven't prayed yet. We have recently started to make him wait to start eating until after we pray. This particular evening, he was very hungry. Sage was sitting in his chair waiting for us. He pointed to his plate and said peas (please). I told him he needed to wait for the rest of us and we needed to pray first. He promptly folded his hands babbled some Sage babble and then said "Men!" (amen) meaning he had prayed and was ready to eat! So cute and so funny! He still had to wait for the rest of us.

I'm Back!

So, I am back in the blogging world. Our motherboard in our computer fried and hasn't been fixed yet. Fortunatly, my in-laws are here visiting and brought a lap top!

Kolby is doing great. He is a pretty good baby. His fussy time is in the evening, from about 6 to 10. He cries a lot and I usually end up nursing him a lot. He seems pretty gassy and I have cut back on chocolate, thinking that might help. I haven't noticed too much of a difference.

His feet are healing very nicely. He has been cast every Tuesday for the last 4 weeks. We skipped this week since the doctor is on vacation. He will be cast next week and then May 1, will have his heal cords cut in surgery and then wear the last cast for 3 weeks. Sometime around the 21st of May, he will get those off and start wearing the brace all the time until he is 6 months old and then at night until he is 4. The doctor said the brace is the hardest part of the treatment since it is so easy to take off. It is amazing to see the difference when his casts come off, his feet are straight and look more normal. I still can't post pictures since they are all on our hard drive. But someday, I will show you before, during and after pictures.

Sage is doing really great. He is such a sweet boy. He likes to give Kolby hugs and kisses and sometimes requests to hold him. He gets a little jealous when I am nursing Kolby but gets over it when he can watch tv. So, now he watches too much tv! He is talking more and more. Not all words are understandable, but he is trying. Last night, he was sitting in his chair for dinner and I had his plate fixed so the food would cool down. He asked for it and I said we need to wait for everyone and pray first and then we can eat the food. He promptly folded his hand, said some undecernable words, said men for Amen and looked at me like okay, I prayed. It was so cute. He understands so much of what we say it is amazing! And he loves to hide from us. He will go into the dark bathroom and hide behide the shower curtain when it is bathtime. And he will go in our closet and shut the door so we can't find him. He also really likes to hide under blankets but he thinks if his head is covered, we can't see him, so usually his body is uncovered. He also covers his eyes with his hands and then uncovers them and says boo! Too cute.

Anyone have a great diaper bag? Mine is too small for two kids. It has to be a messenger or back pack style.

Also, a swing? Ours is the cheapest one from Target and it keeps coming apart. It makes me nervous that Kolby is going to fall out!

It is good to be back and hopefully our computer will be up and running soon!

Update

I tried posting pics of Kolby again and again, blogger is failing me.

I feel so behind in everything, email, phone messages, blog, everything.

Kolby got his first casts on his feet for his club feet on Friday. We went to the Yale Hospital and decided that we probably won't go back. It is a teaching hospital and we have poor people insurance so Kolby would see a different resident and a different doctor every week to get recasted. So, we are going to go to Connecticut Childrens Hospital about 45 minutes away. But, there, Kolby will see the same dr. and one whom we understand to be an expert in the Ponsetti method for treating club foot.

The ironic thing, Dr. Ponsetti has done all of his studying at the University of Iowa. We moved from Iowa right before we got pregnant with Kolby. For about 5 minutes, we considered, me and the boys going to Iowa and staying with my parents while Kolby was treated there. It could be 3 months of weekly castings. Probably not such a great thing for our family. We also decided that God has us here for a reason and we want to trust Him and be wise in our decision making.
Sage is doing really well with Kolby. He likes to get in front of his face and say hi, hi, hi in a high pitched voice. And of course, shove the passi into his face. He will gently and sometimes not so gently pet Kolby's head. He makes a funny face when Kolby makes a squeak or cries.

Kolby is a perfect baby. He eats every 2 1/2 to 3 hours during the day and will go 4 or 5 hours at night. He rarely cries and he seems to be doing really well with these casts. Right now, his casts only go up to his knees but on Wed. he will get recasted up to his thighs. I cried as the dr. put them on. I don't know why. I know it is best for him, I guess just seeing my small, sweet boy with casts makes me sad.

Well, I want to write more, but I need to go hang some laundry and 8 million other things that need to get done.

March 9, 2006

Kolby entered the world weighing 7lbs 14oz and 20 in. He was born at 11:15pm after they broke my water an hour earlier. I had INTENSE contractions for 45 minutes and pushed for 6 minutes. It was the longest hour of my life so far! But, I have to say, if I had to choose a short, hard labor or a long, hard labor, I would choose the first!

He is so sweet and perfectly healthy. He has a birth defect called club feet. The treatment is castings beginning this Friday. He will have to get castings every 1 to 2 weeks for 6 to 12 weeks. We don't know a whole lot. We have read some on the internet, but are trying not to drive ourselves crazy with too much information. It is very correctable.

