Cute pics

What I see in my kid rear view mirror. So sweet. Yes, I took this while driving and no, I caused no accidents...yet. However, this scene is not so sweet when Sage is yanking on Kolby's hand yelling "Holby, wake!" But I want to remember the sweet times.

Kolby and Sage. We were trying to take a picture of Kolby learning to sit up and Sage jumped right in!

"Perfect Feet"

Picture of Kolby, Dr. Thomson and Sage


And that is a direct quote from Dr. Thomson regarding Kolby's feet.

He also said that his feet might be pointed out a little too far now. I didn't ask but he didn't say that is a problem. He did change the setting. Originally they were pointed 70 degrees out, now they are 60. Kolby has to wear them at night still and Monday, Wed, and Friday naps. The naps are more so Kolby stays used to wearing them. The last couple of days he has done really well. He is enjoying being on his stomache more and rolling a little more. He doesn't know exactly what he is doing yet so doesn't do it every time. He rolled to his side when he was on his back the other day which he has never done before. Perfect feet!

Sage vs. The Duvet Cover

Sage got stuck in his duvet cover. He pulled part of the blanket out and then climbed in the hole. He was supposed to be sleeping. He started crying and I listened for a minute then decided that I should check on him. He was starting to cry pretty hard. I opened the door and tried to let my eyes adjust to the dark. I saw a form with a blanket over it and assumed that the blanket was over his head so I started pulling but it wouldn't move. I figured out that he was inside and turned the light out and got him out. I laughed just a little. Then Kolby started crying because we had woken him up. I retucked Sage in, Kolby fell back asleep and now Sage is talking to himself.

I guess I will get out his quilt instead of the duvet cover!

Why I am Not Up for Mother of the Year

I forgot to nurse Kolby this morning.

I got him out of bed, took him to the bathroom with me, got a cover for his diaper, went to the bathroom, took him back to the changing area, changed his diaper and put his clothes on. We went out to the dining room and I put him in the swing and I went downstairs to start a load of laundry and put the diapers in the dryer. I came back up and got Sage milk and eventually breakfast, made Drew and me hot chocolate, and sat down to eat with Sage. Kolby started fussing so I picked him up while I ate. He stopped fussing. I thought he seemed interested in my oatmeal and watching Sage and I eat. Then I put Boz on for Sage to watch while I showered and decided to be a good mom and not put my 6 month old in front of the tv...today. I put him in the bouncy seat in the doorway of the bathroom. When I got out of the shower, he started fussing. I picked him up. He stopped. Fast forward through 2 more loads of laundry, washing dishes, Kolby going down for a nap that he seemed to fuss longer than normal before he fell asleep, the 7 month old getting to our house, me finishing dishes, and laundry, feeding the 7 month old food and then finally then at 11, I realized I had yet to nurse Kolby. Last time I nursed him you wonder? 3:45am.

What kind of horrible mother forgets to nurse her sweet baby? ME! I totally and completly forgot. And you know what I really wonder, why can he go 7 hours during the day and not at night?

A Rare Moment

I have the house to myself! I folded laundry, made dinner, washed dishes and now get to blog!

Drew took the boys to the park, Sage riding his trike and Kolbs in the stroller. When I say riding his bike I mean, pushing with his legs as fast as he can go. Yesterday, he did use the pedals for about 50 feet. But he can go faster the other way. And then he threw a fit because he didn't want to get off the bike to walk across the street and he had to walk home. Crying all the way, still wearing his helmet while I pushed the stroller and carried the trike. Fun times.

One week and two days and Kolby will be brace free during the day. I won't have to answer questions anymore! I won't have to ignore peoples stares and pointing. I won't have to talk nicely to people who ask why he is wearing roller skates. And hopefully, Kolby will start to move! Roll and get around the floor.

And dinner is done and they are home...

A New Day

Today is a new day, a new day that the Lord has made and we can be glad.

The weather makes me glad, it is turning cool and fall like. Jeans and jackets come out of the closet but flip flops and sandals stay out. Soon, it will be time to replace them with shoes...

2 weeks from tomorrow and Kolby will be able to wear real shoes, shoes without a bar! Now to find some cute shoes to celebrate! I am so excited to balance him on my hip and wear him in the Ergo as much as possible. I am excited for him to get stregth in his legs and start to roll both ways... I am excited to see what he does with his new freedom.

Drew's birthday is Thursday and I already have a babysitter lined up so he and I can go to dinner! That is also exciting and makes me glad.

I Remember

September 11, 2001.

