Saturday, May 22, 2010

stream of conciousness

It's Saturday night at 9:30pm. 

I took the boys swimming today for the first time this summer.  Sage kind of remembers how to swim.  At least, he remembers how to keep himself above water.  He jumped right into the deep end yelling "Cannonball!"  And then looked scared but made it to the side.

Kolby is still his cautious, sink to the bottom self.  His kick seems stronger this year.  I hope this is the summer that he gets it. 

Levi got braver the longer we were there.  By the end, he was walking in the shallow end.  His balance walking in the water needs to improve.  He never dunked himself accidentally, but he didn't let go of my hand. 

I told the boys they could go to any restaurant they wanted tonight.  Sage said McDonalds or Chick-fil-A.  I said, any restaurant, what about Rainforest Cafe?  Sage said he really wanted to go somewhere he could get a toy.  I chose Chick-fil-A.  They all three got the same book and kept it.  No one wanted ice-cream.  Well, Levi didn't get a choice.  I'm pretty sure he would have chosen ice-cream.

Speaking of Levi.  That kid talks!  He repeats everything.  And he makes it so much clearer how speech delayed Kolby is.  Like Levi will say ha for hat.  And we'll say haT.  And he'll say haT.  We still have to do that with Kolby.  I'm not complaining, just saying it how it is.  I can understand most of what Kolby says, especially if it is in context.  If he wants to tell me something or sometimes, he makes up a story, I won't have a clue as to what he is saying.  Sometimes, I have to tell him that I just don't understand.  It frustrates him, it frustrates me, it makes me sad.  Levi is by far our earliest talker.  Sage started talking more around 2.  

While at Chick-fil-A, there were some other kids there playing in the playplace and the little boy was hitting and pushing Kolby and Sage.  Sage told him to stop and Sage didn't complain about it again so I thought he did.  Kolby cried though.  So, the little boy kept hitting and pushing him.  Of course, I am the only parent in there.  I talked to Kolby, told him to stop crying and tell the little boy to stop it. 

We ended up leaving.  What would you have done? 

In the van, I made Kolby practice speaking firmly, "Stop hitting me.  I don't like it."  Kolby is a great victim.  Someone wrongs him, he cries.  Whether it really hurt him or not.  We see it happen with Levi at home.  Levi knows which buttons to press with Kolby and Kolby plays the victim role perfectly.  Rarely, does he hit or push Levi back.  And to be totally honest, when he does, Levi completely deserves it.  But, we don't encourage that. 

I'm 28 weeks tomorrow.  Third trimester.  Um, wow.  I had my glucose screening yesterday.  And my rhogam shot. 

I'm not feeling so hot about the doctor or hospital I've chosen.  I asked yesterday about having to have the pitocin and she told me about how it is standard, how it helps the uterus to get hard and firm and lessens the bleeding.  She asked if it was really that bad.  I said it was the worst ever.  I had been through labor and delivery twice before and didn't have an iv or pitocin and no complications.  Anyway, I could go on and on, I know there are medical reasons for an iv, but the pitocin is, I can't think of a word, stupid.  I know breastfeeding does the same thing and I do that with my babies.  Maybe if the hospital didn't take my baby for 5 hours, an hour after I delivered, I could breastfeed more and avoid the pitocin. 

So, I'll be calling a different hospital that has midwives and see what their standards are.  The bummer is, it is farther than 5 minutes away which is where my doctor and hospital are currently.  It is at least a half hour.  And I have to pay for parking.  Drew is encouraging me to at least check out my options.

And that was longer than I thought it would be.

To summarize,  how do you handle when your kid is being treated wrongly by another child whose parent isn't present?  And how do I get Kolby out of the victim mentality? 


  1. I do NOT think giving somebody pitocin after giving birth is standard. And the only normal reason for the IV is if you are GBS positive and need the antibiotics. If I were you, I would look for a different healthcare provider STAT. You seem to have stumbled onto an OB/GYN who is pretty out of touch.

