Kolby had another bronchial infection this week. Yesterday was spent at the doctors office where they threatened sending me to the ER to admit Kolby. He was breathing too fast, 60ish breaths per minute, a healthy baby would be 30ish breaths per minute. They ended up sending me home with more breathing treatments, this time an inhaler made for babies, way easier than the nebulizer! It only takes 2 minutes, literally instead of 15. He does cry through it but he doesn't fight it. Last night, he had a fever and his breathing was really fast again. We almost took him to the ER but the on-call ped. was so great. He told me to give him Tylenol, that with a fever, babies will breath fast anyway, so Kolby kind of had a double whammy going. The fever came down, his breathing went to high 40s, low 50s so we stayed home and woke up every four hours for treatments. We were all in bed by 8:30 last night! The bummer thing the ped. said at the dr. office was, let's hope this doesn't turn in to asthma. Hopefully, we are on our way to mending and we can keep his breathing under control. I can start to wean him from the inhaler when i think he is ready and then keep giving him doses as long as he is coughing.
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Kolby is almost 11 months old, February 9 is just around the corner. He signed "all done" today. I think he has done it before but today it was after lunch, when i asked if he was all done. He is so cute. I can't even describe it! I am sad that he is almost a year. My baby is growing up way too fast. I like having a baby. He is growing up so fast and yet, not as fast as Sage did. I remember when Sage was 10 months feeding him thinned peanut butter sandwiches and he had 4 teeth. Oh! Kolby finally got a tooth over Christmas! So, my baby is more of a baby than Sage was at his age but I still don't want him to get bigger. I had weaned Sage by this age. I am not really ready to start thinking about weaning Kolby yet. It doesn't hurt anymore and it is easy and we both enjoy it. I like that cuddle time with him. I used to be so excited for March to get here so I could wean him, now I am thinking that might not happen.
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I love being a mom to 2 boys. i was doing the dishes, Sage was riding his trike around the dining room table in circles and Kolby was playing on the floor, scooting himself backwards into the desk and I looked at them and thought "I love being their mom, I love that I have 2 kids, 2 boys. They are so much fun!"
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I can't wait to have more babies, more kids. No, mom, this is not an announcement, I just know our family isn't complete, we aren't done yet. I kind of think it would be nice to keep going, not take a break and get out of the baby, diaper cycle but Drew would like to wait until he is done with school and has a job. No idea why. JK. So, it also makes me a little sad that I won't have a baby for a while, if all goes as planned, which we are so great at planning our kids.
That's it, all my random thoughts that aren't long enough for a post individually and I just had to get out.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Tales from the Trip
My New Year hasn't started off so smooth. We were all perfectly healthy before we boarded the plane. The day after we got there, Kolby started coughing. Then Sage, finally I succumbed to the cold. We weren't miserable, just a cold. Kolby had a bit of a fever with it, but with Tylenol, it was no big deal. A runny nose, low grade fever, and a cough. The fever cleared up, we drove to our second place to stay, my sisters.
The cough stuck around, the fever and runny nose cleared up. After a week, we transferred to our third place to stay, my brothers.
Kolby had started to get a little worse but wasn't terrible. Then he got terrible. He was so clingy and fussy. He only wanted to be held by me. He was warm, but was it because I was holding him all the time or did he have a fever. I didn't check. A mistake that I hopefully won't make again. For two nights, I was up with him a lot, like a couple hour chunks at a time. I was exhausted. Finally, my mom says she thinks I should take him to the ER (it was a Sunday). I hemmed and hawed and called my mother in law who works as a pediatric triage nurse. She said take him in. I hemmed and hawed. We called my brothers neighbor who used to be an EMT. He said take him in. I decided to take him in.
He was diagnosed with a bronchial virus, probably RSV, but the nurse didn't realize it was a nose swab test and kept waiting for the blood test to come back and a double ear infection. We were sent home with a nebulizer for albueteral treatments every 4 hours around the clock and amoxicillin. I was already tired. I got more worn down, but a little more sleep. The amoxicillin gave him diarrhea but not enough to be of concern.
My mom decided we should come and stay in a hotel with her so she could help me with the night time treatments. During the two hour drive, Sage wasn't looking so hot. But he wanted milk and food and treats so I of course, gave him everything he asked for. We stopped to nurse Kolby and my mom bought Sage a sucker. I put a bib on him because he is such a drooler and I didn't want chocolate, sticky, drool on his clothes. Then he barfed. Everything. I don't handly puke. My mom cleaned it up. All of it. She is a great mom.
Kolby slept through the 11 pm and would usually wake up to nurse after the 3 am time. Sage slept through all the treatments. The first one, he woke up and I explained that I had to give Kolby his treatment and did he want to help. He sat with me on the bed, with his hand on my lap while I held the nozzle to Kolby's face. The treatment took about 10 - 12 minutes and about half way through, he got up, walked to his bed and half laid, half stood there. Then he announced "Me poopy."
The next morning, we made our way back to my in laws, our fourth and final destination before glorious home. Sage threw up some toast and water breakfast at the hotel in the breakfast room, on a paper plate and the floor. I don't think it totally counted as throwing up because he was coughing pretty hard and then it came up and it wasn't everything he ate, just a little bit.
The drive part went great. We stopped at Culvers to nurse Kolby, give him a treatment and feed ourselves. Sage was on a bread and water diet. I sat down to start nursing Kolby and felt a wet spot. He had a blow out. At that point, I should have thought, of course, we are just one disaster after another this trip.
The rest of the trip was smooth driving.