I was in my fifth and final year of college. I lived in an apartment with two other girls. I got ready for my 9:00 class and started to leave, my neighbor next door whom I had said hi to a couple of times opened her front door as I was locking mine. She asked if I had been watching the news. I replied no. She explained how a plane flew into the world trade center. I went back into my apartment and started to watch tv. I didn't know what to do, go to class, stay home or drive the two hours to my parents. I am embarrassed to admit that I didn't even know what the Twin Towers were. I didn't even realize the extent of what was happening. I lived in the middle of Iowa and hadn't ever been to NYC. I decided I better go to class but called home on my way. I asked my dad what I should do and he calmly replied to go to class, he was sure everything would be okay, it was just a scary time.

In my first class the mood was somber and the professor announced that the Twin Towers had fallen. Somehow, we all got through the lecture.

I was desperate to find a tv. In the Union of the campus they had set up a projector and screen and were airing the news. I watched horrified. I was surrounded by so many people and didn't know anyone in the room or anyone that lived in NYC but we were all shocked. The gravity of the situation was starting to sink in.

I went to my nannying job that afternoon and didn't watch tv again because of the kids. That night my church held a prayer service but I didn't go. The parents of the family that I nannied for went and I stayed with the kids. I remember feeling so alone and sad. I felt so alone all day surrounded by so many people who were hurting and scared and I didn't reach out to anyone.

I have always regretted not going to the prayer service. Instead, I fed 5 kids dinner and put them to bed.

Since moving to the East Coast, I have had the opportunity to visit the World Trade Center site three times. Every time is powerful and emotional. I can't hold back the tears. I don't hold back the tears. The last time I visited they had photos displayed of the scene unfolding. I walked in front of Sage so he couldn't see the terrifying photos. And then I came to one of a little girl, probably 3 or 4, on a mans shoulders and someone had placed a respirator over her face. Probably to protect her from the air, but also it protected her from seeing the horrifying images that she was living in.

I will not forget 9/11 or the people that died.

Today, 6 Months Ago

I went to my 37 week ob appointment. I found out that I was dialated to 6cm and the head was low, so low. "Let's go over what to do if you deliver this baby at home." Said the midwife. I went over the basics and then thought, no way am I allowing that to happen. This baby needs to come out now. I went about my day. Sage took a nap. I laid on the chair and contractions started. Not hard, a little painful and so I started timing. They were sporadic and not too intense. I called Drew so he would be on guard. He came home at a normal time and we decided to go to the mall for dinner and a long walk. We called our friends to be on guard so we could drop Sage off with them. We decided to take him with us for dinner and a walk. As we walked, the contractions got more intense but I never needed to stop walking through them. I wasn't convinced this was real, we got in the car and drove toward our friends house. We called the hospital and they said come on in. I was convinced, worried and upset they would send us home. The contractions had become very irregular since getting in the car. Getting farther apart. They were 5 minutes apart. We got to the hospital, she checked me and said I can't send a woman home who is 7 cm dialated. We got all checked in, laughing and joking through paperwork and being hooked up to the monitor. I was having contractions, the monitor confirmed it. Phew. Then they went to break my water. The student midwife too her turn and I have to admit, it was painful and she didn't get it. So, the expert took over and whoosh came the water. I guess it was hard because the baby's head was so far down and she didn't want to snag his head. Thanks for that. And then the most intense contractions started almost immediatly. I was laying on the bed, still hooked up to the monitor and asked how long do I have to wear the monitor? 20 minutes to make sure the contractions are coming strong. Take it off, I can't stay on the bed. Shower? Yeah, let's try that. I get out of bed, making my way to the bathroom and decide against it. I sit in the rocker and rock back and forth back and forth finding a rythm. The student midwife stayed in the room to help or watch or whatever. She said to tell her when I felt like pushing. Pushing, I thought, I haven't been having contractions for long enough. Then the next contraction I said yeah I felt like pushing with that one. Back in to bed. The real midwife telling me I shouldn't have to push, this baby should slide right out. Then saying give me one push. I pushed. Then stopped. And yelled "I AM NOT PUSHING!!" But this baby was coming out. I could feel him coming out, moving his way down. From the time I said I wanted to push to Kolby coming out? 6 minutes. 6 painful minutes.

I was ecstatic, they laid him on me. What is that matter with his feet? They wisk him to the warmer and start rubbing and diapering him. They pick up the RED phone. I look at Drew and say they are using the red phone. Almost feeling like I am not really there, like this is joke that they would use the RED phone. It calls the NICU without them dialing, meaning something is wrong with my baby. They are not supposed to use the RED phone with my baby. He is perfect. I get distracted by the pain of delivering the placenta. Then a NICU person introduces herself and explains she is there because Kolby was born with club foot. No problem, very correctable and so forth. Oh and also, Kolby is having a little bit of difficulty breathing because he came out so fast and didn't get the extra squeeze as he came out.

