Starting A New Life

Have you ever thought when you move, no one knows me, no one knows what I am like, I can be a totally different person? I've thought about that with the way I dress, I can recreate myself and no one would know, they would think that is how I have always been. I have always wanted to be more of a funky dresser or unique, but am really quite plain. Solid colored shirts with denim or a type of khaki pants or shorts dominate my wardrobe. Not that it is bad, just plain. I see shirts with patterns that I think are cute, but the problem is, they cost money and my plain shirts never seem to go out of style. So, I think I am going to look for some fun earrings on Etsy to go with my plain shirts.

This isn't what I intended to write about.

We visited a church this morning. Houston's First Baptist Church. I was so overwhelmed walking in, finding the welcome center so they could show me where to drop off my children. I can't describe how huge the church is, just huge, two floors, we probably walked a quarter mile to drop our kids off and I don't think I am exaggerating. I kept thinking what if Kolby has an asthma attach and I get paged and I can't find his room again? (He rarely has asthma attacks and they usually come when he has a cold also, which he doesn't, but come one, I needed to worry about something and then I wondered what would happen if there was a fire, how would I find my kids, would the workers really get them out? Irrational, I know, hey, I'm pregnant). We made it into the service (we were late and arrived 25 minutes before it started, how did that happen unless we walked a quarter of a mile to drop our kids off) and I wanted to burst into tears. I don't know why. I was overwhelmed with the number of people that were in one building to learn about God and how it seemed like the same number of people who live in all of Connecticut, not really, but it felt like it. Overwhelmed that in this huge crowd of people, I only know the 3 that I came with. Overwhelmed with the realization that we are starting over. Starting from scratch to meet people. People who already live here. People who already have friends. Do they have room for one more?

It was a great service. The music was upbeat, praise songs. The message was great. I learned something and walked away with something. The pastor wants us to memorize a verse, Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still." (I totally had to look, guess I will keep working on that!) The message may have been written to me. He talked about the Isrealites and how their faith was weak and forgetful. Like mine. On Sundays, I am bold, ready to tell people about Jesus and his love for them. Mondays, I am terrified to mention his name, afraid of offending people. I need to remember that my God is strong and faithful not weak and forgetful. It is my faith that is weak and forgetful not my God. He also talked about how we live in a negative, complaint filled society. The weather is forecasted from the Severe Weather Center, and they told him the high would be 94, the low 75 and it will be partly cloudy today. Catch the negativism? Severe. Partly cloudy. It could be just the weather center or partly sunny. Kind of like my house right now, do I see it as half painted and partly messy or half done painted and lots of boxes put away? I am being the most honest when I say, I see a mess and a lot more work, but we have gotten a lot done and put away.

I took notes and was able to follow along easily. I loved it, I paid attention the whole time and didn't have time to fill our my visitor card. It would be so easy to go back and settle in, but we know that we need to visit more churches to we can find a church family and not just a church.

It will remain high on the list.

We took today off from doing work around the house, Sage was quite excited that mom and dad weren't painting today. I think we are going through an adjustment period with him. We are busy, boxes are open but untouchable for them, everything is different. He is crying really easily, throwing fits, which is not normal for him. We are going to take today to hang out with the kiddos and we have promised a zoo trip this week.