  2. I was thinking the other day and wondering, is there something that JUST Kolby does and is GREAT at? Like didn't Sage play soccer? Can there be an activity that ONLY Kolbs does and y'all can make a really big deal about it, the whole family goes to watch him and support him, Kolby is soooo special, etc.? Like a sport or hobby? I don't know. I just was thinking about that the other day, it's worth a shot.

    I have Levi repeat after me all the time. The other day I had him say "cheese" for a cheese stick (You may have already taught him that, but I felt like I did :) and he just kept repeating it and pointing at the fridge. Then I had to tell him, "It's great that you're asking for cheese, but um, you've had enough cheese, no more."

    When the kids are playing at Promise Land and they come to us complaining about certain kids being mean I just always tell them to not play with that kid anymore, just avoid him. That seems to work. But you probably tried that.

    This was the longest comment ever.

  3. I don't know for sure but I think that a lot of hospitals kind of validate your parking if you are an actual patient there. Might be something to ask them. I hate having to pay for parking at hospitals too.

    Oh, and I know that everyone is different, but after my most recent delivery they didn't give me pitocin because I blew my IV in the water birth that I did. Anyway, they just didn't bother with it and then I started throwing these huge clots even though I was nursing and the midwives had to bring in a doctor and it was kind of a scary situation and the doctor kind of yelled at the midwives that if they had just taken the time to replace my IV and given me the tiny bit of pitocin that they do afterward we wouldn't have to be doing this. Anyway, that is just what happened to me. You totally don't have to post this on your comments section. Maybe this childbirth part is too . . . I don't know what the word is, gross? Personal? Well, whatever, you can decide.

  4. I am still thinking about those last questions...

    BUT I seriously don't know of anyone who got pitocin after delivery?? I had it before, but they stopped it once I started pushing.

    Would it be possible to try other Dr. close to your house? My pedi recommended two out by you. Let's talk. You could come out here to deliver... it's a bit closer. Abby did it no drugs and I am almost CERTAIN her doc did not give her pitocin.

  5. What!? Pitocin is sooooo not standard. That creeps me out, actually. Run away. Are they saying you have to get it after delivery? That's insane.

    (this is coming from a mom who does epidurals, has been induced, and is having her 3rd c-section in August...I don't mind the interventions IF THEY ARE 100% NECESSARY and it's beyond obvious)

    I have a kid who is picked on. It's not easy to overcome and it makes him a frequent target of bullies. We've role-played with him, told him outright he can fight back with tough words, and done everything we can think of to equip him...but still, it seems to be who he is---sensitive, generous, trusting. Good qualities, really, and things we don't want to change in him. It's a hard balance to find.

  6. Yep, I'd check out other options--midwives if possible. I didn't have pitocin after either delivery and didn't have the iv with Marketa. With the boys' delivery, they put in an iv and gave me fluid, just in case they'd have to do an emergency c-section since they are twins. Everything was fine and with Marketa I just told the nurse I didn't want the iv at all. I'll do the same next month with this delivery.

  7. I just switched to midwives at women's specialists of houston for that same reason! the hospital I had both e and p at always uses pitocin and I just don't agree....had several things go wrong. So far I am very happy with my decision. Email me if you want!

  8. I don't have kids yet, so I got nuthin on the kid questions. =) But I wanted to encourage you to find a doctor you like/trust and a hospital that realizes YOU are the customer. It's your baby and your body and...I have tons of friends now who have delivered at hospitals or at home and have had to fight for no or fewer drugs...but they have ALL been so happy they did. Fight the fight! =)

  9. Whoa, baby. I'm not a crunchy mom at all (HELLO epidural!), but I've never heard of giving pitocin as a standard thing. And they take your baby for five hours after delivery? What? Is that hospital policy or your OB? I would switch for sure, even if I had to drive.

    Good luck!!


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