My tag line on Facebook is something like "I'm living my dream; I just never realized it would involve so much poop."
That could be interpreted two different ways, like life is full poop and you just have to deal with it. Or, my way, literally poop.
My mom always told the story about my sister smearing her poop all over her crib. Spindle bars, of course. But that was her only poop story. That I remember anyway.
Yesterday, we had some errands to run. Post office, book store, mall, and the library. I am usually not that adventurous in my errand running. I stick to two but we were moving fast and making progress.
We ate lunch at the mall and Levi told me "Peeyou!" Meaning he needed his diaper changed. We did the deed. But the diaper was strangely dry. I changed it anyway, using my only diaper in my purse. (Note: I used my only diaper. No, I don't take a diaper bag with me. I keep a diaper and wipes in my purse. Note: that is stupid.)
We had one last stop at the library to pick up Adventures in Odyssey on cd, it was on hold so it should be a quick in and out. Except that my hold had expired the day before and they are really quick to put those holds back on the truck to some other lucky family.
So we were perusing the book on cd selections. When I heard a sound. A very liquid sound. And Levi said "Peeyou!" And boy was he right. Remember how I used my one and only diaper? And how I don't carry a diaper bag? (I'm so keeping it in the van.)
Being the laidback kind of mom, I just finished my perusing, a little more quickly and we got out of there. I stripped Levi of his overalls and found a gross hand towel to cover his carseat. Calm, cool and collected. We made it home and I got him cleaned up. Drew cleaned up the stroller when he got home. Oh, yes, the stroller was quite disgusting.
Then, we went to swimming lessons for Sage and Kolby. Kolby had an accident in his swim suit. I was not so calm, cool and collected this time. He'd done it last week too so I knew what was coming as to the clean up of him and the bathroom that would need disinfecting. And it broke me. I was a less than stellar mommy. I was a pretty horrible mommy.
I really wanted to end the day and the story on a funny note, but I just can't get over the fact that I was a downright terrible mommy. I have many excuses for acting so terrible. But they don't matter. I was not letting the Holy Spirit help me. Sure I prayed. I prayed "I can't do this!" Um, not really a helpful prayer. I have apologized and reapologized to the boys. I've talked about how I wasn't acting the way that I try to teach them to act. I talked about how mommy needs Jesus. And how mommy had to ask for forgiveness from God and how isn't God's grace amazing? I didn't promise I wouldn't ever do it again. Because I'm a sinner. But, I'm going to pray that I don't break down like that again. It was rough on all of us.
So, poop! It's gross and there is a lot of it in our house. And I'm about to have another pooping machine! But girls poop is cuter and doesn't smell, right?!