We're Back!

We went to North Carolina last week to visit my brother and his family.

We had so much fun.

Skateboarding.

Tree swinging.

Trampoline jumping.

No ER visits.

We have no food.

Lots of laundry.

Kids begging for Christmas decorations to be put up.

And awesome memories.

Sage asked many times if we could move to Uncle Brad's house.

I'd say that means it was a pretty successful week.

Magical Horse Drawn Carriages

Levi doesn't really like me anymore.

If Drew is around, he dives for him.

If Drew gives him to me, he cries.

My only redeeming times of the day are bedtime and in the middle of the night when he wants to nurse.

That might be the exact reason that I am not trying all that hard to wean him totally.

I need those snuggles and loves from him.

Speaking of weaning. Oh, you weren't? Hm, you don't have to read.

Levi easily dropped the 11ish am nursing and will take a bottle wonderfully for that. Most days, he will also take one around 4. But sometimes, he throws this fit and squirms his body into The Position.

I haven't even tried bedtime, middle of the night or first thing in the morning.

I keep praying that he will sleep through the night with no work on my part. And by work, I mean listening to him cry. Do you think that could happen?

Maybe you shouldn't answer that. I might not be ready for honest answers.

Seriously, for my other two, around age one, they just started sleeping through the night. So, he has turned the magic age. But the pumpkin is still a pumpkin, it hasn't turned into a horse drawn carriage.

Maybe when he's two.

My Wallet is a Little Lighter

Kirsten is on her way.

What can I say? The people have spoken. And they spoke very convincingly.

Even Drew said I should order it.

In fact, he told me last night that I should order it. And he almost ordered it today but didn't want to impose on my convictions. Is he not the sweetest?

I love my husband.

Spew of Confessions

I get the American Girl Doll catalog.

I look at it.

They are retiring Kirsten.

I want it.

I did not order it.

I was very tempted.

How is my future daughter supposed to have a fulfilling childhood without a Swedish American Girl doll?

Drew pointed out that my future daughter will quite possibly not be coming from my womb. So, she won't look like me. Or have Swedish blood.

I still kind of want it.

I wouldn't display her. I would just know I had her.

That is pathetic. All of it. I disgust myself. How materialistic can I be?

You didn't fool me this time, American Girl.

I don't need Kirsten to be happy. Kirsten will not give me a fulfilling life.

Dear Sage,

I'm proud of you. I want you to always know that. I will always be proud of you. You are my son.

I'm proud of the way that you were always excited for soccer practice.

I'm proud of the way that you tried new things when Coach told you.

I'm proud of the way that you interacted with the other boys.

I'm proud that you were presented with opportunities to turn the other cheek.

I'm proud that you are learning to do that.

I'm proud that you have self-control.

Last night, is a night you will probably remember into adulthood. It is a night that I won't soon forget. My heart hurts for you, buddy. I want you to know that. I wish that it wouldn't have happened. I wish that the trophies would have gotten double checked. I wish that there were nine total instead of eight. I wish that your name didn't get left off the list. I wish I didn't have to hear you ask "Why is my trophy smaller?" and "Does this one say Sage on it, like the others?" I wish I didn't have to explain to you that mistakes happen.

My heart hurts when I think about how excited you were all day for that one evening. An evening that wasn't totally ruined, it just didn't turn out the way it should have. Man will fail us. God will not.

1 Corinthians 9:25 "Everyone who competes in the game goes into strict training. They do it to get a prize that will not last; but we do it to get a prize that will last forever."

Press on for the trophy that will last!

I love you to the moon and stars, back to earth, back up and back down again.

Love,

Mama

Levi ~ 12 Months

20 lbs. 15 oz {10 - 25%} you little peanut!

