Frustration

I didn't think I would write another post about this so soon, but it is on my mind and it is making me lose my mind.

Potty Training.

I hate. it. It is so far, the hardest thing I have done/gone through as a parent.

Yesterday, not so good in the whole potty training realm. He pooped in his pull up during nap time and the pull up leaked pee on my bed, on the quilt that Drew's grandma made, the quilt that I can't put in the dryer.

He holds his poop in. He squeezes his cheeks together and walks around on tip toes.

He has accidents all. the. time. He doesn't care if he pees in his underwear.

I have prayed. This morning, I gave it all to God. But, the first accident he had this morning, I felt the frustration flare up. I am half tempted to go back to diapers. Let him pee and poop in his pants for as long as he stinkin wants. I am ready to throw in the towel.

I know he can do it. This morning as I was getting up to go running, he was in the bathroom and had just finished peeing by himself! No one told him to go to the bathroom, he just went. I don't get it. I am at a loss. His pull ups from nap time and overnight have been dry (except yesterday and he didn't want to go pee before he took his nap because he had to poop and he coudn't pee without pooping) for a week.

Is he rebelling? Is he controlling me? Has he found something to hold over me? Or can he really not hold his pee? Is he too young? Am I a wimp?

I am open to advice, not criticism. I am open to help, to encouragement. If you want to refute my methods, keep your mouth shut, I don't need that right now. If you want to offer encouragement, a funny story, or something that might be helpful, please write a comment. I write that I am not open to criticism because I am already down about this subject and don't need to be brought lower. My thoughts tell me enough that I don't do it right, that I am failing, I dont' need to hear it from the internet.

What's In A Name?

My parents named me Kristy Marie. I was named after my Aunt Marie Kristine. They wanted to call me Kristy so they named me Kristy because they always said, “we’ll name them what we are going to call them.” (Never mind that my older brother is named Bradley and he was called Brad, unless he was in trouble)

I always thought Kristy was such a little girl’s name. I thought I forever sounded like I was a six-year old girl with braids. What if I wanted a career? And my name is Kristy. It doesn’t exactly command respect.

Did you know that when you get married, you could change your name to anything you print and then sign? I had thought about it a little bit and didn’t think of it again until the day Drew and I went to get our marriage license.

As we stood there, making the most important decision of our life by obtaining a marriage certificate, I made another decision. I dropped my middle name, Marie, and used my maiden name as my middle name and changed my first name from Kristy to Kristin.

At first it didn’t matter because I lived in the same city and everyone knew me as Kristy so it kind of seemed like a joke, something my brothers made fun of me for, something that didn’t really mean anything.

Then we moved. I could introduce myself as Kristin. Except, I wasn’t Kristin. I tried to become Kristin and there are still people who know me as Kristin, but it always sounds funny to me when they call my name, leave a message or introduce me to someone else.

And, not too long ago, I decided that I should have thought about the spelling more. K R I S T Y. I should have spelled it K R I S T Y N. Then, it makes sense as to why Kristy is spelled with a y.

Five years after changing my name, I kind of regret it. I wish I kept my name as just Kristy or maybe I wish I had spelled it differently. But, I probably would have regretted if I hadn’t changed my name, I wouldn’t have known what it was like to be called Kristin and I wouldn’t have known that it would never feel or sound right.

I don’t regret dropping my middle name and using my maiden name, I love my maiden name. I love it so much, Kolby’s middle name is my maiden name and consequently, that is how we got his nickname, Bo. And he is such a Bo. And such a Kolby.

I love my kid’s names. I hope they don’t want to change them!

On Potty Training

Sage has been potty training since we got back from MN. Literally, the day after we got home, I announced "No more pull-ups." And he went with it. The first 2 days were horrible. Accidents all. the. time. The third day dawned and I thought if it doesn't get better, he is going back to pull ups.

And miracle of miracles, no accidents!

The next day, we had planned to drive into Boston and tour Fenway and Harvard. I was nervous about Sage and public bathrooms and accidents. I packed 4 pair of clean clothes and ended up using one of the pair of shorts for Kolby because I forgot to change his diaper! Oops. I felt like we were on our way. The sticker chart was working, everything was great. I bragged to my sister how good he was doing.

