stream of conciousness

We went on vacation.

And then we got back.

And I didn't write about it. I've been thinking about what to write and how to incorporate our pictures.

But, while there, we noticed Kolby's left foot turning in a little bit. Drew's mom had been to Houston in early May and said she noticed it then too.

So, I've been on the phone and online trying to figure out what to do. The dilemma has been whether to take him to a Ponseti certified doctor or not. We hadn't been for seeing one for our yearly check ups, which was coming up at the end of this month. I had thought it would be okay because they were just check ups. As long as I didn't think anything was going wrong, we'd stay in network with our doctor.

The more I talked to Drew, he discerned that I was going to want a second opinion from a Ponseti certified doctor even if I took Kolby to this doctor. Primarily, because I didn't trust him. When we first moved here, I took Kolby to see him and one of his residents saw Kolby first (at age 2) and he told me we could probably be done with wearing the bar at night. Ponseti clearly recommends until age 4. After the appointment, I emailed the doctor and expressed my concerns. He admitted that he would have been comfortable with letting us stop wearing the bar at night.

Fast forward to his 3 year old check up and the shoes were too small. I was there to request a fitting for a new pair. Surprise to us, he discontinued use of the bar, said Kolby's feet were great! We were ecstatic.

I wish I would have followed my first gut feeling and insisted on new shoes and insisted on keeping him in them until he was 4.

I have an appointment in Houston for the end of this month with a Ponseti certified doctor who is out of our network. I have a call into a doctor in Dallas, in network, to see if we can get in to see him sooner. So many details need to work out. I keep reminding myself that I'm not in control. God is. And he will do what is best for us.

Sage's birthday is this week. We're having a small party for him on Saturday. And I'm trying to get things ready for that too.

And Annika is due in less than 5 weeks. I don't even want to list out what we need to do for her arrival. Her clothes are literally heaped on the bed in Levi's room. Nothing has been washed. I don't really know what I have and what I need. I'm going by the seat of my pants this time! And this is not like me at all.

Kind of a downer post to come back with, huh? This is life right now for us. Get on and enjoy the ride with us!

I feel like I have to write a disclaimer. I'm not overly worried about Kolby. I trust God that what has to happen will happen. But, man I want to know the details of how it's going to work! Drew might have to take Kolby by himself and that tears me apart. I need to be with him. I was at every. single. appointment when he was a baby and now... I'm crying just thinking about not being with him. I might disobey doctors orders and go anyway. But, maybe I won't tell you until after we get back!

I missed posting a picture of the kids on July 1. Maybe I'll take it on Sage's birthday and try to get back on track in August.

My Poopy Day

My tag line on Facebook is something like "I'm living my dream; I just never realized it would involve so much poop."

That could be interpreted two different ways, like life is full poop and you just have to deal with it. Or, my way, literally poop.

My mom always told the story about my sister smearing her poop all over her crib. Spindle bars, of course. But that was her only poop story. That I remember anyway.

Yesterday, we had some errands to run. Post office, book store, mall, and the library. I am usually not that adventurous in my errand running. I stick to two but we were moving fast and making progress.

We ate lunch at the mall and Levi told me "Peeyou!" Meaning he needed his diaper changed. We did the deed. But the diaper was strangely dry. I changed it anyway, using my only diaper in my purse. (Note: I used my only diaper. No, I don't take a diaper bag with me. I keep a diaper and wipes in my purse. Note: that is stupid.)

We had one last stop at the library to pick up Adventures in Odyssey on cd, it was on hold so it should be a quick in and out. Except that my hold had expired the day before and they are really quick to put those holds back on the truck to some other lucky family.

So we were perusing the book on cd selections. When I heard a sound. A very liquid sound. And Levi said "Peeyou!" And boy was he right. Remember how I used my one and only diaper? And how I don't carry a diaper bag? (I'm so keeping it in the van.)

Being the laidback kind of mom, I just finished my perusing, a little more quickly and we got out of there. I stripped Levi of his overalls and found a gross hand towel to cover his carseat. Calm, cool and collected. We made it home and I got him cleaned up. Drew cleaned up the stroller when he got home. Oh, yes, the stroller was quite disgusting.

Then, we went to swimming lessons for Sage and Kolby. Kolby had an accident in his swim suit. I was not so calm, cool and collected this time. He'd done it last week too so I knew what was coming as to the clean up of him and the bathroom that would need disinfecting. And it broke me. I was a less than stellar mommy. I was a pretty horrible mommy.

I really wanted to end the day and the story on a funny note, but I just can't get over the fact that I was a downright terrible mommy. I have many excuses for acting so terrible. But they don't matter. I was not letting the Holy Spirit help me. Sure I prayed. I prayed "I can't do this!" Um, not really a helpful prayer. I have apologized and reapologized to the boys. I've talked about how I wasn't acting the way that I try to teach them to act. I talked about how mommy needs Jesus. And how mommy had to ask for forgiveness from God and how isn't God's grace amazing? I didn't promise I wouldn't ever do it again. Because I'm a sinner. But, I'm going to pray that I don't break down like that again. It was rough on all of us.

So, poop! It's gross and there is a lot of it in our house. And I'm about to have another pooping machine! But girls poop is cuter and doesn't smell, right?!

I'm Just Going to Write so I Can Write Something

I haven't been feeling the bloggy love lately. Meaning, I haven't wanted to write anything. So, I'm just going to write and see what comes out.

I've been feeling discontentment lately. I want a bigger house, a yard and a dog. I want to live closer to family for the reasons of having people to lean on and not having to vacation in our home states. I like where we live, don't get me wrong.

I wonder if I feel this way because we've never lived somewhere permanently before. We're as permanent as God has us. In the past, we were on a countdown. A countdown for Drew to finish school and we would move somewhere new. We've been here 2 years now and it seems like much longer. We don't have something in our future. We're living life here for as long as God allows.

We took our first exploratory trip in Texas last weekend. By first, I mean, we didn't go visit friends, we went by ourselves and stayed in a hotel. We went to San Antonio. Sage declared it the best trip ever! We visited the Alamo and learned about the war. We ate on the Riverwalk and did the boat tour. We went to El Mercado where I got a Mexican tunic shirt and a dress for Annika! As my friend, Annalee, pointed out, we're set for Cinco de Mayo now!

We went because we listened to a timeshare presentation. 2.5 hours of my life that I will never get back. And we had the boys. Never mind the fact that Drew and I are not on the spot decision makers. We, I should say, Drew, researches everything. We don't make a purchase without talking, thinking, praying through it.

But, we got two free nights in a hotel! And we said no to the timeshare. And it wasn't hard at all to say no to it.

We can't remember the last time we took our family on a trip and didn't stay with friends or family. When we lived in CT, we did mostly day trips with a little camping.

So, yeah. I'd like a bigger house, with some storage and a way for us to host our families more comfortably.

I'm kind of ready for a new adventure. And at the same time am loving living life.

Maybe I should look at my new adventure as becoming a mom of four and sending my oldest to kindergarten.

Or maybe I shouldn't think about sending my oldest to kindergarten. I'll just let that happen when it comes, that way I can't cry over it before it happens.

And that's what came out.

While Daddy Was Away

We ate dessert for dinner!

Brownies and ice-cream were requested.

Levi ate only the ice-cream.

Is it bad that my 18 month old can say ice-cream? And has been saying it for a while? Maybe I don't really want you to answer that!

Friday Morning Ramblings

I took the boys to get their haircut this morning.  Drama free.  Not one good story came out of it.  Except they look adorable.

Sage and Kolby are constantly playing war.  They fight against the British army.  Sometimes, one of them is the British army.  Usually, Kolby.  Kolby usually gets pegged as the bad guy or the monster.  I can't decide if he likes it or he just wants to play with Sage.

Yesterday, while I was at Bible study, the boys made a booklet about themselves.  Kolby's said Sage is his friend.  So sweet.

Bible study ended at 12 and I left the boys in childcare until 2, to accomplish two things that I can't take them with me to do.  1) Get my eyebrows threaded. 2) But a new undergarment.  Yes, I wrote a whole post about needing bigger panties and I can't bring myself to type the other word.  I'm weird.  I accomplished neither of those things.  But, I did go to Costco and get us milk and bread for the weekend.  And I bought lunch for myself at Chick-fil-A.  Surprise, surprise.

