Dinner is cleaned up.
Lunches are packed for tomorrow.
Baths have been given.
Drew is putting the boys to bed after he rocked Annkia to sleep (she hopefully will be waking up to eat once more).
And the house is quiet.
Ahh.
I have moments of pure bliss. The thought "I could have another one." totally swims through my head. Followed by, "I want to homeschool."
Then, I have moments of "What in the heck am I doing?! I can't handle these kids."
The moments that I think what in heck are the moments when I'm a) trying to get something done (laundry, sweep the floor, etc) and keep getting interrupted or b) when I'm trying to do something for myself (like on the internet for myself, not go to the bathroom kind of thing).
So, basically, when I put my kids and their needs first, I feel great and they feel great. When I try to put my desires before their needs, we spiral downward. Those are extreme statements but generally true.
Does that make sense?
There must be a deeper lesson that I am too tired to convey.
This morning, I really wanted to go on a walk. We took Kolby to school and then when we got home, I fed Annika and tried putting her back in her carseat to go in the stroller. She got mad. I put shoes on Levi. She was still mad. I got the stroller out of the van. Still mad. I loaded Levi in the stroller. Still mad. I put her in the stroller. Really angry. We walked 100 feet and I turned around and came home. Except I got mad. Mad at the baby who wouldn't stop crying, mad because I wasn't getting to do what I wanted to do. {Am I 2?! Don't answer that.}
We got in the house, I took her out of her carseat and she instantly stopped crying. I held her for a bit and then put her in her bouncy seat. Where she proceeded to fall asleep. Really, she couldn't have fallen asleep in the carseat in the stroller? I had let it go by that point. And I did get stuff done around the house. So, there's that.
After picking up Kolby from school, Levi had fallen asleep in the car and Annika had screamed the whole way there, while waiting in line and the whole way home. She's persistent. I got her out of her car seat and she instantly stopped crying (see a trend?). Then I tried to get Levi out, except he wasn't waking up. So, I had Annika in one arm and Levi in the other and an SUV slows way down and a lady hands me a business card and says "Maybe I help you?" She's a cleaning lady. Wonder why she thought I needed help!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
How you doin?
Today was busy. But, mostly because I made it busy. I went to three different Targets to find a shirt. I saw someone wearing it yesterday at church and had to have it. It's perfect. An open, drapey cardigan, super soft like a sweatshirt and I was in love. I found it in heather gray at the first store but thought I wanted black. The second store didn't have any of them. And the third store had two in black, both the wrong size. So, I bought the gray. And I'm going to wear the threads out of it.
Tonight I said "Holy Cow!" Sage told me I said a bad word. First, I had to ask him what I said. Second, I had to ask him why it was bad. I was genuinly confused. He said "It doesn't honor Jesus. And you're saying a cow is holy and it's not." Um, put in place by a 6 year old. Dang.
This weekend, we had some friends from college come visit. Last time we saw them, we had two kids and she was pregnant with their first. Now, they have two. It was so fun! We ate and talked and talked and ate some more. We played remember when and encouraged each other regarding our parenting skills. I loved having them here and it just wasn't enough time. We didn't even take any pictures. So pathetic.
We're getting our family pictures taken this weekend. I think I've got our outfits figured out. I totally over thought them. That's what I do. I solicited advice from friends. That's what I do. I kind of wish someone would say, here, wear this. And we'd all look totally fabulous. You know, put together but not matchy-matchy. I have a hard time thinking not matchy-matchy. So, we'll go matchy-matchy this time, but next time, I'm gonna make Annalee help me more. She did give advice and I did take it. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
Tonight, we played trust falls. You know, where one person falls and the person behind them, catches them. Kolby thought it was so hilarious when Drew caught me. At first, the boys couldn't fall. I had to coach them to be stiff as a board. They got it after I held their feet a couple times. Drew totally dropped Kolby the first time I held his feet. Not bad, but it made me laugh. And Kolby got up and tried it again. I'm not sure he even realized Drew dropped him.
Whew. I feel like I just talked a mile a minute. {Breathe out.} How are you?
Tonight I said "Holy Cow!" Sage told me I said a bad word. First, I had to ask him what I said. Second, I had to ask him why it was bad. I was genuinly confused. He said "It doesn't honor Jesus. And you're saying a cow is holy and it's not." Um, put in place by a 6 year old. Dang.
This weekend, we had some friends from college come visit. Last time we saw them, we had two kids and she was pregnant with their first. Now, they have two. It was so fun! We ate and talked and talked and ate some more. We played remember when and encouraged each other regarding our parenting skills. I loved having them here and it just wasn't enough time. We didn't even take any pictures. So pathetic.
