Craving Chocolate

I've been in a bit of a bad mood lately. Maybe you've noticed. I'm pretty sure my husband has. I've been down and just haven't snapped out of it. I've spent time in the Word and praying. But I just feel like yuck.

We're still struggling through potty training Kolby. Number 2 is holding out on us. The only way I mean that is that he poops in his underwear more than half the time. If he hasn't, most likely, it is because I noticed The Look and got him to the potty. But, I know he can do it. I know he can. He's done it. Just last week, after a nap, he went to the bathroom, unprompted and did his business and tried to wipe. I wasn't even around. I just happened to check on him. He was even wearing a pull up for his nap. And I am beyond frustrated with it. I'm so over it. He's 3.5. I mean, really. At this rate, he won't be fully potty trained for his high school graduation.

Levi doesn't quite sleep through the night. We have good nights, like last night where he woke up at 3:23 and I nursed him and he was back in his bed by 3:49. And we have bad nights like the uncountable nights before.

And he bit me today. HARD. While nursing. I yelled very loudly and then sat him down away from me. He cried and crawled over to me. I picked him up and he laid his head on my shoulder. He hasn't bitten in so long, but this one was so hard. I still shudder a little thinking of the pain.

I've also been going through the book Shepherding A Childs Heart by Ted Tripp with some women. And I feel like I am struggling with parenting. It is a tiring, impossible process that never ends. I feel like everything I do is wrong. And that I continue to mess up my kids. It is only by the grace of God that they will grow up. I just want to do things right. But my sinful nature keeps getting in the way. I'm selfish. So selfish. So are they. It isn't a great combination.

All that to say, I really wanted some chocolate today. So I made this cake.

Chocolate Cream Cheese Pound Cake

1 box chocolate fudge cake mix
8 oz. cream cheese
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup veg. oil
1/4 cup sugar
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup chocolate chips (optional)

Spray bundt pan with Bakers Joy. Put all ingredients except chocolate chips in a bowl and beat on low for one minute. Scrape sides of bowl then beat two minutes on medium speed. Add chocolate chips and stir. Pour in pan. Bake at 325 degrees for one hour. Remove and let cool for 20 minutes. Invert on platter and eat with strawberries, raspberries and whipped cream or plain.

Want a piece?