I went to an orientation for a midwifery service on Wednessday.  I am really excited about it!  The only reason I would have to get an iv is if I test positive for Group B strep or am anemic.  The baby will stay with me and will only be taken away if I ask for her to go to the nursery.  There were other things that I was excited about but can't remember right now.  I signed for them to transfer my files immediately.  I can also take the boys with me to appointments.  Not that I love that idea, but it will save us money. 

Did you know that in the state of Texas, if you refuse to have the baby get the eye drops, they have to report you to CPS and then you are on file at CPS? 

Did you know that the eye drops are to protect the baby from sexually transmitted disease?  Of which, I don't have.  So, there is no point in getting the eye drops.  With Kolby, I tried to refuse them and they said if the baby doesn't get the eye drops, he can't go to the nursery.  He got the eye drops. 

I have four minutes to hit publish before it is Friday afternoon. 

I don't know where Levi is right now. 

Have a great weekend!  We're dropping the boys off at Parents Night Out and going to an Astro's game!  I surprised Drew by getting the tickets when he was in Sudan. 

I love having Drew home. 

June

I'm going to try to take a picture of the kids the first of every month.
And, I'm trying to learn Photoshop from my husband

Here's June's photo finish.  And the accompanying story.  It was Sunday, May 30.  I had the boys and I dressed and ready to go, early even.  So, I said "Let's snap a picture before we head to church!"

Levi spotted his backpack.  And, would. not. put. it. down.  I gave up.

Kolby found his Spongebob watch from Burger King.  And wanted to wear it.  I gave in.

I told Sage and Kolby to hunch down closer to Levi.  Levi squatted too.

In my eye, it's still a cute picture in spite of because of those things.

I love these boys.

Thoughts on a Sunday

I watched Dear John the other night.  It was in the middle of Drew being gone for 10 days.  But, not just gone.  He was in Sudan, Africa.  No telephone access, no internet access.  The only way I could communicate with him was by sending a satelite phone a text message.  160 characters or less.  And the last 10 usually didn't make it through for some reason.  And there was no reply.  Just a one way text.

The movie really made me think about our military families here in the states.  And how hard it must be on the wives and kids.  I've thought about it before but I hadn't experienced not being able to talk to my husband for 10 days.  It is the hardest thing I've done.  No one to share those little tidbits of information about my day, no one to discuss parenting techniques, no one's eye to catch above the kids when they do or say something funny.  Just no one.  It's been a strange week.  I thought I would post more about what went on in our daily life.  But, I didn't. 

I didn't tell you that yesterday I took the three boys to our neighborhood pool.  And while there, Kolby was practicing kicking while holding a noodle, safely in the area of the pool that he could touch.  Sage, swam under water and as he did, accidentally kicked Kolby out a little farther where he couldn't touch.  Kolby started crying.  I didn't panic.  I knew he was okay as long he held onto the noodle.  I called to Sage to come sit by Levi on the step while I pulled Kolby back to safety.  I only told Sage, "Sit by Levi."  And went to rescue Kolby.  As I pulled the noodle back to safety and reassured Kolby he was okay, I looked back over my shoulder and saw Sage holding Levi underwater.  I could see Levi looking at me while he was underwater.  I yelled "Pull him up, pull him up, get him out of the water!"  Sage just looked at me and continued to hold Levi underwater.  I grabbed Levi out of the water and held him close.  I was beyond upset.  I asked Sage why he would dunk Levi underwater.  He said "You do it!" 

Yes, he has seen me dunk Levi.  But, the difference was that I was trying to teach Levi to reach for the wall if he was under water.  And the bigger difference is that I'm the mom. 

I made grand promises about not going swimming again.  I mean, I've taken them three times and twice something frightening has happened.  Clearly, I can't handle the three of them by myself.  I'm really disappointed because I had planned on that being one of our weekly or twice or thrice weekly outings.  Now, I'm not so sure.

And where was I going with this?

Right, military families.  I don't know how they do it.  I'm beyond impressed.  And then my thoughts turn to widowers.  Specifically, widowers with young children.  How do they even cope? 

I have a cousin.  She has 3 young children.  And pregnant with her fourth.  And her husband is deployed.  Will you join me in praying for her?  That is the most tangible thing I can think to do after watching the movie and having a taste of what life would be like.  Only a taste.  I didn't have to think about paying bills, making sure our bank balances were all okay, or yard work. 

At the very least, say a prayer for our military familie this weekend. If you know a family, tell them thanks for the sacrifices that they are enduring or have endured.

Let me just complain for one second

Complain might not be the right word.  Inform.  Maybe.  Let's go with inform.

I'm a little chubby.  Or a lot chubby. 

I've gotten asked many times if carrying a girl is different.  At first, I said no.  My belly is the same, kind of like a basketball.  And then I noticed something.  Something that was sneaking up on me from behind.

No, really, my behind. 

I had to move into my big girl panties in the second trimester instead of the third like with the boys.  And with the beginning of my third, I'm in need of big(ger) girl panties.  

My jeans that I wore through the end of the pregnancy with Levi, they don't fit.

Jeans that I had accidentally bought too big when pregnant with Kolby and never wore with Levi?  Fit, um, snuggly.  Let's just say it's a good thing I don't live where I need to where jeans.

My shorts are less than comfortable.  But wearable.  But I feel huge in them. 

And sometimes a girl just wants to wear shorts, not a dress.

And I still have quite a bit of time left. 

And I'm not even going to mention the varicose veins in my legs.  They're hideous. 

End complaining.  I mean informing. 

Because having a daughter will be totally worth it, right?

Drew, if you were here...

these are the mundane things I would tell you.

-  Yesterday, we went swimming at a friends parents house.  They have a hot tub, that wasn't turned on, that the boys loved to play in.  Levi loved to sit on the side and kick his legs and splash.  He even stood on the seat and was so brave. 

I was sitting by the table and Levi toddled over and sat down on the side and started kicking his legs.  I thought to myself, "I shouldn't be this far away from him."  And I got up to walk over and sit beside him. 

And he looked back at me.  And I could see his little butt moving closer to the edge as he kicked his legs and he turned his body and then he fell in.  I yelled "Oh, Lord, help me.  Oh God!"  In my mind, I could see myself falling.  I could see myself not getting to him fast enough.  And my body, my legs, they moved so slowly.  I couldn't get there fast enough.  He was face down but he put his arm out of the water and twisted his body, like he was trying to flip to his back.  His eyes were wide open.  His look was terrified.  I grabbed his arm and pulled him to safety. 

My arms.

I hugged him tight.  He wimpered.  Then my friend and I told him how brave he was! 

And we didn't leave until he got back in and he wasn't afraid of the water.  If I get over it, and stop hovering over him that will be the best or maybe it wouldn't.  I should have hovered more.

-  I got two cute onesies for Annika today from Wal-Mart.  One is pink and one is purple.  They were only $3! 

-  Kolby is supposed to be resting but he went into Levi's room who was supposed to be napping.  So, now it's quarter to four and Levi hasn't napped.  I guess I'm glad that I'm going to girls night tonight! 

- Today I went to HEB, 2 Targets and Wal-Mart.  I got Kolby some new goggles, size 6 - 14.  They fit him much better than the old ones.  Hence the 2 Targets trying to find the right goggles.   

-  I'm tired.

-  Things are running pretty smoothly, it really helps that I don't cook dinner.  I don't get all worn out and impatient before bedtime. 

-  I saw the same lady last night at McDonalds and today at Chick-Fil-A.  I was kind of embarrassed.  She totally lit up and said "Hi".

-  I signed the boys up for swimming lessons. 

-  I miss you and love you tons. 

-  You are definitely the one person that I talk to most in this world.  I miss not talking to you and laughing with you. 

-  And since you were gone, I started watching The Bachelorette and I'm totally DVRing it.  Maybe it would have been better if you stayed home. 

stream of conciousness

It's Saturday night at 9:30pm. 

I took the boys swimming today for the first time this summer.  Sage kind of remembers how to swim.  At least, he remembers how to keep himself above water.  He jumped right into the deep end yelling "Cannonball!"  And then looked scared but made it to the side.

Kolby is still his cautious, sink to the bottom self.  His kick seems stronger this year.  I hope this is the summer that he gets it. 

Levi got braver the longer we were there.  By the end, he was walking in the shallow end.  His balance walking in the water needs to improve.  He never dunked himself accidentally, but he didn't let go of my hand. 

