Kolby's Club Feet Part 1

I started writing this post last August. I want to finish it. Someday. Even as I read through it today, I cried. Not out of sorrow. But out of the reminder that God is good. He has brought Kolby through so much in such a short 4 years.

Tomorrow is Kolby's birthday.

************************************************************************



Here I am checking out my sweet babe for the first time. I'm pretty sure at this point, I was saying his feet look clubbed. I was right.

Our little Bo at home within the first week. We used this picture as one for his birth announcement and took the opportunity to tell friends and family about Kolby's club feet. We also thought that this was probably the way he sat in the womb. Which also explained why I didn't feel kicks but more pushes.

Kolby is 6 days old getting his first set of casts. We went to Yale New Haven Hospital expecting the best, top of the line care. I believe, had we stayed with that doctor and his care, Kolby would not be the same little boy as today. This doctor claimed to practice the Ponseti method. We had researched the Ponseti method and knew it is the best, most non-invasive treatment of club foot. And it is proven. This doctor assured us that he practiced Ponseti's method. He told us he still treats the same patients, 18 years later. (Um, yikes) Then he started manipulating Kolby's feet. Kolby screamed. He applied casts up to Kolby's knee. The Ponseti method talks about applying the cast to the thigh to ensure that it doesn't slip and cause further damage. As we questioned him and I cried as my 6 day old screamed and had casts applied, he looked at me, looked at Drew and said "See why we don't put casts all the way up the thigh?" As if to say, the mothers can't handle it. We spent time talking to the resident. When asked the question, "Would you bring your own child here for treatment?" He said "No." (Um, huge yikes!) Most likely, Kolby would have seen a different resident and a different doctor every visit resulting in inconsistent care and probably surgery with a lifetime of pain and problems.

Here is Dr. Thomson our beloved doctor at Connecticut Children's Hospital in Harford, CT. This is the first time that Dr. Thomson applied Kolby's casts. He was so good with Kolby and with me. So much more gentle. Each and every time they gave me sugar water to dip Kolby's passy into. It helped sometimes and others not so much but at least I could do something besides watch my babe scream. They kept his diaper off so they could get the cast nice and high. As a side not, we drove 45 minutes each way to see him. Most of the visits were me, Sage and Kolby. It was hard, it took our whole day, it caused us to eat out for lunch and pay for parking. I would do it all over again in an instant.

First set of correct casts.

What a difference one week makes in the right kind of correction. After taking off the casts, which they did by soaking them, Kolby's feet and legs were so tender. We were extra careful holding him while we waited for Dr. Thomson. And he was extra careful as he applied the new casts. I remember one time a resident coming to look at how Kolby's feet and he grabbed it normally and twisted it around. As Kolby immediatly began screaming. And Dr. Thomson calmly explained the amount of pain that he had just caused my little one. The resident quickly apologized. I don't think we saw him again.

Embarrassed, Ashamed and In Need of a Good Cry

I feel like I should be at a support group meeting.

For mothers who fail at potty training.

Hi, my name is Kristy. My son will turn 4 in a week and he poops in his pants.

"Hi, Kristy."

See, he can poop in the potty. He has! Many times! On his own! Without me telling him to go!

But. More often than not, he poops in his night time pull up or his nap pull up. Or even his underwear. My mother in law was here last week and witnessed a very unfortunate event. We were at Monkey Joes, escaping the house in the midst of the remodel and the boys were having a blast. I got the camera out of the car to try to capture the fun. I took four blurred picture of Kolby and then got a whiff. It was not a good whiff. It resulted in Kolby and I going out to the van and changing him into an overnight pull up which had been purchased that morning, driving across the street to Marshalls and doing the walk of shame through the store in a pull up.

Did I mention it was 40 degrees and raining?

That incident was the icing on the cake. The straw that broke the camels back.

She, my mother in law, who is a pediatric triage nurse, said that the doctors in her office would say to put him back in a pull up. He'll poop on the potty when he is ready.

So he is back in a pull up. Kind of embarrassing for a big kid who is about to turn 4.

But, he's not embarrassed at all.

His mom is mortified. A pull up screams failure to all who see it peeking out of his size 4 or 5 pants.

Yes, we've tried the naked time. He poops on the floor. He may or may not tell us. He leans heavily toward the may not.

I'm looking for support here. Not advice.

I know, I know, someday, I won't have to buy him pull ups. He could possibly be in college, except that preschool only takes kids who are fully potty trained. And he is supposed to start preschool in September. I fully expect to lose that $250 deposit and pull him out because he still poops in his pants. I guess homeschooling might be our only option.