The next exciting thing that happened was going to church with my in-laws. I wasn't going to risk putting the boys in a nursery the day before we are supposed to fly out, so I kept them with me. They did great, that isn't the good part. During the closing song, the fire alarm went off. The song leaders kept singing, no one seemed to notice. I immediatly gathered our coats and started putting them on and was explaining to Sage what was going on and what we are doing. Then everyone started moving and I was in the way. It isn't a small task putting coats on two wiggly boys and trying to do it quickly and calmly. There wasn't a fire, but a flood. A pipe froze from the sprinkler system and flooded the front of the worship space.
I think I will talk to Sage about what he should do if he hears a fire alarm at our house. We should all have a plan.
The cough stuck around, the fever and runny nose cleared up. After a week, we transferred to our third place to stay, my brothers.
Kolby had started to get a little worse but wasn't terrible. Then he got terrible. He was so clingy and fussy. He only wanted to be held by me. He was warm, but was it because I was holding him all the time or did he have a fever. I didn't check. A mistake that I hopefully won't make again. For two nights, I was up with him a lot, like a couple hour chunks at a time. I was exhausted. Finally, my mom says she thinks I should take him to the ER (it was a Sunday). I hemmed and hawed and called my mother in law who works as a pediatric triage nurse. She said take him in. I hemmed and hawed. We called my brothers neighbor who used to be an EMT. He said take him in. I decided to take him in.
He was diagnosed with a bronchial virus, probably RSV, but the nurse didn't realize it was a nose swab test and kept waiting for the blood test to come back and a double ear infection. We were sent home with a nebulizer for albueteral treatments every 4 hours around the clock and amoxicillin. I was already tired. I got more worn down, but a little more sleep. The amoxicillin gave him diarrhea but not enough to be of concern.
My mom decided we should come and stay in a hotel with her so she could help me with the night time treatments. During the two hour drive, Sage wasn't looking so hot. But he wanted milk and food and treats so I of course, gave him everything he asked for. We stopped to nurse Kolby and my mom bought Sage a sucker. I put a bib on him because he is such a drooler and I didn't want chocolate, sticky, drool on his clothes. Then he barfed. Everything. I don't handly puke. My mom cleaned it up. All of it. She is a great mom.
Kolby slept through the 11 pm and would usually wake up to nurse after the 3 am time. Sage slept through all the treatments. The first one, he woke up and I explained that I had to give Kolby his treatment and did he want to help. He sat with me on the bed, with his hand on my lap while I held the nozzle to Kolby's face. The treatment took about 10 - 12 minutes and about half way through, he got up, walked to his bed and half laid, half stood there. Then he announced "Me poopy."
The next morning, we made our way back to my in laws, our fourth and final destination before glorious home. Sage threw up some toast and water breakfast at the hotel in the breakfast room, on a paper plate and the floor. I don't think it totally counted as throwing up because he was coughing pretty hard and then it came up and it wasn't everything he ate, just a little bit.
The drive part went great. We stopped at Culvers to nurse Kolby, give him a treatment and feed ourselves. Sage was on a bread and water diet. I sat down to start nursing Kolby and felt a wet spot. He had a blow out. At that point, I should have thought, of course, we are just one disaster after another this trip.
The rest of the trip was smooth driving.
The next exciting thing that happened was going to church with my in-laws. I wasn't going to risk putting the boys in a nursery the day before we are supposed to fly out, so I kept them with me. They did great, that isn't the good part. During the closing song, the fire alarm went off. The song leaders kept singing, no one seemed to notice. I immediatly gathered our coats and started putting them on and was explaining to Sage what was going on and what we are doing. Then everyone started moving and I was in the way. It isn't a small task putting coats on two wiggly boys and trying to do it quickly and calmly. There wasn't a fire, but a flood. A pipe froze from the sprinkler system and flooded the front of the worship space.
I think I will talk to Sage about what he should do if he hears a fire alarm at our house. We should all have a plan.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Almost MIA
We finally returned home from a month long hiatus called "My husband went to China for 2 weeks right after the new year and I am not staying 24 hours away from all relatives while he is gone." Whew.
Sage, Kolby and I moved from house to house for almost a month, stayed at 4 different places, took Kolby to the ER once, gave him countless albueterall treatments and amoxicillan for a double ear infection. I was so looking forward to being home. My own stuff! My bed! My car! My kitchen! My space! My kids beds! Then, the morning we were supposed to get on a plane and fly home, I got sick. I felt awful. But that was not stopping me. Drew arrived home the day before and I was not going to spend one more night away from him. I showered, dressed the boys, packed the bags, loaded the van, strapped in the boys, and stopped at Target for Immodium AD where I was told the manufacturer says it's not safe for nursing moms, American Academy of Pediatrics says it is safe. I took the second opinion. And it worked! I still felt awful and nervous for action down there. But I made it.
The plane was delayed. Kolby had already missed his morning nap. Finally on the plane he konked out while nursing. But then Sage needed a dvd switch and with the rummaging, he woke up, never to return to lala land again while flying. He was so fussy. I kept trying to nurse him, switching sides, he would suck then start crying. I was rocking him and rocking him. He was the kind of fussy where it wasn't constant but as the mom I felt like I had to constantly soothe him because i just didn't know what would set him off. But i kept telling myself, make it to baggage claim, Drew will be there and he will solve everything.
As we got off the plane, Sage wanted to walk and then said "Me, wet." I look down to see his jeans are drenched. I had changed him before the first time we were supposed to get on, not the second and actual time. So, what I thought was going to be a 4 hour diaper (long stretch, I know but how was I going to change it on the plane with two kids) turned into about a 6 hour diaper with a couple of milks and juices so his ears wouldn't hurt. Do you think I had extra pants for him in my carry on? No. Kolby? Yes. Good planning. I found a bathroom, changed him decided to go myself and then change Kolby also. Drew starts calling. I explain. He keeps calling as I am trying to push a double stroller, carry my overflowing carry on, not drop or roll over our coats and not think about the fact that my 2 year old is sitting in the stroller wearing no pants. And I am out of breath because I am so sick and I am sweating.