I told the boys they could go to any restaurant they wanted tonight.  Sage said McDonalds or Chick-fil-A.  I said, any restaurant, what about Rainforest Cafe?  Sage said he really wanted to go somewhere he could get a toy.  I chose Chick-fil-A.  They all three got the same book and kept it.  No one wanted ice-cream.  Well, Levi didn't get a choice.  I'm pretty sure he would have chosen ice-cream.

Speaking of Levi.  That kid talks!  He repeats everything.  And he makes it so much clearer how speech delayed Kolby is.  Like Levi will say ha for hat.  And we'll say haT.  And he'll say haT.  We still have to do that with Kolby.  I'm not complaining, just saying it how it is.  I can understand most of what Kolby says, especially if it is in context.  If he wants to tell me something or sometimes, he makes up a story, I won't have a clue as to what he is saying.  Sometimes, I have to tell him that I just don't understand.  It frustrates him, it frustrates me, it makes me sad.  Levi is by far our earliest talker.  Sage started talking more around 2.  

While at Chick-fil-A, there were some other kids there playing in the playplace and the little boy was hitting and pushing Kolby and Sage.  Sage told him to stop and Sage didn't complain about it again so I thought he did.  Kolby cried though.  So, the little boy kept hitting and pushing him.  Of course, I am the only parent in there.  I talked to Kolby, told him to stop crying and tell the little boy to stop it. 

We ended up leaving.  What would you have done? 

In the van, I made Kolby practice speaking firmly, "Stop hitting me.  I don't like it."  Kolby is a great victim.  Someone wrongs him, he cries.  Whether it really hurt him or not.  We see it happen with Levi at home.  Levi knows which buttons to press with Kolby and Kolby plays the victim role perfectly.  Rarely, does he hit or push Levi back.  And to be totally honest, when he does, Levi completely deserves it.  But, we don't encourage that. 

I'm 28 weeks tomorrow.  Third trimester.  Um, wow.  I had my glucose screening yesterday.  And my rhogam shot. 

I'm not feeling so hot about the doctor or hospital I've chosen.  I asked yesterday about having to have the pitocin and she told me about how it is standard, how it helps the uterus to get hard and firm and lessens the bleeding.  She asked if it was really that bad.  I said it was the worst ever.  I had been through labor and delivery twice before and didn't have an iv or pitocin and no complications.  Anyway, I could go on and on, I know there are medical reasons for an iv, but the pitocin is, I can't think of a word, stupid.  I know breastfeeding does the same thing and I do that with my babies.  Maybe if the hospital didn't take my baby for 5 hours, an hour after I delivered, I could breastfeed more and avoid the pitocin. 

So, I'll be calling a different hospital that has midwives and see what their standards are.  The bummer is, it is farther than 5 minutes away which is where my doctor and hospital are currently.  It is at least a half hour.  And I have to pay for parking.  Drew is encouraging me to at least check out my options.

And that was longer than I thought it would be.

To summarize,  how do you handle when your kid is being treated wrongly by another child whose parent isn't present?  And how do I get Kolby out of the victim mentality? 

8 Years

8 years ago, I gave away my heart, fully.

He has even more of it now.

He has handled it with care, most everyday since.

He is my best friend.

The one that I tell everything.

The one that I laugh with and sometimes, at.

The one who makes me laugh.

The one I admire more and more as each day passes.

The one who surprises me continually.

The one who's opinion matters most from what purse I carry to how I style my hair.

The one forever.

Discovering the Enemy

Kolby and I headed to the allergist this morning.

He got pricked and pricked and pricked and pricked and pricked and pricked a couple more times for good measure.

And I promised a doughnut.

The outcome? Allergies to gelatin and dust mites.

Gelatin was in 3 of the 5 vaccinations he received that day.

Gelatin is also in marshmallows, gummi candy, and of course, jello. We are to eliminate those from his diet. That won't be that big of a deal except I gave my kids gummi vitamins. I guess Kolby will get Flintstones. Luckily, I've slacked off on doling those out for the last couple of months. And I'm bummed about the marshmallows, how's a kids supposed to enjoy a campfire? No s'smores? And no Rice Krispie Treats? Major bummer to me.

The dust mites are mostly a problem in his bedroom. We'll be getting an encasement for his mattress and his pillow. And probably buying a special comforter. His sheets have to be washed on hot every two weeks. Oh and those special stuffed animals that he sleeps with? Either wash them on hot every 2 weeks or get rid of them entirely. I'm thinking about giving him two week rotations of favorites. He usually has about 10 surrounding him every night. Plus 3 special blankies.

We're considering getting a new vacuum.

And a professional duster. You know, the one who comes to your house once a week to dust? Just kidding. Kind of. Drew didn't mention that, but I thought it.

We already have blinds in his room, not curtains but of course those blinds should be dusted more than once a year which is more my schedule.

And now I see dust mite potential everywhere I look. Those blankets that hardly ever get washed that they play with all the time. My 4 throw rugs downstairs. And of course, our carpet. Which we've always thought was disgusting, but hey it came with the house!

Here's to trying to control something uncontrollable and not going off the deep end while doing it!

*This just in: Skittles and Starburst are out too. Am I over reacting?

It's A Rainy, Great Day!

Today, as I type, Drew is out with Kolby, a special lunch at Chick-Fil-A. 

And the most exciting part for Kolby?  More than a year in the making. 

A trip to Bass Pro Shop for a fishing pole! 

Seems mundane but to the 3 year old who watched his 4 year old brother open one for his birthday last year and wanted so badly to have his own, especially the small tackle box of gear, it will be (hopefully) priceless.

What is the occasion that he is getting a new fishing pole?

Because, finally, after 14 months since we began, we are declaring, officially, Kolby is potty trained!  He does number one and two, all by himself, no prompting required! 

Yes, we are ecstatic.  And I bet you all want to know my potty training secrets!  (grin)

You'll remember potty training Kolby was a battle.  A battle of wills, if I'm honest.  I wanted him potty trained so badly.  I knew he could go by himself, I'd seen him do it.  I was determined.  Do not give in, I am mommy, hear me roar. 

Unfortunately, he heard me roar a lot.  Being completely truthful, I would get so angry when he would not do his business where he should.  And I let him know it.  After I wrote the above post, I thought I was ready to throw in the towell.  But, I still fought him on it. 

I came to the point one day, where I was done.  I told Drew that Kolby would be back in pull ups indefinitely until he showed me he could do it all, everything, by himself.  And when he did his business in his pull up, I wasn't going to get angry.  I was going to be calm and have a no big deal attitude.  Did I mention I prayed about getting that attitude?  Because wiping a 3 year old bottom is, to say it as kindly as possible, disgusting, with a capital D.  Part of me was nervous that number one would backslide, but it didn't.  I don't know why.

I had put him back in pull ups but as soon as he would do it once on the potty, I would put him back in underwear.  It was a horrible cycle that we just weren't breaking. 

After I gave up, he tested us a couple of times and when we were all like, bummer dude, let's change your diaper, he was like cool. 

Then, he started doing it.  Going into the bathroom and then yelling, I poo on potty!  And we would yell and clap and cheer and give him candy.  Not one m&m either, the kid got a big piece of candy.  We wanted him to know it was a really big deal. 

And now, he just does it.  He goes, yells to be wiped and that's it.  No more candy.

I didn''t win Mother of the Year

But I was treated like I did.

See, May is a big month for me.  My birthday is in May.  My anniversary is in May.  And in the middle of those two is Mothers Day.

Awhile ago I intercepted Drew forwarded me an email.  An email he didn't mean for me to read all of.  You know the email where he wants me to know one small thing but accidentally forwards a series of emails.  I couldn't figure out what he wanted me to know, so I read through the series.  And read that his mom might come and watch the kids for a weekend.

I replied to the email and asked if maybe he forwarded it to me on accident.

Over the next couple of months, our weekends filled up through May.  He convinced me that we didn't have an option of a weekend to get away somewhere.  While at the same time, continuing to comment on how much I needed a break.

Last Friday was my birthday.  And if I'm totally honest, I has a "poor me" attitude about it.  I received a ton of facebook, texts and phone calls to wish me a happy birthday.  But, I still had to you know, be a mom.  And well, poor me.  I did take us to Chick-Fil-A (surprise, surprise) for lunch and ordered myself a chocolate shake.  That night, we were going to the Aid Sudan gala but I didn't want a lot of people to know that it was my birthday. 

