Monday, June 05, 2006

Split Personalities

I have two different personalities when it comes to mothering. The first is the laid back, natural mothering style. I breastfeed, in public, where ever I happen to be and rarely with something covering the baby. I have started using cloth diapers. My baby is kind of on a schedule, kind of a nurse on demand baby. He sleeps in the swing for his naps, most of the time. The other mom is scheudled, disciplined, and routine driven. Sometimes I want Kolbster to drink formula from a bottle, take a passy like nobody's business, and wear only disposable diapers. And sleep only in his bassinet. It is like a battle going on everyday. I have given in to some things and others I haven't (like the bottle). Part of me figures, Kolbs is still little, he will settle into more of a routine in about a month and part of me is like it is my own fault, I don't always make him eat, have awake time and then sleep. Why haven't I figured out who I am yet, and why am I not always comfortable in my own skin? Why do I feel the need to try every option? For example, I have tried all brands of diapers, never loyal to one. And now, I had to try cloth diapering. I can't even tell you why I wanted to try. Maybe because I know people that do it and I wanted to try it too and maybe because it has always interested me so why not try or maybe because, if my mom can do it, surely I can too, maybe because it would save us money(?), maybe because it helps the environment, maybe because I wanted to try it.

Cloth diapering and saving money. I am not sure I buy that any more. We were doing the math and for the money I have invested I would have to cloth diaper exclusively for 6 months to make them break even with disposables. And that doesn't even get me enough diapers to do it full time. I have 12. (1 is defective and they are sending me another one) I have used 7 today by 3pm although one was because Kolby peed when his diaper was open and got the clean one wet. So, I am doing a mixture of cloth and disposables. Cloth around home and for short trips out and about. Disposables to fill in the gaps and when we will be gone for extended periods of time. And I am not brave enough to try cloth for overnight.

Kolbs has only poohed in one cloth diaper and it held it all in! This was going on the third day of no pooh action from him, so with that I am impressed.

Target diapers have worked great for Kolby. No leaks and they seem to fit great. Why didn't I try the ultra cheap brand of Target diapers before I bought cloth and why didn't I do the cloth math correctly before I bought cloth?

What is up with the weather? I can't keep up with it, first really hot shorts and t-shirts now we are back to low 60's.

Kolby's clothes. I need one piece outfits that snap in the crotch for him. I can't pull pants on and off because that requires taking his shoes and bar on and off and that takes too long and he doesn't especially like it. Although today after he peed on his socks and I changed them and put his shoes back on, he didn't cry at all! And now with this weird weather, I only have 2 long pants with short sleeve option for him. And that particular combination with snaps all along the legs is kind of hard to find.

A lot of times as I write, I think who cares about this stuff in my life, does anyone read this?


  1. I don't have children yet. But I say BRAVO for trying cloth diapers. Don't feel like you have to stick with them though. When my younger sisters were born, my mom wanted us to use cloth (we were in our teens then and did a lot of diapering). I HATED cloth diapers. With a disposable one you could wrap up the poo and throw it away. With cloth, you had to wash it out - bleh! Don't know what we'll end up doing with our own.

    (Found you through Rach's blog).

  2. We did the math before Lucy was born and came to the same conclusion...cloth diapers are more expensive when you factor in energy and wear and tear on the washer/dryer, etc.

    I am the same way with my mothering...

    I love reading what you write!

  3. I use cloth diapers mainly because it seems like a small thing I can do to help the world I'm leaving to my daughter say a little cleaner. I feel proud of myself for doing it. I don't use them all the time, just around home etc. like you. (I agree with you about the "if my mom could do it; I can" thought. I've thought about that too.)

    I love reading about your life. My daughter was born just about the same time as Kolby, so it's fun for me to compare notes. Thanks for having this blog.

    Krista L.

  4. First of all, I read your blog faithfully! :) I really enjoy reading whatever you write about. Sometimes I feel so isolated, it's nice to know there are other mom's experiencing similar things to me.

    I've thought about cloth diapers, but never actively pursued it. I am condsidering doing it with our next child...and see how it goes from there. So far in this household, we've been faithful Huggies users.

    On your mothering style, I think we all do what works best for us and our families. Don't stress about that...My impression is that you are a wonderful mother who cares deeply about your boys. You guys will find your rhythm soon! :)


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