I answer as I walk in to baggage claim and say "I'm here, at baggage claim 2." I start looking for him, I just want a hug. I don't see him.
He says "I am here and all the luggage has come off and yours wasn't here."
I look around, see a piece of our luggage coming around the bend and say "I see a piece, come to baggage claim 2." We hang up. I collect all 4 pieces of luggage which now that I have all 4 bags, 3 rolling and one duffell, I can't physically move us and Drew isn't there yet. I move us to the side. I get an offer for a baggage cart then for someone to send a porter. No thanks, my husband will be here in one minute.
Drew calls again. "What airport are you at?"
"JFK"
"I'm at Laguardia."
I hang up, sit down in front of the stroller and sobbingly say "Sage, dada went to the wrong airport, he isn't here." Sage yells at me "No sad!" Like pull it together woman! Then a few minutes later, he is starts to cry, "Dada!" A nice man, a porter I think, helps me move out of the baggage claim and by a door. He refuses my tip. Kindness of strangers. I pull out the Starburst that I hadn't given Sage on the plane since he is demanding to eat and the machine won't take my $1 so I can buy crackers. About a half hour later, Drew is there, gets us to the car and we barely pack in our luggage and start the 1.5 hour ride home. I had collapsed into his arms, started crying and then he pushed me out and said "I'm illegally parked, we gotta go!"
When we finally got home, I collapsed into bed with chills and shakes. A day passed and then Drew and Kolby got it. Last night and today were no fun. I am exhausted and not sure why I am still awake.
Sage, Kolby and I moved from house to house for almost a month, stayed at 4 different places, took Kolby to the ER once, gave him countless albueterall treatments and amoxicillan for a double ear infection. I was so looking forward to being home. My own stuff! My bed! My car! My kitchen! My space! My kids beds! Then, the morning we were supposed to get on a plane and fly home, I got sick. I felt awful. But that was not stopping me. Drew arrived home the day before and I was not going to spend one more night away from him. I showered, dressed the boys, packed the bags, loaded the van, strapped in the boys, and stopped at Target for Immodium AD where I was told the manufacturer says it's not safe for nursing moms, American Academy of Pediatrics says it is safe. I took the second opinion. And it worked! I still felt awful and nervous for action down there. But I made it.
The plane was delayed. Kolby had already missed his morning nap. Finally on the plane he konked out while nursing. But then Sage needed a dvd switch and with the rummaging, he woke up, never to return to lala land again while flying. He was so fussy. I kept trying to nurse him, switching sides, he would suck then start crying. I was rocking him and rocking him. He was the kind of fussy where it wasn't constant but as the mom I felt like I had to constantly soothe him because i just didn't know what would set him off. But i kept telling myself, make it to baggage claim, Drew will be there and he will solve everything.
As we got off the plane, Sage wanted to walk and then said "Me, wet." I look down to see his jeans are drenched. I had changed him before the first time we were supposed to get on, not the second and actual time. So, what I thought was going to be a 4 hour diaper (long stretch, I know but how was I going to change it on the plane with two kids) turned into about a 6 hour diaper with a couple of milks and juices so his ears wouldn't hurt. Do you think I had extra pants for him in my carry on? No. Kolby? Yes. Good planning. I found a bathroom, changed him decided to go myself and then change Kolby also. Drew starts calling. I explain. He keeps calling as I am trying to push a double stroller, carry my overflowing carry on, not drop or roll over our coats and not think about the fact that my 2 year old is sitting in the stroller wearing no pants. And I am out of breath because I am so sick and I am sweating.
I answer as I walk in to baggage claim and say "I'm here, at baggage claim 2." I start looking for him, I just want a hug. I don't see him.
He says "I am here and all the luggage has come off and yours wasn't here."
I look around, see a piece of our luggage coming around the bend and say "I see a piece, come to baggage claim 2." We hang up. I collect all 4 pieces of luggage which now that I have all 4 bags, 3 rolling and one duffell, I can't physically move us and Drew isn't there yet. I move us to the side. I get an offer for a baggage cart then for someone to send a porter. No thanks, my husband will be here in one minute.
Drew calls again. "What airport are you at?"
"JFK"
"I'm at Laguardia."
I hang up, sit down in front of the stroller and sobbingly say "Sage, dada went to the wrong airport, he isn't here." Sage yells at me "No sad!" Like pull it together woman! Then a few minutes later, he is starts to cry, "Dada!" A nice man, a porter I think, helps me move out of the baggage claim and by a door. He refuses my tip. Kindness of strangers. I pull out the Starburst that I hadn't given Sage on the plane since he is demanding to eat and the machine won't take my $1 so I can buy crackers. About a half hour later, Drew is there, gets us to the car and we barely pack in our luggage and start the 1.5 hour ride home. I had collapsed into his arms, started crying and then he pushed me out and said "I'm illegally parked, we gotta go!"
