First, one word or two? Hand-washing. Hand washing. Hmm.
I hate hand washing. I mean, strongly dislike, we don’t use the word hate in our house. (A whole different post.)
But I do it.
About 8 million times a day. Not kidding. Wake up, go to the bathroom, wash my hands. Help Sage into underwear, change Kolby’s diaper, wash hands. Empty bathroom garbage, wash hands. Make breakfast, wash hands. Maybe twice while I am making breakfast. Dress kids, shower, wash dishes, wash hands. Change Kolby’s diaper again. Wash hands. Play with the kids or “work” on the computer, wash hands. Fix snack. Wash hands.
Do you see the pattern? It just goes on and on. And that isn’t counting the times that I rinse my fingers off as I prepare food.
My fingers have had it. Seriously. For the second time this fall, my thumb and pointer finger just start protesting by peeling all layers of skin off. I am pretty sure all seven layers of my fingertip is coming off.
It is not pretty. Nor does it feel good.
So now after I wash my hands all the time, I am trying to put lotion on too. So, now I am washing hands and putting on lotion. Between those two things, I barely have time to change diapers and fix meals!
Ah, the joys of being a stay at home mom.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Great Expectations
Everyone has them for themselves. What they should get done in a day. How much money they should make. How big their house is. What kind of car they drive. How cute their kids will be dressed.
That’s mine. How cute my kids will be dressed. Specifically my girls. (Which I don’t have, yet) I expect that my little girl will wear a super cute outfit everyday. With matching hair bow. And socks. And shoes.
I look at my boys who each own one pair of shoes that fit them, running shoes to be exact. Okay, so Sage has flip flops and crocs that fit too.
And I can’t imagine my little girl only having one pair of shoes. I mean, she will need a cute pair of practical shoes for everyday, which will be hard to choose just one and at least one pair of dressy shoes. That is just the essentials for a little girl, and then you look at all the cute shoes that are just cute and therefore, she needs them.
And then I look at my boys’ hair. I haven’t cut it since August. And I don’t plan on it. For two reasons, I am lazy and cheap and I like it a little longer, okay that was three. I also, don’t brush or comb it everyday. That is evidenced by one day when I decided to gasp! brush Sage’s hair before we left the house and he said “Mom, we don’t brush my hair in the morning, silly!” About the only time, I brush their hair is right after a bath. I am not going to get into how often or not I bathe my boys!
And I remember my expectation of the matching hair bow everyday. Which would require it to be put into her hair everyday, and her hair to be brushed everyday. Okay, so I plan on at least brushing it everyday, maybe. I do remember going through a period of time when I would not allow my mom to brush my hair, except for church, once a week.
So, I have to ask myself, will I be able to live up to my expectation when or if I have a little girl? Part of my head, says yes. But, reality crowds in and I think she might be lucky if she isn’t wearing blue!
That’s mine. How cute my kids will be dressed. Specifically my girls. (Which I don’t have, yet) I expect that my little girl will wear a super cute outfit everyday. With matching hair bow. And socks. And shoes.
I look at my boys who each own one pair of shoes that fit them, running shoes to be exact. Okay, so Sage has flip flops and crocs that fit too.
And I can’t imagine my little girl only having one pair of shoes. I mean, she will need a cute pair of practical shoes for everyday, which will be hard to choose just one and at least one pair of dressy shoes. That is just the essentials for a little girl, and then you look at all the cute shoes that are just cute and therefore, she needs them.
And then I look at my boys’ hair. I haven’t cut it since August. And I don’t plan on it. For two reasons, I am lazy and cheap and I like it a little longer, okay that was three. I also, don’t brush or comb it everyday. That is evidenced by one day when I decided to gasp! brush Sage’s hair before we left the house and he said “Mom, we don’t brush my hair in the morning, silly!” About the only time, I brush their hair is right after a bath. I am not going to get into how often or not I bathe my boys!
And I remember my expectation of the matching hair bow everyday. Which would require it to be put into her hair everyday, and her hair to be brushed everyday. Okay, so I plan on at least brushing it everyday, maybe. I do remember going through a period of time when I would not allow my mom to brush my hair, except for church, once a week.
So, I have to ask myself, will I be able to live up to my expectation when or if I have a little girl? Part of my head, says yes. But, reality crowds in and I think she might be lucky if she isn’t wearing blue!