30 and 1/4 inches {75 - 90%} I mean string bean!

size 3 Pampers

size 4 Huggies overnights

size small Fuzzi Bunz {yes, still!}

size 12 month clothes, with some 18 month thrown in but rolled up

size 12 - 18 month shoe

has six teeth, 2 bottom and 4 top

drinks two (sometimes) 5 ounce bottles a day

nurse 3 or 4 times a day: 3 or 4am, upon awakening, before bed and sometimes late afternoon

squats from a standing position and stands back up again

loves to take things out of cupboards and drawers

and relocate items

favorite rooms in the house: bathroom and kitchen

says uh-oh

waves bye-bye or nigh-night

raises arms for "so big"

gives air kisses and real kisses, complete with smacking noise

loves his ugly doll

walks really well

crawls really fast

climbs up stairs

repeats sounds like bababa or papapa

knows how to annoy his brothers

throws incredible fits

makes truck and gun noises

growls

gives the sweetest, best hugs

cries every time I drop him off in the nursery and then is completely happy

naps once a day for about an hour and a half

makes me want more babies

Happy Birthday Levi!

I have so many words floating around in my head and no time to sit down and let them flow out. I doubt there would be much flowing, right now, more like lava erupting from a volcano. Not pretty or coherent.

I want to write more. I will write more about this sweet boy.

He loved the cupcake! As if you can't tell. He was the perfect one year old devouring it. I can't believe he's one.

Now, I'm going to go cry. Or get all three boys to the tennis court for Sage's first lesson. Probably the second option.

Funny Things I Saw at the Mall

Standing in line at Chick Fil-A, a teenage boy with long blue hair, holding a Hot Topic shopping bag, wearing a black shirt, black jeans and black underwear with holes in it. How do I know he had holes in his underwear? Because he was kind enough to wear his pants right below his butt cheeks and his shirt right above his black underwear.

Would it have been kind of me to point out that his glaring whiteness was showing to the whole world?

I didn't. Okay, it wasn't funny, haha, more funny eewww.

Then I saw a mom driking from her son's sippy cup. And she saw me watching her. I smiled knowingly. It was our little secret. And now, it's the internets little secret.

Happy Friday!

Finally A Halloween Picture

I try to be a good mom and plan ahead for things. I decided Sage and Kolby were going to be Super Sage and Super Kolby. We already had capes and masks so I searched for a super suit. I found blue long underwear that I thought would be perfect.

Sage had requested to be a knight but he wasn't upset when we talked about Super Sage and seemed genuinely excited.

Halloween Day: Sage and Kolby are excited to be Supers and to go trick or treating for the first time. Sage mentions that he would really love to be a knight.

20 minutes before we are to leave for our friends house: I whisper to Drew that I feel bad that Sage isn't a knight and that he has had such a good attitude about being Super Sage. We decide to switch it up. We have the knight stuff from a Christmas gift, so we find it and announce that Sage can be a knight.

Then we ask Kolby if he wants to be Super Kolby, a firefighter or an astronaut (all costumes we own). Astronaut. Figure out that the zipper is broken. Firefighter it is!

Levi was a frog. He didn't care and even kept the hood on the whole night.

The helmet doesn't fit Sage, he held it for the picture only and then ditched it. A lot of people commented how he was a Christian soldier because this was an armor of God set.


Oh, Levi. He rode in the stroller the whole time. He was so good.

The boys loved trick or treating. Sage was running between houses. Kolby walked a while and then would ride and then walk to the door and then ride to the next house.

We let them eat candy for breakfast Sunday morning and for dinner. I offered food both times but didn't get any takers. I am so tired of getting asked about when they can have candy.

Week Wrap Up

Kolby started school.
And he and Levi got to wear matching sweatshirts that Kolby and Sage used to wear.

He loves it and I didn't cry.

The second day, they had a Fall Festival and he got to wear a costume.
The teacher told me he chose to wear the dinosaur costume out of her stash. Whatever.

And the third day, he had school pictures. A pretty exciting first week. He got cd's to listen to at home and it is so cute to hear him sing along with them.

And, Levi has started walking! He's taken seven steps in a row. We're trying to get it on video but it's proving slightly difficult. He has also climbed up on a chair. He's only done it once, just enough to keep my on my toes!

Sage is getting better at reading. He and I are doing Hooked on Phonics. Let's just say, it gives me an opportunity to practice patience. Excruciating patience. And kindness.

A Little Bit About Me

...As if you needed to know more!

Amanda has this up today, so I thought I would copy. If you do, let me know!

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while your blogging?
M & M’s, plain. Sometimes peanut when I want some protein.