Drew had suggested that on Saturday, we go out to breakfast as a family and I suggested a store that I wanted to check out some things in for Annika.  He agreed but wasn't keen on letting me sleep in as well.  I was picturing a relaxing morning of breakfast, window shopping and real shopping with my four favorite boys.  He had an agenda.  

Sitting at breakfast, he asked Sage to give me Project Pink.  A Pink envelope with a note written on it that said I was scheduled for a prenatal massage and then a mani/pedi.  Then he told the boys that they would be picking up a friend while I was gone.  I was slightly irritated that he wouldn't tell me who it was and was so curious as to who would ask him to babysit and  not me!  So strange. 

I thouroughly enjoyed my massage, almost falling asleep.  And then getting my nails all prettied. 

When I got home, the living room didn't look to be the disaster that I was expecting if there were other children in my house.  I rounded the corner to our dining room and there sat my mother in law! 

And Sage quickly yelled "You're going away for two nights and three days and Nana is staying here with us!"

He was obviously heartbroken to see his mama leave him for Mother's Day.

We quickly packed our bags, I ran to the grocery store and we headed to Galvestan to stay in a hotel by the beach for the weekend.

Sunday, Mother's Day, he gave me a necklace that the boys picked out (wink, wink), we shopped The Strand, saw a cruise ship, regretted our decision to not stay away longer (grin), and then sat by the pool for 4 hours while we read and the waitress brought us lunch and Dr. Pepper. 

We went to a pizza place that night, because we are fancy.  And the waitress told me my combination of chocolate and berry gelatto was strange.  We laughed about how she should tip us after that comment.  Who tells a pregnant woman that her choice is strange? 

We packed up when we woke up the next morning, all good things must end and Drew's mom had to catch a plane.  But he did get me my favorite breakfast, french toast sticks from Sonic.  They have been my second breakfast choice for a few weeks now. 

It was a great weekend.  I can't even describe the degree of lovliness.  It was the perfect vacation to me, eating, sitting by a pool, reading, relaxing and being pampered.   

My sweet husband did such an awesome job of surprising me.  Love you, babe, can't wait until you do it again!  Okay, so I can wait, I'll just be really excited for it!   

18 Months, 3 Days ~ Levi

I've got to document it somewhere.

34 inches.  95th percentile for height.

25 lbs.  50th percentile for weight. 

Two nights ago, he told me "Poo."  and pointed to his diaper.  I asked him if he needed to go.  He nodded yes.  I ran him upstairs to his little potty.  He had already gone but did a little more in the potty.  We clapped and cheered and gave him some candy.

I thought it was a fluke.  Maybe some had fallen off his hiney, who knew.  But, there was something in the potty and we celebrated with him.

Tonight, while I rinsed the bathtub, I had him sit on his little potty.

I turned back to see what he was doing and he was looking down.  Watching the pee go into his little potty!  We clapped, cheered and he got some m&m's!

You know that potty training has been an "issue" in our house.  I'm not getting a big head about anything.  After potty training, Sage, I didn't think any kid could be as stubborn as he was.

And then came Kolby.

So, we're on track for Levi to be potty trained before kindergarten.

And I'm happy about that. 

But, I'm not saying my mind isn't excited with the possibility of him being potty trained this summer.

We'll see. 

No pressure, third child, no pressure.

stream of conciousness

I only have a few minutes.

I changed Levi's 18 month appointment from next Tuesday to this afternoon.  I'm excited to see how much he weighs and where he falls in the percentile's.  I'm guessing in the 50 percentiles.  He's our little guy. 

Kolby is done with Benadryl!  I might have been a little nervous to give it up, but he hasn't had any since 10:30 last night and is doing great! 

I'm praying that we don't have a repeat performance for Levi today. 

Vaccines!  Aaack!  I wish someone else could make decisions for me. 

Kolby has an appointment on Monday morning with the allergist.  Can anyone tell me what will happen there?

I'm gaining more weight than I had hoped.  It doesn't help that I started a good 5 or 8 pounds heavier than I would have liked. 

I need to take some pictures of my belly. 

I downloaded Ice Ice Baby from the Glee cast today. 

I really don't have much to say. 

Phone Call Machine

I really dislike making phone calls.  I just don't like talking on the phone.  I don't even like to schedule appointments.  It just seems like a huge waste of time.  Isn't there someway I can schedule appointments online?!

But this afternoon, I sucked it up and got some appointments made.  Two doctor appointments for Kolby next week.  And I found out when I can register Sage for kindergarten.

Yes, 3 phone calls and I'm pretty sure that is some kind of record. 

And I have realized that having a baby in August is going to be somewhat stressful.  As if having a baby isn't stressful. 

Registration starts the 11th of August.  My due date is the 15th.  Not that I've actually made it to a due date.  So, that means I'll have four kids to take to the school to pick up a packet to register my firstborn for school.  I bet I won't cry at all.  I hope you are sensing the sarcasm. 

And then kindergarten starts the 24th. 

All this from making phone calls.  See, why I don't like making them?

Am I the only one with this dislike of making phone calls?

An Update on Kolby

Kolby has recovered well fom his reaction.  We're still giving him Benadryl every 6 hours.  It's been strange setting my alarm clock for 2am to give him medicine!  We'll start weaning him off of it tomorrow, try to go 8 hours between doses. 

I can tell when it is near time for Benadryl, he starts coughing out of the blue. 

Just wanted to let eveyone know he's doing well and we haven't seen anymore reactions.  I'll make the appointment with the allergist on Monday.  I'm quite curious since 4 out of the 5 were boosters. 

If It's Not One Thing, It's Another

My mom always used to say that.  I didn't really understand it.  I think it's a mom thing.

Levi started the week with a fever.  And got better over night.

Kolby came down with a fever on Tuesday night and it was gone by Wednessday night.

I took Kolby to the doctor today for his four year well child visit.  I took all 3 of the boys, actually.  I've done it many times.  They are pretty well behaved while we're there.  Today was no different.

Kolby had to get 5. F. I. V. E. shots.  We've talked all week about being brave and not fighting the nurse.  He did great.  He didn't kick her or fight her at all. 

We put all our books back on the shelf.  Got a copy of his immunization record for the preschool.  Picked out a small toy.  Received a special book for getting so many shots. 

And we're on our way.

I had promised a special lunch during the shots.  Anything to get his mind off that nurse sticking another needle in his leg. 

He refused the lunch.  Sage encouraged him to reconsider.  A different restaurant maybe?

He started coughing.  He "throws up" but it's all mucous.  In general, he just wasn't being himself. 

I pressed on, offerring ice-cream.  McDonalds?  Chick-fil-A?

Anything to make him happy.

Strapped everyone in the car.

He kept refusing a special lunch.  Saying he wanted to go home and go to sleep.  At 11am.

His face was red, but he'd been coughinig and coughing.

He took his sandals off and cried that his feet hurt.

Then I saw some white splotches or dots. 

I called the doctor's office.  I hung up.

I called Drew and willed him to answer.  He told me to call the doctor back right away.

I turned the van around and headed back to the doctor as I called. 

I started to get panicky.  My emotions were thick in my voice as I explained his symptoms.

"Red face, coughing, lots of coughing, white dots on his face, he's saying his feet hurt and itch."

"How close are you to the office?"

"I'm already heading back that way."

Thankfully, I had the double stroller in the van from the race on Saturday.  Kolby was in no mood to walk and I felt hurried. 

I wheeled us in the doctor's office and one of the nurses, said "our last name?  Come on back."

We were seen right away by Dr. Thaller (the greatest doctor ever). 

His breathing was better, not coughing anymore.  And he sounded good to Dr. Thaller.  

Benadryl was brought in and drank. 

Dr. Thaller ordered a shot of something.

The nurse, sweet Kim, came to give it to him.  I broke the bad news that he would have to get another shot.

Immediate cries.  "No more shots.  No more shots." 

I had already told him the first ones were to keep him healthy.  How do I explain he needs another one to get him better from the ones that were supposed to help in the first place?  I felt terrible. 

We both cried as he got the shot.  I prayed.  I needed that prayer the most.

We read every book in the room for about 30 minutes while Dr. Thaller intermittently came back in to listen to his breathing. 


Levi ate two boxes of raisins.

Finally, we were cleared to leave.  He has to take Benadryl every 6 hours since whatever he's allergic to is still in his body.  No messing around, Dr. Thaller said, if there is shortness of breath, more hives, go right to the nearest ER. 

And we'll be scheduling a visit to the allergist. 

