So, yesterday school started! Sage went to first grade. Kolby to kindergarten. I wasn't over the top emotional about Kolby starting kindergarten, maybe because Sage just started last year? And I wasn't emotional about Sage starting first grade.
I was incredibly nervous about teaching them at home 2 days a week.
Seriously, Sunday night, Drew and I sat on our dining room floor while I bawled and told him all my worries. He was really sweet and just held me. One thing he said was "If you would listen to yourself, you would realize these worries aren't really a big deal." He said it lovingly. And he was right. I might have been crying because I bought them rolling backpacks (school's suggestion) and then I worried about how they would get them up the stairs and I wouldn't be able to help them and I really shouldn't have wasted our money and maybe I should order them new backpacks. Really, I really cried over that. Mostly, I was so nervous about today, teaching them at home and what Levi and Annika would do and how I would help Kolby to focus.
And today came. I woke up at 5:15 because I knew I needed some serious time with the Lord before I started teaching my children. I pray that I keep that attitude all year because I need Him to teach through me every Tuesday and Thursday.
Only one time did I bring my hands to my cheeks because everyone was talking at once, asking a question. Much like I feel in a store when I'm trying to find something and they are all asking for something at the same time. Flustered.
But! We got through everything we were supposed to. Before lunch.
Boy, I wasn't ready for that! My adrenaline dropped and I was pooped.
God's given me grace to keep going. We even got to swim while Annika and Levi napped. It's so much more enjoyable to swim without holding Annika!
So, yes, it's the first day, but I really loved it!
I know there will be hard days, but at this moment, I can see, it will all be totally worth it.