Wednesday, September 29, 2010


I need a shower.

I want to put this baby down.

Why does Levi hit Kolby and only Kolby?

Why does Kolby cry so much? 

How do you teach self-control?

Am I going to get a shower today?

If I do get a shower, will I be able to put make up on and do something besides a pony tail to my hair?

Why is my diaper bag 8000 pounds and awkward to carry?

I have a weird bruse on the inside of my upper arm.  Maybe I have leukemia. 

I hate waking up Levi and Annika to pick up Sage.

Carrying a car seat in one arm and Levi in the other better tone my arms.

How many more minutes will Annika lay there quietly?

How many minutes will the boys ignore her crying? 

Should I buy her a different headband if the one she has leaves marks on her head?

How much is too much to pay for bows? 

What's the perfect diaper bag?

Maybe having a baby doesn't make me think deeply. 

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Maybe having a baby makes me think deeper...

Seriously, so many thoughts rushing through my head.  I've been reading Radical by David Platt along with Marla.  I can call her my friend.  I met her last January.  Anyway.

Did you know that there isn't a place in the Bible where it says to bow your head and pray to ask Jesus into your heart? 

I guess I did.  But I never really thought about it.  Jesus says "Come, follow me."  He tells us to give up everything for him.  E.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. Kids, husbands, parents, brothers, sisters, stuff.  Everything. 

Do I?  No.  Have I?  No.  Will I?  I really want to.

I want to live radically.  I want to be able to give up everything. 

Part of me thinks that if I'm willing, God just might call me out on that.  And then what? 

I'd really have to trust him. 

My heart and flesh are so weak. 

I can only do anything by the grace of God. 

Everyday, I realize more and more how I can't do anything without the grace and love of God in me to do the work through me. 

Because me, by myself?  Am selfish and prideful.

And that's why I need Him.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

stream of conciousness

I have so little time for myself these days.  How do I forget the newborn days of holding a baby, rocking, nursing and slinging a baby all. day. long.  Somedays when I finally lay her down for bed around 10ish, I try to think of how many times I've actually laid her down that day.  It is usually not many.

But today! I just got Annika to lay down for a nap and Kolby and Levi are also napping.  I don't know how I did it.  She might be sleeping in a dirty diaper but I won't tell. 

I went to the ER last weekend because I broke out in hives.  From a fire ant bite.  I was flipping out.  I am normally calm and can handle a crisis but I was totally and completely flipping out.  My fingers and wrists were swelling so much that it hurt to bend them.  That's when the nurse told me to go to the ER.  Long story short, I now carry an epi pen.  I'll be tested for fire ant allergies in 2 weeks and supposedly can be cured within 2 - 3 years receiving some shots.  I have no idea how it works.  And I felt really bad for Kolby when he reacted to his shot.  It was awful.  Not something that I want to repeat again.

I have thought of so many things to write about but just don't have the time.  And now that I'm sitting here at my computer in a quiet, messy house with laundry that needs folding and put away, listening to the baby on the monitor stirring and hoping she's not waking up yet and looking at the clock counting down the minutes until I need to wake everyone up to go pick up Sage and I can't think of a thing to write.

Apparantly, I'm still in the mushy baby brain stage.  I can't say that I ever really came out of that stage.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Love Mercy

I don't know where to begin.  I don't know what to tell you.

I've had a stirring in my heart for quite some time.  A stirring to do more.  Do more for the widows, the orphans and the poor.  Like Jesus commands.

Sure, we sponser two Compassion kids.  But, it's not enough.  We can do more.

There is a ministry that is in the beginning stages, called The Mercy House . My friend (I use that term loosely, I met her once at a blog meet up dinner and haven't spoken to her since!) went to Kenya.  And from that trip, God stirred a passion inside her for Africa.  So, she's obeying what God has laid on her heart.

Her family is starting The Mercy House .

Please go to their site and click around.  

What is it?  A maternity house for pregnant girls in Kenya.