Then I don't know what happened. Different accidents started. The kind where he starts going in his pants and then stops and finishes in the toilet. It was exasperating but I played it cool, no big deal. And then I played it disappointing. The accidents didn't let up. They got worse.

You might have read the letter. I was fed up. I called in reinforcements and called grandma. She said, it sounds like he has found something to be rebellious and control you. It sounds like you need to spank. She said the S word!

I decided to threaten Sage with the S word. I told him that accidents are not tolerated in our house. If he is going to choose to pee on the couch or floor instead of in the potty, he will have to get a spanking because he is disobeying.

He has had one accident since and it seemed to truly be an accident.

We are still working the sticker chart and I don't even want to think about how much money we have spent on cars and books to get to this point. The guitar is still looming over his head. I still have to tell him to go to the bathroom. Or maybe I am not brave enough to find out what happens if I don't! I hope when he is sixteen I am not calling him on his cell at school telling him to go to the bathroom.

Don't get me started on going number two. Battle. He holds it. He walks around on tip toes with his cheeks squeezed together. We talk about how everyone poops. He names everyone he knows. Yep, our neighbors, mailman, dogs, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Why does he continue to look amazed everytime we answer, "Yes, grandma poops."

Yesterday, as we drove home he asked "Someday, when me get bigger, me not poop anymore?" No, buddy, you will always poop.

Third Times a Charm

Today is Drew's birthday. His 27th! Happy birthday, love you!

I wanted to make a dessert. My first choice, cupcakes. After lunch, I mix the ingredients together and fill the tins. I stick them in the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes and start to wash my dishes. About 7 minutes in, it starts to smell like something is burning. But, it can't be the cupcakes, they are supposed to bake for 12 - 15 minutes and it has only been 7. I peer inside the oven looking for whatever is burning on the oven ground.

After 10 minutes, I take the cupcakes out and they are smoking. They are most definitely what was burning. I had the rack on the bottom, that is all I can figure out.

And then I threw away 23 cupcakes.

So, I finish the dishes, get the boys tucked in for their naps and decide chocolate chip cookies are the way to my mans heart. I mix all the ingredients together. While adding the Crisco, I think, weird, it seems to smell funny and the 2 Crisco sticks I used look white and fresh and this jar that I never purchased but it must have been purchased by the people who lived here this summer so how old can it be looks yellowy and odd. I thought it was my garbage that was smelling and surely this won't be a problem. I dump it in, mix everything together, add the chocolate chips and take a big old bite of cookie dough. It tastes like stale nuts.

And then I threw away 4 or 5 dozen cookies worth of dough.

And I am not going to find out if the third time is a charm because I refuse to mess up more yummy desserts that my mouth has already been watering to eat.

Another Kolby Post

Kolby had a doctor appointment yesterday with his orthopedic doctor.

First, he had x-rays of his feet which I didn't know he was going to have. I had brought Sage with me thinking it was going to be an in and out type of appointment. As we walk into the x-ray room, Sage and Kolby both look around nervously. I had already prepped Sage that he wouldn't be able to stand next to mom and Kolby while they took pictures of Kolby's feet. As we walked in, I showed him where he would stand behind the window with the nurse. What I didn't prepare him or myself for was Kolby's fear. As soon as I set him down on the table, he started crying and wriggling. I could see Sage wringing his shirt behind me getting more and more nervous as Kolby continued to scream. I said "Sage, they aren't hurting Kolby, he is just scared." I turned back to Kolby and heard a wail behind me. The nurse helped with Sage and got him calmed down after I promised chocolate milk when this is all over. Kolby continued to scream and wriggle but the x-rays came out so we didn't have to redo anything.

First fiasco, over! Then, we waited in the examination room for probably 20 minutes. I read Tarzan about death and mean people to Sage who had many questions about why that ape is so sad and sleeping. Seriously, can Disney be any less kid friendly?

The PA walks in who is not our normal doctor. It ends up, he was in emergency surgery for many hours. We looked at his x-rays and his bones are all lining up perfectly, exactly how they are supposed to! Praise God! He said a couple of times, this is so different from 10 - 12 years ago. The correction is great and wonderful.