We've promised the world. A fishing pole. A trip to Disney World (only a slight joke).

I'm at the end of my rope. And it wasn't a long rope. I thought no child could be harder than Sage who took a month exactly of pooping in his underwear every other day. It's been a year since we started potty training.

I think I just heard God chuckle.

And oh, yes, he needs to read this when he is older. His future wife needs to know the potty training heritage of which he comes.

stream of conciousness

My in-laws came on Saturday. My father in law has been hard at work building a built-in for our entertainment accessories. You know what I mean, the DVR, the blue ray player, the speakers and whatever else goes in there. I'm not going to pretend to know.

We have eaten out every single night except for one. I made a really great dinner. Crockpot french dips, Pioneer Woman's mashed potatoes, green beans and Bakerella's peach dessert. I would link to those but am too lazy. I kind of made up the french dip recipe. 5 lbs of roast, not chuck roast, I can't remember what kind I bought. 2 packages of french dip au juice that makes 2 cups each, one packet of italian dressing, one can of beef broth. Cook on low for 8 - 10 hours.

I am also slightly nervous that I may not be able to turn our new tv on or off. We are going from 2 remotes, one which was for the dvd player only, to 4. Heaven help me.

We have had to leave our house everyday this week from about 8:30 - 5ish. That makes for one very tired mama. And one very tired 15 month old. I put him and Sage in Mothers Day Out yesterday because I was sure he would get a good nap there. It failed. He only slept 15 minutes in the van after I picked him up.

We've been to the zoo. We went to Monkey Joes. We drove to Brenham, TX for a 30 minute tour of the Blue Bell ice-cream factory. Save yourself the trip and buy some ice-cream. It was a long drive. We've been to the park. And the mall. And yesterday, Judy and I shopped at the Galleria, by ourselves. I didn't push a stroller. It was lovely.

Judy spoils us and I may have a new purse and a new skirt to wear over leggings for the spring and summer.

Tonight, we will eat Pizza Hut $10 pizzas and watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs on our new tv. The built ins will be built but not painted, but we are all ready for the mess to be cleaned up and to sit in our own house to eat a meal someone else made.

Next time they come, we will not let James do a project, his project will be to enjoy his grandsons. Otherwise, they may never come back!

Fear Grips Me

I got rock star parking, right next to the door. Almost right next to the door. I skipped the elevator and took the two flights of stairs down and thought about how I would stop in the pharmacy and get a pack of gum.

$1.24 for a pack of gum and then a thought, out of nowhere, "There isn't going to be a heartbeat, the baby is going to be dead."

And the next thought. "For I did not give you a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous? Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Peace.

The ultrasound was fired up. The baby was seen immediately. The heartbeat strong.

I mentioned Kolby being born with bilateral clubfoot and wanting to make sure we look closely at this baby's feet at the big ultrasound. We don't know why Kolby was born with clubfoot. No doctors can really tell us, it could be genetic, it could be womb positioning.

She offerred a new opinion. It can be related to chromosomes. To Trisomy 13 or 18 or Downs Syndrome. She recommended the blood work for the chromosome testing. To rule things out.

I agreed.

I scheduled my next appointment and called Drew. I told him we were doing the testing.

Conversation over.

Sunday morning, Curtis Jones reads Philippians 4:4-9. A familiar passage. "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I say rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or head from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

And the song while we were praying quietly:

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
when sorrows like sea billows roll;
whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul

Then:

All to Jesus I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

• Refrain:
  I surrender all,
  I surrender all;
  All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
  I surrender all.

God was telling me that I wasn't surrendering all. I wasn't saying It Is Well.

I kept these tidbits of information to myself.

Drew and I were discussing the test again. He asked me what it would change if we found something out before the baby was born or the minute the baby was born. I argued that we could prepare our hearts, prepare the boys.

"You just want control of when you grieve."

I didn't know what to say.

He was right.

I surrender.

I surrender this pregnancy.

This baby.

Testing won't change the outcome of the pregnancy. I'll carry the baby as long as God has planned.

God already knows.

And I'm called to trust.

Not to try to control.

Two Totally Unrelated Stories

I was "recycling" my breakfast into the kitchen sink where the handy garbage disposal can do its work.

Kolby stood at the counter watching. I stuck my hand out to shoo him away (I don't like an audience) and as I stuck my hand out, he grabbed it and held me.

In a small, sweet voice he said "Mama, you otay?"