Why?  Because every 30 minutes a girl is raped in Kenya.  Because mothers often sell their daughters bodies for food for the family.  Becasue 26,000 girls die from an infection from having an illegal abortion.

The Vision:

Provide a safe place-a guarded home with six maternity beds
Prenatal Care-vitamins, checkups
Proper Nutrition-protein and regular meals
Counseling-post abortion/prostitution
Ministry-prayer, Biblical teaching
Skills-jewelry, soap, sewing (future products will be sold here)
A nurturing environment in-which to give birth
A safe place to stay and learn and heal until they graduate from the program
A fund to start small business or go to school

I'm excited about this.  I want you to be excited about this too!  Please, go visit The Mercy House and see if the Lord stirs your heart.  And then answer that stirring. Or just go look around.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Happy Birthday Drew!

Today is a big birthday for Drew.  He's turning 20-10.  He says he has felt thirty for a long time, so he's glad it's finally here.  Having 4 kids before you're 30 might do that!

Drew is the best husband.  He doesn't seem to ever get annoyed by me.  Even when I'm reallly trying to annoy him!   

He is so wonderful with the boys and so sweet with Annika.  He calls her beautiful already and has taught the boys to say the same.  Seriously, so sweet to hear Levi say "Hello booiful."  Melt your heart.  And melt it again knowing he's copying his daddy. 

He makes me laugh even when I'm not feeling like laughing. 

He makes me feel beautiful even when I'm not feeling beautiful.

He makes me want to pursue Christ more and deeper because he is doing it.

He makes me want to do more than my best raising our kids together. 

He makes me feel like nobody can do what I do.

He provides every need and a whole lot of our desires.

He loves to give. 

He likes to explore with our family. 

He's ready for adventure. 

He comes home and is a dad and husband after a really long day of work, he always has more to give us.

And then he works a little more after the kids are in bed. 

He's the best. 

Love you Drew!

Thanks James and Judy for raising such a great son.  Thanks Judy for birthing him 30 years ago today!

Thursday, September 02, 2010

A List

My mind is mushy. 

I blame the baby.

So, a post, in list format.

1.  We changed our minds.  Kolby's going to pre-school.  I talked to the director and the teacher and feel better about that.  After we changed our minds, I bought him bigger underwear.  And since then, he hasn't pooped in his pants once.  Go figure.

2.  At Sage's school, hot lunch is $2, including milk.  That seems really cheap to us, is it?  We made a deal with him that he can buy lunch twice a week and I'll pack a lunch 3 times a week.  I really love the days he buys lunch.  He also has to take a snack since lunch is at 10:50!

3.  We've got the routine of Sage going to school and next week, we add Kolby.  Sage gets dropped off at 8 and Kolby's school starts at 9.  Um, what am I supposed to do for an awkward hour?  That really isn't an hour after you drive to Kolby's school.  It's going to make driving through McDonald's to get a mocha frappe way too easy.  I love those.

4.  Kolby started speech yesterday.  He'll go Tuesday and Friday.  Those days are going to be rough.  Levi will either get no nap or very little. 

5.  I was thinking woe is me with all the dropping off and picking up I'll be doing and how much it's going to mess with naps for my littles.  And then I remembered it's only a phase.  This is the only year it will be like this.  Remind me of that, kay?

6.  I started reading Radical by Dave Platts last night.  It already started messing with me.

7.  The heat is bringing me down.  It puts me in a bad mood and causes me to research jobs in Alaska for Drew.  Okay, not really, not Alaska, but seriously, the humidity is oppressing me.

8.  Annika is all kinds of cute. 

9.  I get some sleep.  Some nights are better than others.  She sleeps in her bassinet next to our bed and usually makes her way in our bed.  I can't be bothered to sit up to nurse her in the night.  I wake up occasionally and switch sides with her.  So, I really don't know how long or how much she is eating in the night.  See number 3 and my new love of mocha frappe. 

10.  Seriously, she is the cutest.  She is also an amazing pooper and spitter.  She's pooped on me twice.  And she spits up a lot.  Usually getting more on me than herself.