It's been a day.  And it's only 2pm. 

And we're still on alert. 

That sounds more serious than I intend.  He looks so much better, I can see faint traces of the hives.  I'm just a little nervous to not let that Benadryl wear off.

I can't express how fearful I was.  I didn't even think to pray as I turned the van back around.  Not even a help me Jesus. 

We've had emergencies before, trips to the ER for vairous places on heads that were bleeding.  But, I knew those were fixable and manageable and the bleeding would stop and I could see the situation getting under control.

I didn't know what was happening.  He was so irritable.  And crying.  And scratching at his feet.  And he didn't have the words to express what his body was feeling.  I felt helpless driving my van.  I couldn't comfort him, hug him, touch him.  Try to figure out what was wrong. 

It could have been so much worse.  It was just hives. 

I am so thankful.  And this time, I did remember to tell Him.

I also need to remember to trust my gut.  Don't hang up on the doctor.  Do what you think is right for your kids, right away. 

Walking on Clouds

We changed up the blog look again.  If you're reading in google reader or something, come on over and check it out.

Drew helps me out with my blog design.  Meaning he does the header. 

It's fresh and springy. 

I was trying to make it fancy and I couldn't figure it out.  So, this is less fancy.  A template from blogger and Drew made the header.    

So, Levi is over his fever and now Kolby has one.  He hasn't missed a day of school and tomorrow will be the first. 

And that about sums up my thoughts.  Except that Sage has a performance at church this weekend, so any prayers that he somehow misses this 24 hour fever bug would be great! 

Oh, and I have an addiction. 

Hi, my name is Kristy and I love purses. 

It's nothing new.  I have had a love of purses since I was quite young.

My family liked to make fun of me because I fixated on wanting a purple purse for quite some time.  I think they got one for me when it wasn't cool anymore.  Meaning, I didn't want a purple purse anymore.  And they just kept the joke going. 

I was at the mall today, getting my watch battery replaced and fell in love with this Fossil bag.  It took me forever to find that picture on the internet, but I was determined!   I think it just screams spring and fresh to me. 

And I would love to show you a picture of this pattern in a wristlet because I determined that is what I would really love.  Apparently, Fossil doesn't make this pattern in a wristlet. 

Maybe I should be a purse designer. 

Maybe I should just stick with being a stay at home mom. 

 

Weekend Wrap

Saturday we woke up bright and early and went to the Aid Sudan 5k.  The plan was to register the boys for the 1k and I would walk/run with them and Drew was running the 5k. 

The plan was set in motion.  I registered the boys.  Then decided I needed to go to the bathroom. 

I stood in line for 1 minute, heard the start for the 1k and walked back to where Drew was with the boys.

Except he wasn't there.  I couldn't see him anywhere.  It's not like he's short and he was pushing our big, orange, double stroller. 

I walked around.  I looked at the people walking/running in the 1k.  He had vanished.

Except he hadn't.  He was within a few feet of where I left them.  I just couldn't see them.

I braced myself for the boys' disappointment.  It didn't come.

I spotted donuts.  (The irony of donuts at a 5k run isn't lost on me.) 

We collected their t-shirts, chatted a little and made our way to the finish of the 5k to see Drew finish. 

It was at a park and the boys wanted to play but it was really small so we took them to a different park. 

Then we went home and got Kolby and I ready to go to a birthday party at the zoo. 

I was really regretting going, I just wanted to take a nap.  Kolby and I ended up having so much fun.  The party was easy going, Kolby got a carousel ticket, it was just enjoyable.  We got to walk around the zoo and see whatever Kolby wanted to see.  That doesn't happen often for the middle child.

When we got home, Sage had requested to play Monopoly.  Sage, Drew and I played.  Kolby and Levi played outside with the sand table.  We didn't finish, but I'm pretty sure Sage beat us pretty badly.  He had Park Place and Boardwalk and had a house on Boardwalk.

We finished the day with burgers, fries and grilled asparagus.  A great meal for a great day.

After the boys were all in bed, Sage and Kolby sleeping in a "tent" in their room (they've now slept in it for 3 nights), Drew made us strawberry chocolate shakes.  The perfect ending to a perfect day. 

Levi woke up with a fever this morning.  Drew stayed home from church with him.  We were convinced he was teething.  But then Levi fell asleep on Drew's lap twice. 

We've been meaning to buy a new thermometer, almost every time one of our kids gets sick.  I just kept putting it off.  My $3 one worked just fine.  Until Levi gets a fever and screams the whole time while I hold his arm down to get a reading.  Drew got a thermoscan from Costco.  Just scan it across the forhead.  In like 2 seconds, you get the temperature.  I highly recommend it.  It would also make a great baby shower gift.  We paid for it, I just have really enjoyed it today.  I'm even going to check his temperature before I go to bed. 

Good night!

Friday Morning Ramblings

Last night I was putting Levi to bed, I prayed and he was still snuggling against me so I asked him if he wanted me to sing.  He nodded yes.  So I started singing Jesus Loves Me.  He looked up at me, smiled, and reached his hand up to cover my mouth and said shh, shh. 

I laughed.  And now he does it everytime I sing. 

I built a tent this morning  for the boys in the living room.  They are happily watching Sesame Street from the tent.  At 9:30, Sage said this was the best day ever.  We had made lemonade and Rice Krispie Treats.  I'm thinking they might get to sleep in the tent tonight.  I'm going for best mom award.  Fully knowing that title can be stripped from me at any moment. 

I wish Starbucks deivered.  There is a Starbucks about half a block from my house and sometimes that still feels too far.  Especially when I've vowed to not leave the house today. 

I still feel shocked that we're having a girl.  Not that the shock has stopped me from buying some clothes!  Apparantly, I like polka dots. 

We decided to not transition anyone to a new room yet.  So, I won't be decorating for a little girl yet.  I returned the bedding that I had purchased before we found out she was a girl!  It was cute, polka dots, but I didn't love it.  It matched the green of the room and the brown quilt that is on the queen bed.  We're going to get some kind of bed for our room and have the baby in with us and see how things play out.  Levi cries still going to bed and I'm not ready to take him out of his crib.

Kolby has a birthday party to attend tomorrow at the zoo for twin boys.  I got them squirt guns. 

I feel the baby move quite a bit.  She seems lower than my other babies.  Drew and Sage have felt her move too.  Next month is my glucose screening test.  No eating after midnight.  Have I blocked that out?  I totally don't remember that. 

Technically, I didn't lock us out of the house...

this time.

We dropped Kolby off at school and went to the grocery store. 

Everything got checked off the list.  With a couple of additions, two- 1/2 gallons of ice-cream because Blue Bell was on sale.

Baggers decided that the blue cooler bags were optional for cold food and bagged the cereal and canned goods in them instead.  Was slightly irritated but decided it would be okay because I was going straight home. 

Park the van.  Get Levi out of car seat.  Practice walking with Levi while holding my hand.  No melt down, this time. 

Go to unlock the deadbolt.  The key spins around and around.  Deadbolt remains locked.

Call Drew.  Because he's who I call.  He calls locksmith.  The same locksmith that came to our house about 3 weeks ago when I did lock us out of the house.  Did I write about that? 

Go back to van, have Sage "watch" Levi so that I can repack our grocery bags so nothing melts.  Decide the 3 gallons of milk will be okay. 

Levi digs in dirt with his finger and brings me a finger of dirt to wipe off every couple of minutes.

Groceries are rearranged.  Sage pretends to drive van.  Levi sits in Kolby's car seat.  I clean up trash from van.

I spy a turtle.  Show Sage and Levi.  We go to see it up close.  He hides in his shell.  I ask Sage if he wants to touch it.  He doesn't.  I touch the shell.  Levi pets the turtle.  Sage finally touches the turtle.  We marvel at the hardness of the shell and how cool it is that the turtle can pull himself in and hide away from us.  The turtle keeps his head out a tiny bit, quickly pulling it back whenever Levi's little hand comes near him for a quick petting.  I think about how getting locked out of our house wasn't so bad.  I would have been putting away laundry or groceries and missed out on how cool God's creation is.  Wish I had my camera.

The lock guy arrives and opens door.  And made it look easy.  Start to think I might be an idiot. 

Indeed, the lock was broken.  Glad to not be an idiot. 

The lock was so old it had to be replaced instead of fixed. 

$70 later, no cold stuff ruined, and getting to see my boys marvel at a turtle, not so horrible.