Our physical therapist has been wanting to get Kolby inserts for his shoes to help with his very flat foot. The PA suggested that is not something we want to do right now, as we don't want any hint of Kolby's foot to turn back in. I also asked about the type of shoe Kolby should be wearing right now and was told a shoe with a flat lace. Meaning that when you hold a pen in the middle on the bottom of the shoe all sides should be equal. We went to Stride Right today and got him New Balance size 6, extra wide running shoes. He had Converse size 4. Funny, they didn't seem small...

So, it was a good visit, he also got bigger shoes and a bigger bar. And our next visit is March 11, 2008. He'll be two. Isn't that crazy?

A Rockin Giveaway

I know, I know. I wasn't going to do anymore contests. I don't win and they are boring for you, my dear readers. But! This one is so cute! So, here it is. The contest. And the Rockin Site.

Dear Sage,

You peed on the couch today.

This is something that I don't want to forget. Not because it was funny or even brings a small smile to my mouth, just because someday, when you are doing something that I can't even think what it might be. I want to be able to respond with, you peed on the couch.

I was getting ready for the day in the bathroom and yelled at you to remember to go potty if you needed to. When I came out to the living room, you were laying on the couch and looked up at me with your half sad look and said "Me wet." That was the understatement of the year. You were soaked and laying in your own pee. Two days ago, you didn't have one accident all day, not even a whoops I started and now I am running to the bathroom accident. Same pair of underwear all day long. I was ready to buy you that guitar. Yesterday, you peed your pants twice. I wasn't sure of the circumstances and gave you the benefit of the doubt that you couldn't get your pants down by yourself. The first time, I was in the basement switching the laundry, the second, I was getting Kolby ready for bed. I should have known better the second time since the pee was right by the bookcase and there was no attempt at your pants or underwear being pulled down. But today, you were laying in your own urine, on the couch.

I immediately called my mom, your grandma, and she told me to 1) calm down 2) spank your bottom. I think you are lucky she answered her phone because I don't know what would have happened if she didn't answer but we probably wouldn't have had a fun morning at the park and instead we would have all been miserable and mad at each other at home.

I will always love you, Sage, even when you pee on my couch. Someday, I expect a replacement.

Love,

Mamma

Kolby's New Trick

Every Child is Different

I remember "baby-proofing" for Sage. We didn't do much, just kind of as needed, things that would really hurt him, we removed. When he opened cupboards or drawers he wasn't supposed to, we slapped his hand and told him no. I watched him all the time, I was always right there or close by.

Kolby's feelings get hurt when we tell him no in a firm voice. But, look what he does that Sage never did...


See the heater that runs along the baseboard, he steps on that, hoists himself on to the end table and then stands there. The time before when Drew caught him up there, he was actually standing on the windowsill waving hi.

We made it!

We are so glad to be HOME! It is wonderful to have our stuff, our space and not be in the car! I finished book 3 of Harry Potter and bought 4, 5, and 6 today. I know, why am I blogging? I should be reading!

Sage is potty training, officially. He has had three accidents today. But, he catches himself and then finishes in the potty so I am hoping he gets better at this. Someone told me 3 days. I am counting on that 3 days. Hopefully, in 3 days, we will be out buying him a guitar! That is his promised toy, it just doesn't seem to be that important to him.

I need to unpack the bathroom. Not only have we unpacked but reorganized since we had people living here all summer and now we have to put our stuff back where it belongs. Drew took the boys to the park, hopefully, I get done before they get back so they don't start dumping shampoo all over the bathroom.

Journey

Our second day of our three-day journey has ended. The first day, we drove 490 miles and sat in traffic through Chicago for 2 and ½ hours. The boys did incredibly well and we all slept until 8 am this morning. An 8:00 wake up for my children is highly unlikely. Yesterday, we drove 430 miles. Today we are scheduled to drive miles but will be going around New York City so we will see how many hours that translates to.

Our schedule is to drive about 4 hours, then stop for lunch for about an hour, and then drive the remaining time to our destination. So far, it has worked great. Kolby has been taking morning and afternoon naps and Sage slept for 2 hours yesterday.

I started the Harry Potter series and I am already sad to know that this series will end. Today is day three of our journey, which means I start book 3 of the Harry Potter series. Obviously, I do little if any driving and the kids are great!