Monday, October 29, 2007
A Contest
I know, you guys are rolling your eyes, thinking, she is doing it again, entering another contest.
But this time, it is YOU who gets to enter the contest! Right here! On my blog!
I know! Exciting!
Guess what it is for?!
$20 Target gift card! You can get something for yourself, make-up or a shirt or shoes or candy or whatever your heart desires!
Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer is hosting The Fall, Y'all Giveaway and I have decided to play along.
All you have to do is leave me a comment. That's it. Am I paying for readers here? Maybe. I will draw the lucky winner, Friday morning. Please make sure you leave me an email address that you check regularly. Oh, and I will only be mailing to an address in the United States.
If you want, click on the The Fall, Y'all Giveaway and enter some more contests!
But this time, it is YOU who gets to enter the contest! Right here! On my blog!
I know! Exciting!
Guess what it is for?!
$20 Target gift card! You can get something for yourself, make-up or a shirt or shoes or candy or whatever your heart desires!
Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer is hosting The Fall, Y'all Giveaway and I have decided to play along.
All you have to do is leave me a comment. That's it. Am I paying for readers here? Maybe. I will draw the lucky winner, Friday morning. Please make sure you leave me an email address that you check regularly. Oh, and I will only be mailing to an address in the United States.
If you want, click on the The Fall, Y'all Giveaway and enter some more contests!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Brothers
Ring around the Rosy.
Steamroller.
Building towers.
Knocking towers down.
Jumping on the couch or bed (until they get caught).
Laughing.
Tickling.
Rough housing.
Running.
Spinning.
Looking at books.
Matchbox cars.
Going down the slide.
Playing together.
Steamroller.
Building towers.
Knocking towers down.
Jumping on the couch or bed (until they get caught).
Laughing.
Tickling.
Rough housing.
Running.
Spinning.
Looking at books.
Matchbox cars.
Going down the slide.
Playing together.
I Made A Mistake
I bought Halloween candy 2 weeks early.
I bought bite size.
I opened it the same day I bought it.
I told myself not to count the wrappers because they hardly count, they're bite size.
I bought bite size.
I opened it the same day I bought it.
I told myself not to count the wrappers because they hardly count, they're bite size.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Not the Point
I have been trying to live a greener lifestyle. Trying is the key word. I bought Tide because we used it all summer at my in-laws and the smell oh the smell. I grew up on it and so did Drew and it smells “clean”, that is just what Proctor and Gamble wants to hear, darn them. I know clean doesn’t have a smell, yada, yada.
Anyway, one of the things that I have been doing is taking bags with me to the grocery store and sometimes Target, but I do use those to line our bathroom garbage with so sometimes, I need them because I am too cheap to buy the little garbage bags.
One day, I had to return something to the mall and stuck it in my Trader Joe’s cloth bag and off we went. As I purchased Sage’s jeans and shirts for fall, I said, no thanks to the bag, I brought my own. At GAP, the sales lady said, “Oh, it is store policy to give you a bag, so they know you didn’t steal it.”
Right away, I thought of several holes in her theory. Like, ummmm a receipt. Do I need to go on?
But, it was my last store, the boys were anxious to be leaving the mall, as was I, and I took the bag that she folded around the jeans and stuffed them both in my own bag.
I used the GAP bag to line my bathroom garbage.
Anyway, one of the things that I have been doing is taking bags with me to the grocery store and sometimes Target, but I do use those to line our bathroom garbage with so sometimes, I need them because I am too cheap to buy the little garbage bags.
One day, I had to return something to the mall and stuck it in my Trader Joe’s cloth bag and off we went. As I purchased Sage’s jeans and shirts for fall, I said, no thanks to the bag, I brought my own. At GAP, the sales lady said, “Oh, it is store policy to give you a bag, so they know you didn’t steal it.”
Right away, I thought of several holes in her theory. Like, ummmm a receipt. Do I need to go on?
But, it was my last store, the boys were anxious to be leaving the mall, as was I, and I took the bag that she folded around the jeans and stuffed them both in my own bag.
I used the GAP bag to line my bathroom garbage.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Parks and Coffins
We walked to the park today. The one that is next door to the parking lot and garage of a funeral home. I haven't seen much activity there before, one funeral I think.
Today, as we walked up I noticed two men rolling a coffin into the garage. I wondered if there was a dead guy in it. I didn't pay attention to the garage much as the kids played. I was too nervous that Kolby was going to step face first off the climbing wall about 9 feet up.
