Saturday, November 15, 2008

Not Feeling So Hot

I did something stupid. I made a mistake. Again. Is there a theme on this blog of the stupid things I've done?

I weighed myself. And then. I tried on a pair of pre-pregnancy jeans.

And none, zero, zip, nada, not one shirt fits either.

I'm stuck wearing maternity jeans and t-shirts. And not cute t-shirts, t-shirts of various colleges and places I've been. And quite honestly, even those are a little tight.

And I know, it has only been 5 days. But, I have had to actually leave my house. Levi's bilirubin level is up. I had to take him to the doctor yesterday and then to the lab for his blood work. It went up from 12.2 yesterday to 13.5 today. The doctor wants it retested tomorrow except that the lab is closed tomorrow. I'm not worried and I know I should lay him in direct sunlight but we aren't getting any sunlight in our house today.

I probably have a little bit of the baby blues. Kind of weepy. Irritable. Or maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep.

I can totally talk myself out of my thinking. I am so thankful for my beautiful, perfect baby and for my mom doing all my work. I haven't cooked or cleaned up from a meal. Sage and Kolby are so adoring to Levi. Especially Sage. He loves to hold him, he talks to him and is so sweet. Kolby is sweet too if not always gentle!

I have so many thoughts and emotions rolling around in my head. Most of them kind of silly and probably selfish too.


  1. Praying for you.
    It's toooooooo early to even think about your skinny jeans!! Love you!
    For this comment I will not call you Chunk!hahah

  2. Step AWAY from the scale! Too early! On the bright side, you must be feeling pretty good. At this time with Amalie I felt like I was going to die!

    Don't make me come over there and take your scale!

    Ok, must go lay on couch. Do nothing. Amalie has been waking every 2 hours at night. I tired.

  3. Don't be so hard on yourself, your body/hormones/emotions have been through a lot in the past week and all feelings are justified!

  4. Silly and selfish? I doubt it.

    Give yourself a break. In some cultures, the post-partum mother stays in bed for 40 days. Because you can't move to the other side of the world, give yourself a mental 40 days of no worries regarding the condition of your body. Mercy is a healer.

    I love the photos of your three little guys together. What a treasure.

  5. My goodness. I think five days after childbirth is way too early to be worrying about your appearance and your weight.

    Shouldn't you just be nursing and napping and drinking plenty of water and eating healthy food (or just feeding the baby if you're not nursing)?

  6. Hang in there and feel free to let us in on all of those emotions rolling around in your head. That's what your blog is for!

  7. Weighing should never be attempted before the 6 week check-up!

  8. Hang in there! Those first few weeks are tough...

    Mary, mom to 10


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