We're getting our family pictures taken this weekend. I think I've got our outfits figured out. I totally over thought them. That's what I do. I solicited advice from friends. That's what I do. I kind of wish someone would say, here, wear this. And we'd all look totally fabulous. You know, put together but not matchy-matchy. I have a hard time thinking not matchy-matchy. So, we'll go matchy-matchy this time, but next time, I'm gonna make Annalee help me more. She did give advice and I did take it. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
Tonight, we played trust falls. You know, where one person falls and the person behind them, catches them. Kolby thought it was so hilarious when Drew caught me. At first, the boys couldn't fall. I had to coach them to be stiff as a board. They got it after I held their feet a couple times. Drew totally dropped Kolby the first time I held his feet. Not bad, but it made me laugh. And Kolby got up and tried it again. I'm not sure he even realized Drew dropped him.
Whew. I feel like I just talked a mile a minute. {Breathe out.} How are you?
Thursday, November 11, 2010
No Years Old
Levi's birthday was yesterday and I've been meaning to write a post all about Levi since he was about 15 months old, so I started writing this about a month ago!
The thing is, putting words on Levi is like picking up a raw egg off the floor. It's so slippery, it can't be done. I'm afraid that describing him with words just won't be enough. And weirdly enough, I'm afraid it will sound like I'm bragging, like "Look what my kid can do!"
So, look what my kid can do!
Levi, you are 2 years old or a better definition, No years old.
You have adjusted to Annika beautifully. You love to hold her (you say hol her?) and bring me diapers. You also love to climb into my lap while she nurses. Sometimes I read you a book, sometimes we just talk. Mostly me telling you that I love you. And you saying back "I yove you, Mom." Melt my heart sweet.
You can be super sweet. You give lots of really good hugs and kisses. You eagerly tell us you love us. You yell good night from your crib. When Drew leaves for work in the morning, you are often sitting in your chair at the table, and yell while he is opening the door "Yove you dad!"
Speaking of your chair at the table, you can buckle and unbuckle it. You started unbuckling yourself right after Annika was born. Unlucky for your mama who needs you to be safe and in one spot sometimes! Luckily, you haven't figured out your car seat buckles!
You talk! A lot! And repeat everything! You have been talking since right around a year, maybe earlier. You have amazed us with your talking. You know how or at least you used to say mine correctly but now you say mise. I have a hard time correcting that one because who wants their kid to say mine all the time? You say never all the time. It makes Kolby so mad. But when someone asks a question, usually to go somewhere or eat something you respond with "No. Never."
For a couple of months, you were crying when we put you to bed. It was just about 10 minutes but we couldn't figure out why you were crying. And then we went on vacation and you slept in the same room as Sage and Kolby and you didn't cry. When we got home, we moved your crib into the boys' room and you stopped crying! (This was a month or two before Annika was born.)
Then you started crying again. We would tell you to climb into your crib and watch as you tried so hard to get into bed. And then we'd laugh a little and lift you in. We soon realized that you were upset that you couldn't get into your bed like your brothers did. So, now we make sure to lower the crib rail, you climb in and no crying!
You count to nine. I'm not kidding and no I didn't teach you. We were driving home after dropping Kolby off at school and I hear your little, high pitched voice counting to nine. I couldn't believe it. I made you do it again and you couldn't. Then a week or so later, you did it again. You love to look at books and count things in the book. You also know some colors. Again, I didn't teach you. You know blue, green and red every time. Sometimes you get yellow and purple.
You point out every school bus and motorcycle you see. You used to point out every car or truck. So, when I was driving you would look out the window and say "Car, truck, truck, car, car, truck." On and on. And you were excited about everyone that you saw!
You can name a monkey, tiger, squirrel, giraffe, elephant, bird, snake, dog, and cat. You love to tell us what they say. I love to ask you what a monkey says because I love the way you say ooh, ooh, aah, aah.
You like to pretend that you are a dog. You crawl around and bark, which is more like a yap. If you were classified, you would be one of the annoying yip yap dogs! And you lick us when you are pretending to be a dog.
You have also been seen pretending to be a frog. Hopping around on all fours saying ribbit!
When you play with your trains and track, you yell "All aboard!"
You have been pretending for a long time, since around 15 months. You would feed us pretend food from pretend dishes.
You can name everyone in our family from a picture or when someone points to them. You call Kolby, Bolby. (Sage used to say Holby) You say Anka.
