Thursday, January 12, 2012

It's Not My Season

I want to do it all.

I want to be everywhere.

I don't want to miss a tweet.

A party or a girls night out.

A blog post.

Or an opportunity to serve someone.

I want to be the best wife and mom.

For the last thing to happen, the others, can't, not all the time.

And which of those things are the most important to me?

The last.

Hands down.

God has put a calling on my life. To be a wife and a mother. I know that is what I'm supposed to do, it's what I've always wanted.

And He gave me the desire of my heart.

I don't want to squander it.

So, for now, my mantra is "It's not my season."

I'm quitting my bunco group.

I'm saying no to training and running a half marathon.

I'm saying no to mentoring a girl in the public school down my street.

Because I have a super, duper, most important job.

I have 4 souls to raise, 4 people to pour Jesus' love into, 4 kids to read to, do homework with, answer questions, and a million other things.

And I don't want to miss a second.

I get each of them until they are 18 years old. Sage is already 7. I only have 11 years left with him.

I used to think (still kind of do) that this is a cop out. I should be able to do the things listed above and pour into my family.

I can't. Maybe you can.

I'm calling my bluff.

I'm giving myself an out.

I'm shaking off the guilt.

And it feels freeing.

This season won't last the rest of my life. Maybe it will be shorter than I think. However long it lasts, I'm going to enjoy it.

I choose to enjoy it.


13 comments:

  1. So proud of you! You are so right! I read a quote once that said something to the effect that a woman can do it all, just not all at once! Yes, for everything there is a season...enjoy each to its fullest.
    Love,
    Mom

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  2. I wrote on a very similar theme in November! We loved your Chrismtas card, by the way! http://justusscotts.blogspot.com/2011/11/tis-season.html

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  3. I love this post. This same thing has been on my heart so much lately - especially after going to Passion! You are an awesome mom and an incredible wife!!! And you happen to be a pretty great friend too! Hang in there girl, and keep saying no - it's good for you (and for your family!)

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  4. Oh my goodness, this is so where I am right now. I CANNOT do it all. There are so many things I want to be a part of or do but I just can't handle it all. And I really, really want to do what I am doing well.

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  5. Good friend. I am glad you are feeling free. Love you much!

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  6. Thanks for this. My little part time job has been so stinking hard to keep up with lately. I'm barely making it, Joey's begging me to quit. It's hard. I keep holding out, thinking maybe it'll get easier? It breaks my heart to think of not working there. I don't know, we'll see. You're an awesome mom :)

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  7. Yup. My thoughts exactly. My favorite part: shaking off the guilt. Why does it seem like so many other moms CAN do it all? I DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL!!! So freeing. I've been thinking a lot this week about a quote from Jim Elliot, "Wherever you are, be all there." Totally struggle with that.

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  8. Love you.

    Those 5 are so blessed to call you mom and wife.

    You inspire me with your purposeful and passionate love and servants heart for your family. Just like Jesus would want you to.

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  9. I needed this too. Thank you for the reminder that "Mom" is the season right now. whoa.

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  10. Thank you for your example and conviction. Love you and your heart.

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  11. I always look at the people who I see as these perfect, amazing wives and mothers and they're also totally pouring themselves into the church.

    And then I remind myself that they can't be pouring themselves into EVERYTHING...that something has to give...and you're right...I'd rather pour it all into my 3 than to look back and wish I'd done less outside the home and more in it. :)

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