As we were walking home, I noticed two guys wheeling a gurney with a body bag on it. No joke! The coffin was open and it looked like they were doing a little rearranging.
I thought about saying "Hey, kids! Want to watch a dead guy get put in his coffin?" And then I just decided to walk a little faster as I started typing this out in my head.
Today, as we walked up I noticed two men rolling a coffin into the garage. I wondered if there was a dead guy in it. I didn't pay attention to the garage much as the kids played. I was too nervous that Kolby was going to step face first off the climbing wall about 9 feet up.
As we were walking home, I noticed two guys wheeling a gurney with a body bag on it. No joke! The coffin was open and it looked like they were doing a little rearranging.
I thought about saying "Hey, kids! Want to watch a dead guy get put in his coffin?" And then I just decided to walk a little faster as I started typing this out in my head.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Names, Again
You can probably tell by my kids names that I don't want them to have the same name as five other boys in their class at school. We thought long and hard about what to name them.
We picked Sage Andrew because Sage means wise and we want him to be a wise boy/man. Andrew is after his dad.
We picked Kolby Bo___ because I had nannied for a Kolby all through college and loved the name. Bo___ is my maiden name.
After naming Sage, we realized that it was a unisex name.
I was okay with that, at first. I mean, we can't rename him, especially now that he is 3!
But, here is what really bothers me. We met a couple out here and they are acquaintence's. We saw them only when our mutual friends invited us all to a bar-b-que or a birthday party.
They had a little girl this summer. They named her Sage. They too want her to be wise. Sophia also means wise.
We had laughed that we liked the meaning so much we could name a girl Sophia! Don't worry, Holly, we won't name our girl, Sophia, you already have that name in the family!
I was (ehem, maybe still am) bothered by this. I am irritated that they named their little girl Sage after meeting our boy Sage.
Am I justified in that?
At least, we will probably never see them again.
The problem is that boys names are difficult to pick and find and just when a cool, strong, solid boys name is found, a little girl pops up with the same name.
There are not too many names that are only boys names. There are a lot of girls names that are only girls names, so can't parents of girls just back off?!
I have a slight double standard because I thought it would be kind of cool to name a girl Andrew and call her Drew. But we aren't going to do that, I promise!
We picked Sage Andrew because Sage means wise and we want him to be a wise boy/man. Andrew is after his dad.
We picked Kolby Bo___ because I had nannied for a Kolby all through college and loved the name. Bo___ is my maiden name.
After naming Sage, we realized that it was a unisex name.
I was okay with that, at first. I mean, we can't rename him, especially now that he is 3!
But, here is what really bothers me. We met a couple out here and they are acquaintence's. We saw them only when our mutual friends invited us all to a bar-b-que or a birthday party.
They had a little girl this summer. They named her Sage. They too want her to be wise. Sophia also means wise.
We had laughed that we liked the meaning so much we could name a girl Sophia! Don't worry, Holly, we won't name our girl, Sophia, you already have that name in the family!
I was (ehem, maybe still am) bothered by this. I am irritated that they named their little girl Sage after meeting our boy Sage.
Am I justified in that?
At least, we will probably never see them again.
The problem is that boys names are difficult to pick and find and just when a cool, strong, solid boys name is found, a little girl pops up with the same name.
There are not too many names that are only boys names. There are a lot of girls names that are only girls names, so can't parents of girls just back off?!
I have a slight double standard because I thought it would be kind of cool to name a girl Andrew and call her Drew. But we aren't going to do that, I promise!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Man of the House
Drew has taught Sage that when he isn't home, Sage is the MAN OF THE HOUSE (said is a low, growly voice).
His job? Kill bugs and therefore, protect his mother.
He has completely embraced being the Man of the House. We were reading books on the couch and I notcied a small bug crawling up the wall. I said "Sage, there's a bug, what are you supposed to do?" Without flinching or thinking twice, he reached out to grab and squash the bug. Unfortunately, his skills aren't as good as his fathers, because the little bugger scurried away behind the couch. He looked up at me, startled and said "Oh no, it got away!" And sometimes, he brings me small pieces of dirt and shows me the dead bug.
Yesterday, Drew took the boys to the park while I hosted a baby shower. At the park, Drew saw a professor and his wife, Drew was chatting with the wife and suddenly Sage ran up, hit her on the hip and yelled "Me just killed a bug on the slide, me the MAN OF THE HOUSE!" Of course, she didn't understand what he said and after Drew translated, Sage was brought back to apologize for hitting. She in turn gave him a high five for killing the bug.
