Saturday, October 16, 2010

Fluke or a Big Joke

Annika slept through the night last Monday (yes, it's been that long since I started writing this) night.  And when I say slept through the night, I mean all the way.  10:30 to 8:00am.

I know!  I couldn't believe it!  She's my first baby to sleep through the night so young. 

I think it was a fluke or a big joke.  It was, she hasn't done it, nor come close again.

Maybe she did get switched at birth. 

That (Monday night) evening I had 31 minutes in which I didn't have to hold her.  I knew time was limited so I was scrambling to do something I enjoyed.

It was enought time to do nothing.  And I didn't enjoy it enough.

She's kind of high maintance.  During the day, she likes to be held.  A lot.  Kind of all the time.  She'll only sleep, in my arms.  She'll only look around happily, in my arms.

It doesn't help that almost every afternoon is spent waiting somewhere for someone.  The opportunities for her to sleep in her bed and not on me are few.

And I know that someday, I'm going to miss this.

But right now, I miss being by myself.  I miss coming here and writing something, anything. 

And then I feel guilty.  Guilty for not wanting to hold my sweet girl. all. the. time.

Guilty for wanting some time away from my sweet baby.

Guilty that the time she sleeps in her bassinet isn't enough for me.

I crave more time alone.

Changing topics:  I want to make my pictures, unclickable.  A friend linked to this but it is different than what my html code is for my pictures.  Anyone want to help me out?  

Thanks Grandma for our shirts!  (Kolby's matching shirt was in the wash)

Catching a smile before church last Sunday.

Kolby wanted in on the photo shoot. 


  1. On my old software that I used to upload my photos, you could not click on my blog photos and make them bigger but when I uploaded something with Picasa the other day, you could click it and make it bigger. Not sure if that makes a difference but it's a thought. . .

  2. I want to give you are big hug.

    You are not allowed to feel guilty.

    We need a girls dinner.

    And I emailed you about the pictures.

    And you have the four cutest kids in the world.

    Love them.

  3. Thanks for the updates and the pictures! I personally like them clickable:)

    Did I forget to tell you that the fourth child can be rather high maintenance? Sorry Punkin....
    (Oh, but they are so worth it!

    Love always,

  4. I love the pics! Annika is getting so big already and I swear I will get your baby gift sent before Christmas at least:) Callie was pretty high maintenance at first but around 2 months she outgrew it and was super smiley and super content so I hope Annika does that for you:)

  5. Oh Annika giggle in her eyes reminds me of Sophia. I love the fun bows. I think she needs a pink hawkeye shirt!

  6. love the picts. Great looking kids. Especially love the bow! And don't feel guilty. Both my girls were high maintenance..always wanted to be held, etc. You need some "sanity" time, too. Take care, friend!

  7. Your lineup is adorable. Love the pink bow and her dress with the buttons.

    I get that guilty feeling, too.


  9. But right now, I miss being by myself. I miss coming here and writing something, anything.

    And then I feel guilty. Guilty for not wanting to hold my sweet girl. all. the. time.

    Guilty for wanting some time away from my sweet baby.

    Guilty that the time she sleeps in her bassinet isn't enough for me.

    I crave more time alone.


    Isn't this, like, the mother's manifesto? I was just commenting to someone that it seems like it should be a little more "spread out"...on one hand is the harried mother, trying to get it all done and feeling guilty for wanting 10 seconds alone, and then on the other is the smiling grandmother in the grocery store, with lots of empty time, saying things like, "Oh, they stay little for such a short time!"

    I know for sure that will be us saying that one day, but MAN if being mom to young kids isn't hard! And you've got twice as many!

    Extend yourself some grace. And plop her in that crib, let her cry, and go read a book.

    Am I horrible?

  10. hi kiki! found your blog thru a comment on baby bangs! love it...have laughed hard! will be back...


    (but my neice calls me aunt kiki!)


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