We get moved to our room and the move Kolby to the nursery and say they will bring him in soon. I had already nursed him and he was doing great. Then after I get my percaset (love it!) the nurse tells me he has been moved to the NICU nursery because of his breathing. But he should be fine and I shouldn't worry. I fall asleep crying because my baby isn't in my room and he has club foot and what does that mean?

The next day, I spend mostly alone in my room. Kolby is in the NICU and I go down to hold him for awhile and nurse him but it is a little sad and scary in that room. They do let me change his diapers and I am feeling better.

Drew brings Sage to see me but he can't meet Kolby. The anticipated meeting is put off until the next day. One visitor. That is how many people came to meet Kolby at the hospital. One. Our associate pastor from church. He had to track me down in the NICU.

I had so many emotions. Kolby had an IV coming out his head and his feet are pointed the wrong way. I passed another new mom in the hallway and noticed her new baby all bundled up and I could only think about his perfect feet and how my sons feet aren't perfect.

6 months. So many changes. His feet, perfect. When he doesn't have his brace on, no one would know he was born with feet pointed the wrong way. He is perfect. So happy and smiley.

When he was in the NICU, they gave him a bottle. I didn't know until I went down to nurse him. The next time I tried nursing, he had a hard time. I thought that might be the end. And then told myself to try again next time. He latched on like a pro. I even had a lactation consultant sitting there and she felt unneeded.

6 months. So many changes. He nurses so fast sometimes I am sad he is done so quickly. He eats solids. 2 meals a day.

After his 3 day appointment, they said he wasn't gaining enough weight. He had to come back in a couple days to get re-weighed.

6 months. So many changes. He weighs 20+ pounds. And still growing.

6 months. It has flown by. Half a year.

Long Time, No Post

It has been awhile, I might forget how to do this. Oh, right, just write whatever personal information I want anyone on the internet to read. Got it, will do.

Drew surprised me with a laptop! It is an Apple iBook, green. It is really old but I have always wanted a laptop for some reason and now I have it! What do I do with a laptop? I don't know, it hasn't left the computer desk yet! But, in my defense it hasn't left because the battery will die within 5 minutes and honestly, what am I going to do in the living room with a computer? I guess I could blog...

We went to Boston! I love Boston. It is my new favorite city. NYC is out, Boston is in! It is so cool, historical and beautiful. We walked the freedom trail. We just drove in for the day so we will have to go back at least once if not twice or more. I love it.

Kolby is eating two meals a day. And he is fat. Not sleeping through the night, but he did roll over the other day when he had his brace off. He was laying on his stomache having tummy time and he was trying to look at Sage or something and his big ol' head helped him roll over. We were all there and clapped and cheered and his face looked confused and startled. And then he did it a second time! He tries to roll back to tummy but only with his brace on and that gets him stuck in the middle. When his brace is off, he is just so happy to kick his legs individually. I am counting down the days until his dr. appointment and he goes to wearing it only at night. It will be so much easier to be able to balance him on my hip. He has become Mr. Mellow. He is generally very happy and smiley unless of course i want to cook dinner or shower then he is demanding and wants to be held.

Sage is talking more, putting more words together. And is still as obsessed with music as ever. He sings all the time and plays his guitar or piano. He raises his hands and sings holy and hallelujah. He loves to watch this Cornerstone music dvd everyday. Mu ddd? He asks over and over and over and over again.

Drew has started school again. I don't even want to think about how many years he has been going to school. 21. Enough said. He needs to be done. 2 more years, including this one. So far, his schedule is pretty good. He generally leave by 7 or 8 and is home around 6. He does have quite a few evening things he has to attend. And those stink because they are during the dinner hour, ending around 7 or 7:30. That makes a long day at home with the kiddos for me. By the time he gets home I am starting baths or done and getting them ready for bed. But, he has been able to do homework during the day keeping the late evenings free to do some other work, oh and spend time with me.

I have not been getting out of the house as much lately and am okay with that. Kolby is getting to the age of 2 naps a day and I hate messing up his schedule. Probably because I am a freak and not because he seems to care. Again, he is a really easy baby. I have also started babysitting a 7 month old girl on Monday and Friday mornings and Monday afternoons. So far, I have only done it once for a morning and it went okay. We just hung out and played with toys and tried to keep all babies happy. Sage enjoys singing and entertaining and the stretches aren't too long, like 3 hours so it seems like it will be manageable.

Life is pretty routine right now. I don't have anything exciting or funny stories. Oh, Sage loves cheese. He saw Drew put it on his sandwich this morning and all morning asked for cheese. Finally, lunch time. I made him a ham and cheese sandwich and blueberries and put another slice of cheese on the side. He eats the cheese, blueberries and then looks at me. I said "Eat your sandwich." He takes off the top slice of bread, picks up the slice of ham and gasps when he sees a second slice of cheese! It's the little things in life.