This all started because one day I told Drew that I had killed a spider in our house all by myself. I took a picutre of the monster and then prepped myself by saying "You can do it, you are bigger, you can do it, you can do it", before I grabbed it in a paper towel and ran to the bathroom to flush it. I was scared to squash it because I didn't want to feel the sqaush in my fingers so I only grabbed it lightly and of course, it fell out on the floor in front of the bathroom. I screamed, waking Kolby from his nap, picked it up again and threw it in the toilet and flushed almost in one motion. I quickly closed the lid and hoped nothing would ever crawl back up for revenge.
Sage also likes to tell everyone "That when Sage and Daddy are gone, Holby is the Man of the House! And when Sage, Daddy, and Holby are gone, Mommy is the Man of the House!"
His job? Kill bugs and therefore, protect his mother.
He has completely embraced being the Man of the House. We were reading books on the couch and I notcied a small bug crawling up the wall. I said "Sage, there's a bug, what are you supposed to do?" Without flinching or thinking twice, he reached out to grab and squash the bug. Unfortunately, his skills aren't as good as his fathers, because the little bugger scurried away behind the couch. He looked up at me, startled and said "Oh no, it got away!" And sometimes, he brings me small pieces of dirt and shows me the dead bug.
Yesterday, Drew took the boys to the park while I hosted a baby shower. At the park, Drew saw a professor and his wife, Drew was chatting with the wife and suddenly Sage ran up, hit her on the hip and yelled "Me just killed a bug on the slide, me the MAN OF THE HOUSE!" Of course, she didn't understand what he said and after Drew translated, Sage was brought back to apologize for hitting. She in turn gave him a high five for killing the bug.
This all started because one day I told Drew that I had killed a spider in our house all by myself. I took a picutre of the monster and then prepped myself by saying "You can do it, you are bigger, you can do it, you can do it", before I grabbed it in a paper towel and ran to the bathroom to flush it. I was scared to squash it because I didn't want to feel the sqaush in my fingers so I only grabbed it lightly and of course, it fell out on the floor in front of the bathroom. I screamed, waking Kolby from his nap, picked it up again and threw it in the toilet and flushed almost in one motion. I quickly closed the lid and hoped nothing would ever crawl back up for revenge.
Sage also likes to tell everyone "That when Sage and Daddy are gone, Holby is the Man of the House! And when Sage, Daddy, and Holby are gone, Mommy is the Man of the House!"
Friday, October 12, 2007
More Stories From the Toilet
I want to write something, but am having a hard time coming up with anything besides more poop stories and how I want to give my 3 year old away and have him come back after he learns to poop in the potty and not his underwear.
My mind is consumed with poop right now.
I can't tell you how much of my day I am thinking, Does he have to poop, now? Did I give him enough fiber filled foods today? Should I ask him if he needs to go poop? Do I smell poop? Is it Kolby or Sage? Did he just fart? Does that mean he might need to poop? I fart without needing to poop. Should I make him sit on the potty to poop?
That is what I think about all day long (and world peace). And then, after he poops in his underwear, I think, should I spank him? Is he being disobedient? Is he exercising his strong will with poop? I am a failure. I don't know what to do. I should google poop.
My google search from Wed. said that he has had a bad experience with pooping on the potty. It hurt and now he associates pain with the potty. So, I have to make sure that he eats fiber foods. Foods that get things going. He has been drinking straight juice (oh the horror!), eating peaches or pears. His poop is the perfect poop. Not too hard, not too soft, slides right out kind.
It said I should let him poop in a diaper in the bathroom. Except, he won't tell me he needs to poop so how am I supposed to put said diaper on?
My friend said I should sit him on the potty the same time everyday and train his bowels.
I think that is my next step. And maybe spanking.
My mind is consumed with poop right now.
I can't tell you how much of my day I am thinking, Does he have to poop, now? Did I give him enough fiber filled foods today? Should I ask him if he needs to go poop? Do I smell poop? Is it Kolby or Sage? Did he just fart? Does that mean he might need to poop? I fart without needing to poop. Should I make him sit on the potty to poop?
That is what I think about all day long (and world peace). And then, after he poops in his underwear, I think, should I spank him? Is he being disobedient? Is he exercising his strong will with poop? I am a failure. I don't know what to do. I should google poop.