Not that I enjoyed spending $70 on a lock, it just didn't ruin my day.  

The Zoo Trip That Maybe Shouldn't Have Been

The trip had been planned for weeks.  Maybe a month or more.  We were going to take someones mind off something.  And we planned it a long time ago.

It was rainy this morning.  And kind of chilly but not really chilly.

But, we packed our lunches and forged ahead.

And as we drove, the misty rain started to mist more.

We got there and met Kelli and Annalee in the parking lot.  Kelli was wearing shorts and had no rain jackets (it wasn't raining on her side of town- that is how huge our city is).  We decided to dart from inside thing to inside thing. 

We went to two inside things and when we bravely walked out to go to the meercats, the rain had stopped.

It left us some new friends.  The puddle.  Lots of new friends.

Sage and Kolby had already ran through one huge one on our way from inside thing number one to inside thing number two.

I told them no more puddles.  And called after them to walk around that rather large puddle.

A mom behind me commented that they are just kids and kids should be able to run through puddles.  Her comment hit me the wrong way.  I was so irritated that she would devalue my parenting in front of my kids.  And really, I had many good reasons as to why I didn't want them to run through puddles.  I could go on and on with reasons as to why I was irritated by her comment but I won't.

After we saw the elephants, do you know what I saw?!  She pulled her kid out of a puddle and scolded him for running and splashing in it.  Seriously.

We continued on our merry way looking at the jaguar and tiger.

And it was lunchtime.  We went to a covered area to eat.  And proceeded to switch lunches with everyone.

Then, we decided that the kids probably needed a diaper change.  They sweetly change their little girls.  And I pull Levi out of the stroller.

And discover the worst diaper.  Up the front and back of him.  No clothes could be salvaged.  Did I mention it was slightly chilly?  And guess which award winning mom pulled his extra clothes out of the diaper bag before leaving?

Right as I get his shirt off.  Kelli says, "Where's Kolby?"  We yell his name, he pops out from behind these pretend buildings, where he shouldn't have gone without someone knowing.

As he walks toward us, his face right under his nose is bringt red and it's smeared on his cheek.

Levi is running around the eating area with no shirt on and visible poo coming out the back.  And then Kolby runs off and then comes back with a bloody nose.

I herd Levi back.  Ask Kelli to hold his arms and not let him run off, wipe off Kolby's face.  And it appears to have stopped bleeding.

I get a plastic diaper sack out and lay that down for Levi to lay on the cold, hard table.  And he cries the whole time I'm changing him.  As if we needed more attention drawn to our situation.  But, really, he was probably freezing.  He was laying on a hard, cold table naked and I was wiping him with cold wipes.

I finished cleaning him up, put his jacket back on.  And told the boys we couldn't see anymore animals today.  Sage pouted.  And came up with the grand idea that Levi and I could go sit in the van and Annalee and Kelli could finish taking my boys around the zoo.

We left.

Levi and Kolby both fell asleep on the way home.

No naps were taken in our house this afternoon.

But, on the way home, we saw a reallly bad accident.  I prayed for the people in the accident and thanked God for keeping us safe.  Maybe that diaper change and nose bleed was just what we needed to keep us out of harms way.

I'll take a poopy diaper, a naked baby home and a bloody nose over a car accident any day. 

You Might Think I'm Crazy

I have a secret.

Not a bad secret.  Just a secret.  Well, not technically, a secret.  I've mentioned it to people before.  And they usually think I'm a little crazy.  Or wonder why. 

You wanna know what it is?

I think nose rings on women are beautiful.  Not hoops.  Or chains connecting from an ear to a nose. 

Just a small, simple stud.  Maybe gold, maybe a small diamond.  Small being the key word.

One you barely notice. 

I kind of want one.  Okay, I've wanted one for a long time and haven't thought that I could pull it off. 

But now.  Something's different.  Not about the way I look.  I think it is more of a confidence thing.  Maybe because I'm  shh 30.  I just feel more comfortable in my skin.  In what I wear.  I care less of how others view me.  

So, do you think I'm crazy?  

If you do, I'd be okay with that.   

I didn't go anywhere

Alternatly titled:  Whew, I've been busy

For Easter, we hosted 2 families.  9 kids (7 of them boys) and 6 adults total.  15 people in our little house.

It went really well. 

I made Pioneer Woman's Passover Brisket, Pioneer Woman's Twice Baked Potatoes, Swedish Rye bread, white bread rolls (bought), green bean casserole, glazed carrots, strawberry spinach salad, and raspberry jello salad.  For dessert, Pioneer Womans Strawberry Shortcake Cake and Chocolate Cream Cheese Pound Cake.

We had an egg hunt.  160 eggs.  It took about 3 minutes.  Apparently the ground doesn't make for very good hiding spots.

The day before, we went to a small town and went to an antique show.  We saw about .1 of all the booths.  But, we saw enough to boy some bloomers for Annika.  Monogrammed of course.  And a really cool bucket that now resides in our dining room. *Updated!  Drew talked the sweet woman down from $45 to $20.  That is the power of sending my man with my three boys to buy it and haggle.   

And, Monday night, I hosted Bunco.  Was there something else going on?  Oh, my sister and her husband drove to Indianapolis for the National Championship!  My sister graduated from Butler.  As soon as they won on Saturday night, they bought tickets and arranged child care.  They celebrated their 15th and 16th wedding anniversaries.  15 was last year and 16 will be this July.  Aren't they cute?

Oh, Bunco.  I had planned an NCAA Bunco.  Wear your favorite college t-shirt and come comfy.  The game was on the tv the whole time.  I served mini cupcake brownies, spinach dip, and individual fruit pizza's.  They were so stinkin cute.  (If I may say so myself)  I had a really fun time hosting it.  My prizes were earrings that I bought off Etsy.  I wished I could have kept every pair.

I'm just going to throw this out there as an FYI.  Frozen chicken breasts can be cooked at 350 degrees for 2 hours.  Don't plan on one hour, it won't be long enough.  Not that I would ever put frozen chicken breasts in the oven at 4:30 expecting them to be done when Drew got home at 5:30.  Because I'm a better cook than that.  Praise the Lord, Drew was late, he got home at 6:15.  I had already figured out my cooking debacle and sent Sage to shower before dinner.  Then I bathed Kolby and Levi and it worked out okay.  And I never Praise the Lord about Drew being late.

And tomorrow is Friday.  And Drew and I have a date.  And we found out last night that our friends are also having a baby girl in September.  It's been a good week.

Why Is It?

Why is it when I do a really fun activity with the boys, we can't make the fun last through lunch? 

And, why is it that it isn't entirely their fault, but sometimes mine as well?

Like today.  Sage started tennis again.  Our neighbor is teaching him.  (For free!)  And he's the number one player in Texas.  For his age group.  Which might be 80 -85. 

That's not what I was writing about.

So, Levi, Kolby and I headed on a "walk" around the neighborhood.  I had the camara. 

We camped out by our neighborhood pond.  We watched the turtles and ducks.  We blew bubbles.  Levi picked up duck poop.  I got to take a lot of pictures.  And wished I had read the book about how to take better pictures. 

It was lovely.

We walk to get Sage.  We play with some tennis balls.  We walk back towards our place with Coach.  Sage blows bubbles while we walk, it was lovely.

We get home.  Sage asks to blow bubbles on the deck.  I agree.  He and Kolby hed out, I wash the duck poop off Levi's hands officially.  (I poured bubbles on his hand when we were outside and then wiped it off with a leaf.  And hoped he didn't stick his hand in his mouth.  I'm pretty sure he didn't.  Mostly sure.)

Sage and Kolby are on the deck, the door is open, the breeze is breezy, it's lovely.

And then, Sage blows bubbles directly onto Kolby's neck.

Kolby screams. 

Sage does it again.

I yell.

Kolby cries more.

I yell some more. 

And make them all come inside and sit in their chairs while I make lunch. 

I could have handled it better.  Sage could have handled it better.  In the end, we all lose.  Bubble fun is over.  And my lovely morning came to a screeching halt. 

Here's praying nap time does us all some good! 

Funny Things (To Me)

I brought home a pack of bows the other day and was showing them to Drew at dinner. I said, "Let's try one on Levi, just to see what it will look like!"

Drew adamantly protested.

I giggled.

I put it on him.

Kolby burst into tears. He was so upset.

I took it out.

I could not stop laughing.

Drew just shook his head at me.