When we finally got home, I collapsed into bed with chills and shakes. A day passed and then Drew and Kolby got it. Last night and today were no fun. I am exhausted and not sure why I am still awake.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
He Needs Me
I change his diaper
He needs me
I bathe him
He needs me
I tickle his feet
I wipe off his sticky hands
He needs me
I lay him down for a nap
He sleeps
He cries
I lay down with him
He needs me
He snuggles his chin to mine
He needs me
He rests his arm on me
Alway touching me
He needs me
He sleeps
Again
I need him
I need to rest
We rest together
We need each other
He needs me
I bathe him
He needs me
I tickle his feet
I wipe off his sticky hands
He needs me
I lay him down for a nap
He sleeps
He cries
I lay down with him
He needs me
He snuggles his chin to mine
He needs me
He rests his arm on me
Alway touching me
He needs me
He sleeps
Again
I need him
I need to rest
We rest together
We need each other
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Weaning rethought
Nursing isn't hurting as badly and so I have decided to forego the weaning process for now. I might still give Kolby a bottle or two everyday so that I can make sure I stay pain free. I missed it, it made me sad to be stopping. So, I decided why stop. He is doing great with going back and forth so I feel confident that we can keep this up longer.
I also learned that I might have been attaching him wrong. Did you know you are supposed to line up their nose with your nipple?
I'll leave you with that thought.
I also learned that I might have been attaching him wrong. Did you know you are supposed to line up their nose with your nipple?
I'll leave you with that thought.
Poop stories
I got to go out last night and Drew fixed dinner and put the kids to bed. At dinner, Drew farted silently. Sage immediatly looks at him, points his arm and hand and says "Dada. Poopy. Bopper (diaper). Change. Now. Please!"
Also, yesterday afternoon Drew was home with the boys and he told Sage he was going to take a nap on Sage's bed with Kolby. Sage left the room, shut the door then peeked it back open and said "No talking!"
This morning, Sage was standing in the living room looking at a book, looked up, smiled big and said "Me fart!" followed by "Me poopy gain." Good morning to you too.
Also, yesterday afternoon Drew was home with the boys and he told Sage he was going to take a nap on Sage's bed with Kolby. Sage left the room, shut the door then peeked it back open and said "No talking!"
This morning, Sage was standing in the living room looking at a book, looked up, smiled big and said "Me fart!" followed by "Me poopy gain." Good morning to you too.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Boggled Thoughts
*************WARNING**************Breastfeeding talk*************
I have decided to wean Kolbs. Nursing started to hurt about a month ago. Just on one side and just for the first few minutes. I tried a couple different things like switching to a cotton bra and just getting through it. Then both sides started to hurt. Then it wasn't just for a few minutes, it was the whole feeding. I tried to go to a breastfeeding support group but they said I couldn't bring Sage. Thanks for the support! (that was sarcastic, if you didn't catch it) So, I just kept going on. And then the thought entered my mind, wean him. I didn't feel at peace about it and then I talked to my mom, husband and friends and they said, "You have done a great job, he is a very healthy baby, do what is best for you." Everyone is so supportive but I still don't feel right. I feel like I am giving up, quiting. He is fine. He takes the bottle. He gets excited when he sees me making it. And then I think maybe I should just keep nursing him. And then I nurse him again. And it hurts. And then I think I am doing the right thing. But, man, bottles are a pain. Making them, washing them, carting them around and the formula. Maybe I am just sad to let the nursing relationship end. I think I am doing the right thing. And then self-doubt comes back. Maybe I should just keep on and nurse through the pain. And then i nurse him and wince the whole time and wonder how long one baby needs to nurse anyway. So, I'm weaning. He takes 3 bottles a day and nurses twice right now, early morning and right before bed.
Also, Kolby is a punk. He still wakes up during the night. Some nights as many as 5 times, others just once. Sometimes, he just needs his passy and then he goes back to sleep but sometimes I have to rock him back to sleep. He eats between 4 and 5 am still. I am tired. 3 bedrooms would be nice...
Sage is so excited to fly on the pairplane and see everyone! Drew told him that he gets his own seat this time but he has to keep his seat belt buckled and that his ears might hurt. Later in the day, he said "Pairplane, ears hurt?" And covered both ears with his hands.
He has been asking to sit on the potty, runs to the bathroom and then doesn't want to. He has sat many times and produced nothing. He knows if he does, he will get m&m's. Today, he looked at me, yelled "POOPY!", ran to the bathroom, then yelled and ran out when I came in to help, then ran in again and wanted to sit on the potty. Do you think he hears voices?
When should kids start learning their colors? Sage thinks everything is red or black or geen. But rarely gets them right.
I have decided to wean Kolbs. Nursing started to hurt about a month ago. Just on one side and just for the first few minutes. I tried a couple different things like switching to a cotton bra and just getting through it. Then both sides started to hurt. Then it wasn't just for a few minutes, it was the whole feeding. I tried to go to a breastfeeding support group but they said I couldn't bring Sage. Thanks for the support! (that was sarcastic, if you didn't catch it) So, I just kept going on. And then the thought entered my mind, wean him. I didn't feel at peace about it and then I talked to my mom, husband and friends and they said, "You have done a great job, he is a very healthy baby, do what is best for you." Everyone is so supportive but I still don't feel right. I feel like I am giving up, quiting. He is fine. He takes the bottle. He gets excited when he sees me making it. And then I think maybe I should just keep nursing him. And then I nurse him again. And it hurts. And then I think I am doing the right thing. But, man, bottles are a pain. Making them, washing them, carting them around and the formula. Maybe I am just sad to let the nursing relationship end. I think I am doing the right thing. And then self-doubt comes back. Maybe I should just keep on and nurse through the pain. And then i nurse him and wince the whole time and wonder how long one baby needs to nurse anyway. So, I'm weaning. He takes 3 bottles a day and nurses twice right now, early morning and right before bed.
Also, Kolby is a punk. He still wakes up during the night. Some nights as many as 5 times, others just once. Sometimes, he just needs his passy and then he goes back to sleep but sometimes I have to rock him back to sleep. He eats between 4 and 5 am still. I am tired. 3 bedrooms would be nice...