So far, he is such a good baby. He sleeps really well at night and wakes up about every 3 hours to eat. We are having issues with where he sleeps at night, but it could be a lot worse, like not sleeping!

Pictures to come soon, blogger isn't cooperating!

37 Weeks and 5 days

Still pregnant!

Weight: 173.5
Dialated: 6cm
Effaced: 80%

I asked her to check me, she wasn't going to but I thought I would be too curious later. I was nervous that I would be disappointed. I did dialate another cm, but she had a really hard time saying what she thought it was because the baby's head is right there. She was trying to measure around the baby's head to see how dialated I am. She said this baby is going to slip right out and I shouldn't even push.

I am a little nervous since I am not in labor and so dialated. She said to call them when I am having contractions 10 minutes apart. How does she know that I will even have contractions? I haven't yet. And she implied that we should be pretty speedy about getting to the hospital or we might be delivering at home. If the baby comes at home, we just need towels and then wait for the ambulance to come, right? There is a fire station like 2 blocks from our house, so they would probably arrive first. Aaaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh. Just the unknowns of delivering a baby drives me crazy.

We are planning on going walking at the mall tonight to see if we can get things going. I feel so nervous for this baby to come. I want to live my life normally and go places like always, and then wonder if that is foolish because this baby might just slip right out. But at the same time, I could walk around like this for another 2 weeks. I wish they would induce me. Just break my water.

Hard at Work

Drew and Sage are putting the dresser together for the baby. It is the last thing that needs to be done, besides, transferring the clothes into the dresser.

I cleaned the apartment today, so tomorrow I need to go grocery shopping then we will be completly ready at any moment and I will feel okay about coming home to a semi clean home and some food. And Drew and Sage will have food to eat while I am away!

37 Weeks

Here it is... the latest belly picture.

Nothing much is going on. Yesterday morning, I had quite a few Braxton Hics but unfortunatly, it turned into nothing. Today there has been little to no activity.

36 weeks and 6 days

Weight: 169
Measurement: 34
Dilation: 5cm
Station: +1

Pretty uneventful dr. visit. I was hoping to get sent to the hospital, no such luck. She was pretty amazed that I was 5cm and not in labor.

On another note, my H's are doing a lot better. Not completly better, but a lot more liveable.

And a completly different note, Sage no longer colors, he eats the crayons. I have noticed lately that his favorite book is "My Big Book of Rescue Heros" so we bought him "My Big Book of Animals". And he has suddenly developed cradle cap or dandruff. And the cradle cap treatment by Baby Orajel stinks. Literally and figuratively. It hasn't helped and it makes his hair really greasy.

What a random post. The things on my mind? Having this baby, getting to the hospital (Drew still doesn't know how to get there, do you think that is going to be a fun conversation when I am in labor?) and Sage. He is so sweet. He gives kisses without being asked. And when I say can you say love you, he gives me a kiss.

New words: apple, banana (naaaa), and more (moooo) For some reason, most of his words are only the first sylable.

Surprise!

Today, a package arrived from FedEx for Sage and Baby. The outside said Phil & Teds. I couldn't believe my eyes. I knew it was the double stroller we have been looking at but hadn't purchased yet. I called Drew and asked him what he did. He was very confused and said nothing. I asked again, what did you do. He said nothing. I told him we just got a package that says Phil & Teds on it. He said "what?" I said did your parents do this? He said "I know nothing." I opened the packing slip and it said bill to a friend from church (but her name was actually printed). We are both shocked and incredibly grateful. It is amazing. Drew called her husband, and he said, how did you know it was us. They had tried to get their name taken off the packing slip so it would be annonymous. It is really cool because Drew and I saved some money that we received for Christmas to put toward the stroller and were hoping to be able to buy the entire stroller as a gift. And then it landed on our door step! Why does God take care of the silly material possesions that we want?

Ultrasound says...

36 weeks and 2 days along. Which everyone here says is full term.

6lbs. 14 oz.

Everything looks good and since he could still gain 1/4 to 1/2 lb. per week, no problems with a small baby.

Next appointment is Friday, hopefully, I will be more dialated and closer to delivery. Everything would be fine to wait longer but the fact that I can't sit, stand or walk without being in pain is getting really old. Sage is restless because we have gone so few places, as am I. But if this is the worst thing in my pregnancy, I should be grateful. Should be and being grateful, two different things!

Baby Update

Weight: 169
Measured: 32
Heartrate: 120

So, there are some things going on this time. First of all, I am measuring small with no growth from last time and a drop in my weight. She said by what she can feel she would estimate I have a 7 lb. baby right now. To be on the safe side, we are doing an ultrasound on Monday to make sure there is no reason that the baby might have stopped growing or anything. She didn't seem too concerned but wanted to be sure.

Secondly, she checked me since she did the group B strep test and said that I am 4 cm dilated and 40% effaced. So, I went and bought diapers and all the little stuff that I had been putting off. We could now bring home a baby and have everything, I think!