2. What is one thing you wouldn't want to live without?
Non-spiritual, non-emotional answer: Mascara

3. Beach, Mountains, or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice?
A vacation for just Drew and I- beach. For the fam- any. To live forever? Farm. And that says a lot since I told Drew I never wanted to be a farmers wife (something that needed clarifying growing up in Iowa).

4. What's your least favorite chore/household duty?
Toilets. Especially since I now have two small standers.

5. Who do people say you remind them of?
If they know my mom, they say her. In college I was told I look like Gwyneth Paltrow and I keep clinging to that.

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying home with the fam?
Both, everyone needs a good variety.

7. What's your all time favorite movie?
I can’t say it is my all time favorite because that is a huge commitment but Fever Pitch or Sweet Home Alabama. Maybe Legally Blonde.

8. Do you sleep in your make-up or remove it like a good little girl every night?
50/50. It depends on how tired I am. Or lazy, whichever way you want to see it.

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you've never had a chance to learn? What is it?
No hidden talents. I’ve always wanted to learn to play the violin and then move to the fiddle. I love me some bluegrass.

10. What's one strange thing you're really good at?
Nothing, comes to mind. Unless you count having unusually long toes that I can make go up and down every other one.

11. What first attracted you to your spouse?
He’s hot.

12. What is something you love to smell?
Chocolate Chip Cookies baking. Or Harvest Yankee candle.

13. Tell something about you that you know irritates people.
Like I irritate people.

14. When you have extra money, what's the first thing you think to do with it?
Go shopping.

15. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?
Both. Drew makes me laugh the hardest especially the later it is at night.

16. Where is your favorite place to shop?
I've always been very loyal to the Gap. And I shop quite a bit at Target. Because I’m there.

17. What's one thing you'd do more often if you had more time?
Sleep.

18. Are you a big spender or frugal?
Spender.

19. Who is your favorite character of all time?
Emma from Jane Austen.

20. Would you want to be famous?
Nope. Too much work and not satisfying.

What are some or all of your answers?

All About Kolby

Kolby starts communications class this week. It's basically preschool with a huge emphasis on speech. I'm so excited for him. And so sad to be sending him to preschool. Sure, he's gone to Mothers Day Out, but that's different. That's at church. It's glorified childcare. This. This is different.

I'm being brave and excited for Kolby. We talk about how much fun he's going to have. The new friends he'll make. How nice his teacher is.

It's even more real than it was when we realized it was real.

He'll do so great. I just know it.

Dr. Ponseti died last week. I never met him. I wish that I could have. I have a lot of respect, gratefulness, and love for this man.

Kolby was born with bilateral club foot. The doctor that treated him in Connecticut was trained by Dr. Ponseti.

Because of Dr. Ponseti's tireless research, patience and implementation, my Kolby can walk easily. He can run and jump. I've thanked Dr. Thomson but I never got to thank Dr. Ponseti.

Thank you, Dr. Ponseti. Words can not do justice to the gratefulness in my heart to you. Because of your work, my child can live a totally normal life. How can I say thank you for that?



**If for some reason, you read this post because your child has club foot and you have questions or just want to talk to someone about it, email me through my about me page. I would love to talk with you.

Friend

This word, friend. Such a simple word, so much implication.

Caring.

Loyal.

Dependable.

Do you call people your friend? Do you reserve it for when you introduce them to someone? This is my friend, Bob. Or do you call them, Friend?

Calling someone Friend, like "Thanks, friend!" or "Good to see you, Friend." is new to me. I've been mulling it over since I moved to this strange land and first heard someone say it. And then I got called Friend! That was a good day.

It flows off my mouth a little more easily these days. But, when I hear it, I still smile inside. I hope I never lose that smile. I don't ever want to take for granted being someone's friend.

Try it. Say it someone today. See how it makes you feel. See if it brings a smile to their face.

"Thanks for leaving me a comment today, Friend."

Wednesday

Watching my boys hard at play

Makes everything okay.

Blocks was the game

Knocking down brother's tower was the claim to fame!

2009 Welcomes Our Family

We got a DVR.

TV can be paused, recorded, and fast forwarded. Who knew?!