Sage is so excited to fly on the pairplane and see everyone! Drew told him that he gets his own seat this time but he has to keep his seat belt buckled and that his ears might hurt. Later in the day, he said "Pairplane, ears hurt?" And covered both ears with his hands.
He has been asking to sit on the potty, runs to the bathroom and then doesn't want to. He has sat many times and produced nothing. He knows if he does, he will get m&m's. Today, he looked at me, yelled "POOPY!", ran to the bathroom, then yelled and ran out when I came in to help, then ran in again and wanted to sit on the potty. Do you think he hears voices?
When should kids start learning their colors? Sage thinks everything is red or black or geen. But rarely gets them right.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Sageisms Part 2
He will ask to ride the Nascar car at the mall everytime. Today I said yes and plugged in my dollar. If you have never seen this car, you pick a course and the car moves like it would if you were really racing it, so it tilts and shakes. As soon as it starts to tilt, Sage's eyes get big and the fear comes over his face. Then it starts to shake and the screams start and I can't get him out fast enough. I felt bad when he wouldn't get back in when it was all done because he was scared.
Whenever I am in the kitchen, he asks "What makin, mama?"
Foffee.
Yog. (yogurt)
If I leave my Dt. Coke glass out, he will always pick it up and try to drink that last dribble.
He takes his shoes and socks off in the car and doesn't care that the ground is cold when I make him walk from the garage to the house without them on. It is supposed to deter him from doing it next time, but it has happened 3 times.
At the mall, if I mean, when I walk in to the Gap, he says, "No yooking, mama!"
If the stroller stops and he deems it unnecessary, he says "Push me!"
Whenever I am in the kitchen, he asks "What makin, mama?"
Foffee.
Yog. (yogurt)
If I leave my Dt. Coke glass out, he will always pick it up and try to drink that last dribble.
He takes his shoes and socks off in the car and doesn't care that the ground is cold when I make him walk from the garage to the house without them on. It is supposed to deter him from doing it next time, but it has happened 3 times.
At the mall, if I mean, when I walk in to the Gap, he says, "No yooking, mama!"
If the stroller stops and he deems it unnecessary, he says "Push me!"
Q: How can you make both boys cry at the same time?
A: Yell "Hip, Hip Hooray!" loudly.
You will see two chins quiver, four eyes fill with tears, two mouths drop open and hear two loud cries. Then you will see two parents laughing as they each reach for a little boy to comfort.
You will see two chins quiver, four eyes fill with tears, two mouths drop open and hear two loud cries. Then you will see two parents laughing as they each reach for a little boy to comfort.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Heavy Breathing
Incident relayed to me by my husband:
Drew, hearing noise coming from the boys room, sounding like Sage singing and talking to no one in particular, opens the door. The room is quiet, Sage is laying motionless in his bed. Drew walks over and says,
"Sage, no singing, talking or making noise."
Sage breathes heavily.
"Sage, if you talk, sing or make noise again, you will get in trouble."
Sage breathes heavily.
Drew stands silently, watching.
Sage's head moves slightly, his eyes slitting open, and quickly shut, more heavy breathing.
Drew covers Sage with the blanket, what he has termed 'the final test'*.
"Bankie off!"
*'the final test' refers to Sage's hatred of being covered with the blanket. He will only allow a sheet to cover him, if you violate these terms, he will let you know.
Drew, hearing noise coming from the boys room, sounding like Sage singing and talking to no one in particular, opens the door. The room is quiet, Sage is laying motionless in his bed. Drew walks over and says,
"Sage, no singing, talking or making noise."
Sage breathes heavily.
"Sage, if you talk, sing or make noise again, you will get in trouble."
Sage breathes heavily.
Drew stands silently, watching.
Sage's head moves slightly, his eyes slitting open, and quickly shut, more heavy breathing.
Drew covers Sage with the blanket, what he has termed 'the final test'*.
"Bankie off!"
*'the final test' refers to Sage's hatred of being covered with the blanket. He will only allow a sheet to cover him, if you violate these terms, he will let you know.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Baby vs. Puppy
Someone told me that a dog is harder than having children. Her reasoning? Because you can take kids with you everywhere you go. Hmm. A dog is easier than having a baby. After having thought about it, I wonder, should I be offended? I am a stay at home mom, to kids, a baby and a toddler. I don't have a dog, I am not a stay at home dog-carer. And would a dog be harder? I haven't owned my own dog as an adult yet. But we did have one as I grew up and I am going to say that taking care of kids, much harder than a dog. Here are my reasons.
1. A child, you have to shepherd their heart. A dog, you have to train them to pee and poop outside and not chew things.
2. A child, you have to take with you everywhere you go. It is illegal to leave them home caged up.
3. I wipe poop off their butts, enough said.
4. I make milk for them and let them suck it out of me, do you do that for your puppy?
This is just a small list, I am sure there are others that I can't think of right now. As I reread this, I am thinking, I can't believe I am even defending myself that children are harder to take care of than dogs.
1. A child, you have to shepherd their heart. A dog, you have to train them to pee and poop outside and not chew things.
2. A child, you have to take with you everywhere you go. It is illegal to leave them home caged up.
3. I wipe poop off their butts, enough said.
4. I make milk for them and let them suck it out of me, do you do that for your puppy?
This is just a small list, I am sure there are others that I can't think of right now. As I reread this, I am thinking, I can't believe I am even defending myself that children are harder to take care of than dogs.