When asked:
What's you name? Yebi!
How old are you? BIG!
How old are you? One.
Who made you? God.
Where is God? Everywhere. (while spreading both of your arms out)
You love cheese sticks. You will literally eat as many as I let you. You eat whole grapes and have for a long time. I would cut them up and you wouldn't eat them because they didn't look like the ones on your brothers plate.
You chew gum. It rarely makes it to the garbage, you swallow it first!
You want to do everything your brothers do and generally, you keep up and do what they do!
You are either Kolby's best friend or worst enemy. You enjoy antagonizing him. If he yells yes, you yell no. If he yells no, you yell yes. It' s really fun in the van as you make Kolby cry just because you are yelling the opposite of whatever he is saying. (Totally sarcastic.)
As soon as you are sitting on the time out step, you yell "Sowwy mom, sowwy!" Sometimes, it gets you out early.
So many times a day, you say "Noise?" And then you answer yourself "Anka cwying?" Or you start guessing other people's names. Or if we're in the car, you say "Car honking?" And you look at me with a questioning look on your face and will continue to guess until I tell you the source of the noise.
Levi, you are complete sunshine, except when you're laying face down on the floor crying. But, even then, I still (usually) smile and laugh a little, but not while you are looking at me. I look forward to you waking up in the morning. You make me laugh. You make me smile. You are the perfect third born son. I love you to the moon and back.
The thing is, putting words on Levi is like picking up a raw egg off the floor. It's so slippery, it can't be done. I'm afraid that describing him with words just won't be enough. And weirdly enough, I'm afraid it will sound like I'm bragging, like "Look what my kid can do!"
So, look what my kid can do!
Levi, you are 2 years old or a better definition, No years old.
You have adjusted to Annika beautifully. You love to hold her (you say hol her?) and bring me diapers. You also love to climb into my lap while she nurses. Sometimes I read you a book, sometimes we just talk. Mostly me telling you that I love you. And you saying back "I yove you, Mom." Melt my heart sweet.
You can be super sweet. You give lots of really good hugs and kisses. You eagerly tell us you love us. You yell good night from your crib. When Drew leaves for work in the morning, you are often sitting in your chair at the table, and yell while he is opening the door "Yove you dad!"
Speaking of your chair at the table, you can buckle and unbuckle it. You started unbuckling yourself right after Annika was born. Unlucky for your mama who needs you to be safe and in one spot sometimes! Luckily, you haven't figured out your car seat buckles!
You talk! A lot! And repeat everything! You have been talking since right around a year, maybe earlier. You have amazed us with your talking. You know how or at least you used to say mine correctly but now you say mise. I have a hard time correcting that one because who wants their kid to say mine all the time? You say never all the time. It makes Kolby so mad. But when someone asks a question, usually to go somewhere or eat something you respond with "No. Never."
For a couple of months, you were crying when we put you to bed. It was just about 10 minutes but we couldn't figure out why you were crying. And then we went on vacation and you slept in the same room as Sage and Kolby and you didn't cry. When we got home, we moved your crib into the boys' room and you stopped crying! (This was a month or two before Annika was born.)
Then you started crying again. We would tell you to climb into your crib and watch as you tried so hard to get into bed. And then we'd laugh a little and lift you in. We soon realized that you were upset that you couldn't get into your bed like your brothers did. So, now we make sure to lower the crib rail, you climb in and no crying!
You count to nine. I'm not kidding and no I didn't teach you. We were driving home after dropping Kolby off at school and I hear your little, high pitched voice counting to nine. I couldn't believe it. I made you do it again and you couldn't. Then a week or so later, you did it again. You love to look at books and count things in the book. You also know some colors. Again, I didn't teach you. You know blue, green and red every time. Sometimes you get yellow and purple.
You point out every school bus and motorcycle you see. You used to point out every car or truck. So, when I was driving you would look out the window and say "Car, truck, truck, car, car, truck." On and on. And you were excited about everyone that you saw!
You can name a monkey, tiger, squirrel, giraffe, elephant, bird, snake, dog, and cat. You love to tell us what they say. I love to ask you what a monkey says because I love the way you say ooh, ooh, aah, aah.
You like to pretend that you are a dog. You crawl around and bark, which is more like a yap. If you were classified, you would be one of the annoying yip yap dogs! And you lick us when you are pretending to be a dog.
You have also been seen pretending to be a frog. Hopping around on all fours saying ribbit!
When you play with your trains and track, you yell "All aboard!"