I shook my head yes and told him to go away. Mama will be fine.

*****************************************************************************************

I sat in the drive thru window at Arby's waiting for tonights dinner, 4 for $5 regular roast beef sandwiches.

I glanced inside to see the man who puts the food in bags and on trays, grab a fry and pop it into his mouth.

I don't even know what to say.

4 Questions

From the mouth of Kolby:

1) Ma, you my mommy?

2) Ma, Dew my dad?

3) Ma, any monter (monster) here?

4) Ma, Yebi (Levi), Shage (Sage) my brother?

Chinese Birth Chart

I dreamed about the Chinese Birth Chart last night. I woke up obsessed with finding one. I fed the kids breakfast and grabbed my laptop.

Of course, I started with this pregnancy. It said, "Congratulations, It's A Son!" My heart might have sunk just a little.

And then, I thought, 93% accuracy? Yeah, right. So I tested Sage, Kolby and Levi. It got two of the three right.

At the end of the day, I don't totally believe it.

But, I'm also not running out to buy pink clothes.

And now, I have to totally clarify. I would love a fourth boy. It would be fun to be a total boy mom. And I would definitely buy a BoyMom shirt. I would embrace it and love it.

This Might Come Out All Wrong

I have this weird running commentary in my mind of what I should write. Basically, it is a running commentary of nothing.

I ate Ramen noodles for lunch. Chicken flavor. They actually sounded good. Food doesn't usually sound good. But, it left a horrible taste in my mouth. Everything leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I chew a lot of gum. And I brush my teeth a lot. When I chew gum, I have to have something to spit it out at any given moment or I might throw up. And when I brush my teeth, I might gag which makes me think I'm going to throw up. And sometimes I do. It's a good day when I don't gag while brushing my teeth.

I love Gilmore Girls. Reruns are on everyday at 4.

I can't login to Facebook. It keeps telling me I have the wrong email/password combination. So, I changed the password via the Facebook people. Last night I had a dream that some crazy person hacked my account and posted some really weird things under my name. And then I had to make my blog private and change all my email stuff. And I promptly forgot all about it this morning. I just checked my email and I don't have an email from Facebook. Any advice?

My fingernails are too long. They are annoying me while I type.

Kolby got his stiches out today. The doctor said noses heal beautifully. And to stop using neosporin. Which the ER doctor said I had to use 3 times a day so that it wouldn't dry out. And he said that was all wrong and now Kolby has a rash, a yeast infection, from using neosporin for a week. Oops. He also said it will clear up all on its own. And he does surgery on 1 lb. baby's hearts. Good to know. Also, next time we get stiches, insist on dissolvable. Tell them Dr. Bloss insists. And we all know that there will be a next time. And if they were dissolvable, it would save me the co-pay to get them out. Or in this case, 2 co-pays. Oh, yes. We went to our normal pediatrician on Monday who said they weren't ready to come out yet. And he wanted us to see a pediatric surgeon.

Sage got a retainer today. The orthodontics has already begun! He has to wear it 24 hours a day, except for eating. He has a cross bite. Every 2 days, I have to make it wider with a key. He talks really funny. And loves to tell me about it. How water goes through this line. And millk. He thinks it is really cool. And he got two cases, one for home and one for school, red, his favorite color. He's taking it for show and tell tomorrow. Well, he kind of has to.

See? Random and weird. It's all I've got.

That's Gonna Leave A Mark!

slippery sidewalk

+

brick steps

=

9 stitches.

being pappoosed in a straighjacket

+

not crying through all 9 stitches

=

3 scoops of ice cream with sprinkles

and

1 new Wall-E spinning toothbrush.

stream of conciousness

These streams of consciousness posts may be all I can handle.

My mom is here this week. Which means that after I take Kolby to preschool in the morning, I get to come home, take a nap (yes, at 8:45 in the morning) and then take a shower without thinking about what Sage and Levi are doing. Glorious.

Last night, I went to a bloggy meet up. It was my first and oh so fun. I was nervous to go, almost canceled at the last minute. But, like so many things, I'm so glad I went. The women were incredible. The chatting so fun. The food yummy. It was just what I needed.

I haven't been sleeping well at night. I have really weird, vivid dreams. Last night, I had a dream that Levi fell off some wood stairs about 15 stairs up and landed flat on his back and head. He was scooting down the wood stairs on his bottom and there wasn't a rail. He started going too fast and I grabbed his white, quilted vest (no, he doesn't own one) but it didn't help, it slid off his body, turned him around and made him fall of the edge of the stairs. I was crying, fluid came out of his ears and we went to the ER. And then I woke up.