Hi! It's been awhile since we chatted. I know you didn't miss our little chats and I am not sure that I did either. I am trying to figure that out. We went to camp and stayed the whole week (I was planning on coming back in the middle of the week and leaving Sage there) and then Drew had the computer and then I just haven't had much to say.

Our time at my in-laws is coming to an end. We leave on Sunday to start our drive back to CT. There will be so many adjustments again. No more mini-van for us, back to our small Saturn. No more Nana and Papa to listen for the boys so we can go out for an hour after they are in bed. No more Nana to clean up dinner while I bathe and get the boys to bed. No more magical food appearing in the cupboards and milk replenishing itself in the fridge. No more Nana to take Sage at just the moment that I think I might strangle him (I kid). No more dustbuster to clean up the crumbs under the high chair. No more dishwasher that works. And the saddest of all, no more Target discount.

Drew will be back on a school schedule, things never done, things always hanging over his head, night lectures, night classes. I will be babysitting again, at least two mornings a week.

There are things I am looking forward to, things like my coffee maker, my own bathroom, my own apartment, my own space. It will be nice to back in out city, with our parks, our cement backyard, our pizza places, there are definitely things I am looking forward to doing and seeing again!

I am sure you heard...

about this.

Drew and I were on a dinner boat cruise with his company. We were not traveling along 35 or were we anywhere near it.

The captain of our ship received a call from his wife and then told us "35W bridge just collapsed." At first, I thought he was joking. I kept staring at him but his expression never changed. My first thought was "I should call my mom." I went down below to grab my purse and cell phone. There were two voice messages already, I ignored them and called my mom. She hadn't heard the news yet. I listened to my sister's voice wobble as she checked up on us. And then my fried, Deb who is in Seattle. I received more calls from friends and family through out the evening and an email this morning.

Last night, as I kissed my boys, my prayer of thanks for bringing our family back together safely brought tears to my eyes.

I pray for the families who didn't get back together safely last night, prayers that they will find comfort and peace.

The BIG Announcement!!

Kolby took two steps yesterday!

We went to a puppet show, which we missed but there was a playground and Drew was making Kolby stand on his own and then just like that, one, two and grab Drew's hands.

My heart is overflowing with gratefulness to God. It is hard to express, how proud this Mama is. His next appointment to check his feet is Sept. 12 so we have more than a month for his walking to develop. At his last appointment, the doctor said that probably once he is walking on his own, he will be done wearing the Dennis Browne bar at night. My heart rejoices and my eyes fill with tears. We will definitely be having a celebration when Kolby is done wearing that bar!

Down but not Out

So, Tuesday night, I woke up with the flu, in the middle of the night. I had a stomach ache when I went to bed and hoped it would be better in the morning. No such luck.

I felt awful all day. I think Sage watched about 8 hours of tv. Both boys were generally good and for that I was grateful. Sage kept saying "Me no want you be sick anymore." And then his true confession for why: "Me want to go outside."

Today, we are expending some of Sage's energy. It is really humid and he is sweating a lot but he wants to play outside. He has sweat running down his cheek and the tip of his nose!

Too cute and funny not to post

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, "Name seven advantages of Mothers Milk," worth 70 points or none at all.

One student who had also partied the night before, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

He wrote:
1.) It is perfect formula for the child.
2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3.) It is always the right temperature.
4.) It is inexpensive.
5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6.) It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote...

7.) It comes in such cute containers.

He got an A!

A Birthday Party in Pictures

Sammy blows bubbles while Sage pops them.

Sage and Sammy were the only two to run through the sprinkler. Sage insisted his shirt should be off and Sammy managed to get hers soaked.


Squirt guns were a big hit. Sammy and I are ganging up on the injured Britta (she fell off her horse, for the full story go here)

Sage is totally breaking the rules by squirting someone on the deck, my guess is his dad, which makes it a little okay!

Table full of gifts.

His favorite present from Nana and Papa, a drum set. I know his face shows no expression, but I kid you not, this is how his face looked after opening every. single. present. Maybe it is good, he won't have to fake a great reaction when he gets something he hates!

Blowing really hard! Tate, Britta and Chase making sure he does it right! The wind ended up blowing out the candle for us. He tried this one time and then told Drew he wanted him to do it. Drew refused and he just kept looking at us like, come on, already blow out the candle for me! Then, the right wind came.