You have been pretending for a long time, since around 15 months. You would feed us pretend food from pretend dishes.
You can name everyone in our family from a picture or when someone points to them. You call Kolby, Bolby. (Sage used to say Holby) You say Anka.
When asked:
What's you name? Yebi!
How old are you? BIG!
How old are you? One.
Who made you? God.
Where is God? Everywhere. (while spreading both of your arms out)
You love cheese sticks. You will literally eat as many as I let you. You eat whole grapes and have for a long time. I would cut them up and you wouldn't eat them because they didn't look like the ones on your brothers plate.
You chew gum. It rarely makes it to the garbage, you swallow it first!
You want to do everything your brothers do and generally, you keep up and do what they do!
You are either Kolby's best friend or worst enemy. You enjoy antagonizing him. If he yells yes, you yell no. If he yells no, you yell yes. It' s really fun in the van as you make Kolby cry just because you are yelling the opposite of whatever he is saying. (Totally sarcastic.)
As soon as you are sitting on the time out step, you yell "Sowwy mom, sowwy!" Sometimes, it gets you out early.
So many times a day, you say "Noise?" And then you answer yourself "Anka cwying?" Or you start guessing other people's names. Or if we're in the car, you say "Car honking?" And you look at me with a questioning look on your face and will continue to guess until I tell you the source of the noise.
Levi, you are complete sunshine, except when you're laying face down on the floor crying. But, even then, I still (usually) smile and laugh a little, but not while you are looking at me. I look forward to you waking up in the morning. You make me laugh. You make me smile. You are the perfect third born son. I love you to the moon and back.
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Chatty
Pretend we're somewhere together, preferably comfortable like Starbucks with venti hot chocolates and we snagged the comfy chairs.
Or my living room. And all the kids are sleeping or at school. I like that better. I have homemade chocolate chip cookies and I can brew coffee or make hot chocolate. With marshmallows!
It's time to pick Kolby up from preschool, but I'm not picking him up because he isn't there. He has impetigo. So, we're home and it's the perfect day to be home. 50's, rainy and cold. I'm wearing my new comfy socks that I won at Bunco for losing the most games.
Except I dressed Annika like we were going to run errands and go to church tonight. So she looks cute. With a bow! I mean she's cute everyday even if she just wears pajamas, but today, I changed her out of her pajamas. And yes, somedays she stays in her jammies all day. And somedays I don't change her into clean jammies before I put here to bed.
My house is quiet. I made Kolby and Levi lay down for naps at 11. I wanted them to sleep so they will be awake to pick up Sage after school. And Annika fell asleep while I nursed her and I just laid her down.
I can say it's cold here. And I love it. I dressed all my kids in pants yesterday and today. I pray that this cooler weather stays and we aren't wearing shorts at Christmas.
Somedays I feel like I really suck at being a mom. Okay, a lot of days I think that. I am impatient more than patient. I am not slow to anger. It all comes back to selfishness. I want my house to stay picked up and looking clean. I don't want to wait for them to learn how to do something, I just do it myself because it's quicker. I constantly feel rushed even if we have a lot of time. I constantly feel like there is something I should be doing. Laundry. Picking up. Cleaning. Buying something. Someone usually needs something.
Even right now, I should be sweeping and mopping. Instead of writing.
Everyday, I pray for patience, calmness and to be filled with love. I pray that for the boys' teachers too. I pray it for the boys too.
And now, I can't think of anything else except that I should be sweeping, mopping, putting away laundry and picking up. I guess that's my cue to go. These opportunities are rare. I don't want to waste it. Or am I?
Or my living room. And all the kids are sleeping or at school. I like that better. I have homemade chocolate chip cookies and I can brew coffee or make hot chocolate. With marshmallows!
It's time to pick Kolby up from preschool, but I'm not picking him up because he isn't there. He has impetigo. So, we're home and it's the perfect day to be home. 50's, rainy and cold. I'm wearing my new comfy socks that I won at Bunco for losing the most games.
Except I dressed Annika like we were going to run errands and go to church tonight. So she looks cute. With a bow! I mean she's cute everyday even if she just wears pajamas, but today, I changed her out of her pajamas. And yes, somedays she stays in her jammies all day. And somedays I don't change her into clean jammies before I put here to bed.
My house is quiet. I made Kolby and Levi lay down for naps at 11. I wanted them to sleep so they will be awake to pick up Sage after school. And Annika fell asleep while I nursed her and I just laid her down.
I can say it's cold here. And I love it. I dressed all my kids in pants yesterday and today. I pray that this cooler weather stays and we aren't wearing shorts at Christmas.