I've been surviving. It seems like the worst of the nausea happens when Drew is home. But, my emotions are all over the place. The boys frustrate me no matter what they do. I'm not getting up earlier than them and it is really showing in my attitude for the day. I need some alone time with God before I can be a good mommy. But, I'm so tired.

I can't wait for the second trimester.

stream of conciousness

MckMama has been doing these stream of consciousness posts and I thought I would give it a try. It seems like an easy way to jump back into blogging.

I had been feeling really terrible. I almost passed out in Sunday School but thanks to my friend, Jennifer who brought me a donut and water, I didn't. Sunday night I had an episode in a parking lot of one of our favorite restaurants. It in no way reflected the food, just my current state of pregnant. Since then, I've been feeling a lot better except so tired.

I can't stand the smell of poo. I puked while changing Levi's diaper once. Now I wear a mask while I change it. I made Kolby flush before I wiped his bottom and still almost didn't hold it together. Did you want to know that?

Speaking of Kolby on the pottty, it's amazing he put his poo there today. That has been really frustrating lately. We're back to giving him a sucker every time he does it. It worked today!

Sage and Kolby have been best of friends lately. And I love it. This afternoon, Kolby was being disciplined and in the middle, right before the good part, he said "Ma, Sage my buddy?" Except it sounds more like "Ma, Age ma buhhy?"

They can also be the worst of enemies but it never lasts long. Right now, they are on the deck playing tennis. They've hit the ball over the wall 4 times and I've declared that they won't be going outside to get anymore lost balls. Now, they're sharing the one they have left.

Levi took a spill at the park yesterday and the ground won. He has scrapes under his eye, on his forhead and right under his nose. He tried to walk down a hill. I guess he isn't that great of a walker yet.

I tried to schedule Kolby's yearly appointment to check his feet for flexibility and the doctor is booked through May. I thought I was so on top of things calling in January for February or March.

Sage is getting good at his HOP (Hooked on Phonics) books. He is almost through the yellow kindergarten book. We're going to celebrate when he finishes.

Speaking of Sage, he has a cross bite and got his teeth imprinted this morning to get a retainer. A $250 retainer that he has to wear for a month. He did so well getting his teeth imprinted that the dentist rewarded him with a spinning toothbrush. She had told him that his mom would have to pay for it (he asked if he could have it) and in the end, she was so impressed with how well he listened that she wanted to give him a reward. He came home and brushed his teeth right away.

After sending Kolby back to preschool last week and not having gone over his flashcards once over Christmas break, his teacher commented on how we must have been practicing, he did so well! I love the power of God.

Have I told you our family's prayer for Kolby? We're praying that his speech is dramatically improved by May. We're praying that his speech is so improved that it will only be a God thing. And now, I'm wondering, How should I be preparing for rain? You know the parable where two farmers pray for rain but one goes out and prepares for it? So, tell me, how should I prepare for rain?

Answers

Due August 15.

About 8 weeks along.

We've known for about 3 weeks. My doctor's norm is to do a 6 week ultrasound to determine the due date. On December 23, I went alone while Drew was with the boys. She didn't see what she wanted to see (a baby), but she did see a yolk sac (the beginnings of a pregnancy). She took my blood to check my hormone levels (which were in the normal range) and set up an appointment for 2 weeks later to do another ultra sound. After telling me that if I had cramping or bleeding, it would be an emergency and to definitely call her. I didn't know what questions to ask. So, I went home and then realized what she hadn't said. "You're pregnant!"

We had planned to send out the announcement that you saw on the blog as a post card but after the initial appointment, decided to wait to announce anything until we knew what was happening.

And then, on Thursday, after seeing the baby and seeing the heartbeat and hearing it, we were so excited, so relieved that we didn't want to waste time ordering the postcard and then mailing it out. So, we announced it on the blog!

Only my brother didn't understand it! His wife had to explain it to him. And to clarify it was my oldest brother.

It was kind of a long two weeks. I had moments of complete peace. Peace that God would carry us through wherever he would take us. Peace that if this baby wasn't going to grow, God would get me through. And even moments of peace that this baby was going to grow and we looked too early. And moments where I was anxiously waiting for cramping, bleeding, something to signal the beginning of the end.

And after seeing that sweet little heartbeat and hearing it. I feel so blessed. In awe and wonderment. I know plenty of women who want to be pregnant, who have experienced loss. And this time, I get to dance around it. Avoid it. And I wonder, why me?

