Overdone MasterCard Commercial

"Everybody Poops" $6.95

"Does A Pig Flush?" $5.95

Sage pooping in the toilet today without crying.

Priceless

No Cable

We cancelled our cable subscription. It didn't get us too many channels but it assured us the major networks. Now, those channels don't come in, we get fuzz. So, we watch lots of dvds.

Drew has always wanted to cancel our cable and not have a tv. We kept it because I wasn't on board with that for a long time. And then, this summer, I hardly watched tv at all and it was great. So, I mentioned we should cancel cable when we get home. He didn't forget. And cancelled it right away.

I wanted to take it back.

I didn't.

I found a way to cheat.

I watched Grey's Anatomy online today.

I think I will all season.

Maybe Desperate Housewives too.

Yes, mom, I choose to watch trashy tv. And I like it.

A Prayer Request

I found this blog through Rocks In My Dryer yesterday. I went back and read the whole thing beginning to end and now can't stop myself from hitting the refresh button every two minutes.

In case you just keep reading without clicking over to their blog, Copeland was born Sept. 18. She was born with trisomy 18. I don't even know exactly what it is, but the outcome is death. Babies with trisomy 18 do not live very long. In this case, they were hoping for a few hours and have been given a week so far. It has been a daily, hourly, minute struggle for Copeland, her mom, dad and big sister.

I have been praying for this family as soon as I started reading the story. The strength and faith of the mamma, who is my age, 28, is incredible. The sermon that I heard on Sunday and now reading through this blog continually reminds me of God's sovereinty. I want to pray for a miracle for baby Copeland. And I don't think it is wrong to pray for that. But, I have to pray for God's will to be done.

It has also made me think about how they are just treasuring every minute they have with Copeland and rightly so. They don't know how many minutes they have with her. It made me think of my two boys and how I don't treasure every minute. I don't treasure every minute because I expect to have hundreds, millions of minutes with them. But, I have no idea how many minutes I have with them. I could have millions or hundreds or only five. I don't know.

It scares me and it is one of my biggest fears, to lose a child or my husband. I don't find comfort in the fact that I know God is sovereign or that He will give me grace to walk through whatever His path for me may be. Everyday, I have to give myself to His will. Everyday, I have to ask/tell Him that I want to walk in His will, whatever that is for my life. And that, is all I can do. I can't worry about tomorrow or the next 10 minutes because I don't know what it will bring but I know Whom I can count on. I know I can count on Him because He has been there for me every step of my life. Protecting me from things I didn't see, He has been faithful. He has proved to me that He will always be faithful.

And now, I am going to read some books with breakfast dishes in the sink, pajamas on, and the wonder of when the window guys will knock on my door.

Sometimes, I just don't know what to say

I don't have a cute story.

I don't have a cute picture.

I am not depressed or sad.

I am just here.

Living life. Getting through. Enjoying it. Just being.

Drew is in Rome, he left Saturday. Sage and I are using a red marker to cross out each day and there is a heart around Sunday when Sage will get to see him again.

And that is it. The boys and I are just exisiting. I am praying everyday for patience, help to not lose it, to keep our house running smoothly while dadda is away.

And again, I think, how in the world do single moms do it.

Sage has done and said some cute stuff. Kolby too. He just is cute. His little legs that carry him around the apartment. He drags bags of toys around with him while his tongue sticks out in concentration. He screams every time Sage tells him no, which is, approximately, every minute. Sage will tell Kolby not to breathe because it is bothering him. He cries in frustration when he falls or is bumped. Then they will be sweet and Sage will give Kolby a hug while simultaneously pulling him over.

I have a new approach to potty training. This is day #2. I set the alarm on my watch for every hour and 15 minutes and make Sage go to the bathroom. I realize that most of you are probably thinking duh! But, come on. He was doing so well that I started to ask instead of tell. And then he started wetting his pants. But, I can hardly remember to go to the bathroom myself, so I needed a reminder. It is going well so far. He did wet in his underwear this morning but I had started off every 2 hours and have since made it more frequent. I need to teach him the self-discipline to go to the bathroom.