Somedays I feel like I really suck at being a mom. Okay, a lot of days I think that. I am impatient more than patient. I am not slow to anger. It all comes back to selfishness. I want my house to stay picked up and looking clean. I don't want to wait for them to learn how to do something, I just do it myself because it's quicker. I constantly feel rushed even if we have a lot of time. I constantly feel like there is something I should be doing. Laundry. Picking up. Cleaning. Buying something. Someone usually needs something.
Even right now, I should be sweeping and mopping. Instead of writing.
Everyday, I pray for patience, calmness and to be filled with love. I pray that for the boys' teachers too. I pray it for the boys too.
And now, I can't think of anything else except that I should be sweeping, mopping, putting away laundry and picking up. I guess that's my cue to go. These opportunities are rare. I don't want to waste it. Or am I?
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
stream of camping
We went camping last weekend.
We didn't leave when we planned. We got there after dark. And it was cold.
Annika cried 3/4 of the drive.
I forgot ketchup, syrup, eggs and the sleepywrap.
I'm a babywearing mama who forgot her sling.
Drew had already set up the tent that morning. And then drove home.
Drew did all the work.
He set up the tent.
He blew up the air mattresses.
He rolled out the sleeping bags. Set up the pack-n-play. Laid out the pillows.
I changed the boys into warmer clothes.
Annika cried.
The boys went to bed. I laid in there with Annika to nurse her to sleep.
I ended up falling asleep too.
And then waking up at midnight FREEZING! Seriously, 40 degrees.
Saturday, Drew fixed bacon. I forgot eggs and syrup so we skipped those.
We ate hostess donuts.
The boys explored around our campsite.
The boys played baseball.
I hit a homerun.
Drew struck out.
I held Annika.
We took a walk. Taking turns who carried Annika and who took pictures.
We ate hot dogs with no ketchup roasted over the fire for lunch.
Drew took Sage and Kolby on a paddle boat.
Levi took a nap.
I read and held Annika.
Drew packed up the tent. I stuffed the sleeping bags and packed the bags back up.
He put away the camp kitchen. Took the tent down, rolled it and put it in the bag.
I rolled sweet potatoes in foil to cook in the fire.
Annika cried.
I made a tin foil dinner of ham topped with pinapple and honey.
Annika cried.
We ate dinner.
Roasted marshmallows for s'mores.
Didn't eat enough s'mores.
Packed up.
Drove home.
Sage slept.
Kolby slept.
Annika cried.
Levi talked.
We'll do it again.
Someday.
And plan better.
Camping is a lot of work.
(Sorry no pictures, I have just enough time to write this. Maybe I'll add pictures later. I want to. Life is busy.)
We didn't leave when we planned. We got there after dark. And it was cold.
Annika cried 3/4 of the drive.
I forgot ketchup, syrup, eggs and the sleepywrap.
I'm a babywearing mama who forgot her sling.
Drew had already set up the tent that morning. And then drove home.
Drew did all the work.
He set up the tent.
He blew up the air mattresses.
He rolled out the sleeping bags. Set up the pack-n-play. Laid out the pillows.
I changed the boys into warmer clothes.
Annika cried.
The boys went to bed. I laid in there with Annika to nurse her to sleep.
I ended up falling asleep too.
And then waking up at midnight FREEZING! Seriously, 40 degrees.
Saturday, Drew fixed bacon. I forgot eggs and syrup so we skipped those.
We ate hostess donuts.
The boys explored around our campsite.
The boys played baseball.
I hit a homerun.
Drew struck out.
I held Annika.
We took a walk. Taking turns who carried Annika and who took pictures.
We ate hot dogs with no ketchup roasted over the fire for lunch.
Drew took Sage and Kolby on a paddle boat.
Levi took a nap.
I read and held Annika.
Drew packed up the tent. I stuffed the sleeping bags and packed the bags back up.
He put away the camp kitchen. Took the tent down, rolled it and put it in the bag.
I rolled sweet potatoes in foil to cook in the fire.
Annika cried.
I made a tin foil dinner of ham topped with pinapple and honey.
Annika cried.
We ate dinner.
Roasted marshmallows for s'mores.
Didn't eat enough s'mores.
Packed up.
Drove home.
Sage slept.
Kolby slept.
Annika cried.
Levi talked.
We'll do it again.
Someday.
And plan better.
Camping is a lot of work.
(Sorry no pictures, I have just enough time to write this. Maybe I'll add pictures later. I want to. Life is busy.)
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