Frustration

I didn't think I would write another post about this so soon, but it is on my mind and it is making me lose my mind.

Potty Training.

I hate. it. It is so far, the hardest thing I have done/gone through as a parent.

Yesterday, not so good in the whole potty training realm. He pooped in his pull up during nap time and the pull up leaked pee on my bed, on the quilt that Drew's grandma made, the quilt that I can't put in the dryer.

He holds his poop in. He squeezes his cheeks together and walks around on tip toes.

He has accidents all. the. time. He doesn't care if he pees in his underwear.

I have prayed. This morning, I gave it all to God. But, the first accident he had this morning, I felt the frustration flare up. I am half tempted to go back to diapers. Let him pee and poop in his pants for as long as he stinkin wants. I am ready to throw in the towel.

I know he can do it. This morning as I was getting up to go running, he was in the bathroom and had just finished peeing by himself! No one told him to go to the bathroom, he just went. I don't get it. I am at a loss. His pull ups from nap time and overnight have been dry (except yesterday and he didn't want to go pee before he took his nap because he had to poop and he coudn't pee without pooping) for a week.

Is he rebelling? Is he controlling me? Has he found something to hold over me? Or can he really not hold his pee? Is he too young? Am I a wimp?

I am open to advice, not criticism. I am open to help, to encouragement. If you want to refute my methods, keep your mouth shut, I don't need that right now. If you want to offer encouragement, a funny story, or something that might be helpful, please write a comment. I write that I am not open to criticism because I am already down about this subject and don't need to be brought lower. My thoughts tell me enough that I don't do it right, that I am failing, I dont' need to hear it from the internet.