I don't take being pregnant, getting pregnant, lightly. I am so blessed. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I take every single one of your congratulations with a huge smile on my face. And I pray for so many of you, I can't wait to return the congratulations. And I will be thrilled for you.

We are ecstatic. The boys are excited. And I will not complain about the morning sickness. I will endure it because it too is a gift. And I know that God gives and he takes away. And I plan on blessing His name regardless of the season in which I am walking.

Things I Want to Tell You

- Levi has slept through the night the last 3, or is it 4, nights! Yes, the first 3 or 4 in his life. Yes, he is 13.5 months old. Thank you very much.

- He won't tonight because I typed the above sentence.

- Christmas day was a lot of fun.

- Drew and I were so excited that we got up at 5:30 and 5:45.

- And waited until 6:15 for all 3 boys to wake up.

- And might have snagged Levi out of his crib when he gave the slightest whine, but wasn't fully awake.

- We tried to make a fire, but our wood wast a little wet.

- Sage and Drew put together a Star Wars lego ship. It took hours. And a little yelling. But no tears.

- Kolby had some stomach issues, so we didn't go to our friends house for brunch.

- We missed our families. Very much.

- We missed the snow our families are getting to enjoy. For a couple hours.

- I hope to get back to blogging. And cleaning. Soon. Ish.

Tales of Woe

I wanted to make Swedish Peppaarkakor cookies this year. My dad makes them. And I love them. They are thin and crisp. Or they can be soft and chewy. It depends on how you roll them.

So, I went to the store to get two of the required ingredients. Sorghum and ground cardamon. The first store didn't have either. The second didn't have sorghum but after a quick phone call to my dad, found out I could substitute molasses. I hunted for ground cardamon. An employee even helped me. They had two bottles. One for $12.49 and the other for $13 something.

I only needed one teaspoon.

I didn't buy it.

No Swedish Peppaarkakor cookies for me this year.

But here's the recipe in case a store near you sells the ground cardamon for a more reasonable price.

½ lb butter
1 ½ C Sugar
1 beaten egg
2 T dark syrup (Sorgum)
3 C flour
2 t soda
1 t cinnamon
1 t Cloves
1 t ginger
1 t cardamon crushed

Cream butter and sugar. Add beaten egg and syrup. Sift flour with other dry ingredients. Add to first mixture and mix well. Keep over night in refrigerator. Roll out thin. Makes over 100 thin cookies. Bake 5 to 10 minutes at 375F.
Mrs Oscar Freeman
Mrs David Anderson

And extra instructions from my dad:

You need a pastry cloth and rolling pin cover for rolling out the peppaarkakor. You put flour on the cloth and rolling pin cover to keep the dough from sticking. Use your spatula for making Swedish pancakes to pick up the cut cookies from the pastry cloth. Use parchment paper on your cookie sheet to bake the cookies – then you don’t have to wash the cookie sheet each time you bake them. Any questions? Ask Mom

If you make them, let me know! I'll send you my address and you can mail some to me. You know, just to be sure they turned out right.

Shortest Day of the Year

Grocery Store. With all 3 boys.

I always get sympathy looks.

I was super mom and let them get the dreaded balloon.

At the end of the shopping trip.

They were really good.

Kolby requested egg nog.

He got it.

Later, the doctor.

Kolby.

The cold that won't go away.

Probably turned into an ear infection.

Or two.

Then ziti for dinner.

With Caesar salad.

Planning to wrap presents after the kids are in bed.

Christmas Teacher Gifts

When I say teacher, I mean Sunday School teacher and Mothers Day Out teacher. Just clarifying. Except I did give this to Bo's speech teacher but added a $5 Starbucks gift card.

Bags from Target, 10 for $4.50.
Homemade candy cane ornament. A kit from Hobby Lobby, 18 for $8.

A peek inside:
Candied Almonds

A closer look.

This was really easy and really yummy to do. We put together 17 bags. What's it going to be like when they start school?!

Christmas requires Singing!

Kolby was in his first program. He didn't love it. But, he didn't cry!
(middle, in the plaid shirt with the grimace on his face)

He got so bored, he laid down. I guess sitting on the stage is hard word.

He's supposed to be ringing those bells. He had entertained himself by taking them off.

Back to laying down, but at least he's ringing those bells! With little enthusiasm.

Sage requested to skip Mothers Day Out so that he could see Bo's program. I thought that was sweet.

