stream of conciousness

We went on vacation.

And then we got back.

And I didn't write about it. I've been thinking about what to write and how to incorporate our pictures.

But, while there, we noticed Kolby's left foot turning in a little bit. Drew's mom had been to Houston in early May and said she noticed it then too.

So, I've been on the phone and online trying to figure out what to do. The dilemma has been whether to take him to a Ponseti certified doctor or not. We hadn't been for seeing one for our yearly check ups, which was coming up at the end of this month. I had thought it would be okay because they were just check ups. As long as I didn't think anything was going wrong, we'd stay in network with our doctor.

The more I talked to Drew, he discerned that I was going to want a second opinion from a Ponseti certified doctor even if I took Kolby to this doctor. Primarily, because I didn't trust him. When we first moved here, I took Kolby to see him and one of his residents saw Kolby first (at age 2) and he told me we could probably be done with wearing the bar at night. Ponseti clearly recommends until age 4. After the appointment, I emailed the doctor and expressed my concerns. He admitted that he would have been comfortable with letting us stop wearing the bar at night.

Fast forward to his 3 year old check up and the shoes were too small. I was there to request a fitting for a new pair. Surprise to us, he discontinued use of the bar, said Kolby's feet were great! We were ecstatic.

I wish I would have followed my first gut feeling and insisted on new shoes and insisted on keeping him in them until he was 4.

I have an appointment in Houston for the end of this month with a Ponseti certified doctor who is out of our network. I have a call into a doctor in Dallas, in network, to see if we can get in to see him sooner. So many details need to work out. I keep reminding myself that I'm not in control. God is. And he will do what is best for us.

Sage's birthday is this week. We're having a small party for him on Saturday. And I'm trying to get things ready for that too.

And Annika is due in less than 5 weeks. I don't even want to list out what we need to do for her arrival. Her clothes are literally heaped on the bed in Levi's room. Nothing has been washed. I don't really know what I have and what I need. I'm going by the seat of my pants this time! And this is not like me at all.

Kind of a downer post to come back with, huh? This is life right now for us. Get on and enjoy the ride with us!

I feel like I have to write a disclaimer. I'm not overly worried about Kolby. I trust God that what has to happen will happen. But, man I want to know the details of how it's going to work! Drew might have to take Kolby by himself and that tears me apart. I need to be with him. I was at every. single. appointment when he was a baby and now... I'm crying just thinking about not being with him. I might disobey doctors orders and go anyway. But, maybe I won't tell you until after we get back!

I missed posting a picture of the kids on July 1. Maybe I'll take it on Sage's birthday and try to get back on track in August.