Drew scheduled the man to come between 5 and 8 on Tuesday night. I leave for Bible study about 6 so he thought it would be perfect for him to come while I was gone.

He came at ten to five.

Of course.

Levi just woke up from a nap and wanted to be nursed. Dinner needed to be made. I was wearing a cute shirt with Nike shorts. There was a sea of toys on the living room floor.

I looked ridiculous, the baby was crying, and the boys were fighting. And when you took a step, you risked either bodily harm or breaking a toy.

He came in and confirmed that the man who came on Friday did not give us a DVR box but a cable box. And went back to his truck to get the DVR box.

I threw toys in bins and called the living room good enough.

Then I had to show him how to prop open the tv cabinet door with a pillow because it likes to close.

Levi was getting more and more antsy. Toys were not distracting him.

I pulled out my Hotsling pouch and figured out how to nurse him while he was in the pouch. I didn't want to sit down, partly exposed and fight Levi with the cover. I envisioned many things going wrong in that scenario.

I have to admit that I was proud of myself for figuring it out so quickly. And I am pretty sure he didn't have a clue. And if he did, eh, oh well.

The Office was recorded as we put the kids to bed.

And all is right with the world.

A Birthday Wish

Amanda was one of my first friend here. I'm embarrassed to admit how I met her, but here it goes.

Last August, it was the great day of class change for the kiddos at church. Amanda was in line waiting to find out which room her son was assigned. As I walked out, I saw her and recognized her from her blog. "It's a big church," I thought, "I should say something." I mustered all the courage I could muster. And said "I read your blog, just wanted to say hi."

I don't remember what she said. I'm sure it was kind and polite because, that's Amanda.

It turns out, church isn't that big. I kept seeing her. Except I didn't think she remembered me. So I never said anything again.

Fast forward to October. The Womens Retreat.

I didn't stay at the hotel because me, Levi (still baking) and someone I hadn't met, weren't about to sleep in a double bed together. It was a short drive home anyway.

The second day of the retreat I got there late. My friends from Sunday School were going to save me a spot but there was a mix up right as I walked in and there wasn't a seat for me. There was a seat at the next table. Amanda's table. I felt like such a dork.

But I mustered up all my courage and went to that table. All the girls were very kind and chatted with me even though I was the only one that didn't go to their Sunday Bible study.

After that, we chatted whenever we saw each other and became friends pretty quickly.

I think Amanda and Curtis were the first people to invite us to go out to eat after church. We couldn't say yes fast enough.

Over the last year or so, I've come to respect and love the grace, charm, wit and encouragement that she is to everyone that she meets. She's real and lives life fully to please God. I love living life with her around.

Happy Birthday Amanda!

I get it now.

I get it. I understand what my mom always said about feeling perpetually behind.

I just can't do everything and be caught up on everything.

Toilets get dirty right after I clean them. Laundry is always being made. The floor never stays crumb or dirt free. Food gets eaten. The garbage overflows.

I'm fighting a battle that never ends. There isn't a cease fire. There is no time out. There is no break.

When I sit down, the cheerios don't get picked up, the toys don't get put away, the laundry doesn't get switched from the washer to the dryer and folded.

I have things that I need to get done that aren't on my weekly to do list like switch the boys' clothes out. This is no small task. It requires a lot of piles. And a baby that doesn't crawl over to those piles and pull them all apart. And it would be helpful to not have Sage around either. He remembers his clothes and wants to wear them. Kolby is just happy to have clothes that fit. He usually keeps exclaiming "Age?!" (Kolby speak for Sage).

I kid you not, he wore a pair of size 4 pajamas to bed last night. The pants hit right below his knees and the sleeves right below his elbows. And they were flannel. For the overnight low of 65.

So imagine a lot of piles, that get unfolded and dragged around the room, a 5 year old who wears a size 6 putting on a lot of size 4 clothing and Kolby watching it all unfold. Pun intended.

Every weekend I have the same conversation with Drew. I don't know how other mothers do it. Our house is a constant disaster, laundry barely gets folded usually to sit on the ground outside the appointed room for a couple of days before it actually makes it into drawers, there is a constant crumb trail on the floor, and nothing ever seems to make it back to its place.

I have a mess of homeschool stuff that doesn't have a home that I use everyday.

