Kolby Bo

I hadn't mentioned that the pediatrician recommended that Kolby be evaluated by a physical therapist because he seemed a little delayed in his large motor skills. I didn't mention it because I didn't think it would be a big deal, I thought they would come, observe him, ask me questions and then say, he is great, I can't believe he is doing so well and he has only had the brace off for 4 months! I was very surprised when they said, well he qualifies for therapy. They seemed happy about it. I am not so happy. I am a little sad. I can't even express why. Just that, I guess I thought I would have perfect kids in every way. I wouldn't need to seek help for them and I kind of feel like it is one thing after another. First the bilateral club foot and the treatment that goes with that and now this. I didn't let myself feel when we found out about his club foot and I realized later that was a mistake, so this time I am letting myself feel and vent. I feel sad that he needs therapy that he is "slow", I feel like I failed him somehow. I should have played more with him on the floor and gotten down there with him. His speech and fine motor skills are delayed also. He should be doing the pincer grasp better and be able to hold 3 objects in his hands. He shoud be babbling mamamamama and dadadadada, but he isn't. He makes more vowel sounds and less consenant (if any) sounds. Is that because I stick his passy in his mouth all the time? I don't know. I should have been feeding him more finger foods. (Foods is a whole different post with Kolby.)

BUT

I am glad that they are doing something now and not later when it could be more difficult. I am glad that there is something and someone who can help. I am glad that I am not left on my own to deal with this. I know that God is going before us in this and I trust Him and trust His plan for Kolby and for us. I just have to keep reminding myself that I am not in control that God already knows the outcome (that makes me relax, so much) and that I have to be faithful to my big God who gives me things that I don't expect to see if I will trust Him or trust man. I am going to trust Him for this one, because I am pretty sure that I can't do it alone. And, remember my prayer for Kolby to roll? I serve a great big God that can do anything and I have another opportunity to ask, trust and see what else he has in store for my sweet Bo. See, already I feel better! God is big and mighty and He wil show that in my life and in the life of Kolby.