This is #1,578 approach to potty training. We even went back to diapers for a couple days. But I decided he was too smart for that when he would say "Me just peeing in my diaper."

I am not worrying about #2 in the potty yet. Let's get #1 consistently in the potty and then we will go back to trying for #2. He will be potty trained in time for prom, I think.

Life is mundane. Life is good. Life is all about pee in the potty.

A Conversation

The scene: Kolby is laying on the changing table while I change his diaper. Sage is standing next to me.

Sage farts.

Kolby giggles.

Sage: "Farts aren't funny, Bo!"

Me: "Oh, Sage farts are very funny!"

How to Shoplift At Target

1. Take a preschooler and a toddler with you (I take boys)

2. Seat one in the seat and one in the cart

3. Use the underneath part to hold your bags that you brought with you

4. Also use the underneath part to pile your intended purchases

5. Remove items from underneath and place on conveyer belt

6. Pay for items

7. Bag your own items in your own bags (Why is it that no cashier knows how to bag things in bags you bring yourself?)

8. Wheel cart with kids still in it, out to your car

9. Put bags in trunk

10. As you start to lift the preschooler out of the cart, notices items still in the underneath part that weren't paid for

11. Wheel cart and kids back inside store

12. Pay for items you almost shoplifted

13. Don't expect a thank you, it was only $10 worth of stuff

Frustration

I didn't think I would write another post about this so soon, but it is on my mind and it is making me lose my mind.

Potty Training.

I hate. it. It is so far, the hardest thing I have done/gone through as a parent.

Yesterday, not so good in the whole potty training realm. He pooped in his pull up during nap time and the pull up leaked pee on my bed, on the quilt that Drew's grandma made, the quilt that I can't put in the dryer.

He holds his poop in. He squeezes his cheeks together and walks around on tip toes.

He has accidents all. the. time. He doesn't care if he pees in his underwear.

I have prayed. This morning, I gave it all to God. But, the first accident he had this morning, I felt the frustration flare up. I am half tempted to go back to diapers. Let him pee and poop in his pants for as long as he stinkin wants. I am ready to throw in the towel.

I know he can do it. This morning as I was getting up to go running, he was in the bathroom and had just finished peeing by himself! No one told him to go to the bathroom, he just went. I don't get it. I am at a loss. His pull ups from nap time and overnight have been dry (except yesterday and he didn't want to go pee before he took his nap because he had to poop and he coudn't pee without pooping) for a week.

Is he rebelling? Is he controlling me? Has he found something to hold over me? Or can he really not hold his pee? Is he too young? Am I a wimp?

I am open to advice, not criticism. I am open to help, to encouragement. If you want to refute my methods, keep your mouth shut, I don't need that right now. If you want to offer encouragement, a funny story, or something that might be helpful, please write a comment. I write that I am not open to criticism because I am already down about this subject and don't need to be brought lower. My thoughts tell me enough that I don't do it right, that I am failing, I dont' need to hear it from the internet.

What's In A Name?

My parents named me Kristy Marie. I was named after my Aunt Marie Kristine. They wanted to call me Kristy so they named me Kristy because they always said, “we’ll name them what we are going to call them.” (Never mind that my older brother is named Bradley and he was called Brad, unless he was in trouble)

I always thought Kristy was such a little girl’s name. I thought I forever sounded like I was a six-year old girl with braids. What if I wanted a career? And my name is Kristy. It doesn’t exactly command respect.

Did you know that when you get married, you could change your name to anything you print and then sign? I had thought about it a little bit and didn’t think of it again until the day Drew and I went to get our marriage license.

As we stood there, making the most important decision of our life by obtaining a marriage certificate, I made another decision. I dropped my middle name, Marie, and used my maiden name as my middle name and changed my first name from Kristy to Kristin.

At first it didn’t matter because I lived in the same city and everyone knew me as Kristy so it kind of seemed like a joke, something my brothers made fun of me for, something that didn’t really mean anything.