Love-Hate
***********Warning**************Breastfeeding*Post************************************************************************
I have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding. Actually, hate is too strong of a word. I usually like it, most of the time love it, especially while I am nursing. But sometimes, it hurts again, like a newborn is learning to nurse and everything has to get worked out hurt. Like he is latching wrong or lazily. And then my mind plays tricks on me like I can't leave Kolby EVER because he has to nurse and no one else can nurse him and aaaaaagggggghhhhh, too much pressure. But I love knowing that I can comfort him like no one else can. I love knowing that he is getting the best of what he needs. I love knowing that he is so chubby because of what I fed him. I love that is always with me, no bottle required to leave the house. I love the ease. I am tired of nursing him in public. He wants to look around too much and flash me to the world. I am tired of wearing nursing bras. And they are too big because I have shrunk again but I bought a new one, wrong size and the stupid company won't return a stupid email or a stupid phone call so now I have a stupid bra that doesn't stupid fit and I spent stupid money on it and the company is stupid. I am tired of always having to think about what I am wearing, where we are going and what will be easiest to nurse in and not flash the world my boob or my stretch marked stomache and side.
So, basically, I am selfish and selfishly tired of nursing and it is not all wonderful and happy. Some of it is stupid. And I am stupid and selfish. And so I must continue. I told myself that I would make it to one year, less than 4 months to go. Should I buy another stupid bra? Stupid company. Don't buy from breakoutbras.com, sure they give you free shipping but zero customer service. I should have dragged the boys to the store where they measure you and you pay more for it and you have to have an appointment but the bra would have fit. Lesson learned.
I have a love-hate relationship with breastfeeding. Actually, hate is too strong of a word. I usually like it, most of the time love it, especially while I am nursing. But sometimes, it hurts again, like a newborn is learning to nurse and everything has to get worked out hurt. Like he is latching wrong or lazily. And then my mind plays tricks on me like I can't leave Kolby EVER because he has to nurse and no one else can nurse him and aaaaaagggggghhhhh, too much pressure. But I love knowing that I can comfort him like no one else can. I love knowing that he is getting the best of what he needs. I love knowing that he is so chubby because of what I fed him. I love that is always with me, no bottle required to leave the house. I love the ease. I am tired of nursing him in public. He wants to look around too much and flash me to the world. I am tired of wearing nursing bras. And they are too big because I have shrunk again but I bought a new one, wrong size and the stupid company won't return a stupid email or a stupid phone call so now I have a stupid bra that doesn't stupid fit and I spent stupid money on it and the company is stupid. I am tired of always having to think about what I am wearing, where we are going and what will be easiest to nurse in and not flash the world my boob or my stretch marked stomache and side.
So, basically, I am selfish and selfishly tired of nursing and it is not all wonderful and happy. Some of it is stupid. And I am stupid and selfish. And so I must continue. I told myself that I would make it to one year, less than 4 months to go. Should I buy another stupid bra? Stupid company. Don't buy from breakoutbras.com, sure they give you free shipping but zero customer service. I should have dragged the boys to the store where they measure you and you pay more for it and you have to have an appointment but the bra would have fit. Lesson learned.
Friday, November 17, 2006
My God is so BIG!
Last Wednesday or Thursday, I can't remember, I decided that I needed to start praying that Kolby would roll over from his back to his front. It has been over a month since he got his bar off during the day and he was showing no signs of rolling over. The pediatrician said not to worry, she expected a delay because of the bar, but worry I did. So, I told God, I am worried about him not rolling and I am asking You with faith that only You can make this happen that Kolby will roll from his back to his tummy by next Friday the 19th. I wanted to ask for a specific time and something that would seem impossible to me. When Kolby would be laid down on his back, he would lay there and move his head to look around. It was like he didn't realize that the bar was off and his legs and feet could move. After I started praying Kolby started showing huge signs of improvement. He started to lift both his legs and play with his feet. Then he kind of started rolling toward his side. Last night, he was all the way on his side and just couldn't make it over. I knew God was doing this. I did however doubt God on Tuesday, I confessed it and went back to praying in faith.
This morning I laid him down on the floor while I changed Sage's diaper. And he immediatly rolled to his side and almost all the way over but got stuck on his arm, of course I started cheering, he whipped his head around and back to his back he went. I started crying because I knew today is the day. God is going to show himself to me. I asked and he is answering in a big way. After his morning nap, back to the floor he went. I didn't give him any toys but put them around him just out of his reach. He laid there and was content to just look around for about 10 minutes. Then he looked behind him, and rolled from his back to his tummy. Again, I started crying and cheering and Sage started cheering and we were yelling "Praise the Lord!" and he immediatly rolled to his back again!
Why is it that I can give total credit to God for this yet feel so silly doing so? I prayed, he answerd yes and now I feel silly that i prayed for that. It is just Satan trying to rob me of my joy in my God. My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there is nothing my God cannot do, for YOU!
This morning I laid him down on the floor while I changed Sage's diaper. And he immediatly rolled to his side and almost all the way over but got stuck on his arm, of course I started cheering, he whipped his head around and back to his back he went. I started crying because I knew today is the day. God is going to show himself to me. I asked and he is answering in a big way. After his morning nap, back to the floor he went. I didn't give him any toys but put them around him just out of his reach. He laid there and was content to just look around for about 10 minutes. Then he looked behind him, and rolled from his back to his tummy. Again, I started crying and cheering and Sage started cheering and we were yelling "Praise the Lord!" and he immediatly rolled to his back again!
Why is it that I can give total credit to God for this yet feel so silly doing so? I prayed, he answerd yes and now I feel silly that i prayed for that. It is just Satan trying to rob me of my joy in my God. My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there is nothing my God cannot do, for YOU!
Friday, November 10, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Been thinking...
Never a good sign, I know!
