Fluke or a Big Joke

Annika slept through the night last Monday (yes, it's been that long since I started writing this) night.  And when I say slept through the night, I mean all the way.  10:30 to 8:00am.

I know!  I couldn't believe it!  She's my first baby to sleep through the night so young. 

I think it was a fluke or a big joke.  It was, she hasn't done it, nor come close again.

Maybe she did get switched at birth. 

That (Monday night) evening I had 31 minutes in which I didn't have to hold her.  I knew time was limited so I was scrambling to do something I enjoyed.

It was enought time to do nothing.  And I didn't enjoy it enough.

She's kind of high maintance.  During the day, she likes to be held.  A lot.  Kind of all the time.  She'll only sleep, in my arms.  She'll only look around happily, in my arms.

It doesn't help that almost every afternoon is spent waiting somewhere for someone.  The opportunities for her to sleep in her bed and not on me are few.

And I know that someday, I'm going to miss this.

But right now, I miss being by myself.  I miss coming here and writing something, anything. 

And then I feel guilty.  Guilty for not wanting to hold my sweet girl. all. the. time.

Guilty for wanting some time away from my sweet baby.

Guilty that the time she sleeps in her bassinet isn't enough for me.

I crave more time alone.

Changing topics:  I want to make my pictures, unclickable.  A friend linked to this but it is different than what my html code is for my pictures.  Anyone want to help me out?  

Thanks Grandma for our shirts!  (Kolby's matching shirt was in the wash)

Catching a smile before church last Sunday.

Kolby wanted in on the photo shoot.