The Beginning of the End

We have had a few lasts here already. Some of them on purpose, some of them unknowingly. Yesterday, we went to NYC via the train for the last time. We played in Central Park, saw Thumbelina, the worlds smallest horse, ate lunch with some friends who moved from Iowa, and picked up my mothers day gif. It was a great exhausting day.

A week or so ago, we went to the library story time for the last time without realizing it. It was sad as I looked back and didn't even get to tell Miss Mary, thank you for making story time so fun for my boys, we won't be coming back. I thought we would go the next week but circumstances kept us from going.

This morning, we went to our church for the last time. We are excited to find a new church in Houston.

I don't know when Sage played with his Little Tykes firetruck for the last time. We had to sell it. Moving into a town home without a garage and without a yard of our own, we have to get rid of quite a few outdoor toys. Drew had to deliver it Friday night as I put the boys to bed. Sage was so sad. I was so sad for him. We were both crying. He kept telling Drew "You don't have to deliver it!" Sage wasn't asleep when Drew got home and he started telling him again not to deliver it. Drew replied with "I think it is time to get you a bike!" We haven't heard another word of being sad about the firetruck. And no, we have no idea where we will keep the bike, but we will figure it out later.

I think some of the things will be easier if we don't realize they are our last time. We have a park a couple blocks away, the park where both boys learned how to slide, to swing and both love that park still. I don't want to know when the last time we go there will be.

On Saturday, Drew's parents arrive for his graduation, after that, nothing will be the same. We are giving them our room and taking an air mattress in the boys room, his brother will sleep on the couch (if we still have it). Friday night will be the last time we sleep as a family in our little apartment, like we are supposed to be.

I am excited for the new adventure that awaits us, but I am a little sad to be moving too. I haven't written too much here about what a surprise moving to Houston is. I knew we were open to moving anywhere but assumed we were moving to Minneapolis. Close to family. But, we are moving the same distance away, but in the opposite direction. And as we have gotten ready to move, I have realized how much I have liked living in New Haven. It took me awhile, but I like it, I do.

We sang "I Surrender All" for our closing hymn this morning. And I was thinking, I haven't surrendered all. I have held on to many things. My kids, my husband. I don't surrender them. I want to hold them tight and keep them with me always. I haven't surrendered this move. I want to do it myself.

All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

Refrain

I surrender all, I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessèd Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

Refrain

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

Refrain

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

Refrain

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!

So, this week, I am going to work on surrendering. All. Because I want to. Because I know life will be easier if I do.