I have been thinking about where we are going to be this summer. You see, Drew has to do an internship. It is looking like Minneapolis is out of the running. Not for sure, but looking that way. I realized that I was looking forward to an adventure for the summer. Something different. Going somewhere. Not staying here. I am ready for a change. And that got me thinking. I have always thought that I wanted Drew to graduate, get a job, move to Minneapolis and settle. Stay there for the rest of our lives. Stay put. Put down roots. Settle. Now, I wonder if I really want that. I kind of want to move somewhere else exciting, not back to the midwest. Am I always going to feel this way? Am I ever going to want to settle? Put down roots?
I grew up in the same city, we never even moved houses. I always assumed that is how I would want my family to be. And then we moved. And I have survived and come to like it! I like living here. Sure, there are still things I miss. Like Cornerstone and food prices. But I like living here. I like walking to Trinity, the grocery store, to vote and the park. I like Pepe's pizza. I love Pepe's pizza. It will be hard only having normal chain pizza.
My answer to both questions. I don't know. I don't know where we will be this summer or when Drew graduates but I know that I am not in control and that is good for now. I pray about it and talk to God about my desires and dreams, but ultimatly, it isn't up to me and that makes me feel...peaceful, at ease, I can only pray about it and it will work out how it is supposed to. It is that easy!
I have been thinking about where we are going to be this summer. You see, Drew has to do an internship. It is looking like Minneapolis is out of the running. Not for sure, but looking that way. I realized that I was looking forward to an adventure for the summer. Something different. Going somewhere. Not staying here. I am ready for a change. And that got me thinking. I have always thought that I wanted Drew to graduate, get a job, move to Minneapolis and settle. Stay there for the rest of our lives. Stay put. Put down roots. Settle. Now, I wonder if I really want that. I kind of want to move somewhere else exciting, not back to the midwest. Am I always going to feel this way? Am I ever going to want to settle? Put down roots?
I grew up in the same city, we never even moved houses. I always assumed that is how I would want my family to be. And then we moved. And I have survived and come to like it! I like living here. Sure, there are still things I miss. Like Cornerstone and food prices. But I like living here. I like walking to Trinity, the grocery store, to vote and the park. I like Pepe's pizza. I love Pepe's pizza. It will be hard only having normal chain pizza.
My answer to both questions. I don't know. I don't know where we will be this summer or when Drew graduates but I know that I am not in control and that is good for now. I pray about it and talk to God about my desires and dreams, but ultimatly, it isn't up to me and that makes me feel...peaceful, at ease, I can only pray about it and it will work out how it is supposed to. It is that easy!
Swimming Lessons
I have always said that my kids were going to take swimming lessons very young. I don't want them to be afraid of the water and I want them to know how to swim. I love swimming. I swam competitively while growing up and it is a great sport and a great life skill.
Sage has yet to take a lesson. Not for the lack of trying. It seems that lessons are either very expensive or for older children, like 4, when fear of the water has already set in. My only hope is open swims. Saturdays from 11 - 2. Already this Saturday, we have a conflict, a birthday party and next Saturday, Drew is going to be gone, so no one to watch Kolby. Frustrating.
Sage has yet to take a lesson. Not for the lack of trying. It seems that lessons are either very expensive or for older children, like 4, when fear of the water has already set in. My only hope is open swims. Saturdays from 11 - 2. Already this Saturday, we have a conflict, a birthday party and next Saturday, Drew is going to be gone, so no one to watch Kolby. Frustrating.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Sageisms
Sage says pairplane for airplane. Tonight, Drew decided to teach him to say airplane. Now he says airpairplane.
I tried to teach him the other day that what state we live in. I told him we live in Connecticut and he said, "No, pairplane."
He now describes things as "Neat!"
Tonight, Drew was taking Sage to pick up a pizza and I stood back and said, "bye, have fun" and he ran back down the hall with his arms outstretched and said "Tiss, mama."
He gives the best kisses at bedtime. I lean down and he wraps his little arm around my head and holds my head into his lips and gives me a smack, smack, smack. And I have to pry myself away from his grasp or the smacks would continue indefinitly.
"Tornertone!" He watches a dvd from Cornerstone almost daily and then later will get his toy guitar and point to himself and say "Me, Wally." And he will sing and raise his hands in the air.
Consequently, he prays for Wally almost everyday at lunch or bedtime and sometimes both!
And he asks/tells me everday, Tornertone, Iowa?! He is looking forward to attending Cornerstone when we visit!
He is getting sassy and will talk back. One day I told him he was being sassy and right on que, he looked at me and yelled "Sassy!"
He calls yogurt, yog.
He finally added ton to but. For a long time a button was a butt!
He is learning to say "May I be excused, please?"
Bootball!!! (football) He always wants to watch bootball on tv. And he loves to sit on the touch and eat a nat. (snack)
Baball hoop. He spots them everywhere while we are driving or walking. And he makes buckets, laundry baskets, or containers into his hoops during the day. He shoots with whatever ball he finds first, even if it is a football. When he misses, he says "Ohhhh, miss!"
He will tirelessly throw a football down the hall, laugh, run and get it and throw it the other way.
He can catch! Once every fifteen times and if the ball hits him squarely in the chest, but a catch is a catch!
I tried to teach him the other day that what state we live in. I told him we live in Connecticut and he said, "No, pairplane."
He now describes things as "Neat!"
Tonight, Drew was taking Sage to pick up a pizza and I stood back and said, "bye, have fun" and he ran back down the hall with his arms outstretched and said "Tiss, mama."
He gives the best kisses at bedtime. I lean down and he wraps his little arm around my head and holds my head into his lips and gives me a smack, smack, smack. And I have to pry myself away from his grasp or the smacks would continue indefinitly.