Then we moved. I could introduce myself as Kristin. Except, I wasn’t Kristin. I tried to become Kristin and there are still people who know me as Kristin, but it always sounds funny to me when they call my name, leave a message or introduce me to someone else.

And, not too long ago, I decided that I should have thought about the spelling more. K R I S T Y. I should have spelled it K R I S T Y N. Then, it makes sense as to why Kristy is spelled with a y.

Five years after changing my name, I kind of regret it. I wish I kept my name as just Kristy or maybe I wish I had spelled it differently. But, I probably would have regretted if I hadn’t changed my name, I wouldn’t have known what it was like to be called Kristin and I wouldn’t have known that it would never feel or sound right.

I don’t regret dropping my middle name and using my maiden name, I love my maiden name. I love it so much, Kolby’s middle name is my maiden name and consequently, that is how we got his nickname, Bo. And he is such a Bo. And such a Kolby.

I love my kid’s names. I hope they don’t want to change them!

On Potty Training

Sage has been potty training since we got back from MN. Literally, the day after we got home, I announced "No more pull-ups." And he went with it. The first 2 days were horrible. Accidents all. the. time. The third day dawned and I thought if it doesn't get better, he is going back to pull ups.

And miracle of miracles, no accidents!

The next day, we had planned to drive into Boston and tour Fenway and Harvard. I was nervous about Sage and public bathrooms and accidents. I packed 4 pair of clean clothes and ended up using one of the pair of shorts for Kolby because I forgot to change his diaper! Oops. I felt like we were on our way. The sticker chart was working, everything was great. I bragged to my sister how good he was doing.

Then I don't know what happened. Different accidents started. The kind where he starts going in his pants and then stops and finishes in the toilet. It was exasperating but I played it cool, no big deal. And then I played it disappointing. The accidents didn't let up. They got worse.

You might have read the letter. I was fed up. I called in reinforcements and called grandma. She said, it sounds like he has found something to be rebellious and control you. It sounds like you need to spank. She said the S word!

I decided to threaten Sage with the S word. I told him that accidents are not tolerated in our house. If he is going to choose to pee on the couch or floor instead of in the potty, he will have to get a spanking because he is disobeying.

He has had one accident since and it seemed to truly be an accident.

We are still working the sticker chart and I don't even want to think about how much money we have spent on cars and books to get to this point. The guitar is still looming over his head. I still have to tell him to go to the bathroom. Or maybe I am not brave enough to find out what happens if I don't! I hope when he is sixteen I am not calling him on his cell at school telling him to go to the bathroom.

Don't get me started on going number two. Battle. He holds it. He walks around on tip toes with his cheeks squeezed together. We talk about how everyone poops. He names everyone he knows. Yep, our neighbors, mailman, dogs, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Why does he continue to look amazed everytime we answer, "Yes, grandma poops."

Yesterday, as we drove home he asked "Someday, when me get bigger, me not poop anymore?" No, buddy, you will always poop.

Third Times a Charm

Today is Drew's birthday. His 27th! Happy birthday, love you!

I wanted to make a dessert. My first choice, cupcakes. After lunch, I mix the ingredients together and fill the tins. I stick them in the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes and start to wash my dishes. About 7 minutes in, it starts to smell like something is burning. But, it can't be the cupcakes, they are supposed to bake for 12 - 15 minutes and it has only been 7. I peer inside the oven looking for whatever is burning on the oven ground.

After 10 minutes, I take the cupcakes out and they are smoking. They are most definitely what was burning. I had the rack on the bottom, that is all I can figure out.

And then I threw away 23 cupcakes.

So, I finish the dishes, get the boys tucked in for their naps and decide chocolate chip cookies are the way to my mans heart. I mix all the ingredients together. While adding the Crisco, I think, weird, it seems to smell funny and the 2 Crisco sticks I used look white and fresh and this jar that I never purchased but it must have been purchased by the people who lived here this summer so how old can it be looks yellowy and odd. I thought it was my garbage that was smelling and surely this won't be a problem. I dump it in, mix everything together, add the chocolate chips and take a big old bite of cookie dough. It tastes like stale nuts.

