Monday, July 28, 2008
Home is Where the Heart is
(Our family in front of our old house in our old city, right before we moved)
That saying makes sense to me until I move. Then it is so confusing to me. I want to go home but can't figure out where home would be. And if I don't know where home is, where is my heart? And when I think about someplace being my home, what makes it my home?
Familiar people, landmarks, restaurants, church.
We've lived here 6 weeks now so I see familiar landmarks. The hospital that is a mile from our house with the "ugly hat" on it, the mall (grin), grocery stores, buildings are always in the same spot so they quickly become familiar.
There are some familiar people that I see around church and in our neighborhood. But I have realized that I am probably not familiar to them. I am hyper aware of people around me because I am constantly looking at people and wondering if they would be my friend or what they are like, stories about these people go through my mind all day.
We have made ourselves familiar with some restaurants. Chick-fil-A and Sams Deli being our family favorites.
Our church is becoming more familiar. Although, we aren't entirely positive it is the church for us. There isn't anything wrong with it, it's just big.
The familiar aspects are here, mostly, but it still doesn't feel like home. What will make it feel like home?
And that, is the hardest part. It just takes time to make this feel like home and make me want to make my home and heart here.
I can't will time to move faster so I feel at home and know where my heart is. I can't make time slow down so I will enjoy every new day that I live here.
Some days feel good, it starts to feel like home. And some days are hard and leave me wondering where home is and what it would look like in a different city. Admittedly, I have more hard days than good days lately but in time, that will change. I will have more good days when I know this is home and I will embrace life here, the lizards, the cockroaches, the many spiders and bugs that I kill on a daily basis, the incredibly beautiful days, the hot weather, the driving everywhere, not having family close, finding a babysitter for every little thing, and the variety and plethora of shopping.
It isn't easy moving to a new city, away from family and friends but there are rewards too. I'm just not sure I can pinpoint those quite yet.