"Tornertone!" He watches a dvd from Cornerstone almost daily and then later will get his toy guitar and point to himself and say "Me, Wally." And he will sing and raise his hands in the air.
Consequently, he prays for Wally almost everyday at lunch or bedtime and sometimes both!
And he asks/tells me everday, Tornertone, Iowa?! He is looking forward to attending Cornerstone when we visit!
He is getting sassy and will talk back. One day I told him he was being sassy and right on que, he looked at me and yelled "Sassy!"
He calls yogurt, yog.
He finally added ton to but. For a long time a button was a butt!
He is learning to say "May I be excused, please?"
Bootball!!! (football) He always wants to watch bootball on tv. And he loves to sit on the touch and eat a nat. (snack)
Baball hoop. He spots them everywhere while we are driving or walking. And he makes buckets, laundry baskets, or containers into his hoops during the day. He shoots with whatever ball he finds first, even if it is a football. When he misses, he says "Ohhhh, miss!"
He will tirelessly throw a football down the hall, laugh, run and get it and throw it the other way.
He can catch! Once every fifteen times and if the ball hits him squarely in the chest, but a catch is a catch!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Ebay is stupid.
I have been using ebay for a couple of years. I like selling stuff that I don't need and buying stuff I do, or sometimes, don't need. I have had good experiences with buyers and sellers. Until I decided to buy some cloth wipes. This was an impulse buy. I looked them up and bid on the first auction because it was ending SOON and there were NO bidders! I won and then felt stupid because I paid way too much for used wipes. Which, I still haven't used. Anyway, they took ffffoooorrrreeeevvveeerrr to arrive. I actuall emailed the seller and asked when I would receive them and I had waited a while because, let's remember, I felt stupid for buying them. Bring on the sob story. Her mother in law is sick and dying. I totally get that and empathize. And I don't really care that the package is taking fffooorrreeevvveeerrr to arrive, I just want to make sure I am actually getting something that I have already paid for. Oh, I forgot to mention that right after the auction, she contacted me to see if I wanted another burp cloth, and would I pay more for that one too. Umm, no, I don't want another burp cloth, thanks, I have more than I use since Kolby has practically stopped spitting up. So, the package arrives and everything is as it should be. Does she deserve positive feedback? Not in my book. Communication on her end was not great. Remember when she contacted me and asked if I wanted to pay her more money for more of the same product I had already bought from her? She didn't mention her ailing grandmother and a slow shipping schedule. Then I didn't hear from her until after I had received the item and I noticed the date sent was the day after I had emailed. Coincidense? I doubt it. And then she was asking if I had received and could I leave positive feedback. Now, to her credit, she did offer to mail me some more burp cloths (Again, no thanks) or if I wanted, she could refund some money for shipping charges. She only offered, she put the ball in my court. I replied saying that the transaction hadn't been the best I had on ebay and thought leaving no feedback was better than leaving someone neutral. It wasn't horrible, just slow, confusing and I felt slightly lied to. I don't think she has been honest in her dealings with me. I just got a lengthy reply about the mother in law having less than a month, dealing with lawyers and I forgot the other part of the sob story, she sells things on ebay for her daughters astronimical tuition which her friend is now doing for her, bless her heart. And she mentioned that she hasn't told many fellow ebayers about her mom in law but the few she has, have been so understanding and nice (cough,cough, you haven't, jerk) So, my few readers, what do I do? Ignore it and hope it goes away? Reply and ask for a refund and offer positive feedback or stick to my guns and reply and say sorry, charlie. I mean all this for one stupid positive feedback. Go sit by your mother in law, talk to your husband and kids, there are bigger things in life than this stupid positive feedback! And that is why ebay is stupid.
But I am so addicted, this won't deter me! I wonder if anyone is selling...
But I am so addicted, this won't deter me! I wonder if anyone is selling...
Friday, November 03, 2006
I don't get it.
I don't get abortion. I don't get why it is legal. I don't get why parents would not want to know that there teenage daughter is pregnant and making a hard decision. I was reading a blog, www.citymama.typepad.com and she wrote about Prop 85, something that is being voted on only in California, at least this particular Prop. What it boils down to is this, "it would prohibit California teens from getting an abortion until 48 hours after their parents have been notified." And I am thinking, this would be a bad thing because??? According to citymama, it would be bad because "If your daughter came to you and told you she was pregnant, perhaps you'd be supportive and try to help her figure out next steps. But think about teens that live in households with violence, rape, incest or abuse. Prop 85 puts those teens in danger. Passing Prop 85 will not instantly make their family situations better. No law can mandate family communication."
What about the families that don't have violence, rape, incest or abuse and the daughter is ashamed, scared of her parents reaction, sad, or disappointed?
And how many of the 1.3 million cases of abortion each year are because of incest or rape? "On average, women give at least 3 reasons for choosing abortion: 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about 2/3 say they cannot afford a child; and 1/2 say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner (AGI)" (www.abort73.com)
The 3 reasons that women give for choosing abortion? They can be answered with one word. Adoption.
I found my facts on abort73.com. Warning, it is graphic.
What about the families that don't have violence, rape, incest or abuse and the daughter is ashamed, scared of her parents reaction, sad, or disappointed?
And how many of the 1.3 million cases of abortion each year are because of incest or rape? "On average, women give at least 3 reasons for choosing abortion: 3/4 say that having a baby would interfere with work, school or other responsibilities; about 2/3 say they cannot afford a child; and 1/2 say they do not want to be a single parent or are having problems with their husband or partner (AGI)" (www.abort73.com)
The 3 reasons that women give for choosing abortion? They can be answered with one word. Adoption.
I found my facts on abort73.com. Warning, it is graphic.
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