Sage sang at all 3 services one Sunday.
(top row, far right)

This is the chorus of Here I Am to Worship. They sang Away in a Manger too.

He said he had a lot of fun! We were proud that he sang all the words this year and didn't look at the jumbo screen at all. It's the little things. Next year, we'll work on smiling!

Peek Into My Home~Christmas Style

I love having a mantle to decorate and hang stockings. Next year, we will have matching, monogrammed stockings. (I've said that almost every year now, but next year it will be true.)

Do you like our Charlie Brown tree? We've had it ever since we got married. 7 years. It just fits us. Maybe someday, we'll have a bigger, better tree. And that can be our second tree for all the homemade ornaments that currently adorn it.

In my mind, my house and Christmas decorations are a lot cuter that what is really pictured.

This is the only nativity we own. A gift from my mom. Before we had kids. This is how I found it when I went to photograph it.

This is after setting it up. Somehow, Mary is MIA. She's got to be around somewhere because I took her out of the box. And two fences are with her. Someday I'll have a less kid friendly nativity.

The top of our tv cabinet holds our Jesse tree and a Merry Christmas thing that was given to the boys from our neighbors in Connecticut.

Oh, Someday!

Someday, my house will be decorated perfectly.

Someday, I'll have things that I deem to make a perfect Christmas.

Someday.

In the end, it really won't matter. It's what I teach my kids about Christmas.

Not how pretty my tree was or wasn't.

Not how pretty my nativity was or wasn't.

Not how pretty my mantle and stocking were or weren't.

It's what I do with the true gift of Christmas.

I'll cherish Him.

And love Him.

And teach my kids to do the same.

And that's what really matters.

And I needed that reminder.

Not Pictured- Standing on the Table

Man Cold

Kolby is down and out with a cold. Well, he's down, he's not totally out.

I've been jumping at his every need.

Blanket?

Check.

Put the foot rest up on the chair for your feet that don't reach it?

Check.

Push the back of the chair back for you?

Check.

Position chair for optimal viewing of Handy Manny?

Check.

Water?

Check.

Wipe your nose?

Check.

Every couple of minutes, he says "Mama, me siii."

Translation: Mama, I'm sick.

But the whiny, pitifullness of the words.

I say "I know, baby, I know."

It's all I can do to not say "Suck it up, kid, mama's got the same cold!"

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You

Levi's Newest Trick

Sage and Kolby Sing! [Sage sings. Kolby rang some bells, technically.] No, mom there are no videos, just pictures.

Thoughts on Christmas

Teacher Gifts [I totally got my idea from another blog, so there will be a link! and a picture of my finished product]

Stay tuned!

Ovens, Cooking, And Could I get More Boring?

I''m slightly embarrassed to admit some things to you, the internet, but here goes.

* I haven't cleaned my oven in this house.
-We've lived here a year and a half.
-It has a self clean button.
-I can't figure out how to lock it to make the self clean function work.

* I've never actually cleaned an oven before.
-First apartment, my mom cleaned it before we moved out. In my defense, I was 8 months pregnant.
-I didn't ever clean the oven when we lived in my brother's basement.
-I half heartedly cleaned the oven when we moved from Connecticut. I'm pretty sure my mom had cleaned it a couple months earlier. Again, I was pregnant.
-Maybe I need my mom to come visit! Wait, she is! Next month. Do I have to have the pregnancy excuse for her to do it?

*I've made two of Pioneer Woman's recipes this week. And messed both of them up.
-I made the Best Lasagna Ever and forgot to layer the mozzarella.
-It gets better.
-I halved it and took it to a friend.
-And didn't realize it until I was eating it myself.
-I had made it 2 weeks ago too. Pride goes before destruction.
-Tonight, I made chili. (Cookbook only!) It calls for masa. And explains that it is in the Mexican food section of your grocery story.
-I bought masarepa and convinced myself that masa must be short for masarepa.
-I realized something was wrong when mine didn't look like the picture.
-I asked my Spanish minor of a husband. And he kindly pointed out that I bought corn meal and needed corn flour.
-Both things still tasted really good.

How To Clean A Bathroom With A One Year Old

Out.

In.

Open.

Close.

Hours

of

Fun.

Caught!

I decided to go to bed early and Drew needed to work on something. I was just about asleep and realized I forgot to plug in my phone. I considered just yelling down to him asking him to bring it up. I knew he would. He's just that kind of guy.

I'm so glad I didn't.

I rounded the corner and he gave me this guilty look and then I started laughing. And grabbed the camera.

