Thursday, October 02, 2008

On Making Friends

I've lived in this new city for 4 months now. I no longer plug in the GPS every time I get in the van. I can get us around our daily lives without directions. I know where the good library is with the good story times. I know which grocery store I like the best and almost know where all the items on my list are.

We even have a routine of sorts. Monday is laundry day. Tuesday is MDO, grocery shopping and doctor appointments. Wednesday is either MOPS, stay home or do something fun with the boys. Thursday is CBS. Friday mornings are swimming lessons (for 2 more weeks).

Lately, I have been squeezing in time at the gym too. Don't you wish you could see this almost 8 month pregnant lady sweating on the elliptical machine?! The boys love the child center and I love being able to workout and shower knowing the boys are safe and having fun. There are lots of things I love about our gym but that is not the point.

On Tuesday, I decided the MDO days are a little lonely for me. Sure, I can get through the grocery store faster and I usually make sure I get Chick-fil-A for lunch. But it is a quiet day. I don't have anyone to talk to or answer questions. And I know that is kind of the point of the day but it gets lonely. I have other times during the week that I am away from the boys and get a break, the gym, MOPS and CBS. I am away but not really. At those places, we are all getting something good for us.
I am not ready to give up MDO because I know the boys enjoy it and I know I will enjoy the time after the baby is born too, for all those doctor appointments and just extra cuddles with my new little guy and maybe some groceries will get picked up too.

But, I haven't made many friends. Sure, I have friends at the various places that we go. Or rather people that I talk to regularly. I do have one friend in the neighborhood but her 4 year old is in all day pre-school and she works from home, so we don't spend a ton of time together. And, I don't expect to spend a ton of time with friends in this stage of life, moms are busy with little ones at home, I get that.

I really want a good group of girlfriends. I crave that. I fill it with other things like various group activities and our Sunday School class has a girls night out that I go to, but it just isn't the same. I crave the intimacies of a group of girls, I crave being able to call someone and ask them to meet me and my crazies for lunch somewhere or just getting together to let the kids play and drink a coffee or a Dr. Pepper. I crave having girlfriends that know me, that get me, that enjoy being around me for just me, not because we are in the same group activity.

I have filled a void and feel less lonely than when we first moved here, but life still doesn't look the way I had imagined it.

And that isn't to say that I am not content. I am content. I love my life. I can't say I love living in Houston because it has been and continues to be a big adjustment. It just takes time.



  1. You are so right; it does take time. If it makes you feel any better, you are totally taking all the steps to eventually get there by getting out there and meeting women at activities and such. And I bet your WAHM friend might be up for a kid-free lunch on a MDO day. :)

  2. Time that seems like it is taking forever and a day. I feel like that was me at several different points in my life and know that every time God came through with the perfect friend for me in every situation. Wish I could join you for a Dr. Pepper and it might be a competetion on who has the craziers!

  3. i know how that feels and am in a season like that as well. hang in there!

  4. I think you just described my life, minus the Dr. Pepper, Chick-Fil-A or anyone to watch my kids so I can have a break. :) This is an incredibly lonely season for me as well. I will be praying for you to make some close friends--I think your odds are better than mine. :) On a side note that might make you one of my local friends was here for house group and she saw your Christmas picture from last year on my fridge. She asked who you were and I told her you were a friend of mine. She went on and on about how beautiful you are and how you should be a model. :) And how adorable your kids are.

    Love you!

  5. Yeah...time.

    When we moved to Denver, it took me about two years to find a great group of girlfriends, through MOPS. It was the second group I tried. The first group didn't click with me in any way. I was really discouraged.

    I tried again (after swearing I'd never go to another MOPS meeting), at a different church. It was night and day.

  6. I remember moving to CT from Florida and feeling the same way, Kristin. And sometimes it was so hard to sit back and trust that I'd make intimate friends like I'd had at earlier times in life. It took a while, maybe because it seems like people are so busy nowadays and have up so many walls and filters. But it will happen. :) If it's any comfort, I think of you often, and I keep up with you and your family across the miles.

    <3 (that's a heart)

  7. Our crazies love your crazies. I am so glad we are friends.


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