My google search from Wed. said that he has had a bad experience with pooping on the potty. It hurt and now he associates pain with the potty. So, I have to make sure that he eats fiber foods. Foods that get things going. He has been drinking straight juice (oh the horror!), eating peaches or pears. His poop is the perfect poop. Not too hard, not too soft, slides right out kind.
It said I should let him poop in a diaper in the bathroom. Except, he won't tell me he needs to poop so how am I supposed to put said diaper on?
My friend said I should sit him on the potty the same time everyday and train his bowels.
I think that is my next step. And maybe spanking.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
My First Challenge
Challenge: Finding joy in poopy underwear.
Joy: Drew was home and took care of it!
My Second Challenge
Challenge: Finding joy in figuring out how to get Sage to use the toilet and not his underwear
Joy: Undiscovered
So, he gets it, he understands the process, he just doesn't want to go through the process. This morning, he was holding the doorknob of the bathroom, talking to Drew about what it means to be a big boy and use the toilet. He said "I want to be a big boy and poop in the toilet." (Insert small grunting noise here) "I pooped in my underwear." Drew made him stand in the grossness of poop in his underwear and that made him (and me) upset. (I was not about to discredit Drew in that situation, though, Sage needed to realize how upset Dad was) It did make him mad when Drew said he wasn't going to clean him up.
The consequences that we are all sufferring, will be no Cubbies tonight and no dvd's until he poops on the potty. The big fat tears of sadness at no dvds and no Cubbies, hopefully, show me that these are rewards that will work with him.
I'm having a hard time finding joy in potty training. In fact, I dare say, Sage isn't really potty trained, but I am. I am trained to remember how long it has been since he last went and tell him to go. He doesn't go so willingly anymore. He says "Otay, but, I sink that maybe not today." Or something to that effect. He hasn't peed in his underwear in a while, but also, rarely does he say "I have to go to the bathroom!" and go. Once in a while that happens. I think if I let him, he would pee in his underwear all the time, I think.
Potty training is stinky.
Joy: Drew was home and took care of it!
My Second Challenge
Challenge: Finding joy in figuring out how to get Sage to use the toilet and not his underwear
Joy: Undiscovered
So, he gets it, he understands the process, he just doesn't want to go through the process. This morning, he was holding the doorknob of the bathroom, talking to Drew about what it means to be a big boy and use the toilet. He said "I want to be a big boy and poop in the toilet." (Insert small grunting noise here) "I pooped in my underwear." Drew made him stand in the grossness of poop in his underwear and that made him (and me) upset. (I was not about to discredit Drew in that situation, though, Sage needed to realize how upset Dad was) It did make him mad when Drew said he wasn't going to clean him up.
The consequences that we are all sufferring, will be no Cubbies tonight and no dvd's until he poops on the potty. The big fat tears of sadness at no dvds and no Cubbies, hopefully, show me that these are rewards that will work with him.
I'm having a hard time finding joy in potty training. In fact, I dare say, Sage isn't really potty trained, but I am. I am trained to remember how long it has been since he last went and tell him to go. He doesn't go so willingly anymore. He says "Otay, but, I sink that maybe not today." Or something to that effect. He hasn't peed in his underwear in a while, but also, rarely does he say "I have to go to the bathroom!" and go. Once in a while that happens. I think if I let him, he would pee in his underwear all the time, I think.
Potty training is stinky.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
A New Day
I like that I can tuck yesterday behind me and start a new day today. It helps that Drew encouraged me to go running this morning. Time away and exersing does a world of good for me. And the weather is cooler. I am not sweating today!
I have taken care of 3 kids all day, my 3 year old and 18 month old and my friends 9 month old. In addition, I have done 2 loads of laundry, dishes, swept and mopped the floor, swiffered the other floors, did a Bible study on joy and baked a cake. And fed all three of them and kept them in clean diapers, well not the three year old!
Why is today so different from yesterday? I have still dealt with poop, although not on me!
I am so affected by weather. It has been so hot here for far too long. It cooled off today.
I went running.
And most importantly, I read my Bible and did a study on Contagious Joy, a Women of Faith study guide series.
I want people to think of me as joyful and I want them to catch joy from me. The thing with joy, is that it is always there, but I don't always choose it. I have to ask to see it. Sometimes, every day requires me asking for joy, many times a day.