I'm not ashamed to admit we own a snuggie. But there is a weird pride for not paying for it. We got it from our Sunday School White Elephant gift exchange and lets just say we totally upgraded from what we brought!

Because I'm a Big Fat Dork

I met Ree!

{Along with about 600 other women}

And she was nice.

And sweet.

And funny.

And everything you would expect.

Gracious.

Kind.

Mentioned her spanx.

And her ovaries.

And that Marlboro Man wears boxers.

She was provoked on that last one.

And she almost didn't answer because she started sweating just thinking about it.

I felt like a dork for going.

For handing her my blog address.

But it was fun.

And now I have an autographed cookbook.

She wrote. "Great meeting you!"

I'm pretty sure that means we're BFF's now.

And, I'll probably go to her Black Heels signing tour too.

And then be invited to her lodge.

Cousin Time

"Hey guys, wait up!"

Noah, Ethan, Kolby, Levi, Sage
{this is the best I could get}
waiting for the Christmas parade,
two days before Thanksgiving

if we had a backyard, this would definitely be in it
Kolby only fell off once. Jury was hung regarding whether or not he was pushed.

Beginning of a new love.
That's my brother who tirelessly pushed him, caught him and pushed him again and again.

Our number two son. Our number one daredevil. So far.

It only looks like he is going to slam into the van, but I was assured he wasn't. Or maybe I assured myself in my head. I wasn't home.

Example 2 of daredevilness.
Sage wouldn't come near this swing.

Oh the Weather Outside

Is Frightful (In Houson?!)

But the Fire Is So Delightful

And Since We've No Place to Go

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

We're Back!

We went to North Carolina last week to visit my brother and his family.

We had so much fun.

Skateboarding.

Tree swinging.

Trampoline jumping.

No ER visits.

We have no food.

Lots of laundry.

Kids begging for Christmas decorations to be put up.

And awesome memories.

Sage asked many times if we could move to Uncle Brad's house.

I'd say that means it was a pretty successful week.

Magical Horse Drawn Carriages

Levi doesn't really like me anymore.

If Drew is around, he dives for him.

If Drew gives him to me, he cries.

My only redeeming times of the day are bedtime and in the middle of the night when he wants to nurse.

That might be the exact reason that I am not trying all that hard to wean him totally.

I need those snuggles and loves from him.

Speaking of weaning. Oh, you weren't? Hm, you don't have to read.

Levi easily dropped the 11ish am nursing and will take a bottle wonderfully for that. Most days, he will also take one around 4. But sometimes, he throws this fit and squirms his body into The Position.

I haven't even tried bedtime, middle of the night or first thing in the morning.

I keep praying that he will sleep through the night with no work on my part. And by work, I mean listening to him cry. Do you think that could happen?

Maybe you shouldn't answer that. I might not be ready for honest answers.

Seriously, for my other two, around age one, they just started sleeping through the night. So, he has turned the magic age. But the pumpkin is still a pumpkin, it hasn't turned into a horse drawn carriage.

Maybe when he's two.

My Wallet is a Little Lighter

Kirsten is on her way.

What can I say? The people have spoken. And they spoke very convincingly.

Even Drew said I should order it.

In fact, he told me last night that I should order it. And he almost ordered it today but didn't want to impose on my convictions. Is he not the sweetest?

I love my husband.

Spew of Confessions

I get the American Girl Doll catalog.

I look at it.

They are retiring Kirsten.

I want it.

I did not order it.

I was very tempted.

How is my future daughter supposed to have a fulfilling childhood without a Swedish American Girl doll?

Drew pointed out that my future daughter will quite possibly not be coming from my womb. So, she won't look like me. Or have Swedish blood.

I still kind of want it.

I wouldn't display her. I would just know I had her.

That is pathetic. All of it. I disgust myself. How materialistic can I be?

You didn't fool me this time, American Girl.

I don't need Kirsten to be happy. Kirsten will not give me a fulfilling life.

Dear Sage,

I'm proud of you. I want you to always know that. I will always be proud of you. You are my son.

I'm proud of the way that you were always excited for soccer practice.

I'm proud of the way that you tried new things when Coach told you.

I'm proud of the way that you interacted with the other boys.

I'm proud that you were presented with opportunities to turn the other cheek.

I'm proud that you are learning to do that.

I'm proud that you have self-control.