I apologized to Kolby for putting a bow on Levi's head.

I guess I'll only do that when Kolby isn't around. Just kidding, Drew! I won't do it again.

******************************************************************************

The morning after we found out we're having a girl, we're eating breakfast.

All of the sudden, Sage looks up and says "We have to get some girl movies!"

*******************************************************************************

After we got our dessert and found out it was a girl, Drew mentioned that she might need a sister. (This has not been Drew's position.)

Then we got home and I said, you can get the baby boy clothes out and we can start getting rid of them!

"What if we have another boy? We are not getting rid of those clothes yet."

More on the Name

Annika Karoline

Anika Karoline

Both pronounced AH nee kah

Origin meaning: Hebrew or Latin- grace; favour

Do you like one n or two better?

Anyway, I digress.

Drew and I have loved this name for years, before we were married actually.

He was working at a camp for a summer and I went to visit him. We had been dating all of 3 or 4 months. We had known each other for all of 6. Anyway.

One of the ladies on permanent staff, had an adorable 6 month old, blonde (well, bald), blue eyed, chubby cheeked baby girl, named Annika. She was so cute and adorable. We declared that the prettiest girl name we had ever heard and if we were ever to have a baby girl, she would be named Annika.

We went back to that same camp last summer, her mom still works there and Annika happened to help with the babies in the nursery. (Levi) She was now 10. Still blonde, blue eyed and beautiful. She was so sweet and kind. We decided she did not ruin the name 9 years later and possibly made it a little better.

Sage would have been Annika. Kolby would have been Annika. Levi would have been Annika.

In fact, while carrying Levi, we decided on Annika Karoline. I had alway said Annika Louise. Which I still love and Drew kind of, maybe didn't love it. The middle name is after the same person, Karoline, Loopty or Lions. She's been my best friend since third grade. Her middle name is Louise, the same as her two older sisters. Often, you will hear her dad call me Kristy Lou, because I was like the fourth daughter. Always there. Her whole family holds such a special place in my heart. I loved every minute that I spent at her house.

I wanted my daughter to be a little Ani Lou. Just like the grand daughters. But, Drew didn't love it. So, we agreed on Annika Karoline. And now, I love it.

Although, after writing this, I've almost convinced myself to change it!

Whoa, Drew just said I own the middle name. Now, I have some serious thinking to do! Lions, any thoughts?! Suddenly, I feel nervous.

Suspense Suspended!

But first, the story.

This morning was the first morning, I declared. It's a girl. I couldn't decide so this morning, I just decided to decide.

Drew got home at 6:40. Which is late for him. He's always home around 5:30/6:00 at the latest. Dern late meeting.

We all headed to Papasitos with the envelope tucked safely in my purse.

We ordered our drinks and queso. We waited forever for them.

Then we finally got to order our food. It didn't take forever but it seemed like a long time!

Drew ate one fajita and declared he was ready for dessert. We decided that with as long as it was taking for everything we better just order the dessert. {grin}

The boys wavered until the last minute. Sage declared it was a girl right before we ordered, and of course, Kolby declared girl too.

When he finally came back, Drew explained how important this envelope was and we ordered chocolate for a girl and cheesecake for a boy.

Waiting for the dessert to be brought out? Torture.

At one point, he came over with his tray lifted high and then set it down with a flourish and asked if he could take our dirty plates.

I told him that was cruel and unusual.

But the next time, he came with his tray high and had quite a few drinks around the edge (for the table next to us). As he set it down, I couldn't look.

I stared at Drew.

He whispered. "It's a girl!"

Then I looked:

Maybe we didn't totally trust him, we asked for the envelope back. Here's the proof. The ultra-sound tech wrote It's a Girl!!!! And the back of the envelope where I wrote girl dessert and boy dessert and he wrote our choices underneath.

Kolby may have cried right before he was going to bed saying he wanted it to be a boy. But, maybe we should leave that part out.

It is with great joy that we announce Annika Karoline will be welcomed by three big brothers in August!

More Suspense

We all went to the Big Appointment today.

The first plan was for me, Drew and Kolby to go (he would be out of preschool and the other two would be at Mothers Day Out). Then, a meeting got scheduled for Drew, so we changed the plans, everyone would come and we'd go out to lunch for the Big Reveal.

But, the appointment ran late, Drew had to get back to work for a different meeting. So, we're back to the first plan. Dinner tonight as a family at Papasitos.

The great news is that the baby looks great. Everything looks as perfect as it can look at the 19 week ultra sound.

That news isn't lost on me. As excited as I am to find out if we're having a girl or boy, I am so ecstatic to find out that the feet look beautiful and there is nothing to raise a flag. Everything measured on time, and looks normal.

The baby was curled up and she was having a hard time getting measurements. She even had me drink some water and finally she was able to get the measurements.

At the end, I didn't think she got a peek between the legs. I thought our decision had been made for us, it was just going to be a big surprise. But, she saw at some point, somewhere, something. And she knew. She is the one person who knows what we're having. Drew is carrying the envelope, he didn't trust me. I returned the trust when I wrote on the sealed flap Do Not Open.

Right now, I'm praising Jesus for a happy, healthy ultra sound. And that I was so excited going into it, no fear.

Oh, and Kolby asked me if my baby was yucky inside my tummy.

Kolby's Birthday Pictures

Before Breakfast

After Dinner
Don't you wish his mom had wiped the pizza off his face?

These cupcakes were gross. I didn't even finish mine. I blame the can of frosting. I usually make the frosting. I remembered why.

Chuck E. Cheese Party
Check out the naughty in the background.*

Getting Crowned

Hi-Five!

'Sup Dawg, I mean Rat.

The party at Chuck E. Cheese was great. (We paid for the whole thing by ourselves) My only job was to show up with the birthday boy, provide the numbers of the guests, bring cupcakes and ice-cream and enjoy. The hostess passed out pizza, drinks, cupcakes and ice-cream. And I totally redeemed the cupcakes that day.

I didn't want to post pics of the party goers, since they aren't my kids. But they all had a really great time! *The naughty was not one of our party goers.

Saturday the 20th

In 3 days, we get our peek. Our peek inside to see this baby of ours.

I've gone through a mixture of emotions.

Excitement, nervousness, excitement, anxiousness, calmness, and a little fear.

Mainly excitement and calmness.

One day, I'm convinced it's a girl.

The next, it's a boy.

Back and forth.

What are the odds we would have another boy?

50%

Drew claims 12%.

We're excited to see who God is growing inside me. I've been feeling little flutters for about a week now. Cute, sweet flutters.

We're going to find out as a family, that night. Don't expect a post Tuesday!

I'm nervous and excited all over again.

19 weeks tomorrow.

Kolby, You're 4!

Kolby,

You turned 4 more than a week ago. We had such a fun time celebrating you!

We threw a party for you, your first! Chuck E. Cheese. It was a great success. Your dad and I were celebrating more than your birth, Bo. We were celebrating a big year for you! Last summer, you outgrew the bar and shoes that you have worn since you were 6 months old for your clubfeet. We had always talked about what a big deal it would be when you didn't have to wear them at night anymore. And then, it just came. You were done. No leading up to it, no countdown, the doctor just said discontinue, we don't need to order the next size.

Your birthday seemed like the perfect opportunity. It was anti-climatic since no one there knew you when you were born. But we knew. We know what we've been through with you. And in a way, it was fitting. Since you were born with the clubfeet and we didn't know about it until your birth, we have just rolled with the punches. From the beginning, we just did what we had to do in order to correct your feet. And that is how treatment ended, just rolling with the punches.

At 4, you write your name, Bo. You recognize Bo and Kolby when written as your name. You randomly point those letters out when you see them and declare whatever word it is to be your name. You recognize most colors. You play with cars a lot, laying on your side. You draw smiley faces. You love to play with both your brothers.

Your dad and I were talking last night about how you can pronounce so many sounds now. But, you still struggle to use them on your own. You talk so much! We know 80% of the time what you're saying. Your favorite thing to say right as Drew is walking out of your room at night time is, "Dew, me tell you somefing. Um, Shage my broder?" The other night, Drew answered before you could ask and totally stumped you. It was funny.

You still call your dad, Drew. We have gotten used to it and Drew has even stopped correcting you.

You sing! Jesus Loves Me. Jingle Bells. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. You don't get all the words or the right tune but we recognize what your singing. You sing along to some of the kids cd's we have in the car too.