And I rarely get enough time to recharge my battery. Know what I mean?

I'm not trying to complain. I'm just trying to express where I'm at in life.

Buried.

Craving Chocolate

I've been in a bit of a bad mood lately. Maybe you've noticed. I'm pretty sure my husband has. I've been down and just haven't snapped out of it. I've spent time in the Word and praying. But I just feel like yuck.

We're still struggling through potty training Kolby. Number 2 is holding out on us. The only way I mean that is that he poops in his underwear more than half the time. If he hasn't, most likely, it is because I noticed The Look and got him to the potty. But, I know he can do it. I know he can. He's done it. Just last week, after a nap, he went to the bathroom, unprompted and did his business and tried to wipe. I wasn't even around. I just happened to check on him. He was even wearing a pull up for his nap. And I am beyond frustrated with it. I'm so over it. He's 3.5. I mean, really. At this rate, he won't be fully potty trained for his high school graduation.

Levi doesn't quite sleep through the night. We have good nights, like last night where he woke up at 3:23 and I nursed him and he was back in his bed by 3:49. And we have bad nights like the uncountable nights before.

And he bit me today. HARD. While nursing. I yelled very loudly and then sat him down away from me. He cried and crawled over to me. I picked him up and he laid his head on my shoulder. He hasn't bitten in so long, but this one was so hard. I still shudder a little thinking of the pain.

I've also been going through the book Shepherding A Childs Heart by Ted Tripp with some women. And I feel like I am struggling with parenting. It is a tiring, impossible process that never ends. I feel like everything I do is wrong. And that I continue to mess up my kids. It is only by the grace of God that they will grow up. I just want to do things right. But my sinful nature keeps getting in the way. I'm selfish. So selfish. So are they. It isn't a great combination.

All that to say, I really wanted some chocolate today. So I made this cake.

Chocolate Cream Cheese Pound Cake

1 box chocolate fudge cake mix
8 oz. cream cheese
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup veg. oil
1/4 cup sugar
4 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup chocolate chips (optional)

Spray bundt pan with Bakers Joy. Put all ingredients except chocolate chips in a bowl and beat on low for one minute. Scrape sides of bowl then beat two minutes on medium speed. Add chocolate chips and stir. Pour in pan. Bake at 325 degrees for one hour. Remove and let cool for 20 minutes. Invert on platter and eat with strawberries, raspberries and whipped cream or plain.

Want a piece?

A Story by Sage

To bring some structure and order to our days, I ordered the Five in A Row curriculum. The gist is to read one book, five days in a row, learning different things from the book each day.

This week we are reading Lenitl by Robert McCloskey. Lentil takes place in Ohio so we looked at the map and talked about how far away Ohio is and how Ohio is that state that Grandma was born. Yesterday, we talked about literature. Specifically, the five things that make a good story.

Setting the Stage
Conflict
Rising Action
Climax
Denouement

I talked to Sage about what he thought the conflict was in the story and he correctly answered Old Sneep. Old Sneep didn't like Colonel Carter who was coming home and everyone was making a big fuss over him.

We talked through the other elements and then I asked Sage to write a story. More specifically, tell me a story and I'll write it down.

Here it is word for word: (I didn't change any of the grammar)

Once there were two little boys whose names were Sage and Kolby. They went to the fair. They had a lot of fun because they got cotton candy and ice-cream. They got to do the horsie ride and the carousel.

And then they accidentally went on to the real carousel with the real horsies. And they went into the zoo where you need to try to do the tricks on the animals. They were really scared to do the horsie one because you were supposed to try to make the horsies flip over.

(Pretend the horsies are right here and the seals right here in the picture, real close together.)

You needed to try to make the seals jump out with you on them and dive back in to get out. And then they went through the main gate.

They decided to go back home. But Kolby said "No, let's stay here all night, let's stay here all night!" Sage said "No, you will be alone because I'll leave to home without you." And then Kolby decided to make Sage stay there all night because they actually had dogs that you could buy and they got to buy one of those dogs.

The End.

I Don't Wash Windows

I had kids.

Kids, who apparantly get a little silly sometimes.

Disclaimer- it was just water. But this is a great way to get almost half of my windows clean!