This Might Come Out All Wrong

I have this weird running commentary in my mind of what I should write. Basically, it is a running commentary of nothing.

I ate Ramen noodles for lunch. Chicken flavor. They actually sounded good. Food doesn't usually sound good. But, it left a horrible taste in my mouth. Everything leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I chew a lot of gum. And I brush my teeth a lot. When I chew gum, I have to have something to spit it out at any given moment or I might throw up. And when I brush my teeth, I might gag which makes me think I'm going to throw up. And sometimes I do. It's a good day when I don't gag while brushing my teeth.

I love Gilmore Girls. Reruns are on everyday at 4.

I can't login to Facebook. It keeps telling me I have the wrong email/password combination. So, I changed the password via the Facebook people. Last night I had a dream that some crazy person hacked my account and posted some really weird things under my name. And then I had to make my blog private and change all my email stuff. And I promptly forgot all about it this morning. I just checked my email and I don't have an email from Facebook. Any advice?

My fingernails are too long. They are annoying me while I type.

Kolby got his stiches out today. The doctor said noses heal beautifully. And to stop using neosporin. Which the ER doctor said I had to use 3 times a day so that it wouldn't dry out. And he said that was all wrong and now Kolby has a rash, a yeast infection, from using neosporin for a week. Oops. He also said it will clear up all on its own. And he does surgery on 1 lb. baby's hearts. Good to know. Also, next time we get stiches, insist on dissolvable. Tell them Dr. Bloss insists. And we all know that there will be a next time. And if they were dissolvable, it would save me the co-pay to get them out. Or in this case, 2 co-pays. Oh, yes. We went to our normal pediatrician on Monday who said they weren't ready to come out yet. And he wanted us to see a pediatric surgeon.

Sage got a retainer today. The orthodontics has already begun! He has to wear it 24 hours a day, except for eating. He has a cross bite. Every 2 days, I have to make it wider with a key. He talks really funny. And loves to tell me about it. How water goes through this line. And millk. He thinks it is really cool. And he got two cases, one for home and one for school, red, his favorite color. He's taking it for show and tell tomorrow. Well, he kind of has to.

See? Random and weird. It's all I've got.

That's Gonna Leave A Mark!

slippery sidewalk

+

brick steps

=

9 stitches.

being pappoosed in a straighjacket

+

not crying through all 9 stitches

=

3 scoops of ice cream with sprinkles

and

1 new Wall-E spinning toothbrush.

stream of conciousness

These streams of consciousness posts may be all I can handle.

My mom is here this week. Which means that after I take Kolby to preschool in the morning, I get to come home, take a nap (yes, at 8:45 in the morning) and then take a shower without thinking about what Sage and Levi are doing. Glorious.

Last night, I went to a bloggy meet up. It was my first and oh so fun. I was nervous to go, almost canceled at the last minute. But, like so many things, I'm so glad I went. The women were incredible. The chatting so fun. The food yummy. It was just what I needed.

I haven't been sleeping well at night. I have really weird, vivid dreams. Last night, I had a dream that Levi fell off some wood stairs about 15 stairs up and landed flat on his back and head. He was scooting down the wood stairs on his bottom and there wasn't a rail. He started going too fast and I grabbed his white, quilted vest (no, he doesn't own one) but it didn't help, it slid off his body, turned him around and made him fall of the edge of the stairs. I was crying, fluid came out of his ears and we went to the ER. And then I woke up.

I've been surviving. It seems like the worst of the nausea happens when Drew is home. But, my emotions are all over the place. The boys frustrate me no matter what they do. I'm not getting up earlier than them and it is really showing in my attitude for the day. I need some alone time with God before I can be a good mommy. But, I'm so tired.

I can't wait for the second trimester.

stream of conciousness

MckMama has been doing these stream of consciousness posts and I thought I would give it a try. It seems like an easy way to jump back into blogging.

I had been feeling really terrible. I almost passed out in Sunday School but thanks to my friend, Jennifer who brought me a donut and water, I didn't. Sunday night I had an episode in a parking lot of one of our favorite restaurants. It in no way reflected the food, just my current state of pregnant. Since then, I've been feeling a lot better except so tired.