One of the quotes in the side of the study from Barbara Johnson says "We all have seen dreams turn to ashes- ugly things, hopeless experiences- but beauty for ashes is God's exchange. In the midst of the darkness, you will learn lessons you might never have learned in the day."
I am going to start asking God to show me joy that's unaffected by the changes in my circumstances or emotions. Easier said than done!
I have taken care of 3 kids all day, my 3 year old and 18 month old and my friends 9 month old. In addition, I have done 2 loads of laundry, dishes, swept and mopped the floor, swiffered the other floors, did a Bible study on joy and baked a cake. And fed all three of them and kept them in clean diapers, well not the three year old!
Why is today so different from yesterday? I have still dealt with poop, although not on me!
I am so affected by weather. It has been so hot here for far too long. It cooled off today.
I went running.
And most importantly, I read my Bible and did a study on Contagious Joy, a Women of Faith study guide series.
I want people to think of me as joyful and I want them to catch joy from me. The thing with joy, is that it is always there, but I don't always choose it. I have to ask to see it. Sometimes, every day requires me asking for joy, many times a day.
One of the quotes in the side of the study from Barbara Johnson says "We all have seen dreams turn to ashes- ugly things, hopeless experiences- but beauty for ashes is God's exchange. In the midst of the darkness, you will learn lessons you might never have learned in the day."
I am going to start asking God to show me joy that's unaffected by the changes in my circumstances or emotions. Easier said than done!
Monday, October 08, 2007
My Life
I heard Kolby walk into the dining room while I was showering (Blues Clues doesn't keep his attention) I towelled off and my mama instincts told me to check on him. He was standing on the dining room table.
After lunch, I finished putting the dishes in the sink and then came to the living room, thinking it's really quiet. Sage is half laying on the couch and looks at me guiltily. He said "I just pooped and peed." Wonderful.
I went to the front door to sign for a UPS package. Kolby followed. I scooped him up to carry him back inside. I got a woof of something awful. I went to change his diaper and noticed poop was oozing out the leg. I looked at my shirt. Of course.
This is just today and it is only 2:30 pm.
Wine anyone? I mean, whine anyone?
After lunch, I finished putting the dishes in the sink and then came to the living room, thinking it's really quiet. Sage is half laying on the couch and looks at me guiltily. He said "I just pooped and peed." Wonderful.
I went to the front door to sign for a UPS package. Kolby followed. I scooped him up to carry him back inside. I got a woof of something awful. I went to change his diaper and noticed poop was oozing out the leg. I looked at my shirt. Of course.
This is just today and it is only 2:30 pm.
Wine anyone? I mean, whine anyone?
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Thoughts on Prayer
I was reading something and the writer said that God didn't answer her prayer. She was writing in reference to her three year old son being killed in a car accident and her prayer as the doctors were trying to revive him were "Please, Lord, not my baby boy, take me, not him." Then she said that God did not answer that prayer.
It got me thinking.
Does God answer all of our prayers?
I think he does.
I think sometimes, I just don't want the answer He gives. Sometimes, it would be easier to think that he left one unanswered rather than accept His answer.
I think, His answer might be no or wait. And those answers might feel unanswered to me.
But if I don't accept an answer, is that letting Him be God of my life?
I think that if I believe everything in the Bible than I have to believe He answers all my prayers.
I have been thinking a lot lately about Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsamane, Mark 4:36 "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will but what you will." I have to admit to reading about this on another blog but I can't find the exact post. The last line is what I have been thinking about the most. "Yet not what I will but what you will." Jesus prayed these words while waiting for the Roman guards to come arrest him and sentence him to be crucified. He didn't want to be crucified for my sins, but he wanted to do the will of his father, God. He asked God to take this cup from him, he asked him to save him, please, daddy, he said, don't let them crucify me, but not what I want, Lord, but what you want.
I don't have a tragic story to compare this to, I haven't had to ask God to save my child or my husband. I pray that if I ever do, I will be able to say, "Not my will but yours be done."
Another prayer for me, is that I will accept the Lord's answers.
For me, these are profound prayers that I have been dwelling, for you, they may be like duh. I feel like I have to apologize for writing these things because I haven't experienced deep sorrow or tragedy in my life. I feel like I haven't lived through the test.
And then, I remember my childhood. And I remember that God is faithful. And that, my life isn't what I would have willed as a 6th grade girl. And for that, I am thankful.*
God does answer prayer. All of them.