Last night, is a night you will probably remember into adulthood. It is a night that I won't soon forget. My heart hurts for you, buddy. I want you to know that. I wish that it wouldn't have happened. I wish that the trophies would have gotten double checked. I wish that there were nine total instead of eight. I wish that your name didn't get left off the list. I wish I didn't have to hear you ask "Why is my trophy smaller?" and "Does this one say Sage on it, like the others?" I wish I didn't have to explain to you that mistakes happen.

My heart hurts when I think about how excited you were all day for that one evening. An evening that wasn't totally ruined, it just didn't turn out the way it should have. Man will fail us. God will not.

1 Corinthians 9:25 "Everyone who competes in the game goes into strict training. They do it to get a prize that will not last; but we do it to get a prize that will last forever."

Press on for the trophy that will last!

I love you to the moon and stars, back to earth, back up and back down again.

Love,

Mama

Levi ~ 12 Months

20 lbs. 15 oz {10 - 25%} you little peanut!

30 and 1/4 inches {75 - 90%} I mean string bean!

size 3 Pampers

size 4 Huggies overnights

size small Fuzzi Bunz {yes, still!}

size 12 month clothes, with some 18 month thrown in but rolled up

size 12 - 18 month shoe

has six teeth, 2 bottom and 4 top

drinks two (sometimes) 5 ounce bottles a day

nurse 3 or 4 times a day: 3 or 4am, upon awakening, before bed and sometimes late afternoon

squats from a standing position and stands back up again

loves to take things out of cupboards and drawers

and relocate items

favorite rooms in the house: bathroom and kitchen

says uh-oh

waves bye-bye or nigh-night

raises arms for "so big"

gives air kisses and real kisses, complete with smacking noise

loves his ugly doll

walks really well

crawls really fast

climbs up stairs

repeats sounds like bababa or papapa

knows how to annoy his brothers

throws incredible fits

makes truck and gun noises

growls

gives the sweetest, best hugs

cries every time I drop him off in the nursery and then is completely happy

naps once a day for about an hour and a half

makes me want more babies

Happy Birthday Levi!

I have so many words floating around in my head and no time to sit down and let them flow out. I doubt there would be much flowing, right now, more like lava erupting from a volcano. Not pretty or coherent.

I want to write more. I will write more about this sweet boy.

He loved the cupcake! As if you can't tell. He was the perfect one year old devouring it. I can't believe he's one.

Now, I'm going to go cry. Or get all three boys to the tennis court for Sage's first lesson. Probably the second option.

Funny Things I Saw at the Mall

Standing in line at Chick Fil-A, a teenage boy with long blue hair, holding a Hot Topic shopping bag, wearing a black shirt, black jeans and black underwear with holes in it. How do I know he had holes in his underwear? Because he was kind enough to wear his pants right below his butt cheeks and his shirt right above his black underwear.

Would it have been kind of me to point out that his glaring whiteness was showing to the whole world?

I didn't. Okay, it wasn't funny, haha, more funny eewww.

Then I saw a mom driking from her son's sippy cup. And she saw me watching her. I smiled knowingly. It was our little secret. And now, it's the internets little secret.

Happy Friday!

Finally A Halloween Picture

I try to be a good mom and plan ahead for things. I decided Sage and Kolby were going to be Super Sage and Super Kolby. We already had capes and masks so I searched for a super suit. I found blue long underwear that I thought would be perfect.

Sage had requested to be a knight but he wasn't upset when we talked about Super Sage and seemed genuinely excited.

Halloween Day: Sage and Kolby are excited to be Supers and to go trick or treating for the first time. Sage mentions that he would really love to be a knight.

20 minutes before we are to leave for our friends house: I whisper to Drew that I feel bad that Sage isn't a knight and that he has had such a good attitude about being Super Sage. We decide to switch it up. We have the knight stuff from a Christmas gift, so we find it and announce that Sage can be a knight.

Then we ask Kolby if he wants to be Super Kolby, a firefighter or an astronaut (all costumes we own). Astronaut. Figure out that the zipper is broken. Firefighter it is!

Levi was a frog. He didn't care and even kept the hood on the whole night.

The helmet doesn't fit Sage, he held it for the picture only and then ditched it. A lot of people commented how he was a Christian soldier because this was an armor of God set.


Oh, Levi. He rode in the stroller the whole time. He was so good.

The boys loved trick or treating. Sage was running between houses. Kolby walked a while and then would ride and then walk to the door and then ride to the next house.

We let them eat candy for breakfast Sunday morning and for dinner. I offered food both times but didn't get any takers. I am so tired of getting asked about when they can have candy.