Thirdly, I have hemroids. Really bad. She had a surgeon come look at them and he said it might cause more complications to do anything to them now since I am so close to delivery and prescribed Lydocaine, a numbing medication. But my diagnosis on this med is that is a joke and not helping at all. So, basically, I am going to be in pain until I deliver. I was also told that I need to be laying down on my side as much as possible. Since that is the only position that offers a little relief, that is what I have been doing. But, I also need to get things done around here. Like caught up on bills, laundry and cleaning. I don't want to come home to a disaster of a house!

Unfortunatly, Drew is super busy at school until next Thursday when they have the midterm review. That said, it would be difficult if the baby is born this week because he really can't slack off. I know that God will have this baby born in His perfect timing, and we will pray and ask him to have the baby come in our perfect time! He answers prayer, but sometimes, the answer is no and we will just deal with whatever the answer is.

He so rarely falls asleep on my lap anymore, I cherish every time it happens. This picture is also serving as a belly picture, at 34 weeks, I think, maybe 33.

Nothing exciting has been happening lately. Monday, my midwife called and asked if I had gotten my Rho-gam shot yet. I said no, and she said somehow it got missed and you need to get that today. So, I said I would come in today and get it. 3 hours after arriving, we left with one Rho-gam shot completed. Sage is so good. I had taken some snacks and we ate lunch in the cafeteria but he was so tired by the time we left. And he never cries or complains. A few protests and then he gets distracted with more food.

My washer has finally been fixed! I can now do a full load of laundry again, which in a normal washer is a half load, and I had been doing a half load in our machine, which is 1/4 of a normal load!

I forgot Thankful Thursday so here goes.

1. A working, non-water leaking washer!
2. A surprise Valentine rose (from Drew)
3. Sweet kisses from my sweet boy- unasked he has started giving kisses
4. a good nights sleep
5. eating out
6. a free baby bassinet that can be hooked next to my bed also

Do you ever get tired of food? Not that I am not hungry, I just get tired of always fixing food, cleaning up and shopping for food. How much time would I have in a day if I didn't have to feed myself and my family? It would be amazing.

Sage has figured out that he can carry his step stool anywhere, therefor making him a lot taller and able to reach everything. Nothing is safe in our house anymore. Nothing. If the stool isn't good enough, get a chair!

He colors!

He actually sits at his chair and scribbles on paper. He is getting quite good if I do say so myself! It is nice to have an activity that he will sit and do for a while. I can pay a bill while sitting next to him and actually try to get something done while he is awake!

But we did have our first non-paper coloring incident. He was sprawled on the floor coloring. That's right, on the floor. Thank God for washable crayons!

In other news, the washing machine repairman is supposed to come and fix the washer. Last time, he was just seeing what it was that needed fixed. So, hopefully, today I can do a full size of laundry which is about half of a normal load. I have been doing 1/4 of normal loads. I hope it works because I really need to get caught up on laundry!

Firsts

Today was a day of firsts.

It started out this morning with my first call to Poison Control. Apparantly, my prenatal vitamin cap is not so child proof. Sage got the cap off and spilled a bunch and put two in his mouth. I read the bottle and it says "WARNING: Accidental overdose of iron containing products is a leading cause of fatal poisoning in children under 6. Keep this product out of reach of children. In case of accidental overdose, call a doctor or poison control center immediatly." Since I didn't know how much would constitute an overdose, I called poison control. I had him spit them out and it looked like he had only sucked off the coating and didn't get too much of the actual vitamin, which must have been pretty disgusting. She asked me how much he weighs, did a calculation and assured me he would be fine. I should have him drink an extra sippy of liquid today and he might have a stomache ache but she was doubtful.

The second first is that Sage took a 3 hour nap! Did I get anything done? No. I watched the rest of Herbie Fully Loaded, laid around and shopped on Ebay for nothing in particular. This nap thing makes me wonder a little if these two firsts are at all connected? Doubtful. He is probably just going through a growth spurt which would also explain his large eating habits lately.

I am looking for the perfect diaper bag for two children. For Sage, I carry what he needs in my purse currently, but realize that will change with an infant. I would like a messenger style and something that I can throw my wallet, phone, keys, lipstick etc. into as well. I like shopping the internet but I want to touch and feel before I purchase. There is nothing worse to me than wasted shipping money. Any ideas?

I am considering making my own towels for the baby and Sage. I want to make the ones with a hood. I remember Sage's baby towels being so small so quickly. He was a big boy! And I don't know where they are! I think I could figure it out, but the other side of me says, just buy them, if they don't turn out, then what? And to buy a decent towel and hand towel (to make the hoodie) would be around $10 plus my time. But, I would feel pretty domestic making my own towels and then I could make them for gifts and sell them on ebay and... Hey, do I have Sage's baby book done yet? No, oh. Maybe I have other places to spend my time.