Birthday Boy.

Krista and Kolby

Chase enjoying his cupcake.

He woke up, came into our room and said, "Now, me play mine drums!" The mean parents we are, we made him wait until the next day to play his favorite gift. In our defense, it was 9:30 by the time the last guests left!

He even shared with his brother!

My Sister Started a Blog

And with 4 kids, she has some good stories and quotes! Go check it out!

Tomorrow is Sage's third birthday. We're throwing a party for our family. It is our first official birthday party for Sage. I feel old saying that I have a three year old.

Then on Sunday, we are getting a family picture taken, by Drew's cousin, Molly. I am thinking white shirts and khaki shorts for the boys and a white dress for me. And I just remembered today that the pictures are Sunday, so I pray I can find something today! I am just waiting for Kolby to wake up so we can get shopping!

My Child is Branded

I don't know how it happened. Well, maybe I do. I might have let him watch tv and play with toys. I will even admit to encouraging Thomas! And here is my reasoning. It's a train. He likes trains. And he likes Thomas but guess what, he doesn't love it. He doesn't seem to love anything in particular. He will watch Cars over and over and we are throwing him a Cars themed party, but he doesn't see stuff and have to have it. He recognizes it. Like McDonalds and Starbucks. He calls McD's, cheeseburger, because that is his favorite thing to eat there. He also recognizes Target. Someone once told me that it is a form of reading.

While driving, he talks constantly. He tells me he needs things like a truck, a race car and his newest obsession, convertibles and RV's. I point out all the Jeep Wranglers and the Jeep Unlimiteds. Because someday, I will have one. Someday. My hair might be gray or gray under the blonde highlights and my underwear might be called granny, but I will have one. Way off track here.

But, I do have lines that I won't cross. I will not ever buy him or my other children character clothes. I hate, despise them. Then, the other day, I was at Target and saw some Car sandals, and thought about how much joy he would get when wearing them. I totally almost bought them for him. And then I remembered it would be cute for a day and then I would be annoyed. And, he has worn some character pajamas, they were hand me downs and he didn't have a clue who Buzz Lihtyear was, at the time.

I like that Sage is constant in liking cars and anything musical. He plays air guitar and drums all. the. time. He plays with matchbox cars endlessly. I don't think that branding my child could be avoided because of the world we live. But, I do want to teach him the importance of contentment and the difference between need and want. But really the importance of contentment. It is a lesson that I can learn and relearn every single day.

Car Accidents and Chiropractors

On July 4th, at the fireworks celebration, there was a tent set up with a sign that said "Free Massage". It turned out to be a chiropractor's office and they were doing free evaluations. I have been having low back pain for a while so I sat down and he could feel that my lower back was definitely out. He gave me a coupon for my first visit free, including x-rays. Yesterday, I went and did the first exam and got x-rays and scheduled my follow up for today. Today, when I went, I had to take the boys, which he said would be totally fine. (They were great.) He showed me the x-rays and showed me that my spine isn't straight but totally leans to the left. Then he showed me the x-ray of my neck. A normal neck is supposed to have a 35 to 40 degree curve. Mine is at negative 13. Not good. And, totally explains all the headaches that I have been having. So, there is some serious work to be done to straighten out my spine and get my neck to curve the right way again. I will be going three times a week for six weeks. That is a long time! He also popped my lower and upper back in to place and started my neck. I can't say that I feel better today. I have a really bad headache and just feel achy. But, there are other things to blame these things on, so I don't know what is caused by what.

He also said that my neck could only have gotten so out of what from a car accident and whiplash. We were in what I thought was a minor accident which I can't even remember when it was. I know we were wearing jackets. And it was cold and we were on our way home from having lunch at a friends house after church and there was a baptism at church that morning. And I am thinking that if I have whiplash, maybe the boys do too? And what about Drew? We were all in the car. And then my next thought is this. The boys were in the car, in their car seats, which we didn't replace. If I could get whiplash and not know it, can the car seats be damaged and we can't tell? Should we replace them? Is there someone, somewhere that can check them?

And I am afraid to ask him about the sling. My spine pulls to the left, the side that I wear Kolby. And it has become a necessity in my life.

And he says he can help with Kolby's consistent ear infections. So many decisions!