*If you would like to know the rest of this story, please email me through my profile page. I am not sure I am ready to write out that story for all of the internet to read.
It got me thinking.
Does God answer all of our prayers?
I think he does.
I think sometimes, I just don't want the answer He gives. Sometimes, it would be easier to think that he left one unanswered rather than accept His answer.
I think, His answer might be no or wait. And those answers might feel unanswered to me.
But if I don't accept an answer, is that letting Him be God of my life?
I think that if I believe everything in the Bible than I have to believe He answers all my prayers.
I have been thinking a lot lately about Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsamane, Mark 4:36 "Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will but what you will." I have to admit to reading about this on another blog but I can't find the exact post. The last line is what I have been thinking about the most. "Yet not what I will but what you will." Jesus prayed these words while waiting for the Roman guards to come arrest him and sentence him to be crucified. He didn't want to be crucified for my sins, but he wanted to do the will of his father, God. He asked God to take this cup from him, he asked him to save him, please, daddy, he said, don't let them crucify me, but not what I want, Lord, but what you want.
I don't have a tragic story to compare this to, I haven't had to ask God to save my child or my husband. I pray that if I ever do, I will be able to say, "Not my will but yours be done."
Another prayer for me, is that I will accept the Lord's answers.
For me, these are profound prayers that I have been dwelling, for you, they may be like duh. I feel like I have to apologize for writing these things because I haven't experienced deep sorrow or tragedy in my life. I feel like I haven't lived through the test.
And then, I remember my childhood. And I remember that God is faithful. And that, my life isn't what I would have willed as a 6th grade girl. And for that, I am thankful.*
God does answer prayer. All of them.
*If you would like to know the rest of this story, please email me through my profile page. I am not sure I am ready to write out that story for all of the internet to read.
Monday, October 01, 2007
The Right Time
Drew and I have been talking lately about the right time to have another baby. This is not an announcement, don’t read ahead!
Okay, so I have been thinking about it and talking to Drew. Not much talking about it from his side.
My thoughts are, I kind of want to get pregnant in February or March and have the baby in Ocotober or November. That way, we will move the end of May, beginning of June, we will have time to get settled, get Sage in a preschool, Kolby would be 2.5, Sage would be 4. Kolby could be walking in and out of stores, Sage might even be able to buckle himself in the car. And Sage, Kolby and I should be able to have a pretty fun summer going places. But it is the beginning of flu season, and if a newborn were to get the flu or a fever, it’s just not good.
My other thought is to wait until after we move to get pregnant. Then the baby would be due in March or April, flu season would be over. Sage would still be 4 and Kolby would be 3. He should be potty trained (I’m still hopeful that he will be easy, although, I thought he would be an easy newborn since Sage wasn’t and that didn’t happen) or at least close. He would be able to help a lot and then the baby would be fairly small and easy to take places for the summer.
My last thought is, how silly am I to think we will get to choose when we will have our next baby!? It’s not like our first two have been in our perfect plan but they sure were in God’s perfect plan and we have learned that His plan is best.
Sometimes, I just wish I knew His plan, so I could make mine.
And sometimes, I think I want identical twins.
Okay, so I have been thinking about it and talking to Drew. Not much talking about it from his side.
My thoughts are, I kind of want to get pregnant in February or March and have the baby in Ocotober or November. That way, we will move the end of May, beginning of June, we will have time to get settled, get Sage in a preschool, Kolby would be 2.5, Sage would be 4. Kolby could be walking in and out of stores, Sage might even be able to buckle himself in the car. And Sage, Kolby and I should be able to have a pretty fun summer going places. But it is the beginning of flu season, and if a newborn were to get the flu or a fever, it’s just not good.
My other thought is to wait until after we move to get pregnant. Then the baby would be due in March or April, flu season would be over. Sage would still be 4 and Kolby would be 3. He should be potty trained (I’m still hopeful that he will be easy, although, I thought he would be an easy newborn since Sage wasn’t and that didn’t happen) or at least close. He would be able to help a lot and then the baby would be fairly small and easy to take places for the summer.
My last thought is, how silly am I to think we will get to choose when we will have our next baby!? It’s not like our first two have been in our perfect plan but they sure were in God’s perfect plan and we have learned that His plan is best.
Sometimes, I just wish I knew His plan, so I could make mine.
And sometimes, I think I want identical twins.
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