And then I threw away 4 or 5 dozen cookies worth of dough.

And I am not going to find out if the third time is a charm because I refuse to mess up more yummy desserts that my mouth has already been watering to eat.

Another Kolby Post

Kolby had a doctor appointment yesterday with his orthopedic doctor.

First, he had x-rays of his feet which I didn't know he was going to have. I had brought Sage with me thinking it was going to be an in and out type of appointment. As we walk into the x-ray room, Sage and Kolby both look around nervously. I had already prepped Sage that he wouldn't be able to stand next to mom and Kolby while they took pictures of Kolby's feet. As we walked in, I showed him where he would stand behind the window with the nurse. What I didn't prepare him or myself for was Kolby's fear. As soon as I set him down on the table, he started crying and wriggling. I could see Sage wringing his shirt behind me getting more and more nervous as Kolby continued to scream. I said "Sage, they aren't hurting Kolby, he is just scared." I turned back to Kolby and heard a wail behind me. The nurse helped with Sage and got him calmed down after I promised chocolate milk when this is all over. Kolby continued to scream and wriggle but the x-rays came out so we didn't have to redo anything.

First fiasco, over! Then, we waited in the examination room for probably 20 minutes. I read Tarzan about death and mean people to Sage who had many questions about why that ape is so sad and sleeping. Seriously, can Disney be any less kid friendly?

The PA walks in who is not our normal doctor. It ends up, he was in emergency surgery for many hours. We looked at his x-rays and his bones are all lining up perfectly, exactly how they are supposed to! Praise God! He said a couple of times, this is so different from 10 - 12 years ago. The correction is great and wonderful.

Our physical therapist has been wanting to get Kolby inserts for his shoes to help with his very flat foot. The PA suggested that is not something we want to do right now, as we don't want any hint of Kolby's foot to turn back in. I also asked about the type of shoe Kolby should be wearing right now and was told a shoe with a flat lace. Meaning that when you hold a pen in the middle on the bottom of the shoe all sides should be equal. We went to Stride Right today and got him New Balance size 6, extra wide running shoes. He had Converse size 4. Funny, they didn't seem small...

So, it was a good visit, he also got bigger shoes and a bigger bar. And our next visit is March 11, 2008. He'll be two. Isn't that crazy?

A Rockin Giveaway

I know, I know. I wasn't going to do anymore contests. I don't win and they are boring for you, my dear readers. But! This one is so cute! So, here it is. The contest. And the Rockin Site.

Dear Sage,

You peed on the couch today.

This is something that I don't want to forget. Not because it was funny or even brings a small smile to my mouth, just because someday, when you are doing something that I can't even think what it might be. I want to be able to respond with, you peed on the couch.

I was getting ready for the day in the bathroom and yelled at you to remember to go potty if you needed to. When I came out to the living room, you were laying on the couch and looked up at me with your half sad look and said "Me wet." That was the understatement of the year. You were soaked and laying in your own pee. Two days ago, you didn't have one accident all day, not even a whoops I started and now I am running to the bathroom accident. Same pair of underwear all day long. I was ready to buy you that guitar. Yesterday, you peed your pants twice. I wasn't sure of the circumstances and gave you the benefit of the doubt that you couldn't get your pants down by yourself. The first time, I was in the basement switching the laundry, the second, I was getting Kolby ready for bed. I should have known better the second time since the pee was right by the bookcase and there was no attempt at your pants or underwear being pulled down. But today, you were laying in your own urine, on the couch.

I immediately called my mom, your grandma, and she told me to 1) calm down 2) spank your bottom. I think you are lucky she answered her phone because I don't know what would have happened if she didn't answer but we probably wouldn't have had a fun morning at the park and instead we would have all been miserable and mad at each other at home.

I will always love you, Sage, even when you pee on my couch. Someday, I expect a replacement.

Love,

Mamma