Thursday, June 29, 2006

Do you ever feel like you can't do anything right?

Today at Target, Kolby wants to be held so I whip out the new sling and stick him in. Crying continues except louder. I take him out. Crying simmers. I face him outward. Crying stops. The rest of the Target trip I holding him on one hip, facing out trying to push the cart. Lately, I feel like the worlds worst mother. I am short with Sage and can't seem to keep Kolby happy. There are many factors entering this equation.

Factor 1: Kolby likes to be held. I like holding Kolby but when I hold him, little gets accomplished. Enter Baby Bjorn. It helps a lot. Kolby is happy, I am happy and able to get a little more accomplished. Kolby weighs about 17 lbs. That is a lot of weight on my shoulders in the Bjorn, too much weight. It hurts, it kills my back. Some chiropractor is going to make a lot of money off me someday. I start searching for other options. Remember, Kolby is in a Dennis Browne Splint 22 - 23 hours a day. I email a couple different companies asking for advice. Rockin Baby Slings emails back right away saying they think a sling could work. I order immediatly. Receive it yesterday. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't work, I insist to keep trying. It doesn't work. The snuggle hold which they suggested, keeps his bar in the sling and he kind of squats in the sling and is facing me. It is okay for about 5 minutes if I put him in happy then the crying starts. I think it might hurt his legs. I think I am going to send it back.

I had also emailed the Ergo company. They never got back to me. I don't think that one would work either.

I am stuck until Sept. 27th when we go to the doctor and supposedly Kolby can start wearing the bar only at night. And then any kind of carrier will work because he won't be wearing the bar.

Factor 2: Sage is almost 2 and his favorite word is no and he dawdles everywhere. Especially when I am carrying Kolby in the "break my arm" carrier. The thing that Sage is the worst at being obedient is when we say come here. He walks from our apartment to the garage. And sometimes does a really good job and comes right to the car but most of the time, he walks around the lot and looks at dirt and the trash cans and sticks and rocks and anything. I know it is his age but come on already. It takes 5 minutes just to get to the car. I would just carry him when I am in a hurry but I am already carrying Kolby, the diaper bag and whatever else we need for that particular trip.

Both of these things are wearing on me. A lot.

Good news? Kolby only woke up once last night to nurse! Sage has been going down for naps without crying! Sage also told me today that he was poopy! It is the little things in life.

Sage wears Pampers and they feature Elmo. So whenever we change his diaper, he says Melmo? And when we change Kolby's diaper, Melmo? Even though Kolby's diapers don't have Elmo on them.

Off to do more laundry!


  1. Luke calls Elmo "Melmo" too!

  2. Yes, I feel I can't do anything right quite often. Why, at this moment, my kitchen smells like trash, and my daughter is eating pizza. AWESOME.

    Rest assured, you are a wonderful mother. These are trying times, they are.

    Funny how last time I was pregnant I couldn't WAIT for the baby to get here. This time, well, I know how much work it will entail, so I'm a bit more patient.

    The sling thing would be very frustrating. It will be SO nice when he only has to wear it at night!!!!!!!!


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