as I walk through the mall
pushing a huge double stroller
that carries a car seat
and a screaming toddler
while my two boys follow along.
I pretend not to notice
you watching me
as my toddler screams.
I pretend his screams
don't affect me.
But they do.
I'm annoyed.
I'm frustrated.
I'm frazzled.
He's disobedient.
He's disrespectful.
He's two.
I pretend not to hear him
hoping he'll stop.
I pretend to be peaceful
hoping I will be.
I pretend to be what I'm not
hoping to become what I'm pretending.
So much of life is like that.
 | ||
| November 2009. Not much has changed. Except he's louder. |
Oh, girl!!! This is SO Cash! He is literally about to send me over the edge! I was just talking to Callie about this exact thing at dinner the other night! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this. Annabeth's volume has recently doubled and it amazes me. She spent all day having tantrums and hitting me and her brother. Awesome. Welcome, age 2!
ReplyDeleteI see you.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful mom.
A devoted friend.
A caring wife.
A serving daughter of Christ.
A mom with her hands full giving it everything you've got.
That's who I see. :)
I love you Punkin!
ReplyDeleteThis too shall pass and before you know it, Annika will be 2....
All Mamas identify with you but not all handle it with such care....I am proud of you!
(There is a saying: "Fake it 'til you make it!")
My prayers are with you!
Mom
Agh! "I pretend to be what I'm not hoping to become what I'm pretending." Yeah, I'm dealing with that right now. It's totally normal to have a hysterical breakdown at 16 weeks wailing that you're going to ruin these kids' lives and they're going to hate you, right? All because of that exact statement.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, and yes.
ReplyDeleteLOVE this.
We have those current struggles with our 4 year old. I'd have thought he'd grow out of it but the screaming is only worse.
Some day we will look back and laugh, right?
(I'm also quite certain that the old women who say, "Enjoy this time! Don't blink or you'll miss it! They grow so fast!" have somehow blocked the screaming and poop out of their memories.)
p.s. dreamt you had another girl...for what it's worth.
love it! I know I can relate to this one!!
ReplyDeleteDair's volume seems to have increased with age as well...now I ask him to cry with his lips closed and it muffles it quite a bit. It's worth a shot!
ReplyDeleteLove this. totally relate.
ReplyDeleteOh, boy. I've been in your shoes. As recently as this morning, but at the grocery store.
ReplyDeleteI love Kelli's comment. Perfectly said and utterly true.