I can't stand the smell of poo. I puked while changing Levi's diaper once. Now I wear a mask while I change it. I made Kolby flush before I wiped his bottom and still almost didn't hold it together. Did you want to know that?

Speaking of Kolby on the pottty, it's amazing he put his poo there today. That has been really frustrating lately. We're back to giving him a sucker every time he does it. It worked today!

Sage and Kolby have been best of friends lately. And I love it. This afternoon, Kolby was being disciplined and in the middle, right before the good part, he said "Ma, Sage my buddy?" Except it sounds more like "Ma, Age ma buhhy?"

They can also be the worst of enemies but it never lasts long. Right now, they are on the deck playing tennis. They've hit the ball over the wall 4 times and I've declared that they won't be going outside to get anymore lost balls. Now, they're sharing the one they have left.

Levi took a spill at the park yesterday and the ground won. He has scrapes under his eye, on his forhead and right under his nose. He tried to walk down a hill. I guess he isn't that great of a walker yet.

I tried to schedule Kolby's yearly appointment to check his feet for flexibility and the doctor is booked through May. I thought I was so on top of things calling in January for February or March.

Sage is getting good at his HOP (Hooked on Phonics) books. He is almost through the yellow kindergarten book. We're going to celebrate when he finishes.

Speaking of Sage, he has a cross bite and got his teeth imprinted this morning to get a retainer. A $250 retainer that he has to wear for a month. He did so well getting his teeth imprinted that the dentist rewarded him with a spinning toothbrush. She had told him that his mom would have to pay for it (he asked if he could have it) and in the end, she was so impressed with how well he listened that she wanted to give him a reward. He came home and brushed his teeth right away.

After sending Kolby back to preschool last week and not having gone over his flashcards once over Christmas break, his teacher commented on how we must have been practicing, he did so well! I love the power of God.

Have I told you our family's prayer for Kolby? We're praying that his speech is dramatically improved by May. We're praying that his speech is so improved that it will only be a God thing. And now, I'm wondering, How should I be preparing for rain? You know the parable where two farmers pray for rain but one goes out and prepares for it? So, tell me, how should I prepare for rain?

Answers

Due August 15.

About 8 weeks along.

We've known for about 3 weeks. My doctor's norm is to do a 6 week ultrasound to determine the due date. On December 23, I went alone while Drew was with the boys. She didn't see what she wanted to see (a baby), but she did see a yolk sac (the beginnings of a pregnancy). She took my blood to check my hormone levels (which were in the normal range) and set up an appointment for 2 weeks later to do another ultra sound. After telling me that if I had cramping or bleeding, it would be an emergency and to definitely call her. I didn't know what questions to ask. So, I went home and then realized what she hadn't said. "You're pregnant!"

We had planned to send out the announcement that you saw on the blog as a post card but after the initial appointment, decided to wait to announce anything until we knew what was happening.

And then, on Thursday, after seeing the baby and seeing the heartbeat and hearing it, we were so excited, so relieved that we didn't want to waste time ordering the postcard and then mailing it out. So, we announced it on the blog!

Only my brother didn't understand it! His wife had to explain it to him. And to clarify it was my oldest brother.

It was kind of a long two weeks. I had moments of complete peace. Peace that God would carry us through wherever he would take us. Peace that if this baby wasn't going to grow, God would get me through. And even moments of peace that this baby was going to grow and we looked too early. And moments where I was anxiously waiting for cramping, bleeding, something to signal the beginning of the end.

And after seeing that sweet little heartbeat and hearing it. I feel so blessed. In awe and wonderment. I know plenty of women who want to be pregnant, who have experienced loss. And this time, I get to dance around it. Avoid it. And I wonder, why me?

I don't take being pregnant, getting pregnant, lightly. I am so blessed. I want you to know that. I want you to know that I take every single one of your congratulations with a huge smile on my face. And I pray for so many of you, I can't wait to return the congratulations. And I will be thrilled for you.

We are ecstatic. The boys are excited. And I will not complain about the morning sickness. I will endure it because it too is a gift. And I know that God gives and he takes away. And I plan on blessing His name regardless of the season in which I am walking.