You are a sweet boy. So many parents of kids in your Sunday School class tell me how much their little boy or girl talks about you at home. I look forward to the day you tell me about your friends!

I love you so much.

Love,

Mama

Since this is longer than I intended, I'm going to post pictures from your birthday and party on a different day.

Spring Break

Kolby has spring break this week so I decided to keep Sage home from Mothers Day Out. I mentioned that it was spring break and I would plan some play dates.

On Sunday, Sage said "Mom, I'm so excited for all our play dates this week!"

I started texting and emailing my friends to see what I could set up.

So, Monday and Tuesday were groceries and house cleaning days.

Yesterday, we met a new family at church with 4 boys(!) at Chuck E. Cheese. Between the 7 boys, we finished off the 150 tokens we had leftover from Kolby's part on Sunday. (Post coming soonish on that party, I know your lives won't be complete without it!) I took our boys to Burger King for lunch. I put a tired Levi down for a nap and Kolby claimed to be tired. During his nap time, he pooped in his pull up and pulled out all the toys from 2 big storage things.

After naps, we went to Target. It was one of those days that mom wanted to look but the boys were wild. And mom was at the end of the patience pot.

Drew took Sage out for a special night. Sage chose McDonalds.

And now it's Thursday. We're going to the park today and having a picnic lunch.

And tomorrow. I have no ideas.

I'm going to have to get more creative before summer.

I bet there's an app for that!

As I said on Wednesday, Sage was sick a lot this week. Thursday morning, I called his fever over at 98.9.

Today, I was thinking back through his fever (Saturday night - Wednesday night) and wished I had kept a log of what his temperature was when I took it.

Then, I thought, I bet there's an app for that!

Drew, is that my one millionth reason for needing an iphone?

I bet that if I had an iphone, I could scan it over his forehead and it would read his temperature and then record it for me, it would also recognize which child's forehead I was scanning.

I don't think that's too much to ask from a phone. Do you?

A List of Thoughts

1. Kolby's birthday was a success. He woke up to presents and pancakes. He requested pizza and pancakes for his birthday dinner. I took the liberty of serving the Swedish pancakes for breakfast. He wanted the pizza ordered. He got a mini trampoline which now sits in our living room. Kind of tacky.
2. Sage has been sick since Saturday night. Drew and I went on a date and our friends watched the boys. When we picked them up, they said Sage was acting sluggish. He had said he had a headache right when we got there and when we picked him up, he had a fever and was coughing. I'm hopeful that his fever broke tonight. He took a 3.5 hour nap today! And he seems back to more normal tonight, playing and such. (It didn't, still 99.2 - The high has been 102)
   
3. I'm going a little stir crazy. I've driven Kolby to speech class and went to the grocery store Monday night and Target on Tuesday morning (with the sickie) because we really needed more cough medicene for him.
   
4. I'm planning on getting out on Saturday. But that is still two whole days away!
5. Sage missed singing in big church on Sunday with his choir.
   
6. We are trying to get our house ready to host Bunco in April. I think it will get done.
7. A picture fell in our downstairs powder room tonight and shattered. It caused me to think about redecorating. This is the powder room that I painted the palest shade of pink. It also has the black sink and toilet. I'm not going to do anything drastic, just hang some different stuff. That I need to find. I'm thinking Paris as my inspiration.
   
8. We have our big ultrasound in a couple weeks. I'm equal parts nervous and excited.
   
9. I'm nervous thinking about the curveballs that could get thrown our way. I keep trusting God and giving it to Him.
10. I have nothing left to say, I just couldn't leave number 10 blank.
    

Kolby's Club Feet Part 1

I started writing this post last August. I want to finish it. Someday. Even as I read through it today, I cried. Not out of sorrow. But out of the reminder that God is good. He has brought Kolby through so much in such a short 4 years.

Tomorrow is Kolby's birthday.

************************************************************************



Here I am checking out my sweet babe for the first time. I'm pretty sure at this point, I was saying his feet look clubbed. I was right.

Our little Bo at home within the first week. We used this picture as one for his birth announcement and took the opportunity to tell friends and family about Kolby's club feet. We also thought that this was probably the way he sat in the womb. Which also explained why I didn't feel kicks but more pushes.

Kolby is 6 days old getting his first set of casts. We went to Yale New Haven Hospital expecting the best, top of the line care. I believe, had we stayed with that doctor and his care, Kolby would not be the same little boy as today. This doctor claimed to practice the Ponseti method. We had researched the Ponseti method and knew it is the best, most non-invasive treatment of club foot. And it is proven. This doctor assured us that he practiced Ponseti's method. He told us he still treats the same patients, 18 years later. (Um, yikes) Then he started manipulating Kolby's feet. Kolby screamed. He applied casts up to Kolby's knee. The Ponseti method talks about applying the cast to the thigh to ensure that it doesn't slip and cause further damage. As we questioned him and I cried as my 6 day old screamed and had casts applied, he looked at me, looked at Drew and said "See why we don't put casts all the way up the thigh?" As if to say, the mothers can't handle it. We spent time talking to the resident. When asked the question, "Would you bring your own child here for treatment?" He said "No." (Um, huge yikes!) Most likely, Kolby would have seen a different resident and a different doctor every visit resulting in inconsistent care and probably surgery with a lifetime of pain and problems.

Here is Dr. Thomson our beloved doctor at Connecticut Children's Hospital in Harford, CT. This is the first time that Dr. Thomson applied Kolby's casts. He was so good with Kolby and with me. So much more gentle. Each and every time they gave me sugar water to dip Kolby's passy into. It helped sometimes and others not so much but at least I could do something besides watch my babe scream. They kept his diaper off so they could get the cast nice and high. As a side not, we drove 45 minutes each way to see him. Most of the visits were me, Sage and Kolby. It was hard, it took our whole day, it caused us to eat out for lunch and pay for parking. I would do it all over again in an instant.

First set of correct casts.

What a difference one week makes in the right kind of correction. After taking off the casts, which they did by soaking them, Kolby's feet and legs were so tender. We were extra careful holding him while we waited for Dr. Thomson. And he was extra careful as he applied the new casts. I remember one time a resident coming to look at how Kolby's feet and he grabbed it normally and twisted it around. As Kolby immediatly began screaming. And Dr. Thomson calmly explained the amount of pain that he had just caused my little one. The resident quickly apologized. I don't think we saw him again.

Embarrassed, Ashamed and In Need of a Good Cry

I feel like I should be at a support group meeting.

For mothers who fail at potty training.

Hi, my name is Kristy. My son will turn 4 in a week and he poops in his pants.

"Hi, Kristy."

See, he can poop in the potty. He has! Many times! On his own! Without me telling him to go!

But. More often than not, he poops in his night time pull up or his nap pull up. Or even his underwear. My mother in law was here last week and witnessed a very unfortunate event. We were at Monkey Joes, escaping the house in the midst of the remodel and the boys were having a blast. I got the camera out of the car to try to capture the fun. I took four blurred picture of Kolby and then got a whiff. It was not a good whiff. It resulted in Kolby and I going out to the van and changing him into an overnight pull up which had been purchased that morning, driving across the street to Marshalls and doing the walk of shame through the store in a pull up.

Did I mention it was 40 degrees and raining?

That incident was the icing on the cake. The straw that broke the camels back.

She, my mother in law, who is a pediatric triage nurse, said that the doctors in her office would say to put him back in a pull up. He'll poop on the potty when he is ready.

So he is back in a pull up. Kind of embarrassing for a big kid who is about to turn 4.

But, he's not embarrassed at all.

His mom is mortified. A pull up screams failure to all who see it peeking out of his size 4 or 5 pants.

Yes, we've tried the naked time. He poops on the floor. He may or may not tell us. He leans heavily toward the may not.

I'm looking for support here. Not advice.

I know, I know, someday, I won't have to buy him pull ups. He could possibly be in college, except that preschool only takes kids who are fully potty trained. And he is supposed to start preschool in September. I fully expect to lose that $250 deposit and pull him out because he still poops in his pants. I guess homeschooling might be our only option.

We've promised the world. A fishing pole. A trip to Disney World (only a slight joke).

I'm at the end of my rope. And it wasn't a long rope. I thought no child could be harder than Sage who took a month exactly of pooping in his underwear every other day. It's been a year since we started potty training.

I think I just heard God chuckle.

And oh, yes, he needs to read this when he is older. His future wife needs to know the potty training heritage of which he comes.